My Hubby
2007-03-15 17:42:44
I feel the need to wax poetic about my darling husband, Bryan.
Or, as he is known around our house, Cooterhead Saggynuts.
(Mine is Lumpy Vagina.)
Bryan has been uber-fabulous this week. Not only did he make dinner on Monday night, and then forgive me for not cooking on Tuesday night, he bought me a HUGE surprise!
He bought (and installed!) a doggie door for the house.
You have NO idea how this eases our daily routine. But what amazed me is that Bryan was able to sweet-talk our landlord into letting him do it. Our landlord is a VERY nice guy, but he’s ani-pet and was VERY anti-dog-door. But because Bryan has totally fixed our house up (and they were all things the landlord SAID he would do and never did), Bryan was able to convince him that we SO need a doggie door.
Not only that, but Bryan has gone walking with me twice this week. He doesn’t know it, but these walks mean a lot to me. I would take them regardless, but it’s so nice to have him
Read more: Hubby
BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH
2007-03-15 13:42:18
So, today’s the day.
But I think my Ides actually happened yesterday, so I may be okay. Yesterday, I had a horribly shitty day. Like, very much so. Horrible. (You couldn’t tell, but I said that last one in french. Cause, yes, that’s how bad it was. French-bad.) And because I’m stupid, I expected my husband to just beam into my head and figure out that I had a horribly shitty day and try to fix it.
Instead, I asked him to take a walk with me.
We walked for two hours: downtown, Old Town, Five Points, Big Spring Park.. you named it, we walked there. Saw lots of people we know. Saw a dog we didn’t know. (Edie! So cute.) And the whole time, I was struggling to come up with words about the shitty day I’d had. So I could.. what’s that word again?.. communicate with my husband. But I didn’t have any words.
So we got home and I went to bed. And here we are: THE IDES OF MARCH. The day historically known for bad luc
That Man o’ Mine
2007-03-14 18:18:35
I swear, if this man had not purchased (and intended to install) a doggie door yesterday, I might leave him.
Backstory: a coworker is leaving at his company. He swears they work really, REALLY hard over there. But then I see this..
And this:
(Yes, that’s Bryan.)
And last, but not least:
He SAYS they work hard. (Then again, it’s pretty damn funny.)
Shameless Self-Promotion
2007-03-14 16:40:50
So, I’ll admit it. I’m an incredibly vain person combined with a slightly competive person. If you put that together, that means that anything directly reflective of “me” must be the best. MUST BE.
When I heard that you could have a “Page Rank” done to your website to see how “rankable” (?) your site is, I was excited. I’ve been delving into the world of professional blogging for a few months now, and my professional blog is doing well. You are scaled from 1 to 10, with 10 being THE BEST.
WHICH IS WHAT I MUST BE.
And yet, this site is a zero. Out of ten. Which is ten less than I want it.
Admittedly, I haven’t yet figured out how to adjust the numbers. My professional blog is scoring a 5, which is great. The Anvil Tree? Zero. And this blog is SOOOOO much more fun! (C’mon, people, I wrote a post below comparing Bradford Pears to semen! You know you love it!)
So here’s what I ask, i
Read more: Shameless
Why Everyone Needs a Coven
2007-03-14 14:59:48
Because then someone could’ve stopped this conversation from happening:
We’re walking out to a business luncheon, amid the millions of blossoming bradford pears that adorn our campus.
Me: Mm hm. Nothing like the stench of bradford pears in the springtime. Nice.
Coworker #1: It smells like old frying oil, you know? When they don’t change it soon enough and just keep cooking in it.
Coworker #2: Really? I thought it smells like fish. Maybe not even exclusively fish, but definitely raw seafood.
Coworker #3: Cum. It smells like cum.
Me: WHAT?!
Coworker #3: Cum. Jizzz-um. You know.
So.. how do you politely tell a coworker that her man may need to visit a doctor, and with a quickness? (Because you know that in The Coven, we’da just straight up said, “Girl, yo man needs to have his shit checked out.”)
Read more: Needs
All the World’s a Stage
2007-03-13 15:10:17
I am wearing a swishy skirt today. Because it’s spring, and as I promised yesterday, our highs today will reach the low-to-mid eighties. But because I am wearing a swishy skirt, people think I am “dressed up.“ It’s one of my favorite signs of spring.
