Owner: A Smeddling Kiss URL:http://asmeddlingkiss.blogspot.com Join Date: Sat, 10 Mar 2007 11:55:27 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Velma is, alas, a psuedonym. I live with my family on Cape Cod, where I attempt to successfully blend in with the normal folk. You'd never guess the darkness that lurks in my heart. (Insert evil cackle and rubbing of hands together.)
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Thankful (144/365) 2007-11-19 18:53:00 Even when they are driving me batshit crazy, I'm so thankful for these two.I'm still sick and miserable, so a photo post will have to do for today. I'm loaded up on the prescription cough syrup, using my inhaler every 4 hours, and my ribs are killing me. Fun! Read more:Thankful
Deep Breath... uuuuuuuuhhhhhh.... hhhuuuummmmm (152/365) 2007-11-28 22:43:00 OK, I'm over my snit about not making it through NaBloPoMo. If I hadn't blown it on Monday, I would have blown it for sure yesterday, which will forever be known as The Night Pepper Forgot How To Sleep. She has always been a rather awake kid, stopping her regular nap at 18 months old, never sleeping for more than about 9 hours straight like... ever. Which, if you are familiar with children's sleeping habits, is like the bare minimum they can sleep and remain sane - you AND them. I have a friend, who I first met soon after we moved to Cape Cod. At the time we met, we each had a single child, and as we got to know each other, I was amazed at how much she seemed able to accomplish compared to my meager starts and fits at organization. It got to the point where I seriously doubted my own abilities as a mom and competent person, because in the time it took me to do and fold a couple loads of laundry, she would have refinished furniture and started a business. It took me a couple months t Read more:Breath
Crapitty Crap Crap (151/365) 2007-11-27 07:15:00 Well, shoot. I never posted yesterday, so I blew NaBloPoMo with only 4 days to go. Ah, fuck it. I fell asleep on the floor of Pepper's room after reading to her and didn't wake up until almost midnight, when I stumbled downstairs into my own bed. I blame 12 days of illness.Wah.
It Was A Very Loooooooong Long Weekend (150/365) 2007-11-25 16:29:00 I'm looking forward to getting back to our regular routine tomorrow. This was a very long vacation, one that felt far longer than 5 days, despite my spending so much of it asleep. I'm really hoping Peanut is feeling well enough for school, because I've got things to do, man! (I guess those steroids are working pretty well, eh?) He's developed either a second cold or a very nasty Stage 2 of the original one he came home with a week and a half ago, but he's acting like he feels better. Sounds like an emphysemic old man, looks crusty around the nasal area, but seems to otherwise be a happy camper.Pepper had a playdate today, and when I dropped her off, her friend's mom was addressing Christmas cards. I was impressed, and since had I promised myself that this year, I would get them out on time and do it on-line, I came home and started entering addresses into my Shutterfly account. My sisters started doing this a few years ago, and rave about the fact that all they have to do now is Read more:Weekend
, Long Weekend
Sleeping for Dummies (154/365) 2007-12-05 22:30:00 I need to reacquaint myself with some of the "helping your child get to sleep" information I pored over when Pepper was younger. She doesn't need much sleep to begin with, and has always been very easily awakened. I could never transfer her from her car seat to her crib, and when she got older, I used to frantically try to wake her if she slept in the car, since she would push back her evening sleep for whatever amount she slept in the afternoon. When we first moved to Cape Cod, I would put her in the car, drive away from the house for 30 minutes exploring, then drive 30 minutes back home and that would be her nap time. At 18 months she gave up napping regularly, and at her daycare, they would just sit her in the corner with some puzzles while the other kids slept.She eventually got a fairly consistent sleep routine going, but is lately having a hard time falling asleep. I suspect that there are some physical changes going on, since she is eating like a horse and has grown almost 2 i Read more:Sleeping
, Dummies
