Owner: Amateur Brain Surgery URL:http://www.amateurbrainsurgery.com/ Join Date: Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:52:59 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Amusing blog from the Sussex Amateur Brain Surgery Club. Local politics, observations, fun and comment. Site statistics:Click here
The Difference Between White and Red Wine Glasses 2008-06-23 11:18:41 Many people are completely unaware that there are significant design differences between glasses intended for Red Wines and glasses intended for White
Wines. After having just glugged a bottle and a half of a particularly tasty Bordeaux I thought I’d explain why the glass chosen for your wine is important:
White wine glasses tend to have [...] Read more:Glasses
Ridiculous news part 2… The Nurse rants on 2008-06-21 15:50:57 TV in prison isn’t always a benefit. The Nurse
is finding the news particularly irritating at the moment. Thankful for the opportunity to vent, she scribbles by the dim light of a crescent moon, her paper criss-crossed with shadows. In the next cell, someone weeps and gnaws at the bars…
More things that make The Nurse very, very cross. And [...] Read more:rants
Amber Means Stop 2008-06-12 09:34:53 A recent incident at traffic lights in Brighton has prompted me to write this post. It would appear that there is some confusion over the meaning of our UK traffic light system.
The incident occurred on the busy Lewes road. I was approaching one of the many sets of traffic lights on this road when they [...] Read more:Amber
, Means
Forget the Rich List. Here’s the Ridiculous List. 2008-06-11 11:03:42 The Nurse has a lot of time on her hands at Her Majesty’s Pleasure. Which is why she’s typing this post from underneath several unfurled and chaotic rolls of Elsan toilet roll. You know, that crinkly stuff that’s about the same thickness as tracing paper and twice as shiny. And utterly non-absorbent. Dreadful for personal hygiene but highly effective for writing lists.
Thi
Celebrities Need to Take Responsibility for Their Influence 2008-06-11 09:00:18 People have always been interested in the lives of the wealthy and famous but in recent years that interest has developed into widespread obsession. Is this a good thing? Not when the celebrity concerned is doing nothing but set a bad example.
Celebrities
and those in the public eye have a responsibility which few appear to [...] Read more:Responsibility
Report All Violent Criminals 2008-06-04 09:48:01 Well done to Mrs Saldinack for reporting her two sons to the police for the horrific attack and injury they inflicted upon Marc Parkinson in Chichester last year.
Mrs Saldinack’s sons, Luke Newman and Oliver Clark, along with a third man, Benjamin Hammond, set upon Mr Parkinson and a friend in a completely unprovoked attack. All [...] Read more:Criminals
Eurovision Wrong Contest 2008-05-27 07:51:50 Another Eurovision
song contest ends in controversy as the UK are awarded a paltry 14 points placing them in joint bottom position alongside Germany and the Russian entry, a painful, derivative dirge entitled ‘Believe’, won with 272 points.
People are asking whether the contest is really about the songs or are people voting for reasons other [...] Read more:Contest
, Wrong
Stray Cat Tales: Betty the Garden Cat 2008-05-26 10:53:36 Some months ago now, back when it was still cold, wet and wintery, we started to see a timid black and white cat, wearing a red collar, hanging around in our garden. We’d occasionally see her through the cat-flap, but she would bolt as soon as we tried to approach. She now trusts us enough [...] Read more:Betty
, Garden
, Stray
, Tales
Aberdeen Angus the Best Beef in the World 2008-05-19 09:40:51 It’s official. All at braindead mansions have unanimously voted AberdeenAngus
the best beef in the world.
Beef derived from this noble breed of cattle is, in our humble opinions, of far higher quality than beef derived from other breeds. Our extensive beef research has been painstakingly carried out over a number of years. We’ve been [...] Read more:World
The Nurse takes on a freelance copywriter 2008-05-06 10:04:50 Website copywriting isn’t as easy as it looks!
