Owner: Of Foolish Wisdom, Moonshine and Melancholy URL:http://voice-in-the-water.blogspot.com Join Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2007 13:39:26 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A blog of reflections and philosophies, often containing the moonshine of hope, tainted with melancholy from the author's past. This is the blog of a hopeless romantic, a cynical bitch, and a scientific philosopher. Site statistics:Click here
Something I once wanted to say 2007-03-18 13:05:00 Erratum: I'm posting this online, not because I want to hurt or humiliate you, but because I care enough to tell you off. Please don't take this in any offensive way because I voice this out, not to you but to everyone reading this. Besides, the approach of this message would make more sense for public viewing. ~+~+~+~I don't recall if I did a post like this before, but here goes. Short and simple:I admit that there's this point in a typical adolescent's life when that person would find one's self somewhat out of place because a lot of people around him/her are "fortunate enough to have found requited love." I myself went through that bout of questioning, which eventually deepened into insecurity, because of how those feelings would make me feel. Well, this does not include undoubtedly fortunate individuals who can acquire relationships as instant as cup noodles can be that also end as quickly as porn sites pop up on the internet.But anyway, back to the issue. Sometimes, circums Read more:wanted
From Twistedkai 2007-03-18 07:04:00 @Twistedkai: thanks :D heehee!She tagged me so... The rules are simple:1. Choose five blogs randomly from your blogroll.2. For each blog, choose at least one entry (you could add more) which is your favorite post by this blogger.3. Include a link to this post and explain why you like it.4. The chosen five bloggers are considered tagged and they will also have to do the same in their blogs.Cookie 's posts are really great! Well, what can you expect from someone who won Reader's Digest 2007 writing contest [Topic: Best Friend]? Here's a random sample post.If you want something straight to the point which screams out not bitchy but "So damn, friggin' true!" well, here's Inkblotter with "Top 10 Ways Parents Lose All Respect""I am complicated person. Yet, I believe I am fairly simple one way or another." Hm... Another nominee to the 2007 Philippine Blog Awards, Khalel's entries are perhaps too true to be real. :) Like for example...Well, this blog goes around but this post is
101st post and the rest... 2007-03-16 16:47:00 101st post and all I can say is that, thank goodness that school's finally over with only clearance to settle.~+~+~+~The week before this week was spent on exams and cramming some requirements, begging and this pitiful, sick feeling brought about by nostalgia and everything I have done with my life this schoolyear. The outcome may not have been perfect but at least I'm not leaving nor growing up empty-handed.And backwards we go...~+~+~+~When you're not satisfied with what you have, what do you do?Do you yearn for more?Do you tend to drown yourself in the excessive quantities of whatever used to satisfy you?Or would you empty all that load you're carrying to find what you're missing?For three years, I tried answering my own question with the first two ways. Yet the more I desired, the more empty I felt. Seemingly though, it was like fire, never ceasing, despite the voluminous quantities of water to quench it. In the end I was left with letting go, devoid of what attachments and sen
Family is Not Just a Six-Lettered Word 2007-03-10 12:37:00 Currently feeling: an undoubtedly bad feeling in my gutCurrently listening to: Alay by ImagoCurrently reading: some nominated personal blogs to the PBAGoing back home to Bataan is something I hardly look forward to. Growing up in the city made me accustomed to the comforts of technology and the instant lifestyle, but of course so was the isolation and the loneliness in the package of City Life.Obviously, returning to see familiar faces and the feeling of home is something I don't value as much as other people do. For as long as I can remember, I've never thought twice of elevating the value of family despite culture and social standards. It may be pride and my lack of gratitude for everything they have done for me, as well as the sacrifices for my personal whims. It may be the fact that I have detached myself that I don't want to open up wounds I myself have created. It may be still the indifference and the apathy towards human relations and my fears of excessive attachments, but wh Read more:Family
Maturity Quiz: From gian from sir joey 2007-03-09 15:52:00 My supposed mental age. We'll see how truly mature I am...[x] I know how to make a pot of coffee[ ] I can do my own laundry[ ] I can cook for myself [i wish][ ] I do my chores after being told once[x] I always do my homework/work[x] I actually enjoy intellectual conversations[x] I think politics are exciting or somewhat[x] My parents & grandparents most of the time have better things to say than my peers [if teachers are not peers then this counts]total: 5[x] I show up for school/work every day unless I’m sick[x] I always carry a pen/pencil in my pocket/purse[x] I’ve never gotten a ticket.[ ] I watch talk shows and point out the incredibility of it all[x] I know what incredibility means without looking it up[x] I drink black coffeetotal: 5[x] I know how to run the dish washer and/or do the dishes[x] I can count in more than one language[x] When I say I’m going to do something, I do it.[ ] I mow the lawn[ ] I wash my car[x] I can make adults laugh without being stupid[ ] I Read more:Maturity