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! (153/365) 2007-12-02 16:03:00 Originally posted at New England Mamas_______________________________________Holy freakin' ice cubes, Batman! Who turned off the furnace? What happened to my mild fall weather? And most importantly, where the heck are my gloves?This will be our third winter in our house, and we are starting to get a routine for the winterizing tasks. The humidifier attached to the furnace gets switched on and the air vents in the family room get closed so that more hot air flows into the kids' bedrooms. The poor neglected grill finally gets hauled down from the upper-story deck to the basement, usually with some cursing and a banged up finger or two.We are also starting the holiday activities, and this is really the first year that we actually have traditions to follow from last year. Up until last year, we didn't even bother to put up a tree until the last minute due to my son's astounding toddler ability to destroy any object in 3 minutes or less, which has thankfully abated with time. I w
New Yach-k City (158/365) 2007-12-16 19:50:00 We've had many desultory conversations about the proper pronounciation of the above phrase, from a New England perspective, over the last two days. 4+ hours in a car with two children will do that to you. "New Yawk?" "New Yak?" I stand by my conviction, arrived at around Mystic, CT, that you should pronounce it like the word "yahct". Don't you wish you could drive cross-country with MY family? The best part, for me, was the fact that Dr. V. apparently dressed himself out of the "dirty" clothes hamper in a corduroy shirt he'd shovelled the driveway wearing two days previous. The resulting odor led to my gagging and sniffing and moaning for the first two hours of the trip while he ignored me and insisted he didn't smell anything and a showdown in CT when I pulled into a rest stop and insisted that he pull something out of the suitcase and change.Admit it - you really want to travel with us now, yeah?Anyway, it was actually an easy trip - the kids were great, hardly any moaning
I'm So Glad This Day Is Over (157/365) 2007-12-12 21:14:00 Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been some terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day around here. It's just been a day that I've been dreading for a while, a day which included a stranger prodding me in the anus and a bunch of Girl Scouts.Hmmmm, that came out wrong, and possibly like something I might get into legal trouble over. What I mean is that I (1) had to have my annual gynecological exam this morning and (2) had to lead my very first ever Girl Scout meeting this afternoon, two things which rank pretty high on the old "anxiety-provoking" meter.The exam went fine. As any woman reading this knows, you just lie back and think of England. I got felt up, poked, scraped, poked again in a slightly different place, and voila! Done for another year, except I gotta go get my boobies squished in January again. My mom had breast cancer at a young-ish age, so now that I'm over 40 I go put my honkers in the vise every year, just for kicks.The Girl Scout meeting went fine, too. I got all OC
I Feel Random, Oh So Random! (156/365) 2007-12-10 10:08:00 I'm "liveblogging" in front of the television this morning, where both Martha Stewart and Rachel Ray are losing their voices. I didn't realize that Dr. Phil's "Dr. Phil House," where dysfunctional people go to stay and hash out their various issues, has taken on the new name of the "House of Judgement." Oh, right - this is why I watch so little television. "It's all dreck," I say, shaking my tiny, impotent fists.(I'm not sure where that came from. I apologize to any of my tiny and/or impotent readers.)_________________________We had a nice weekend here at Chez Velma. We put up the tree and decorated it on Saturday, and then ditched the kids and went out to dinner and a Christmas party. For once, we were not the last couple there, mostly because Dr. V. had a big day to get ready for on Sunday. POP QUIZ! If the football game begins at 4:15 and the drive to the stadium is approximately an hour, what time should you leave to maximize pointless tailgating time? If you guessed 1 Read more:Random
Check Out Our New England Mamas Blog! (155/365) 2007-12-07 08:28:00 We've been busy over at the New England
Mamas Blog! One of my favorite bloggers, Mrs. Chicky, had this great idea for a regional group blog a while back, and I jumped at the chance to be one of the contributors. We have many mamas from all over New England, and we are actually a pretty diverse bunch. I've been enjoying getting to know the other Mamas, and I hope if you are reading this, you'll give the New England Mamas a look as well. Read more:Check
