Sunday Ramblings
2007-03-18 14:09:00
Who would've thought that changing your blog layout would take so much time?Two hours and 4 different styles later, I'm still not sure I'm happy with the result...And also, can someone please tell Fergie that we can see through her act of I-don't-really-have-any-talent-so-I'll-cover-it-up-by-spelling-everything-out. And FYI, there's no E in tasty.
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Too close to the truth
2007-03-15 21:36:00
"I kissed a girl once." A friend of mine stated. She was also a long-term close friend of my girlfriend, and, like most people, had no idea about our relationship. We were in the common room, the root of all weird conversations lately. "Oh." I had no idea to say. Best to agree and not attract questions towards myself."Yeah, just the once. Well, apart from that one time that was a full on, y'know-" She backs up her sentence with strange lashing movements of her tongue. "Mmmhmm." Well last night with your best friend was pretty full on... I found myself thinking. Arrgh, shut up, shut up!"Yeah, it lasted three minutes. In front of these guys. Because they apparently love stuff like that.""Course." "Yeah..." She pauses, then says hurridly "Oh but I'd never go further than kissing a girl."I had to stop myself from laughing, I'd definitely heard that one before. Its strange how many teenage girls would confess to kissing a girl, then hurridly say "Oh but nothing more" as if going past tha
Change of Plan
2007-03-14 22:52:00
I cried.I couldn't help it.In front of me, the screen read "Unsuccessful". My last one. My last hope. Gone.With my final rejection from University, I didn't know what to do. This I hadn't planned.So I cried some more.That was 3 days ago, and I'm glad to say now that I'm slowly getting over the fact that I'm not going to go off and study Medicine this year. Of course, my mind was plagued with questions in the past few days. Am I such a failure? What did I do wrong? What if I had done this or that differently? Can I stand to live with my parents another year? Why am I not good enough?But now, I've realised that perhaps this needed to happen to me to make me stronger both as a person and an applicant. Everyone hits their brick wall sometimes. Perhaps my time has come now, and its not the end of the world either. I would have a gap year and re-apply again, with more experience and money and maturity under my belt. And did I mention the money?So yes, gap year here I come! I've got a
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Driving
2007-03-10 16:55:00
Despite women being notoriously famed for their multi-tasking, I for one, cannot do it. Previous attempts to do so have ended up with me patting my belly and rubbing my head and it wasn't long before I decided that any rock-star-drummer dreams were best forgotten.This lack of multi-tasking skills has never been any great problem so far. Except now I am learning to drive.So? I hear you cry. SO, I simply cannot do it. There's too much going on at once. When I've finally got the car moving, I'm checking the mirrors like mad, swinging my head around like some crazy moshing loon. Up ahead, instructions are being fired at me from all directions. Right only. Give way. Traffic lights. Zebra crossing. Go go go! Wait! Slow down! Speed up! Pedestrian! STOP! And don't forget to cover the...Stall....clutch.It's just too much. I don't see how other people can find it so easy and well, natural to do all these things and hold a proper conversation. The most sound I make during my driving lesson
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Rejection
2007-03-07 19:28:00
I was rejected from my third university for Medicine today. In all honesty, I had thought I had a good chance of being made an offer, since according to statistics, 500/600 people interviewed get offers. Yeah, how good does that make me feel after a big fat rejection after interview.I think I was trying to ignore it at first. When the letter came through the post, I knew that I had been rejected, since an offer would come through on a nifty computerised system called UCAS. It began to sink in after a few minutes and I found myself sobbing uncontrollably on the sofa, clutching this piece of paper and reading it over and over, not quite sure what I was looking for, but knowing that I needed to.What was worse was that my girlfriend was there and in my haze of confusion and depression I started saying things I really didn't mean. I told her to go home. That she didn't have to put up with me moping around the house and bursting into tears every so often. She wouldn't have any of it. I tr
Labels
2007-03-05 20:09:00
What makes someone a lesbian? A girl that dates and fucks girls (or wishes to, at least)? Because in that case I would be an extremely rampant lesbian, given my current girlfriend. But see, and here's the weird thing, apart from my baby, I don't feel the need to date or fuck any other girls, and surely that's a requirement to join the exclusive lesbian club?So perhaps I'm bisexual, but then again, that implies I'm attracted to other girls and unless Brody Dalle comes knocking, I wouldn't think twice about lesbian sex at all. Bicurious? Well, that just sounds like I'm playing around, and I love my baby more than anything. So what am I?This question has been going around my head for a while and its become more urgent since I started dating a girl, having previously thought that I was purely interested in cock. Evidently not.So, having done some research, I realise that I'm probably a 2 on the Kinsey Scale. Like that tells me anything. When was the last time anyone referred to the
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About Me
2007-03-03 14:47:00
My name is Regina, I am a 17 year old female rogue crab living in England.This blog was started when I couldn't write down my thoughts in my diary, for fear The Mother would find them and subsequently disown me for having such thoughts.She's homophobic.I'm not a lesbian.I do however, have a girlfriend.Confused? Welcome to my life.