I Fall Behind. The Second Hand Unwinds 2007-03-02 14:18:00 I just realized that it's already the end of hell week. Funny how I only realized that now because of the following events: Monday - Somewhat out of place and unexpectedly, feeling down. Perhaps it was because I just remembered that the Seniors were closer to graduating than I expected. Tuesday - In STR, we almost destroyed the distillation apparatus partly because of negligence, lack of self replicates and the time it takes to travel to two adjacent rooms [approximately 47 seconds] separated by a door. In Filipino, let's just say that I could hope for more.Wednesday - breakdown at the guidance center because the STR group didn't finish the work as scheduled and planned; I couldn't think of much to help out in the physics Goldberg's machine; and my emotional condition was far from acceptable.Thursday - Parental / custodian / security negotiations to finish the GM, open forum regarding the F3 teleplay and a turnaround.Friday - No sleep. Chem quiz turned long exam which I know I Read more:Second
Consistently Inconsistent 2007-02-24 12:57:00 It took more than three years to temporarily understand the loneliness, the pain and the emptiness that was once eating away the defunct soul that is mine. As of this moment in time, a turbulently peaceful moment where the doubt and the anger seem to have subsided I feel this calmness in my own solitude... As if none of the idiosyncrasies of my actions and the instability of my emotions were never there to begin with.But I know it will never be like this with everyone else. At some degree, I know that I cannot be forgiven for the hurt I have caused nor for my painful ways of exposing the truth which couldn't be accepted. Those who may forgive me will may not take me back with open arms anymore.There will be those who will not see that my storm is over. There will be those who will have only started with their journey against the crashing tides and the stormy weather at a point in their lives when everything begins to hang onto perilous threads. The rest may never even go through the s
Prom Post: Censored 2007-02-18 10:59:00 Hm... The more detailed post can be found on Vox and LJ [if you are my friend there.]It was held at the Isla Ball at EDSA Shangri-La from 18:00 to 1:00 [but in reality from 19:00 to 2:00]. My mom, my brother and I were checked in at 14:00 and waited. Hehe... I wanted to swim but for good reasons I didn't.Back to prom...The food was okay. The cotillion was better than I expected, though the dancefloor for them was tad too small.Honestly the band was fairly good. Bloomfields was great, with their oldies style of music and their getup. XPFrankly speaking, nothing beats the dancing. Even if I lost focus and wasn't able to dance well... And even if I got to dance with someone I just met for the first time thanks to Sir de Ocampo.I have to thank all I had the opportunity to dance with like JC and the Adelfa people, Zim, Edi, Kuya Louie, Sir de Ocampo, Kuya [whose name I have unfortunately forgotten but XP], Ma'am R, Ma'am Fajilan, Sir Alfer, Ma'am Yuhico and Kuya Ivan. As well as every Read more:Censored
Growing Up 2007-02-14 14:54:00 I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. That's a given for the simplest of reasons: You don't need one day in a year as an excuse to profess one's feelings.But of course, we're different and each unique. Valentine's day is in itself an adaptation to the times and to ones emotions.TBC.~+~+~+~Well, I don't know how to react. Today was the last day of the Achievement Tests [which were Long Exams in disguise] and of course, just another regular half day for me.A while ago I passed by the front lobby at the guard's desk; the guard asked my name and told me that there was a package for me at the guard house. So foolish me went and walked to the guard house and to my surprise the guard there told me that there was a bouquet of flowers for me inside. When I went inside to get them, well, you know. XPWho on earth gives 40++ roses on Valentine's Day?With no card?Leaving it at the guardhouse gambling the recipient's presence? And tells the guard NOT to give away his/her/its name, section an Read more:Growing