Counting The Days (160/365) 2007-12-23 20:08:00 Peanut woke me up with the following monologue yesterday morning, whispered gutturally at high speed:"TodayisSaturdayandSaturdayisnoschool, andtomorrowisSundayanditis twodaystoChristmas, andthenitisMondayand itisonedaytoChristmas, andthenitis CHRISTMAS!"Boy, that kid can whisper loudly.The last few days have been filled with good cheer, stuff like handing out little tokens of appreciation to teachers and bus drivers and speech therapists. I attended Peanut's preschool party and helped him build his "gingerbread house."I handled the construction parts and he took care of the decorating. I think we make a good team and should probably consider opening up a Mom/Son fake gingerbread house construction business. OK, I did do the pretzel walkway and the spiral of licorice around the tree, but he really had some definite opinions on the placement of gumdrops and candy canes.I enjoyed the sight of all the kids doing the "Reindeer Hokey Pokey," but have to admit to thinking that my little Pean Read more:Counting
The End Of The Road (159/365) 2007-12-21 12:07:00 The Radio City Christmas Spectacular wasn't scary at all, according to Peanut. He was talking about the dancing Santas, the organ music, the full orchestra, and 30 odd Rockettes prancing about. I found it terrifying, in the "$7 for a small bag of popcorn" sense, but the actual experience was fun.Did you know that a cheeseburger at a T.G.I.Fridays in Manhattan costs $17.95? Of course, you do get fries with that. Do you notice a theme here? It's not that we minded spending the money - we are well aware of how fortunate we are and were planning to blow a bundle on the hotel, etc. - but rather the sheer sticker shock of it all. $5.49 for a box of cornflakes! The afternoon was spent at the American Museum of Natural History. The kids loved it last year, and then "Night at the Museum" came out on DVD and we watched it eleventy-bajillion times, and so they were twice as excited this year. They wanted to see the stuff they remembered as well as the stuff from the movie. The only thing we ski
I'm Just Exhausted! (161/365) 2007-12-26 20:24:00 I'm so very tired tonight - not from all the cooking and wrapping and cleaning and Christmas - but from my oh-so-hard day after Christmas. I had to eat turkey, and play with Polly Pocket's Triple Decker bus, and make vacation plans, and catch up on past seasons of "Project Runway." God, that Wendy Pepper. I just don't know what to make of her... not that anyone cares, I know, just babbling here, thanks.The kids are in our bedroom, lolling around on the bed making shadow puppets while Dr. V. attempts to read. I am mentally adrift, because it seems as if all the urgency has been sucked out of the world in a single day and when there is nothing I *need* to do? I'm a turnip. Tomorrow, however, I have big, big, big plans. Plans that include the letters "I," "E," "K," and "A," although not in that order. This may be my stupidest post ever, but I'm too turnip-ey to try to make it better. Go forth and read something better, now that you have beheld the splendor of my vegged-out pro
The Weeks Zip By 2008-03-10 19:48:00 These last few weeks have been a little too crazy for me to be comfortable with, but I knew this would happen. Way back, when there was all that ridiculous drama about the big high school musical production, I knew that if we got involved, we'd be sucked right in until the last performance. Add in another school activity that just happens to culminate the same damn weekend as the musical, and I knew I was screwed. But you just do this stupid stuff when you are a parent.But wait! Before I forget! We got a new mattress, lo these many weeks ago. After much online research, I fell in theoretical love with this company, Keetsa. I would have adored buying a mattress from them, except I make it a policy to not spend wads o' cash on items I've never actually been able to check out in person Read more:Weeks
It's Official: I Suck! 2008-03-04 21:59:00 I got lulled into a false sense of security the last time I took Peanut to the dentist. He was so charming and accommodating that when they asked me if I'd like to schedule both kids together the next time, I agreed. Today, I paid the price.Their behavior was actually not all that bad. Peanut, in fact, was pretty darn chipper and charming. Pepper was her usual overly-sensitive self, cringing at every tooth scrape until the hygienist kicked me out. She apparently toughened up once I was out of earshot, big surprise.It was a horrible experience for me, however. We had some admittedly bad dental hygiene in this family a couple years ago, but we changed our ways. No more watered down juice near bedtime, regular brushing, no more fruit snacks ever - these things all helped. After a laps Read more:Official
