Owner: "Ex" Marks the Spot . . . Humor from a Has-Been URL:www.blondesherry.blogspot.com Join Date: Tue, 24 Jun 2008 09:39:17 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Humor from a Has-Been: ex-politician, ex-commissioner, ex-wife, ex-teacher. Embarrassing Moments, Children's Antics, Senior Moments, Work Humor and more. Occasional serious posts. Site statistics:Click here
The Answer is "No" - But What is The Question? 2008-06-23 09:15:00 It was a Saturday afternoon and I was at home with the three children, all of whom were young at the time.
According to the newspaper’s TV schedule, a show was coming on late that afternoon about teaching children how to say “no” to strangers. Excellent, I thought. As a mother of youngsters, I wanted them to stay away from strangers and not to be tempted ever by candy or any o Read more:Question
Puns Intended 2008-06-23 09:07:00 [I don't usually post things I haven't written, but the following was sent from a friend - and I just had to share. I love words, puns & word games, and some of these are superb!]
Humor For Lexophiles (Lovers of Words)
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose
It's June. That Means Weddings 2008-06-17 21:09:00 Art Linkletter was right when he said that “kids say the darndest things.”
And they say those things at the darndest times. All parents learn this at some point – and usually many times over as their children grow.
I remember the first time we took our children to a wedding. We weren’t breaking any rules because children were invited to the wedding. And since I had the children in church e Read more:Means
, Weddings
Oh, Mom, You Didn't! 2008-06-16 23:44:00 Mom always worked outside the home. Quite frankly, if she hadn’t needed to and wanted to, she probably would have – just as a means of escape from her five children. But I digress.
She traveled a good bit with her job, including numerous flights from Columbia (SC) to Chicago. On one particular occasion, she had important meetings scheduled in Chicago and couldn’t quite decide
Food for Thought - What do YOU Think? 2008-06-16 23:29:00 Yes, this is food for thought, and I’d really like to know what you think. Sometimes I just get these random thoughts or questions stuck in my head. Here are a few.
Which is correct: Politics is or Politics are? Grits is or Grits are? Family is or Family are? Variety is or Variety are? Mull these over, then share what seems right to you, okay?
And speaking of food for thought – What a waste!!!
Father's Day - Without My Dad 2008-06-15 19:23:00 NOTE: Usually I post only light-hearted stuff, but today is Father
's Day, so I'm doing something a little different. It has been 7 years since my dad died. The following is what I wrote that appeared on the op/ed page of Charleston's Post and Courier on my first Father's Day without Dad:
This is my first Father’s Day ever without a father.
He was “Dad” for 52 years and now he’s gone, but
Children and Laundry - A Perfect Match? 2008-06-13 13:43:00 All three of my children started washing their own clothes at relatively young ages. The youngest, Mandy, was only three-years-old when she first began this chore.
But it wasn’t a chore to her. She was getting to do the very same thing her older siblings were doing, and, boy, was she excited! Since it was a top-loading washing machine, I had to pick her up and hold her so that she could drop her Read more:Children
, Laundry
, Perfect
, Match
, Perfect Match
He injured WHAT??? 2008-06-10 08:29:00 I don’t know a whole lot about sports, although I know there are lessons to be learned from sports.
Over the years, my children played soccer, softball, football and volleyball; one ran track; all three were on swim teams, so I’m gradually catching on.
The Ex – the second (and last) one – didn’t care a thing about sports. He never even knew which sport was being played during what season Read more:injured
One little bitty letter 2008-06-06 19:53:00 Isn’t it strange what a difference one word can make? Even one little
letter in a word – in the wrong place – can make a whole lot of difference.
For example, I remember - well, this is going to sound perfectly awful – but I remember reading an obituary that made me laugh. The decedent had been a member of the Bethel United Methodist Women. Unfortunately, two of letters in one word had bee
Ugh - or Yuck! 2008-06-05 00:23:00 I have a weak stomach. And I have a terrible gag reflex.