The Nurse
has always believed that she can turn her formidably capable hand to almost anything. After all, she taught herself trepanning from scratch. Painstaking practice, as well as giving herself permission to make mistakes in the interest of medical advancement, have been instrumental in her success as an amateur brain [...]
We are not getting the real news. 2008-07-03 09:29:27 “I wear this expression when I’m not sure whether to be excited or scared…”
We’re being fed news through a screen of total hysterica
The Nurse is well acquainted with rose-tinted glasses. She needs to be, locked up in here with water dripping down the walls and all those nutters groaning and banging in nearby cells. But she’s getting riled up about [...]
Intelligent design gets a plain language pasting! 2008-07-14 09:12:41 The Nurse has always felt - and thought - that the concept of god was a bit silly. As a small child in the ’70s she was sent home from junior school with a note saying that a girl who didn’t believe in god shouldn’t come to the christmas party. But she stuck to her guns. Logic [...] Read more:design
, Intelligent
, language
Recreational drugs: a question of morality? 2008-07-30 04:24:47 Is it intrinsically wrong to take drugs for fun?
The Nurse - locked away in her damp, moss walled sub-basement cell - is engaged in an ongoing fight for logic, common sense and clear thinking.
She fervently hopes that her efforts might, in some small way, stem the relentless tide of idiocy and hysteria that permeates Western society. After all, one day she might be released… and [.
Stop Having Babies to Save the Planet 2008-07-26 12:51:28 It’s a controversial message that isn’t going to win many votes. But the truth is, human population growth and overcrowding are the cause of many of today’s problems.
The solution is simple - stop having babies. The world’s human population should be decreased, gradually, by encouraging people to abstain from parenthood. Remaining childless should be encouraged [...] Read more:Babies
, Having
Criminal Gangs Using Vans for Prostitution 2008-07-24 11:16:50 According to police figures crime in Sussex has reportedly fallen in recent months. But if you listen to local news, read local newspapers or simply venture outdoors you’re likely to encounter an altogether different picture.
Every other house appears to be used as a so-called drugs factory, operated by Asians and staffed by one poor care-taker [...] Read more:Criminal
, Gangs
Science teacher insists the earth is less than 10,000 years old 2008-08-19 10:07:25 Richard Dawkins highlights UK education scandal
Eminent (and eminently sensible) scientist and philosopher Richard Dawkins interviewed a chemistry teacher at a ‘well-respected’ Yorkshire secondary school on TV last night. A teacher who stated - clearly and unashamedly - that he truly believed the earth was less than ten thousand years old.
A creationist, he has the gall to Read more:Science
Who’s the daddy, religion or science? 2008-08-14 07:27:35 The Nurse marvels at the universe and wonders why people need gods.
Just because she has misbehaved in the past doesn’t mean The Nurse is spiritually bereft. Her feelings still soar at the sight of a glorious sunset, even though she can only glimpse a slim slice of sky between the grim buildings, through the thick bars of her cell. And [...]
Stop China-bashing and enjoy the Olympics 2008-08-10 11:05:28 The Nurse admires China
and wonders at their tolerance of Western interference
The global economy is - inevitably - moving us towards a global morality. And the Western world appears to have stormed the moral high ground.
Snug in her cell watching the Olympics
, The Nurse hopes the event will send a great big wave of worldwide goodwill in China’s direction. She’s sick and t Read more:bashing
, enjoy
‘Credit crunch’ has nothing to do with food and petrol prices! 2008-09-01 09:58:58 The Nurse is baffled by rampant credit crunch malapropism.
The credit crunch has nothing to do with increasing food and oil prices. The term refers to the financial markets having no money to lend to home buyers because several high profile sub-prime mortgage books collapsed. And the resulting fartiness of the banks who are now too [...]
