Owner: The Joke Blog URL:http://yasminjokes.blogspot.com Join Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2008 13:37:18 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: All the best party and hilarious jokes under the Sun, coz life need not always be that serious! Site statistics:Click here
Watermelon Farmer 2008-06-26 12:38:00 There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was frequently disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelons patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure.
He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the Read more:Watermelon
Invited For Dinner 2008-06-25 11:08:00 A young man goes into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist : "Hello, could you give me a condom. My girlfriend has invited me for dinner and I think she is expecting something from me." The pharmacist gives him the condom.
As the young man is going out, he returns and tells him : "Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative m Read more:Dinner
Watch The Wall ! 2008-06-24 12:18:00 A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into the wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive!
She lives for ten more years, and then finally dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the
Women's Annual Convention 2008-06-23 13:23:00 At a recent women's annual convention, a lady went on stage to relate her experience. "After the last convention, I went back and told my husband I wasn't going to do the cooking anymore. On the first day, nothing happened. Even on the second day, nothing happened. But then on the third day, my husband prepared the most delicious dinner I'd had in years." There was approving applause from the list Read more:Women
, Annual
, Convention
Secrets of Sharing 2008-06-22 20:00:00 A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife.
The old man then Read more:Secrets
, Sharing
Really Smart 2008-06-22 12:38:00 A couple, getting ready to go to the theater, was shocked to find that their new Mercedes had been stolen from the garage. They went to the police station to lodge a report but when they returned home they were surprised to find the car parked in front of the house with a note : "My wife was in labour with our first child and I had to take your car." Also attached were two tickets for the show. Th Read more:Smart
, Really Smart
Beating The Red Light 2008-06-22 11:18:00 Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the Read more:Red Light
Being Helpful 2008-06-22 04:18:00 I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about five minutes and when I came out there was damn motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him ad said, "Come on buddy, how about giving a lady a break?" He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil necked Nazi.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!! So I
Romantic Mood 2008-06-22 02:18:00 An older couple were lying in bed after an evening celebrating their 50th Wedding Anniversary. The husband was asleep, but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to go back to sleep. A few moments later she said : "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated, h
Have You Seen A Mermaid? 2008-06-20 11:38:00 On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her, how could she possibly continue to feed her family now? In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself.
When the man awoke to fin
Quick Laughs 9 2008-06-18 22:45:00 Three women were having lunch and discussing their husbands. The first said, "My husband is cheating on me, I just know it. I found a pair of stockings in his jacket pocket, and they weren't mine!" The second said, "My husband is cheating on me, I just know it. I found a condom in his wallet, so I poked it full of holes with my sewing needle!" The third woman fainted.
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Hey That's a Good Idea! 2008-06-17 11:52:00 Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It then started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke. Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! What is that you put over your cigarette?"
The other old lady said, "It's a condom .." "A condom? Where do
Benefits of Being Gorgeous 2008-06-16 15:17:00 Two cannibals, a father and son, were out to get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man.
The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to feed even the dogs. We'll just wait." Well, a little while later, along came this really fat woman. The son said, "Hey dad, she's p Read more:Benefits
Cover Your Tracks 2008-06-14 12:36:00 An Irishman had been at a pub all night drinking. The bartender finally said that the bar was closed. So he stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He figured he would crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that would sober him up. Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face.
So he crawled home and at the door stood up and fell flat yet again, on his face. He crawled through t Read more:Cover
Catherine Tate's French Oral Test 2008-06-13 16:27:00 How many of you out there have watched British comedian, Catherine
Tate in action? Well, if you haven't or even if you've missed out on her first video featured here at The Joke Blog some months back, no worries, cause we're here to introduce her back again for the second time around to our blog readers. I for one, am an ardent fan of hers and would gladly pay any amount just to watch her perform Read more:French
Alleviating Constipation Problems 2008-06-13 14:37:00 A man was badly constipated so he went to a doctor to try to alleviate his problem. The doctor prescribed suppositories to be administered once every four hours. When he got home, he quickly took a suppository, swallowing it down with a glass of water. After four hours, nothing happened, so he swallowed another one.