This is not a “fun” thing; it’s just something I cannot help. If a doctor needs to use a “stick” to check my throat, I gag. I mean really gag. But the stick is nothing compared to the smells. Certain smells just make me sick to my stomach.
Somehow – I don’t know how – but somehow, I’ve been able to handle changing dirty dia
A Kunkle? 2008-06-03 10:43:00 Ever had a kunkle? Or maybe the word is cunkle? Or cunkel? Cuncle?
Well, whatever the spelling, some folks in my family are getting one. I think what I’m getting is a cousband or husin.
Confused? Read on. It gets more confusing.
Within a few days, my ex-husband is marrying my second cousin. Talk about “All in the Family” -- this is the reality show!
When I e-mailed various family members wit
Dreaded Middle-of-the-Night Phone Call 2008-05-27 11:35:00 Every parent dreads the middle-of-the-night phone call.
I’ve gotten one of those calls. It was over a decade ago; my daughter had been in a wreck and wasn’t expected to survive. (She did, but that’s a whole story by itself.)
Parents fear those calls with good reason, and once a parent receives one, the dread increases. I got to the point that any ringing phone which roused me from sleep caus Read more:Night
Who Needs a Home Phone? 2008-05-23 10:55:00 I don’t have a home phone. Haven’t had one in a long time.
With the popularity of cell phones, home phones seem dispensable at certain stages of life. Recently, though, I began thinking perhaps I’ve passed from needing a home phone to not needing one and then back again to needing one. I misplaced the cell phone. Well, maybe misplaced is too mild; I absolutely lost the phone. I looked everyw Read more:Needs
Why Are Those People Staring at Me? 2008-05-14 07:09:00 One day, I decided to dress up for work. Navy business suit with a red sleeveless sweater underneath and conservative navy pumps for a professional look.
During the day, however, I felt that people were staring. Maybe I was being paranoid; I didn't quite know. A visitor at work looked at me funny. At lunch, folks seemed to gaze at me with funny looks on their faces. I knew my old suit wasn't a Read more:Staring
Are You Part-time? 2008-05-08 22:02:00 If you’ve ever looked at want ads/classified ads in the newspaper, you’ve probably seen one advertising an opening for a part-time person.
Do you know anyone who is a part-time person? If so, what is he or she the rest of the time? Couldn’t the ad be worded for part-time work instead “Part-time Person Wanted.”
Sometimes the wording of things makes me laugh – or just wonder.
I was at a
Ah, Motherhood! Toothpicks & Barbie's Clothes 2008-05-02 04:07:00 Years ago, I was scheduled as the after-dinner speaker for an organization. We were almost through with the meal, when I got an urgent message to call home. Since this was before the widespread prevalence of cell phones, I excused myself to find a phone and make that call.
I quickly learned one of my daughters was on the way to the hospital; she had a toothpick stuck in her thigh! Yes, a Read more:Motherhood
, Barbie
, Clothes
Show-and-Tell! 2008-04-24 21:20:00 Children just love show-and-tell time at school, don’t they?
Show-and-tell is an exciting time for children to share something important to them and to share a glimpse into their lives away from the classroom. It’s a time for children to gain confidence in making presentations in front of others.
Years ago, I was filled with pride when my fifth-grade son asked me if I would go with him for the
Movies 2008-04-22 00:44:00 Moviegoers – like movies – are varied. Some folks are avid moviegoers and want to be first seeing the newest flicks; many others rarely take in a movie.
My dad was in the latter category. For one thing, he thought spending money on movies was somewhat wasteful. His other reason was that he didn’t want to hear bad words or off-color language. Of course, to him, pregnant was a word that should
Strong Medicine 2008-04-16 15:58:00 I felt weird when I got out of bed one morning not long ago. Nothing in particular but just an odd feeling.
