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The Guys’ Rules 2007-03-28 11:26:01
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At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys’ side of the story.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear “the rules”
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered “1″
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a prob Read more:Rules
Britney arrives at deal with K-Fed 2007-03-30 15:51:39
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US celebrity couple Britney
Spears and Kevin Federline have reached a settlement over child custody and finances in their divorce, a spokesman for Federline’s lawyer has said.
After a five-hour meeting in Los Angeles on Thursday with their lawyers present, Spears and Federline signed “a global settlement on all issues of their marriage,” said Michael Sands, a spokesman for Federline’s attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan.
Sands declined to elaborate on terms of the settlement, saying only that it covers child custody and financial matters. Spears’ lawyer, Laura Wasser, declined to comment.
The settlement comes more than a week after Spears checked out of a luxurious LA rehab centre.
During the singer’s stay at Promises Malibu Alcohol and Drug Rehab Treatment Facility, Spears and Federline shared joint custody of their two young sons under a temporary agreement.
When Spears filed for divorce on November 7, the pop star cited irreconcilable
Actress Berry Admits To Suicide Bid 2007-03-30 15:48:49
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Actress Halle Berry
has revealed she tried to commit suicide over her failed first marriage.
The 40-year-old admitted she was so miserable in the wake of her break-up with baseball player David Justice that she attempted to gas herself.
But she pulled out at the last minute after thinking of her mother Judith and deciding ending her life would be selfish.
“I was sitting in my car, and I knew the gas was coming when I had an image of my mother finding me,” Berry told Parade magazine.
“She sacrificed so much for her children, and to end my life would be an incredibly selfish thing to do.
“It was all about a relationship. My sense of worth was so low. I had to reprogramme myself to see the good in me.
“Because someone didn’t love me didn’t mean I was unlovable. I promised myself I would never be a coward again.”
Berry described her second marriage, to singer Eric Benet, as “really horrific”.
“We we Read more:Suicide
Banking glitch delays salaries 2007-03-30 15:44:21
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As many as 400,000 people will not be paid as expected today because of a problem with an electronic banking system.
The BACS system, which processes financial transactions, has been running slowly and has not sent out all payments in time, the payments association Apacs said.
Spokeswoman Sandra Quinn said affected workers should be paid by Monday. She advised concerned customers to contact their back immediately.
Banks are trying to ensure direct debits will be paid as usual. Such transactions can be refused if their payment means accounts will be overdrawn.
Ms Quinn said there was no pattern to the glitch
and any company that had been affected by the problem should have informed their employees.
Employees would be refunded charges if their accounts were overdrawn or if they breached their overdraft limit as a result of the problem, she added.
She advised people who needed cash for the weekend to withdraw it over the counter, as cash machines could refuse th
Fergie’s Dutchess Album 2007-03-30 15:43:05
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Black Eyed Peas’ glamorous talisman Fergie
performed an upbeat six-track dazzler of a session from her debut solo album The Dutchess
.
She’s serious and a little apprehensive about her solo work: “Solo success is scarier than success with Black Eyed Peas, because, with us, it’s like a big fraternity and I’m kind of like the little mascot girl,” she told us. “I definitely get nervous and it’s weird because [after] being on tour with the Peas for four years I’d call the stage ‘the office’”.
Fergie’s nerves weren’t apparent as she entertained the crew with note-perfect covers of 80s classics in between performances, or during the show, which was a full-on extravaganza complete with four fly-girl dancers, the Peas’ back-up band, Bucky Johnson and a last-minute addition of fellow Pea Will.I.Am who duetted with Fergie on two numbers.
Born Stacey Ferguson in California, Fergie was enc Read more:Album
New short Beck and sides 2007-03-30 15:41:04
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David Beckham stepped out on Thursday night with a functional short back and sides - albeit with a dash of flair.
The sporting superstar dressed more as an English country gentleman than Los Angeles celebrity for the Sport Industry Awards 2007 at Old Billingsgate in east London.
In a black tuxedo and open-necked white shirt with black cravat, the only suggestion of his status as fashion icon was the slightly long cut of hair across his forehead.
And in a move that will no doubt dismay hairdressers everywhere, he seemed to have steered clear of blonde highlights - this time.
He looked content to leave fashion to wife Victoria Beckham, who accompanied him to the awards dressed in a short black dress and heels.
The annual event celebrates commercial achievement in UK sport.
Beckham’s hair has always been watched closely by followers of fashion.
His new styles have been copied around the globe, among fashionistas and schoolboys alike.