A Mother's Timing
2007-03-02 23:18:00
Its night-time and somewhere in England, a girl is writing on her secret blog when -The Mother: "Would you like some tea?...Oooh what's that you're looking at? Did you write that?"Perhaps this anonymity thing is going to be a lot harder than I thought.
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Hi, my name is Regina and I'm a blog virgin.
2007-03-02 22:14:00
There's plenty of reasons why I shouldn't be doing this.Starting a blog I mean.For one, I have no idea what I'm doing. Or what I'm talking about. Or even who I'm talking to.I, however, do know that I have lots of overdue work that I should be fervently doing. Instead I find myself fervently procrastinating. And as if the usual social networking sites (damn you myspace and facebook!) aren't enough, I've gone ahead and created a BLOG. Go figure.
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My Theoretical Willy
2007-03-21 15:56:00
My penis is 5 inches.Or rather, it would be, if I had one.Is it just me, or is one of the favourite pasttimes of an all-girls school: "But how big would yours be?" I hated this game. I always lost, no matter who was playing, since my hands are, well, slightly challenged in the size department.And whenever I do lose, I always try and defend my imaginary ankle-spanker by saying such lines as:"Quality, not quantity.""Yes, well, I would blatently be better in bed anyway"Or my all-time fave, "It's not the length, it's not the size, it's how many times you make it rise."Honestly, how do you men manage to play the much scarier and more (potentially) embarrassing version of cock comparing?Update: I have found that after a bit of flexing about, my theoretical willy grows to 6 inches! Hooray!
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Alanis Would Be Proud
2007-03-25 16:51:00
A few weeks ago I talked about girls kissing girls "because they were drunk". And how I laughed at them all for being so naive. So it is with great irony that I tell you that last night, one of these girls was my girlfriend. And no, unfortunately the other girl was not me, but one of her other best friends. I'm not quite sure how to take it. I believe her when she says it meant nothing and had I been a guy, it probably wouldn't be a big deal (and quite possibly a turn on). But I'm obviously not a guy and it hurts that whilst I'm at home, my girlfriend is out kissing other people, regardless of who it is and what sex they are. So I'm now left with two questions.1) Is this classed as cheating?and 2) What am I supposed to do about it?
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, Proud
Officially on a Break
2007-03-26 21:36:00
Also, regarding this post, A (my girlfriend) and I are now temporarily on a break. She's off on holiday tomorrow for two weeks, and as much as I want to crawl back into her arms like it was before, I need some time to sort some thoughts out in my head.Do you know what Alanis would also be proud of?,It's our 9 month anniversary today.
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Unfinished Films
2007-03-26 21:34:00
There is nothing more annoying to me than not finishing a film and a few days ago, I was rudely interrupted from Chocolat, adding to my growing list of half-watched films, which includes:* American History X* Gladiator* Amelie* Catwoman* Coyote UglyThis now means that I'll probably never get to the end of Chocolat, simply because I can't be arsed to rent/buy a movie which I've already watched half of. Unless I know the last part is really good. Brownie points for anyone that can see the major flaw in that logic.
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, Films
I Bet She Says This To All the Girls...