After several days, he was still constipated, so he returned to the doctor, compl
Every Room Needs A Statue 2008-06-12 12:10:00 A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "Stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, honey?" the husband asked as he entered the room. "Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonc Read more:Needs
, Statue
Chemistry Lesson 2008-06-11 01:35:00 A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor. So, he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whisky, and two worms. "Now class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water.
The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm he put into the whiske
24 Hours To Live 2008-06-09 23:01:00 A man went to the Doctor and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He went home to tell his wife and after both had a long cry over it, he asked her if she would have sex with him because he only had 24 hours to live. "Of course Darling," she replied. And so they had sex.
Four hours later they were lying in bed and he turned to her again, and said, "You know I only have 20 hours to li Read more:Hours
Three Pints of Guinness 2008-06-06 22:38:00 An Irishman walked into a bar in Dublin, ordered three pints of Guinness
and sat in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished them, he came back into the bar and ordered three more. The bartender asked him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replied, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. Read more:Three
Texan Farmer On Vacation 2008-06-06 05:18:00 A Texan farmer went to Australia for a vacation. There he met an Australian farmer and got talking to him. The Australian farmer showed off his big wheat field and the Texan said, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large."
Then they walked around the ranch a little, and the Australian showed off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately said, "We have longhorns that are at least Read more:Vacation
Survey From Heaven 2008-06-06 04:18:00 After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was doing on Earth, St. Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his findings. "Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?" God asked.
"I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in a sinful manner. There's drugs, alcohol, murders, you name it, a regular Sodom and Gomorrah. But the worst is this Read more:Heaven
Quick Laughs 8 2008-06-06 03:38:00 Husband : "Shall we change positions tonight?"
Wife : "Well, of course. You can cook and wash the dishes, and I'll sit on the sofa and fart."
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This blonde's house caught fire. She called the fire department and said, "Help Me, Help Me, my house is on fire."
The fireman said, "How do I get there?"
The blonde said, "DU Read more:Quick
President Clinton's Democrat Puppies 2008-06-06 02:45:00 President Clinton
was out jogging one day, when he encountered a man with some puppies. Clinton asked the man what kind of puppies they were, and the man responded, "They're Democrat
puppies, Mr. President."
Clinton thought that was so great that the next day he brought the first lady to see these puppies for herself. He asked the man to tell Hillary what kind of puppies they were, and the man re Read more:President
Contact Us 2008-06-06 01:56:00 Thank you for visiting The Joke Blog.
My name is Yasmin. Here at The Joke Blog we attract a large number of, affluent, educated audience of jokers :)
We do welcome your comments about our blog, as they would help us in identifying new areas of interest for future content.
So if you have a joke to tell us, first hand experience, information or even photos, about an incredibly funny story that's
World Series 2008-07-10 13:18:00 During a recent world series, a man noticed that there was a vacant seat next to the man beside him. He commented that it was unbelievable that someone would spend so much on a ticket and not turn up for the match.The man next to him said that it was for his wife. They had bought the tickets months in advance but unfortunately she died and could not make it. "Why didn't you give the ticket to your Read more:World
, World Series
Local Indian Custom 2008-07-09 11:38:00 A cowboy was traveling with two Indians in a desert in Nevada. Then there was a sound of WOOO ... coming from a cave in the mountains. One of the Indians turned and rode towards the cave at full gallop. At the entrance of the cave, he quickly took off all his clothes and went straight into the cave. The cowboy was surprised at this behaviour and looked at the other Indian for an explanation. He to Read more:Local
Lion Tamer 2008-07-08 14:18:00 A circus owner advertised for a lion tamer but only two people applied, one a shapely lady and the other a young man. The circus owner warned them that the lion was very ferocious and had just eaten the last tamer. Both the applicants answered that they were not afraid and would like to have a go at it.The lady chose to go first. Walking towards the lion's cage, she ignored the chair, the whip and
Stranded On A Island 2008-07-07 23:38:00 This guy was stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he saw a speck in the horizon. He thought to himself, "It's not a ship." The speck got a little closer and he thought, "It's not a boat." The speck got even closer and he thought, "It's not a raft." Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.The woman came up to the guy and sa Read more:Island
Wedding Night 2008-07-06 23:18:00 Shawn and Mabel get married but couldn't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Shawn's Mom and Dad's house for their first night together. In the morning, Mark, Shawn's little brother gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Shawn and Mabel are up yet. She replies, "No." Mark asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want Read more:Night
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