Brighton Beachdown and the Devils Dykes 2008-08-28 14:17:57 Myself and Mrs Surgeon were lucky enough to blag a couple of tickets for the Brighton
Beachdown festival up at Devils Dyke this last weekend. It’d been a few years since we’d braved the mud and weirdness of British summer festivals but this one, right on our doorstep, was not to be missed.
We’d made a [...]
Fantastic Vision from Outsider Artists 2008-09-28 10:57:36 A visit to the current “Eloquent Visions: Outsider
and Visionary Art” exhibition at the Orleans House Gallery in Twickenham is an absolute must if you have any inerest in Outsider Art or Art Brut.
The exhibitions showcases works from a variety of artists including Adolf Wolfli, Scottie Wilson, Edward Monsiel and schizophrenic cat artist Louis Wain. [...] Read more:Artists
, Fantastic
Director Quits Over Creationist Comments 2008-09-17 14:20:37 So Michael Reiss, the Royal Societies director of education, has now resigned after having caused much anger after suggesting that science teachers should teach creationist beliefs “not as a misconception but as a world view“.
His views were accurately described as outrageous by Nobel Prize Winner, Sir Richard Roberts. It was felt that Michael Reiss’s [...] Read more:Comments
, Director
New religion proposed for atheists 2008-10-09 11:36:44 The Nurse proposes a sensible, fulfilling, fun spiritual framework for atheists and sceptics
Atheist? You can still enjoy a spiritual life. The Nurse has been an atheist since early childhood. But she’s invented a positive, exciting spiritual framework. It provides her with an unpretentious but creative structure within which to live a responsible life.
It’s just a [...] Read more:proposed
Seasick Steve at The Brighton Dome 2008-10-08 14:47:15 Nearly all of the current Amateur Brain Surgery members were in attendance for last night’s Seasick Steve
gig at the Brighton
Dome. Only the Nurse was unavoidably absent due to her current incarceration.
In case you too have been locked away somewhere and have no idea who this guy calling himself Seasick Steve actually is: He’s [...]
Belated Congratulations to Obama and the American People 2008-11-12 10:54:18 All at the Sussex Amateur Brain Surgery Club wish to congratulate Barrack Obama
and the American
people on the results of their recent general election.
Even the Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, congratulated Barrack Obama on his election win. This is the first time since the 1979 islamic revolution that an Iranian leader has made such positive [...] Read more:Congratulations
The Nurse thinks again about religious people 2008-10-28 10:54:52 The Nurse
knows what she likes, and she likes what she knows.
But that doesn’t mean she’s inflexible.
The Nurse is busy luring the Screws into a false sense of security. Behind that meaty, mild exterior lurks a razor sharp intelligence and a burning desire to escape. But she’s biding her time.
In the meantime she’s allowed occasional visitors. Her friend X has been Read more:people
, religious
Recession: a self fulfilling prophecy 2008-10-22 02:50:05 The Nurse watches, aghast, as the outside world goes insane.
A long-forgotten lunatic asylum on a wild moor. That’s where The Nurse whiles away the long days, hours, months, years and decades.
If she hadn’t managed to get hold of a laptop a few years back, she’d be completely ignorant of the outside world. The Nurse enjoys following the machinations [...] Read more:Recession
Popular Churches Provide Parking Lot Ministries 2008-11-24 08:51:26 America takes religion seriously. Unlike their British counterparts many American churches have been enjoying expanding congregations and, come Sunday, their parking lots fill to capacity.
To help with the inevitable congestion at this busy time of the week many churches now use specialist teams, or parking ministries, to help church goers find a parking space and [...] Read more:Churches
, Ministries
, Parking
The Obama feel good factor 2008-11-19 14:06:24 The Nurse is excited about Obama
’s inauguration in January.
She can’t remember the last time she was excited about politics. For years she has been variously exasperated, bored, frustrated, maddened and rendered comatose. Seldom has she felt positive or hopeful.
But this is different. She’d go as far as to admit that Obama’s victory gave her a little Kennedy moment, sq Read more:factor
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