In March 2000, he
Harry Potter Book Revealed 2007-03-29 15:36:37
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The cover of JK Rowling’s final HarryPotter
book has been revealed. The cover of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows sees the young wizard lunging over a pile of treasure with his fellow Hogwarts pupils Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. The best-selling Potter book franchise has sold 325 million books to date and spawned a movie franchise that includes four of the 20 top-selling films of all time. JK Rowling has hinted that two major characters will die in the final book. Speculation that Harry himself may be among the fatalities has been rife ever since.
But the back-cover, unveiled by publishers Bloomsbury and poured over by Potter fans, is giving nothing away. It simply states that, “Harry has been burdened with a dark, dangerous and seemingly impossible task: that of locating and destroying Voldemort’s remaining Horcruxes.”
“Never has Harry felt so alone, or faced a future so full of shadows.” The cover illustration for
Spotting Stress The Tell Tale Signs 2007-03-29 15:34:47
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Top 10 Stress Warning Signs
Stress works in mysterious ways. Did you know humming, excessive blinking, itching and dandruff are part of our system’s reaction to tension?
Perhaps your body’s trying to tell you take time out. So, listen-up and get to know the signs so you can stress-proof your life.
BLINKING
Increased blinking is telltale evidence that we are feeling the pressure, either emotionally or physically. When in a relaxed state, the average blink rate is around 15-30 times a minute but under stress this can increase to up to 70 times a minute. The response is known as the Nixon Effect after American president Richard Nixon, whose blinking escalated to suspicious levels when under pressure during the Watergate scandal.
TEETH GRINDING
Nocturnal teeth grinding is thought to be a way of relieving tension. Clenching or grinding teeth is a recognised response to anxiety, however, most ‘grinders’ are unaware they have this symptom as the condition Read more:Spotting
Smoking Ban 2007-03-29 15:01:42
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One in five working men’s clubs in England and Wales fears it will be forced to close as a result of the smoking ban coming into force within the next few weeks, according to a poll.
Of 560 clubs surveyed for the BBC, more than four out of five (83%) thought takings would fall as smokers stayed away.
And 20% said they believed their club was “quite likely” or “very likely” to close.
The ban will start in Wales on April 2 and in England on July 1 and will prohibit smoking in pubs, clubs and enclosed public spaces, even if the area is only open to private members.
The Government originally wanted to exempt private clubs, but was overruled by the House of Commons.
The general secretary of the Club and Institute Union, Kevin Smyth, said the ban came on top of an increasing burden of red tape on clubs.
He told the BBC Radio 4 Today programme: “Gaming permits, extra increases in licensing fees and now another set of legislation w Read more:Smoking
, Smoking Ban
Soul MAtes, Is He The One? 2007-03-29 15:00:00
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It starts with sex
In fact, it ends with sex too. Yes, yes, you have to like him of course you do! But if the sex isn’t good, you can work really hard at it and give it some time but ultimately it might never get any better. That could be bad or it may not be that important to you.
For many relationships, it’s the glue that binds everything else together, and whether it’s working or not is generally a good indicator of what is happening in the relationship.
Be scrupulous about this part of your relationship - is this the man you want to spend the rest of your sex life with? Does he do it for you? Does he like what you like and vice versa?
Up close and personal
You should have this one in the bag early on. It’s a good starting point for finding out if he’s the one. Let’s face it, your friends have seen you through the bad heartbreaks, they know your good points and your really bad ones too. They know what is good for you.
Test the
Robbie To Rejoin Take That? 2007-04-02 16:38:42
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Former Take That member Robbie
Williams will reunite with his old band mates, insists Jason Orange.
Williams has so far snubbed the opportunity to rejoin Orange, Gary Barlow, Mark Owen and Howard Donald - who are experiencing huge success since reforming last year.
But the 36-year-old is convinced Williams is tempted by the success Take That have enjoyed second time around - their new album is top of the UK charts - and won’t be able to resist the opportunity.
Orange says, “Maybe it’s my romanticism but I think if we do future albums it’s inevitable Rob will sing with us.”
Women’s Clothing
Posh Faces TV Axe 2007-04-02 16:31:41
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Posh “faces TV axe”
Uh-oh! Victoria Beckham is today facing possible humiliation in front of her soon-to-be Hollywood neighbours, thanks to rumours her new fly-on-the-wall show is set to be axed before it’s even been shown. The problem? Apparently, the footage shot so far just isn’t interesting enough for discerning US TV-viewers. “All that’s been filmed is Victoria house-hunting and her quest to find schools for the kids, which hardly makes scintillating viewing,” says a source. “David and Victoria are not well known out there and they haven’t yet been able to convince any celebrity friends to come on.”