Existentialism and Life's Essentials 2007-02-08 14:45:00 Current song[s]: Earth to Bella, Part 1 by Incubus, Black and White People by Matchbox TwentyCurrent mood[s]: something better compared to the last 4 years… :pCurrent read[s]: Existentialism and Human Emotions by Jean-Paul SartreLets start off with the library. For the first time in many book-borrowing months I returned a book on time. I know it’s not much of a big deal but for someone who gets her stipends deducted for forgetting to return a book for a month, that is an improvement. Also, something new I learned: the library has books on existentialism.~+~+~+~Why existentialism?To start off, English 3 discussions were on Philippine Literature. We were done discussing gender roles, and gender perceptions and here we are at existentialism. To me, this is the philosophy I am most at ease with. Pessimistic yes, but it makes much more sense at the end of it all if one has found an identity most suited [at least for the time being].It beats being a post-modernist, trying to balance out Read more:Essentials
Pre-Prom Rant [Edit] 2007-02-07 01:07:00 Feeling better, Paula?As of this week, this is the most commonly asked question for me.~+~+~+~Before I delve into the details, which I won't, here's the pre-prom rantHm, since it's one week before the prom, I will have to say that I have no intentions of looking forward to it. It's just after all, a formal dinner and dance. Nothing more.So why put so much emphasis on it?Well, for one, the media, movies, magazines, books and et al contain such details on the importance of prom on a person's life. How it's gonna be the most important event of a teenager's life. How it marks an important step in growing up. How important it is as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. How having a date and all that overrated shizzle makes everything perfect. How that night is going to change everything.But it's just a modern ritual of maturity! A rite of passage we created as a social constuct, for Christ's sake!Maybe I just feel bitter about what happened last YMSAT. I mean I just wanted company who
Aruga 2 2007-02-03 03:37:00 Crap. The water is cold in the dorm. I guess it's due to the overdue change in the wind. :) Jackets anyone?~+~+~+~Today was the last day of the Aruga Exhibit at Powerplant Mall in Rockwell.Hm... I guess it's the fact that the whole friday was spent on sitting at talks listening to deans and professors from the top universities advertizing their school's good points and its edge over the competition just made me look forward to the last performance and the dinner together with most of the members of the choir and the other performers.After listening to all the speakers, my decision to aim for medicine still stands adamant. But the reason isn't for the monetary profits but instead for the psychic rewards. [Apparently, Ma'am Yu-Hico's influence on me is increasing.] I know that engineering is still a possible option but the impact on someone's life as a doctor is more felt [at least if you're the patient] than being designing office tools suit for the Filipino or infrastructure o
Tarot Card 2007-02-01 12:59:00 You are The High PriestessScience, Wisdom, Knowledge, Education.The High Priestess is the card of knowledge, instinctual, supernatural, secret knowledge. She holds scrolls of arcane information that she might, or might not reveal to you. The moon crown on her head as well as the crescent by her foot indicates her willingness to illuminate what you otherwise might not see, reveal the secrets you need to know. The High Priestess is also associated with the moon however and can also indicate change or fluxuation, particularily when it comes to your moods.What Tarot
Card are You?Take the Test to Find Out.「おわり」~+~ Read more:Tarot Card
Maybe had I told the truth and accepted the conseq... 2007-01-31 13:37:00 Maybe had I told the truth and accepted the consequences of my fault, things would have been better.Sure for a while I'd feel bad because of several reasons, but in the end I'd be free of the guilt brought about by lying. And also I would know that though I'd get told off, I'd feel better about it without going all wallflower on a few people.~+~+~+~'o3 alumni cam over a while ago to enlighten us Inkwell members and Inkspots on the club's history, why we should keep it alive, its future and Pisay life tips.Maybe the reason I stayed up really late today was for this. Kuya Carl's pep talk on high school life's impermanence, uncertainty, and everything we take into too much importance and too little of it just knocked back sense into me.I suppose a little reminder or two never really hurt. I guess that's what I really needed. "College isn't the real world because it is a box that contains High School's box. When the real world unfolds, sometimes you'll just be too shocked to se Read more:Maybe
Aruga 2007-01-26 15:10:00 Today was the last day of YMSAT. Other than my issues of academic performance [or the lack of it], it was okay.~+~+~+~At the Math Unit, I had a can of coffee for lunch with Ma'am Yu-Hico, Kuya Ivan and Kelsy. Over the span of time I spent with them, I realized something which made me appreciate the artist in me. :)Later, some of the us who'll be performing Rent early this incoming SY gave a not-so-ready sample... At least Yana's ready.~+~+~+~Rockwell, some time past 5.We had snacks at downstairs before singing.Lets just say that at this instance, I saw both the beauty and the ugliness of art.About our performance in the choir? Well, just ask Ma'am Crisostomo.. X3 Basta, the most I will say is that Himig Agham performed at the opening ceremonies and will perform at the closing ceremonies on the 2nd of February.I believe the invitation will explain everything else.Well, there won't be any Starbucks and cold drinks for quite a while. :p 「おわり」~+~