2007-03-29 19:10:00
I live for awkward moments. There are times when my tongue seems to freeze and I can't quite articulate that witty response, and instead, blurt out something incomprehensible and/or wrong.I also seem to be somewhat of a parrot, in that I like to copy what someone else is saying, especially if they have said "thank you" or "well done". One incident I will always remember is when I went up to collect a certificate of some sort in a school assembly, and as the headmistress shook my hand and said, "Well done, Regina", I replied smoothly, "Well done to you too." Twat.Anyways, one of the sure-fire ways of making me feel awkward is to compliment me. My instinct is tend to brush them off and think they have some other ulterior motive. My friends tell me I'm being too paranoid. So now, I sometimes manage a small "err thanks" if I have my brain with me that day. Today I didn't.I was in charge of drinks at work and normally, I take their order and money, then go off to get their drink. So when
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10 Signs
2007-03-31 22:51:00
Even though A and I are on a break, her departure seems to have driven me more insane that I was before. Which is scary.10 Signs that You Miss Them So Much That You're Bordering on Obsessive/Insane1) You work out the time of the country they're in and think, ooh s/he'd be asleep right now. 2) Everything around you seems to remind you of them. They've even infiltrated your dreams.3) Despite vowing to do something productive, you spend hours watching useless videos on Youtube.4) You can't watch people kissing anymore, even if it's on TV.5) Same goes for sex.6) You are this close to sending them an e-mail, which you know they won't get until they get back, so you feel like you're talking to them. You don't quite realise this is the equivalent of talking to yourself. (No? Just Me?)7) Where the fuck is that postcard?!8) You're counting down the days until they're back and start planning what you will do together.9) You start talking to friends you haven't seen for ages, just so
This One's For You Hannah!
2007-04-03 18:37:00
So yes, since I nearly started going crazy, I have been trying to keep myself busy to take my mind of A.I think I'm doing quite well actually. At first, I was quite worried that I had been spending so much time with A that I had lost all my other friends but luckily, this doesn't seem to be the case. Yet.But one friend that I hadn't seen was B. Now here's where it gets complicated. B and I get on quite well. Ok, very well. We talk online quite a lot and there's the occassional bit of texting which has led to people to think he's attracted to me. A included. But I assured her that it was probably her imagination and I showed her all the texts from him so that she could see that there was nothing going on.A long time ago, there were suggestions for A, B and I to meet up, but they never happened. So before A left for her sunny holiday, I asked her if she would be ok if I was to meet up with B."Sure," She said. "As long as it's just meeting up as friends.""Of course." I replied.And
Read more: Hannah
Happy Clappy.
2007-04-04 23:39:00
Getting mail never fails to cheer me up, unless of course it's a small white envelope with "REJECTION" scrawled all over it.Luckily, there was nothing to be rejected from anymore so I was understandably very excited when I saw mail with my name on and a stamp saying "Next Day Delivery".Oooh.Next Day Delivery.Surely that's got to be a good thing. And I was right, because, it was an invite for interview! A proper job interview. For a job that I applied for a while back but never thought I would get. One that I would really love love love to do in my gap year and so naturally, I had thought I had no way in hell.But thankfully I was wrong (never thought I'd say that) and next friday, I shall be in my interview clothes kissing some serious arse.Wish me luck :)
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Because Cats are Rock and Roll
2007-04-07 18:48:00
You know that awful feeling you get when you come home from a party, look in the mirror, then realise you had broccoli in your teeth or there was some funky white stuff in your hair (toothpaste, for you dirty minded people) or that your skirt was tucked into your tights and that was the reason for the nice cold draught all evening? And that no one, not even your good friend who you hung around with all evening and inevitably got an eyeful of your arse, had the heart to tell you?Well, I have been listening to Girl All the Bad Guys Want by Bowling for Soup for years and years and one of my favourite lines of the song was:"Her cd changer's full of singers that are mad at their cat."Until today, when I was enlighted (by AZ Lyrics, no less) that the actual line goes:"Her cd changer's full of singers that are mad at their dad."Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and shout at some friends for not telling me this before and allowing me to make a complete twat of myself.