I neglected to gush about Crossing Delancey yesterday, because I was trying my hardest to not be online if I could help it. The weather made the outdoors irrestible, and I learned why we keep Charlie around:
It was so gorgeous yesterday that I couldn’t help myself. I wandered out to the backyard and the sun was calling me, so I shimmied out of my top and pants and just sprawled across the backporch. (One of the luxuries of living in a house versus apartments or duplexes is having your own yard to be nude in as you please.) I kept hearing Charlie zoom by me as I lay on my belly, and I realized that he was actually chasing wasps away from me as I slept. It was awesome.
Anyway, Crossing Delancey
Read more: World
, Stage
Spring in Five Points
2007-03-12 22:20:46
I am happy today.
My house is spotless, thanks to a crazy cleaning spree my husband and I embarked on yesterday. It is full with the smells of buttercream frosting and fresh bread baking. The windows and doors are open, with lazy animals snoozing in the patches of sunlight that have found their way in.
My husband will be home shortly, and we will have dinner together and then venture out. We will either tackle the gym or take a long walk in our neighborhood; either way, we will return home a little more ready to sleep.
There is freshly made lemonade in our fridge, which tastes like the summer around the corner.
I’m happy today.
Read more: Spring
, Points
Happy Spring!!
2007-03-12 18:08:21
Enjoy this weather!
(Because here in the south, it will be 90 degrees in a week.)
Is anyone else missing that hour we lost?
Read more: Spring
, Happy
Confirmation
2007-03-10 04:03:39
So it’s my night of “absolutely nothing” and it’s far more perfect than I had hoped. Why? Because my godson is quietly snoozing on the floor.
I had that life-altering moment earlier tonight, but don’t tell Delle.
I have been waivering back and forth on the “Do I ever want kids?” issue for years, and marriage didn’t really clarify much for me. Even having a stepson just seemed to murky the waters.
Tonight, Matthew dozed off while we were playing on the floor. He had been a bit fussy when Delle first left, but I have instincts with kids that surprised even me, and he had fallen asleep quickly. He stirred while I was moving to get up, and he grabbed at my sweater. He looked up at me with his momma’s eyes and grinned.
And I melted.
It was as if he was telling me a joke that only we would share. He kept giggling, and it took me a minute to convince myself that he wasn’t dirtying another diaper for me to
Read more: Confirmation
Flip Side of Bachelorette-ism
2007-03-09 19:25:17
Steph wrote a few days ago about how she finally had the straw that broke the single mom’s back while her husband is off traveling. And, admittedly, she has WAAAAY more on her plate than I do. So whining feels a bit silly for me.
(Not gonna stop me, but I thought I’d admit that it FEELS silly.)
Last night, I did as I always do. I made it home around 5, stayed home long enough to wash some dishes and feed the dogs, and then headed back out to Costco. I spent about an hour there, stopped at their gas pumps to fill up, and headed home. After carting in TWO cases of bottled drinks, and unloading all of the groceries, I made it in.
It was almost seven by this point. I had SO hoped to be done before this.
While I occassionally have the young child (The Boy) in my house, for the most part, I’m childless. I do, however, have a bazillion animals who all depend on me to care for them. And while none of my animals are exactly high-maintenance, I do liken
Read more: Bachelorette
‘Tis the Season
2007-03-16 20:38:10
Read more: lsquo
, Season
I Vote for PoBoy’s Tonight.
2007-03-16 18:09:29
So the lady I work with whose husband leaves her surprises all the time brought her a big ole plate from Tim’s Cajun Kitchen for lunch.
I. AM. DYING.
It smells SOOOOO good. And I mean, I had a dose of cajun last night.. I finally needed some comfort food and made Rotel Chicken, a comfort dish I learned about in Louisiana. It was soo good, and I told Bryan, “I don’t care if you eat any of it, or even if you like it, I made it for me.” (So he ate some on his own, and even liked it.)
I have a big ole tupperware thing of it sitting in my fridge at home. I’m debating actually going alllllll the way home to eat it.
Cajun. Mmm.
Read more: Tonight
Women With Money (or Sarah’s Goal)
2007-03-16 15:30:41
First of all, thank you for my daisy this morning. I SOO needed it.
I want to talk to all of the women who read this, because I saw something last night that made me really stop and think about my life and how I run it. I caught one of my favorite speakers, Suze Orman, on PBS last night in her special “Women
with Money
“.