Student Teacher 2007-01-25 06:55:00 Hm... I'm feeling better over yesteday. Despite the rejection of yesterday, I'm still happy.The joy of teaching.I'm at PNU Manila, teaching, or at least helping in teaching RoboLab. Ma'am Xavier, Ma'am Regaya and Kuya Pabs are here also. Beats staying at MPPA, listening to symposia and singing at intermissions. ~+~+~+~「おわり」~+~ Read more:Student
, Teacher
Blah. 2007-01-24 12:45:00 Current song: Ordinary Day by Vanessa CarltonCurrent mood: crappily ecstatic Current read: :DHm… let’s just say that this is what happened yesterday.I mistakenly gave Kuya Ivan the bar of chocolates for [insert name here], inclusive of the question. And I gave [insert name here] the bar of chocolates with the thank you note for the tutorial in Physics. Smart… Of all things that could have been done, it had to go to this.So not only was I not able to accomplish my mission, but I also humiliated myself in front of one of the school’s most intellectually gifted beings.Nice.And to think that was enough for today.Astrosoc workshop. Not only was I the bell girl, but also I was a delivery girl, a messenger and a marathon-er. Well, not just for Astrosoc but also for the Math Unit in preparation for the IQC. Basically I was hungry and tired and worn out before lunch, stuck at the observatory up in the school. Then they locked me up with him.Was it ten or twenty minutes. I was hungry, di
La-la-la 2007-01-23 14:12:00 Current song: Another Day from RentCurrent mood: apprehensiveCurrent read: Bamboo in the WindWhy am I even putting this here? I’m sure that by the time he finds this he will have flown away already. Or at least this matter is too late to be noticed. Or that the wrong person would find this.~+~+~+~I finally asked him out. I just don’t know if he will or if he won’t.You see, I just gave him something which had the question attached. Either I was too cowardly to tell him directly and receive his answer at once or I couldn’t handle the high possibility of the answer I foresaw. I just had to take a risk. I had to go for someone out of my league… ~+~+~+~I could have kept this to myself and stayed contented to taking glances at him. But I would only wonder what if. Very funny how I even planned over 14 scenarios where and how I could ask him out, from the simplest approach on a Wednesday before his last subject to one tad too desperate.And now, I can’t say that it was my best effo
Hm... Twisted 2007-01-20 02:14:00 Friday:Somehow, I just want to leave and make my own road now. But at some point, I see that I'm not ready to do to that which I want to do for myself. Still I question, when is the right time? I don't know if I should study abroad after MPPA or for my postgrad.~+~+~+~Saturday:After breakfast with my relatives who came from CA, I realized that Sir Alfer was right. Starting last thursday to yesterday, our English was devoted to discussing a Filipino short story writen in the 1960's, entitled "The Virgin". It discussed, though implied of patriarchalism in Philippine society, women as a commodity, our responsibilities, the cultural stereotypes as well as the concept of vigrinity per se.Marriage is viewed, even in our current society, as a fulfillment of a human being. In many cultures, a human being is seen to be complete in marriage and in the creation of a functional family unit. It is seen as a responsibility for women and more often than not, gives her value. But of course, there i Read more:Twisted
Pre-YMSAT 2007-01-19 01:22:00 Last night, er this morning, was spent on academic requirements. Cramming the STR poster, the SS3 homework, the Math homework and the Inkwell submission. I'm glad to say that I've done my part well in all. But of course, it was at the toll of my sleeping time, as well as my health. I can't think or see stright. See you in the clinic.~+~+~+~RC, I can't ask him. Basta, deadliest deadline is on the 24th.「おわり」~+~
Procrastination 2007-01-17 04:31:00 Friday is D-Day for me. STR - PosterChem - Paper / Experiment / PresentationInkwell - Essay in English & Essay in FilipinoAnd more I can't recall~+~+~+~Wednesday, the day I ask [rejection or acceptance] or not ask [which leads to forgetting about this issue ever occurring]. :) Several of my friends tell me to. A couple or so don't.~+~+~+~If faith is what we need to heal the world,then I know, it will take a miracle to heal me.~+~+~+~If I could just ask later...Anyway, I still have the STR and the Chem to work on.(^O_O^)「おわり」~+~ Read more:Procrastination
Home 2007-01-16 04:32:00 For now, I don't know whether I will be happy or not. Life's changed a lot since the past few weeks. Maybe it's because I have reasons to live and be happy.But then there are still questions unanswered.It doesn't feel like defeat, but victory is still not the fruit!~+~+~+~A friend of mine enlightened me about this reality I live in. It's not as if I'm denying that my reality is that of emptiness and doubt. But seeing it come from someone not part of that reality made me come into terms of pride and acceptance."I know, I've been right all this time."「おわり」~+~