The fucking-hell-this-is-hot Word
2007-04-08 18:26:00
Forget The Girlfriend.Forget the lesbian sex.Forget the attraction to Brody Dalle and Angelina Jolie.How do I know I have tendencies?Because, my friend, I am developing a new found obession for this.That's right, The L Word. Oh how stereotypically lesbian you say. Well I don't care, the sex scenes on there are hot enough to get me squirming on my sofa and that's enough to get me hooked. So, the question is, which season is the best/should I watch first? Or should I just start from Season 1 and work my way through?And, of course, I'm kidding baby Angelina. You could never be forgotten ;)
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And the Postcard's Going to Read...
2007-04-10 11:10:00
So, it's early Tuesday morning (well, 10am but that's damn early considering it's the holidays) and I roll out of bed, hair messed up, eyes half closed and stumble my way into the bathroom. I blindly fumble around for my toothbrush and some toothpaste and start brushing my teeth when - Click.I stop. Is that?..It is..THANK GOD, THE POST IS HERE!And so the toothbrush falls into the sink with a clatter and I'm off leaping down the stairs, half-insane, white foam still in my mouth (Yes toothpaste again, for you dirty minded people). I get to the bottom of the stairs and quickly sort out the mail. Bank statements, confidential mail, charity donations...Come on, where is it?More bank statements, more confidential mail, ooo a catalog - shall have to look at that later.But no postcard.Nothing at all. Not a word. And it's been two weeks since she left already. Surely that's enough time to write and send a postcard? Either she hasn't sent one, or there's been problems with the post.So I
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, Going
Friday Thursday I'm In Love
2007-04-12 21:40:00
A, Le Girlfriend, is back! So went to see her today, literally a few hours after she arrived home and I was all happy happy happy, since I have missed her to the point of insanity in the 2 weeks that she's been gone.All of my old feelings of jealousy and annoyance at her for being with other people seemed to dissipate as soon as I saw her, which can only be a good thing, right? And there was kissing, just a lil bit, so I think that means our break has ended/is about to end.Of course, there will be talks between us and such, but for now, I'm wonderfully happy because I really think that this relationship is going to work after all. Plus she bought me a t-shirt and a toy from her faraway travels - true love? I think so too :)
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, Thursday
D.E.B.S
2007-04-13 17:31:00
Oi, over here. So yes, a few days ago in my boredom, I discovered the film "D.E.B.S." on youtube. And it is brilliant in my opinion. Ok, so if you're looking for a film that will make you think and question the meaning of life, this isn't it. But if your humour is a bit immature and you want to enjoy a film with shameless fun and a few laughs (and also short short skirts), then definitely go see it. After all, it's free. I suppose I should tell you what the film's all about. But I won't. You'll probably guess the plot within 5 minutes. And it's a bit silly anyway. So all I'm going to say is that there is an evil (also lesbian) mastermind and a group of top secret spies in school uniform (one of whom is very impressionable). Oh crap, I've given the plot away, haven't I?And another reason why you should see this film? Because you're bored. And it has a pretty decent soundtrack.
Of Girlfriends and Chavs
2007-04-15 17:47:00
Right, so, last night, I went out with A for a meal and afterwards, we ended up on a bench in town having the way overdue talk about our relationship. For any newcomers, A is my girlfriend. Sort of. We had a temporary break from each other when she went on holiday and this was our first proper where-are-we-going relationship talk since she's come back. Also to any newcomers, hello! Go on, put your feet up and get comfortable. Have a fag if you like. (NOTE: By fag, I mean cigarette. I do not keep a supply of gay men in my house for you to enjoy. Yet.)Now, where was I? Ah yes, so we're on this bench on a surprisingly warm night, my head on her shoulders, and the conversation of "us" comes up when -"Hiiii, do you have the time?" We both look up. Chavs. Two of them. Eugh."Erm, it was 10 o'clock last time I checked" I answer quickly, then turn back to A to continue our conversation."Thanks." I'm relieved, I thought there was going to be trouble. Maybe I shouldn't judge people so quic
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Just A Bit Amazing.