When I was younger, and VERY upside down with money, I happened to walk by her book The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke while I was sipping a venti chai latte and shoe shopping. (ANY idea why I was upside down with money?). It was colorful, it was written by a woman for people my age, and I was intrigued by the concept, so I purchased it and took it home.
It was so incredibly compelling to me, the idea that I could control my own money, that I poured through it in a day. I still have it and LOVE it. So let me start by preaching that EVERYONE read that book.
(And let me profess that I am no genious with money, by any stretch
Read more: Sarah
A Perfect Way to End (or Start) a Week.
2007-03-18 22:23:30
Get ready, all ten of my readers! Oh, joy.. it is time to ONCE AGAIN FEEL SUPERIOR TO SARAH! I have not only one, but two tales of woe today that will lend you the opportunity to feel morally, ethically, and mentally superior to Sarah. Relish in the superiority; this kind of free-for-all doesn’t come every day.
We have The Boy this weekend. These weekends I always dread, and then have a ball during. I know, it’s stupid, but it’s nonetheless true. He’s a fabulous kid, but it’s just such a weird situation, to only be a family for three days, every other week. Regardless, one of Bryan’s coworkers bequeathed us with this really cool toy that is basically designed to make adults feel retarded. (And by adults, I mean me.) It asks you certain questions, and to answer them, you’re required to use hand/eye coordination through a series of twists, slams, pulls, and shakes. This toy, we figured out, is PERFECT in the car; it asks the qu
Read more: Perfect
, Start
More Efficient than Most. (You Can Envy Me.)
2007-03-20 14:45:08
So — SURPRISE! — I love being a wife.
No, that really is a shocker for me. I never thought I’d enjoy being the domestic type. Sure, I’ve always loved to clean, but that’s due to a mild case of OCD, not because I enjoy being the 50s housewife. (Although I do love the skirts and kitten heels.)
So mornings like this one really crank my motor. I am feeling like SuperWifey this morning.
I went to sleep MUCH later than I planned to, due to Bryan being so damn funny. We spent last night helping Daddy assemble the tv stand for his BRAND NEW 42 INCH LCD TV (a behemoth before which we almost bowed down), and then he treated us to dinner at Ruby Tuesday’s. (CHICKEN OSCAR, BABY.)
Sidenote: knowing that us theatre types say “Break a leg” before you hit stage, what do you think they say to Heather Mills before she goes on to “Dancing with the Stars”?
Anyway, we got back home at quarter-till-ten, which is officially fifte
Countdown to Chattanooga: 5
2007-03-19 21:29:22
I know this sounds silly, but my favorite part of Bryan and I visiting Chattanooga was that I bought two new shirts (okay, a shirt and a shrug) to wear, along with a pair of new shoes. I maybe spent $50 altogether on it, but I just felt so good.. on vacation, breathing different air, with this hott guy, and wearing new clothes. So, naturally, I’ve been scouting out some new threads.
You know, so I can look hott for my husband.
I am so unenthused about the spring lines out there. And to be really honest, here’s what gets me about them: they’re not at all appropriate for work, so I can’t justify purchasing any of them. Sure I love the tanks out there and the breezy dresses and more of the tanks that I love. But none of those are work-appropriate (IMHO), and it just doesn’t make sense that I have them.
Good news is: WE ARE GOING TO CHATTANOOGA IN FIVE DAYS.
Read more: Countdown
Muppet Trivia Crisis
2007-03-19 16:05:11
These things have been driving my house crazy:
On Sesame Street, Big Bird has a dog. What is the dog’s name?
What are the names of two geezer hecklers on The Muppet
Show?
Read more: Trivia
, Crisis
You Won’t See Me on Gone Wild.. Yet.
2007-03-19 15:16:03
So.. Bryan and I did our version (the working adult version) of Spring Break last night. We stayed out until (drumroll, please) 10:30. I know, I know.. you’re wondering how I’m surviving today. Well, let me confess: it’s not easy being as cool as I am.
(I wish I were kidding. I’m exhausted.)
Last night, after returning from The Green to drop The Boy off, we headed down South Parkway to an old rendevous: The Corner. We had not been in years, but the night holds fond memories for us; our first official date was an Open Mic Night. And after I sang, Bryan drove me home. And when he wouldn’t, I totally initiated our first kiss.
We got there and said hey to the old faces we hadn’t seen in ages, and got a table. We ordered old Corner fare, which we hadn’t had in many moons, and just generally enjoyed eachother’s company. Oh, and I drank. I had the city’s best Amaretto Sour.. my usual, back in the day. Bryan ha
The Post Elf Hath Been Here.
