Owner: Got Funny URL:http://www.gotfunny.leroysjokes.com Join Date: Sun, 06 Jul 2008 09:14:39 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Humor,It's not just a past time anymore Site statistics:Click here
Kid Choked 2008-08-20 12:44:47
A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is
holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going
blue in the face. The dad realizes the boy has swallowed
the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a
blue business suit is sitting at a coffee [...]
The 36 Rules of Life 2008-08-18 06:15:12
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If [...] Read more:Rules
Very Sorry 2008-08-17 15:48:00
We are back on , very sorry for any
inconvience. We had to
swap servers, and of course it never works
like you plan!
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Forrest Goes To Heaven 2008-08-15 08:29:52
The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven
.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However,
the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
St. Peter says, “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see
you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, [...]
THE SOUTH — YOU GOTTA LOVE IT 2008-08-14 04:41:57
Tennessee The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he
decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her
into his office and said, ‘You graduated from the University of Tennessee
and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much
would you take off?’The [...]
Husbands Letter To His Wife 2008-09-10 08:38:01 Dear Wife:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good.
I’ve been a good husband to you for seven years and I have nothing to
show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called
to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last
straw. [...] Read more:Husbands
, Letter
The Dinner Party 2008-09-03 08:37:39 Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price. The motorcycle is missing a seal, though, so whenever it rains Steve has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.
Steve’s girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents one evening. He drives his [...] Read more:Dinner
, Party
Hurricane Gustav (Please Help) 2008-08-31 19:02:10 Having gone through hurricane Katrina, I would like to ask anyone who is financialy as well as and or mentaly capable of helping the people getting ready to endure a great catastrophy again, to please step foward and let others know. While our soldiers are fighting for our freedom we have to continue to battle the [...] Read more:Please
The Bull 2008-08-31 07:25:39 Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need
To purchase a bull from the stockyard in Ft Worth so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600 left. Upon [...]
Great Living Will 2008-08-25 08:11:09 I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.
If a reasonable amount [...] Read more:Great
, Living
The Divorce! 2008-09-22 06:21:06 A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 milesper hour.
The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
“I know we’ve been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.”
The wife says nothing,Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her [...]
The Worst Job (Language-NSFW) 2008-09-18 19:20:30 This one is a little old, but funny as hell. Did you ever wonder who is on the other end?
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RedNeck Pickup Lines 2008-09-16 08:36:32 1. Did you fart, cause you blew me away.
2. Are your parents retarded, ’cause you’re sure special.
3. My Love for you is like diarrhea … I can’t hold it in.
4. Do you have a library card, ’cause I’d like to sign you out.
5. Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself [...] Read more:Pickup
, Lines
DON’T SKIP CHURCH 2008-10-14 09:31:37 Rev. Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.
So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and asked himto do the morning service for him that day. As soon as he hung up the phone,he headed [...]
The Nozzle 2008-10-03 11:38:54 In many ways, this is so true, you be the judge!! Enjoy
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