2007-04-16 19:23:00
There are several amazing things about today:1) A and I went to the park for a few hours, making full use of the newly arrived sunshine in Britain and the convenience of wearing a skirt.2) I bought chocolate. Thorntons chocolate no less.3) Back to college, but my first two lessons were cancelled, which meant I had two hours off to relax. 4) There was kissing. I don't care what the BBC says, number 2 does not beat number 4. Even if it is truffles that melt so deliciously on your tongue.5) I got this job! :D :D :D
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Cruel Intentions
2007-04-20 17:01:00
Do you ever get the feeling that you don't know what you want? That you convince yourself you definitely want one thing, but after further thought, you find yourself drawn to something else?Well, A and me have been great the last few days, but sometimes it just feels different from the way it was before the whole let's-go-on-a-break thing. Although sometimes it feels exactly the same. Also, and I told A this today, I keep thinking about how she would react if I kissed another girl, you know, as a "drunk thing". A thought it wouldn't be a problem when she did it, maybe it shouldn't be. Was I overreacting when I felt upset because she had kissed "just" another girl as a friend? Would she think the same if the tables were turned?I dunno, I was just wondering, to all the people who have been cheated on, have you ever felt the fleeting urge to cheat right back? Even thought you don't particularly want to cheat? Just so they would feel the way you felt? I know it's a horrible thought.
Silly Summer Ramblings
2007-04-19 19:56:00
Sitting on the grass with a friend:"Shit.""What?" I ask."I just wrote all over this paper.""So?""It's not mine and I'm not meant to.""Oh.""It's fine, I'll just photocopy it.""Erm surely that will just make two copies of your mistake.""Oh yeah..."Ooh, but summer is definitely creeping its way to Britain, which can only be good!
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, Summer
Work Work Work
2007-04-22 21:14:00
Anyone who has ever done A levels (the end of high school exams in Britain) will sympathise here when I say the word COURSEWORK.It is a bloody pain in the arse (ooh what a delightfully British sentence).For those of you who don't know, coursework is when you're set a piece of work, usually an essay of some sort, to do over a few weeks, which will count towards your final mark. "But that's piss easy!" Not quite. Coursework, at least for me, means rushing to finish a month's work in the week/day/hour before. And how many pieces of coursework do I have in in the next week or so?Three.Yes yes, I am screwed. P.S. A's postcard came through yesterday! Finally! It's only taken, oh, two weeks. British Mail must be extra efficient lately or something.
Hey There Delilah
2007-04-25 20:10:00
Hey there DelilahWhat's it like in New York City? I'm a thousand miles away But girl tonight you look so prettyMy voice was shaking as I sang it, her head was buried under my pillow because I told her that she couldn't watch me. I never sing. Well, not to real people anyway and this was by far the most nerve-racking thing I'd done in a while.It was no where near as good as I'd have liked it to be, my fingers kept messing up on the fretboard of my guitar and I ended up humming the tune when I forgot the words but at that point in time, everything - the way the afternoon sun streamed in through the window, me, her, my voice and the guitar - felt perfect.
Well This Should Keep You Going For a While
2007-05-07 15:38:00
You're thinking, what is this?! An *gasp* update? Ok so you probably weren't but I feel the need to justify my lack of blogging anyway. Well I'm coming up to the dreaded exam period, with my first exam in a week so my attention has been divided between that and a certain girl, and blogging has taken somewhat of a back seat...But back by popular demand (hi Hanna!), if only for a while, I decided to give you a bit more background to my parental situation, considering it's the inspiration for the name of this blog and a subject that I have barely touched upon.Most people know when they've "come out", (well unless you happen to be Janet Jackson) but for me, it's all a bit confusing. I don't quite identify with being a lesbian or bisexual, at least not yet so there has been no need to make any kind of "I'm here and queer" statement to my parents. Except...there's one minor thing - A, my girlfriend.Last summer, as me and A got closer and closer and the just-best-friends line was bei
Read more: Going
Work Hard, Play Hard
2007-05-10 23:00:00
Yesterday was a bit amazing. You know when you just know the sex is going to be so good and you count down the hours to when you'll be alone together?Well let's just say I have discovered whipped cream and baby likes it. A lot.
Read more: Work Hard
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