Quite frankly, dear readers, we don’t believe a word of this scurrilous tale. Posh and Becks are well-known in the US. In fact, they’re known throughout Hollywood as “the soccer-ball guy and his bra-less wife”. They’re positively bosom pals with Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, P.Diddy,
Klass Pregnancy News 2007-04-02 16:28:45
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Model and singer Myleene Klass is expecting her first child, it has been announced.
The musician, who found fame with reality TV band Hear’Say, is “ecstatically happy” at the news, her spokesman said.
Klass, 28, will now postpone her November wedding to fiance Graham Quinn, 30, until next year.
In a statement, she said: “Graham and I are ecstatically happy. We’ve always wanted a family of our own.
“I am truly delighted and know Graham will make a fantastic father.”
Her spokesman added: “They are engaged but not going to get married this year now, probably next year. They are going to have the baby first.”
The classically trained singer first hit the headlines as part of band Hear’Say when the band won TV reality show Popstars in 2001.
More recently she appeared in the jungle game show I’m A Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! in which she came second.
She has also hosted various TV and radio Read more:Pregnancy
knowing me knowing you. 2007-04-04 21:58:29 Heres an article i found after hearing the news about more nanny state spyware, Its such a shame that we cannot purchase something that will quarintine the snoops and banishs them to the darkest place in the land, simular to what we use on our computers would be great. We will soon hav our bedrooms monitored and the arrival of the bottom inspectors as in viz magazine, do they know something we don’t and could
b for bacon really be a pre event image of john prescott?
or how about johnny fartpants ? tony blairs very full of wind too!!
Have we got a spyware doctor in da house?
enough of my ramblngs here’s the real stuff.
We are the most spied-upon nation in the world, with some of us caught on camera hundreds of times a day. Incredibly, no one seems to mind investigated by Brendan O’Neill action man extrordinaire.
Getting into the CCTV control centre for Westminster without an official escort would challenge even James Bond. As instructed, I arrive at the Coventry Stre Read more:knowing
Rare striped rabbit spotted 2007-04-05 13:37:13
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Rare striped rabbit spotted
One of the world’s rarest rabbits was spotted in Indonesia for just the third time in the past 35 years.
The sighting underscores the importance of conserving the region’s threatened rain forests, a conservation group said.
Grainy images shot by a camera trap at night show the small Sumatran striped rabbit nibbling on forest undergrowth in the Bukit Barisan National Park, said the World Conservation Union.
The rare species of rabbit was last photographed in 2000, and the last sighting by a scientist was in 1972.
“This rabbit is so poorly known that any proof of its continued existence at all is great news, and confirms the conservation importance of Sumatra’s forests,” Colin Poole, director of the Wildlife Conservation Society’s Asia Programme, said in a statement.
The rabbit is only known to exist in the forests of Sumatra, and thought to be the only representative of its genus.
It is listed a
Benefit cheats face ‘lie detectors’ 2007-04-05 13:35:28
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Benefit cheats face &lsquo
;lie detectors
’
Lie detector technology is being piloted by the Government in a fresh bid to crack down on benefit cheats, Works and Pensions Secretary John Hutton has announced.
Voice-risk analysis (VRA) software, which is already used by the insurance industry, will be used to help identify suspect cases at the start of a claim.
It analyses changes in a caller’s voice giving an indication of risk levels. Changes are measured against the caller’s “normal” voice which is recorded at the beginning of the call, ensuring that nervousness or shyness is not a trigger.
Callers will hear a standard message before they speak alerting them that the technology is being used. If benefit staff assess the answers as suspicious, the caller may be asked to provide further evidence to support their claim. Final decisions will still rest with staff.
The system is being piloted by Harrow Council, in north London, for housin
‘Boyfriend’ exposed as woman 2007-04-05 13:26:48
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&lsquo
;Boyfriend’ exposed
as woman
The “boyfriend” of a 14-year-old girl, who lived with her and her family for more than a year, was in fact a 30-year-old woman, police in Seattle said.
Lorelei Corpuz posed as a 17-year-old orphan to gain the family’s trust, then beat and molested the teenager, hitting her and twice biting her on the back, officers said.
Corpuz was charged with two counts of third-degree child rape and one count of third-degree child molestation.
Police said Corpuz was arrested on Sunday after an officer checked her vehicle, parked at a petrol station, to see whether it was stolen. The check pulled up an outstanding traffic warrant under an alias, Mark Villanueva.