2007-03-21 19:45:55
Well, paint my door red and call me Elizabeth Arden! Where in the hell has my post gone?!
I had not abandoned you, dear readers. I TOTALLY wrote a very long, very witty, very biting post earlier! With wittiness abounding! And at least four references to my hair! And an update on Sarah’s-Mission-to-Live-Without-Underwear! Ooh, and a review of The Prestige!
Well, crap. I was wondering why I hadn’t been receiving any love praising my fantastic use of the english language. Now I know. Because all you’ve had to ponder today is “Where in the world did they get helmets to fit on Peeps?”
Tell me this weather doesn’t make you want to be a window-washer.
Well, since I can’t remember anything even partially amusing to rehash to you, I leave you with this thought: nothing makes an afternoon quite like a Laughing Cow triangle of cheese and a Bartlett pear.
One Quick One. Long One Forthcoming.
2007-03-21 14:20:04
Titled, appropriately enough, “We Come In Peeps”.
Read more: Quick
More About Sarah You Don’t Care to Know.
2007-03-20 17:30:25
Although I had a highly productive morning, we had a Severe Weather Drill here in the building that kinda made me lose any momentum I may have had going. (On the upshot, though, I got to wear a spiffy “anti-collision” neon orange vest. Because people depend on me to save their lives in case of an emergency. Psshah, right?)
So now we’re back, and we’re all sitting here, twiddling our thumbs and wondering how we’re going to pass the next six or so hours till we’re excused to leave.
Luckily, Miss Zoot provided a meme! (You know I’m all about lists.) So this will take up ten minutes or so of my day. Hooray!
Top 5 Reasons I blog
1. First and foremost, I have a memory made of swiss cheese. I cannot remember ANYTHING for longer than, say, the run of a show. Don’t ask me anything about last week, because it’s gone. Nada. I will smile and nod and tell you that I had some serious stomach issues last week, because that&rsquo
Read more: Sarah
It’s Not Me. It’s My Evil Twin.
2007-03-22 20:07:18
I am beginning to think that, as I near 30, I am not as optimistically resillient as I once was. I hate this.
Last night, as I finagled Bryan into stopping for a milkshake (I don’t think he bought the whole “OHMYGOD, I forgot there was a Ben & Jerry’s here! Since we’re here.. we should totally get a milkshake” routine), I teased him about the fact that I’ve cooked, like, eighty meals in the last week. I didn’t think I pushed too hard with it, but he looked at me, completely serious, and said, “You’re being very hateful tonight.”
And at the time, I laughed it off, because I didn’t feel like I was being hateful. I felt like I was just teasing. Hardball teasing, but teasing nonetheless. I think I went so far as to call him a pussy-girlie-girl (which, I’m sure, did worlds of good for alleviating the “hateful” vibe I was putting out).
However, this morning, I was sitting in a training
If Only I DID Tags.
2007-03-22 14:40:53
One of my favorite things about Bryan and I as a couple is that, between the two of us, we know someone EVERYWHERE we go. (Same holds true with The Boy. He knows more people than we could dream of knowing.) Everywhere we go, we will run into two or three people that know us and.. get this.. like us. (Or they will like one of us and silently tolerate the other half.)
I say that with amazement because, as a child, I was one of 14 Sarahs in every class. Add to that that I was pale and blonde, and I was pretty much invisible. I moved through life without being memorable to anyone, and was resigned to such a life of anonymity. I figured that once a show closed, the entire cast forgot that I ever existed. Or once I graduated, I was immediately erased from people’s memory. Or once I left that job, my coworkers (even if they saw me in public) would just glaze over me as if I were faceless.
Which is why, in public, I will see people I know and not approach them. Case i
My Spring Ritual
2007-03-24 01:25:39
My Spring
Ritual
Originally uploaded by SarahLena.
You know it’s spring when the pink toenail polish comes out.
Two Outta Three Ain’t Bad
2007-03-23 20:10:30
So, back to the whole “not saying hi to people cause they won’t know who I am”, karma totally called my bluff on that since I’ve posted.
Last night, I stopped in at Star Market on my way home to grab some produce before Daddy joined us for dinner, and while browsing the aisle, I looked up and saw my eighth-grade English teacher. Now, typically, I wouldn’t have approached her. But this woman made such a huge impact on me as a student that I would’ve hated myself for not at least saying “hi”.