By the time I got to work, the odd sensation had changed. It had become – diarrhea. You know that feeling, don’t you?
Thank goodness, it was more of an inconvenience than anything else during the first part of the work day, but the “symptoms” got a little worse as the day wore on. Read more:Strong
, Medicine
We Speak a Funny Language 2008-04-07 21:13:00 The way we talk is strange, isn’t it? I don’t mean our particular accents or twangs; I’m referring to the English language in general. American English, that is.
Think about it. If we have more than one mouse, we have mice. More than one louse is lice. But no realtor ever lists several hice on the market; the listings are for houses. Elizabeth Taylor and Zsa Zsa Gabor had spouses, not spice. Read more:Funny
I do not sew! 2008-04-03 07:30:00 Alterations shops are lifesavers to me.
Well, maybe this isn’t a big deal to those of you who are seamstresses, but, unfortunately, I am not in that group. I do not sew. At all.
In case of emergency, I have been known to use Scotch tape to repair a hemline. Otherwise, I rely on safety pins for emergency situations.
So, years ago, when my older daughter was in kindergarten, I was less than
New Roomie 2008-04-03 07:26:00 I thought I’d share this news with family, friends and even strangers at the same time: I’ve got a new roommate!
I can’t tell you his name because, the truth is, that I haven’t met him yet. But I know he’s here. The signs are obvious.
The way that I know he’s here is that I keep finding things in the oddest places, and I’m quite confident I’ve not put them there. This is also why I
Work!!!! 2008-07-07 20:33:00 The following was sent by a friend. It is SO appropriate! It hits home!
Ponder this:
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk I have a work station .........
Childhood Fashion: Is There Such a Thing? 2008-07-05 14:30:00 At an early age, daughter Mandy seemed to think she was a fashionista. Even as a four-year-old, she thought she knew more about what to wear than I did.
Rather than doing battle in picking out clothes for kindergarten every day, I usually picked out two or three possible outfits and then let her select one of those. She wasn’t always happy with that method, but it worked for a while.
By first Read more:Childhood
, Fashion
, Thing
Independence Day Snow?????? 2008-07-04 23:19:00 I’ve never lived anywhere other than South Carolina, so I can go several years without seeing snow.
Shoot, I can even go a decade without seeing snow.
The Upstate – Greenville, Spartanburg and surrounding areas – may get some snow each year. Even the Midlands – Lexington, Columbia and such – may get a little bit of snow on occasion. But the Lowcountry – Summerville, Charleston and coas Read more:Independence
, Independence Day
What Was That Song? 2008-07-04 23:17:00 Perhaps you’ve read or heard the news out of Denver this week: a woman was invited to sing the National Anthem before Mayor John Hickenlooper gave his annual “State of the City” address.
Only problem is that the singer, Rene Marie, used only the tune of the anthem; she substituted the words of “Lift Every Voice” for those of the “Star-Spangled Banner.” She didn’t ask permission to
Can You Imagine? 2008-07-03 17:54:00 [Note: a serious post this time.]
Can you imagine missing over five years with your family?
I can’t.
As I’ve watched news about the rescue of the three American contractors, Ingrid Betancourt and others in Colombia, missing special times with family is one of things I’ve thought about. Betancourt, standing next to her 22-year-old daughter and 19-year-old son, mentioned some of the changes in Read more:Imagine
A Favorite Sign 2008-07-01 19:09:00 This sign is at Kinard Conference Center near Leesville, SC. Don't you just love it??? Read more:Favorite
No title 2008-07-01 16:01:00 Yesterday I left hot, humid coastal South Carolina and flew to the Mile-High City of Denver to take care of three-month-old Harrison for a week. Harrison (see pictures on the left-hand side of the page - PLEASE) is the only grandchild (so far) and I am delighted to spend time with him.
Anyway, I learned something on the flight from Atlanta to Denver. [Yes, most southerners have to fly through
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