The 14-year-old was also in the vehicle.
“She indicated it was her boyfriend,” Goetz said. “That obviously piqued the concern of the officer.”
Although Corpuz had sexual contact with the girl, “the suspect never let victim
Clarkson’s sledgehammer stunt upsets Malaysians 2007-04-05 13:25:07
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Jeremy Clarkson
has sparked an international incident after he offended the Malaysian government with a sledgehammer stunt
he performed on Top Gear.
The always outspoken Clarkson called the Malaysian-made Perodua Kelisa car the “worst in the world” and “unimaginative junk, with no soul, no flair and no passion”.
The BBC’s resident motor mouth then bashed the Perodua Kelisa with a sledgehammer and hung it from a crane before blowing the car up.
Although the programme originally aired two years ago, Clarkson’s actions provoked outrage in Malaysia this week, and he was attacked in the country’s parliament.
Senator Datuk Abdul Raman Suliman said: “The negative comments made by Jeremy Clarkson were his personal opinion. Perodua has been exporting the Kelisa since 2001 without similar comments,” he told the Malaysian newspaper Dewan Rakyat.
“He is like a soccer commentator, he does not play the game but know Read more:Malaysians
Wags Boutique 2007-04-05 12:19:00
Episode 10
WWW.J-LOU.COM
http://wags.itv.com/episode.php
Tuesday, 03 April
In just three weeks one of the boutiques will be declared the winners and get rewarded with the profits from both stores.
But who will be top of the table?
With Better Half in the lead by four wins to three, the battle is on and the girls (without Nicola T who is ill at home) gather at a Soho venue to get briefed on their latest challenge.
As they are greeted by Kitty Klaw, their faces say it all! Dressed in corset and nipple tassels, Kitty is an international, burlesque performer and the challenge this week is totally theatrical and perfect for any latent diva. It is – to model, perform and auction burlesque garments, watched by the prominent movers and shakers of the burlesque world. The winners will be the boutique that makes the most profit from the auction and the burlesque collection they’ll be stocking on Saturday.
As the managers for this week are revealed (Charlotte – Better Half and Krys Read more:Boutique
, Wags Boutique
Bafta Red Carpet Fashion 2007-04-10 15:35:22 Bafta Red CarpetFashion
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Penelope Cruz
Anne-Marie Duff & James McAvoy
Emily Blunt
Emily Watson
Eva Green
Sarah Harding
Joely Richardson
Dame Judi Dench
Kylie Minogue
Laura Bailey
Meredith Ostrum
Helen Mirren
Myleene Klass
Naomie Harris
Rebecca Hall
Sienna Miller
Thandie Newton
Toni Colette
Kate Winslet
2007-04-12 01:29:45 Fergie feat Charlotte Church - 9 to 5 - www.FergieBR.com
Just for us hard working girls
Eddie Be The Father Or Not 2007-04-11 17:07:21
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Big Scary Baby Fight
Now that Mel B has given birth to her second child, Fortuna Daphne Bay (that’s her name, not a Florida holiday resort), the battles with ‘daddy’ Eddie
Murphy look set to kick off, big style.
According to sources close to the former Spice Girl, Mel has named Eddie on the birth certificate, despite his very public denial that he is the father of the baby, last year.
With a likely DNA test imminent, at least one of the pair are going to end up red faced very soon.
“Mel has no doubt Eddie is the father and she wanted to make the point,” a source close to Mel told the Mirror newspaper. “She just feels that he will have to accept responsibility at some point and there was no need for him to be so dismissive of their relationship.”
Can’t we all just get along?!
http://www.j-lou.com/section/0/corset-tops/ladies-tops Read more:Father
2007-04-11 17:05:10
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Robbie Was A Bit Of Rough Says Tara
It-Girl Tara Palmer-Tomkinson has spoken out about her 2006 fling with Robbie Williams - and revealed just what attracted her to the bad boy singer.
“I have a soft spot for the working class,” snooty Tara tells OK! Magazine. “I think he liked a bit of posh totty. I hate posh people because I grew up with them.”
“He’s still a huge part of my life. We’re not in contact as much though, as he’s in LA. Robbie just wants a mother figure, someone who will make him a good cup of tea.”
I suppose, being posh, he’ll have to make do with an Earl Grey when he’s around Tara.
http://www.j-lou.com/section/0/clubbing-tops/ladies-tops
Anna’s Baby’s Father Confirmed 2007-04-11 17:03:37
WWW.J-LOU.COM
One paternity mystery that has been resolved is the identity of late Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter Dannielyn’s father.