Hm... Angst again 2007-01-10 01:01:00 Perhaps it is not having what I want that leaves me with this feeling of emptiness. I don't know what I lack for mirrors of this age cannot reflect the truth per se. Trust is something I still find difficulty working with. Maybe it is because in the end, I know that we will always have to fact the end of the end alone.~+~+~+~Screw teenage cynicism.「おわり」~+~ Read more:Angst
I Told You I Am Matured 2006-12-31 10:08:00 My life has been rated:See what your rating is!Created by Bart KingWhat does this mean?Suitable for 18 years or older. This is real life. Anything in this category is considered to be of subject matter relating to adult life, that happens day in and day out. Walking down the street is an 18 certificate. You have a life, well done.Examples: American Beauty, Fight Club, any film that’s good「おわり」~+~
I Really Miss CSA 2006-09-25 02:01:00 Okay, last Saturday, I was at the mall after a review session in M4... apparently, i'm quite proficient in proving trigonometric identities so I have less to worry about.Anyway, after going to the hospital before going to the review session, I saw someone to whom special memories of mine were once saved for. Unfortunately, since he was crossing the street, and I in the car, I never got the chance to say hi. XPMall - Noelle was there with Sam and Abe... It was just by chance that we saw each other. After they left, I felt more or less sore about some matters.Had I stayed in CSA, I would be with them.. the barkada wouldn't break apart. I would see and be with my friends almost everyday... He'd probably still love me... And perhaps I'd still be happier because of my academic status... I'd be more hardworking and determined with my work... I'd actually still be a really good debater...I wouldn't be in MPPA... I wouldn't have met RC and Prissy and Athy [ilang 2x 09], and Inna, Anna,
Summer 2007 Plans 2007-03-21 12:33:00 Now that I think about it, it's a little bit overdue putting in my summer plans now that it has started but I'll put it in anyway. :D Order is according to scope of involvement.Yes, I actually intend to accomplish all of these.Me:Sleep. At least 9 hours a day to compensate for the several sleepless nights of SY06-07.Relax. nuff said.Learn something new. PHP would be nice. Cooking would be something beyond the Chem Lab.Re-learn something old. Playing the guitar would be one. Mom's starting to complain about how I got them to buy me one, but they never hear me practice [lol]. JavaScript and the extensive usage of Adobe Photoshop too for academic reasons. Same with the usages of hiragana and katakana.Summer
job as Mom's secretary. Or in case of the lack of job openings: convince Dad to give me an incentive to study, like a raise in allowance.Artistic catharsis. dA.Spend less time thinking too much.Read more.Family:Bond. Spend more time with them. At least with HK or Singapore coming u
Back in the Day 2007-03-22 08:45:00 Remember those times when hopes and dreams were never too far to reach and the the journey to the nearest galaxy was only a blink of an eye away? Remember those times when those fantasies, created from the essence of childhood became real? Like playing with your first imaginary friend or when your family car was a train leading you and your family to the next biggest adventure you could think of?Well, I do admit that I gave up on such fantasies more than half a lifetime ago. Was it a personal choice to give up on what made childhood childhood? Or was it a choice of circumstance that made me see that I had to grow up as soon as possible?Whatever it is, that is not the issue I'm posting about. This post will be about those younger days when childhood was far more simpler than the complications brought about by egoistic analysis, the desire to avenge one's self to the point of it being unreasonable, and a time before faith was a matter of questioning.~+~+~+~Right now, I look out the win
Untitled 2007-03-24 11:33:00 Silence.In the silence of the night, in the darkness of the room, I face that screen.Watching.Waiting for the reply to pop up on-screen.I read it.I type.I reply.I smile.It goes on for hours.The routine goes on for days.And in the wee hours of the morning...We almost forget the need to sleep.We forget the world,As well as the madness that is.「おわり」~+~ Read more:Untitled
Something... 2006-12-16 15:25:00 When Life is almost over, no matter how much pain you're in, as long as people who care for you and people who matter much to you are with you, it's alright. For that brief moment in time, you forget about how the suffering and just be happy.Today, my mom, my brother and I went back to Bataan to visit my grandfather. He is terminally ill but he doesn't know about it. If I'm not mistaken, he's the only one who doesn't know. But today, all of my aunts and my uncle came to visit him in the hospital along with almost all of my cousins.On that one moment by brother played his violin for my grandfather, that's when I saw him happy for the first time.Does a person have to live a life of ignorance, suffering and pain first before appreciating the simple joys? Of family? Of difference? Of identity?~+~+~+~「おわり」~+~
Recommend Site To A Friend