So I called to her.
“Hey,” I said. “You probably don’t remember me, but you taught me english and I got to paint one of your ceiling tiles. My name is ..”
“Sarah, I know who you are!” she exclaimed. “I just didn’t recognize you right off.. you’ve gotten so skinny!”
(Which made me wonder what I looked like the last time I saw her, but I’m willing to take a comp
Read more: Three
My, It’s Drafty In Here.
2007-03-23 16:53:36
Bryan walks in from the shower, and I stand there in my Ann Taylor pants, jewelry, heels, and no shirt.
Bryan: I like that ensemble. (Cause we’re sophisticated and speak french. Like “brie”.)
Me: Yeah? You like?
Bryan: Mm-hm. Doesn’t exactly say “corporate”, but..
Me: What DOES it say exactly?
Bryan: Says “My boss is not in today, so just be thankful I put on a bra.”
The Lamest To-Do EVER
2007-03-26 19:32:56
Things We’ll be Doing Tonight:
Mowing the Lawn(s)
Scrubbing the Dining Room Chairs
Laundry
Making Tangy Asian Chicken with stir fry
Walking the Dogs
So, for those of you who doubt that we party like rockstars, let this be proof: WE ROCK SO FRICKIN’ HARD.
Case of the Mondays
2007-03-26 16:43:55
Shh. Don’t tell anyone, but for some reason, our entire Huntsville network is kaput.. but I can access the web. So email? Out. Local drives? Disconnected. But can Sarah blog? Oh, yes, my friends.. Sarah can indeed blog.
Clean livin’.
This past weekend was OHMYGAH good. Truly. Friday night, we walked down to Sazio’s for a scrumptious dinner. Bryan doesn’t like .. you know, ANYTHING.. so I got an entire tomato-goat cheese appetizer all to myself. It was fabulous. We ate ourselves silly and then walked home.
Poor Bryan’s allergies have REALLY been killing him this year. Usually, I’m the one who walks around in a zombie-like state, wishing I could just stick a pressure-faucet up each nostril, but this year, he has been miserable. So Friday night meant a night on the couch for Bryan, poor baby.
We slept in Saturday morning and then took off to CHATTY-TOWN!! The weather was SOOO beautiful, and we went straight to Rock
Read more: Mondays
He’s Becoming.. ::gasp!:: HUMAN!
2007-03-27 18:26:34
As part of our “adjustment” exercises, The Boy has a journal at our house (we’re hoping one at both houses, but Lord only knows). It is a hard and fast rule that only he is allowed to touch it, read it, or even move it. It is HIS journal, and he may write whatever he wants in there. Occasionally, he will ask us to participate.
The Boy: Sarah, I think you should write in my journal.
Me: Okay, what should I write?
The Boy: I dunno; whatever you feel like. And it will be a secret between you and me.
Me: Okay. (I write, “I THINK [THE BOY] IS A REALLY COOL KID. I HOPE WE CAN READ CHAPTER BOOKS TOGETHER SOON.“ Then I close the journal and return it where it was.)
The Boy: Good. (He paces as he tries to overcome the anticipation, and finally, he grabs the journal and flips open to where I’ve written in it. He takes his time, soaks it all in, then snaps it closed and puts it back.)
The Boy: So, Sarah.. it seems you think I’m a pretty c
Read more: Becoming
I Would Rather Have Ladybugs
2007-03-27 15:53:31
So, back to the To-Do List for last evening, lemme just update on why I rock so friggin hard.
Mowing the Lawn(s) — I DID THIS
Scrubbing the Dining Room Chairs — I DID THIS (and Bryan helped)
Laundry — okay, no one did this
Making Tangy Asian Chicken with stir fry — I DID THIS
Walking the Dogs — I DID THIS (this morning at 5:30)
Quite frankly, I’m exhausted. And this morning, after getting back from walking the dog and dropping a book off at Caroline’s, I cleaned house, did the dishes, and..
You know what? It doesn’t matter. I’m tired. No matter how productive I’ve been, all I know is that I’m exhausted.
And I know that those of you with children have no sympathy for me, and I deserve that. I can’t IMAGINE throwing a child into my schedule. Especially with the Dish Elf infestation happening at my house.
.. what? You don’t have Dish Elves at YOUR house?
They are evil, those Dish Elves
Read more: Rather
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