After months of legal wranglings, court battles and public claims to Dannielyn, the real dad was revealed to be her ex-lover Larry Birkhead, and not current custodian, Howard K Stern, who was named on her birth certificate.
“I hate to be the one to say this, but I told you so. My baby’s coming home soon,” said Larry in a dignified court statement, while Howard remained silent for the first time since Anna Nicole’s untimely death earlier this year.
Dannielyn will soon be reunited with her father, who will now take full custody of the tot.
And if you’re wondering why these men were so keen to fight over Dannielyn’s paternity, it might have something to do with the £240million she is set to inherit from her mother’s massive estate.
http://www.j-lou.com/section/0/evening-tops/ladies-tops
Read more:Father
, Confirmed
Wags Boutique 2007-04-11 16:40:41
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Episode 11
http://wags.itv.com/episode.php
Tuesday, 10April
The score is 4-4 all and this week, the challenge takes the girls abroad. But, they’ve not been told where they’re travelling to, who they’re meeting and what is in store?
As Jadene and Charlotte (Better Half) and Krystelle and Michaela (Bows) gather at Heathrow, they don’t know where they’re going, who they’re meeting and what’s in store.
But all this changes quite quickly as they get their tickets to Malaga and are taken to the house of PR legend Max Clifford.
Their challenge this week is to create their own PR stunt and make it into the papers this week.
Back in London, there is another twist as the girls discover who will be managing the boutiques and it isn’t any of them!
As they stand outside waiting for their new managers, speculation is rife and Better Half admit that they don’t want a new manager.
But this changes when they discover who their celebrity manager is – Read more:Boutique
, Wags Boutique
2007-04-14 23:38:06 Topless girl in resturant
OH WELL …..
2007-04-17 09:59:43 maroon 5 - makes me wonder
great song
Kerry to wed again 2007-04-16 15:56:54
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Kerry
to wed again
Brush off your posh hats and start defrosting those Iceland sausage rolls… Kerry Katona has announced plans to marry again - just two months after tying the knot with cabbie-turned-charmer Mark Croft in Gretna Green. Confused? Don’t be! Apparently, Kerry was so disappointed with the low-key Valentine’s Day ceremony, she’s vowed to do it all again very soon - but this time she’s taking all her friends and family to the super-swanky Villa Tibero in Marbella. Oooh - classy! But hang on, we hear you cry, we thought Kerry was currently embroiled in public feuds with just about every friend and relative she’s ever had? After all, she’s famously fallen out with mum Sue, vowed never to speak to one-time best pal Jordan again - and branded ex-husband Brian “evil”. So who’s actually going to be invited to this wedding? “It will be a huge do,” insists a source close to Kerry and Mark. &ldqu
Madonna to adopt again? 2007-04-16 15:55:14
WWW.J-LOU.COM
Madonna
to adopt
again?
Granny Gossip is today hanging her head in shame - and has been confined to office duties until after the weekend. Indeed, as we write, she’s filing away pictures of Michelle Heaton in a dark corner of our Penge-based headquarters. Why? Well, on Wednesday, she was supposed to be keeping tabs on Madonna - but came back early, saying the Queen of Pop had taken baby David to Africa. So when we were wandering around Mayfair yesterday afternoon, we were shocked to see Madge bowling up to her gym as usual. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Malawi?” we said. “Who the hell are you?” she replied (possibly).
However, Madonna’s “people” insist she will be flying out to Malawi very soon - possibly on Sunday - so she can oversee the building of a children’s health centre. (So she’s a construction engineer now, too? Who knew?) But rumour has it the 48-year-old mum-of-three has another reason fo Read more:adopt again
Is Jordan prettier than Posh 2007-04-16 15:53:37
Is Jordan
prettier than Posh?
WWW.J-LOU.COM
Oooh - we’ve hardly slept a wink all night. We’ve been tossing and turning, trying to work out the definitive answer to the burning question of the day. You know the one: who’s prettiest out of Jordan and Victoria Beckham? Hell, if only someone could put us out of our misery and give us the final word on the subject… Step forward, Peter Andre…
As you know, Jordan and Peter are currently taking Tinseltown by storm (or, erm, raising a few eyebrows in Hollywood) during a week-long stay to promote their fly-on-the-wall reality series. Last night, the pair finally got to appear on US TV - and gave a short interview to entertainment show, Extra. Naturally, they were asked about possible reality TV rivalry with Posh and Becks - and at first, Jordan hilariously played dumb by pretending not to have heard of the Beckhams. It was then that Peter stepped in with his well-thought-out opinion on the differences between
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