My New Technological Crush 2008-03-02 16:05:00 (cross-posted from the New England Mamas blog)__________________________Everyone I know is busy these days. School activities, doctor's appointments, work deadlines - it seems that I hardly have time to connect with anyone. As my kids get older, I seem to be spending a lot more time out of the house and on the run. When I'm home, I'm on my laptop e-mailing away, but outside the house I'm reliant on my cell phone. I get a lot of my communicating done while waiting at the bus stop or sitting in a parking lot before I head into wherever I'm going next. I try not to talk on the phone while I'm driving, but yes - sometimes I'm guilty of that, too.The worst thing about this perpetual bustling around (aside from a renewed love affair with caffeine and the no-longer-startling discovery at the end
Power Plays 2008-02-29 20:51:00 There has been so much going on in my life these day that I just can't share on-line.It TOTALLY sucks!I blog to release so much internal conflict, even when I am just goofing around when I write. As the kids get older, though, I've made an effort to preserve more privacy, detail less of the actual day-to-day identifying activities. With Pepper, in particular, I find myself editing. I don't want to share too much, because you know what happens? Suddenly your cute little puppet children of 3 and 4 and 5 begin to turn into real people. Let's call it the "Geppetto Syndrome."Pepper turned 8 this week. I don't mean to discount the whole "babies-are-people-too" crowd, but lets face it. Anyone who has ever been responsible for the care and feeding of a 3 or 4 year old will attest to their b Read more:Plays
Goodbye, February! 2008-02-27 21:59:00 I'm looking forward to writing "March" on all my dated documents. March is wet, yes, and slightly longer, okay, but it also brings us that much closer to spring. And for that? I love you, March.The past week has been a blur. Honestly, I can't believe a week has gone by and I haven't posted here. Not only that, but I missed my weekly posting at the New England Mamas blog when we were in Bermuda a week and a half ago, and then? I totally forgot about it until, like, today. Uhm. Yeah.It was a busy week. Friday, we had a snowstorm, and for once I got off my duff when a friend called and wanted to meet and do something active with the kids. (Thanks to Cami and my attempts to be a Fit Friend this month.) We were supposed to just have a playdate, but when my friend called and said, "He Read more:Goodbye
, February
Ketchup 2008-02-21 16:28:00 The Bermuda glow only lasted a day or two, just until my stomach decided to rebel against being involuntarily hauled back to New England. While I like the idea of a whimsically bratty stomach, kicking and screaming after being deprived of island deliciousness, it is more likely that I caught a virus. Tuesday night I woke up with horrific cramps and other lovely symptoms which deserve their own adjectives, like "copious" and "explosive."Wednesday was more of the same, only helped by Dr. V. having taken a vacation day. I would have been calling the emergency babysitter backup in otherwise. He and the kids went to the movies and the arcade, and I went to the bathroom and to bed.I was concerned about missing the intake appointment today for Peanut's upcoming evaluations, but apparently if Read more:Ketchup
Here's A Tease... 2008-02-18 20:01:00 View from the hotel room balcony:What I spent most of the afternoon doing on Sunday:Yes, feel free to hate me now. I'd hate me, too, but I already have to deal with the needy children who I ABANDONED FOR A WHOLE 57 HOURS. The way they are acting, you'd think they were kept in a cage for the whole weekend, instead of being trotted around town and taken to science fairs and museums and ice cream parlours and being thrown early birthday celebrations. I don't care, though - it was so worth it. It feels like we were gone for a week, easily. Read more:Tease
I Don't Know Where I'm Going With This, But My Bags Are Packed. 2008-02-15 08:44:00 Hey! Remember that time I wrote a post about my disdain for consumer-driven romantic gestures? And before that, I bitched and moaned about how I never got to have any fun and I'm so under-appreciated and blathered on wah wah wah?Yeah, well, color me sheepish, or maybe a particularly florid shade of abashed, because I'm being dragged off to a mysterious romantic locale this weekend for 2 kid-free nights.(Bermuda.)I'm not supposed to know that, but thanks to e-mail programs that automatically log you in as the last person who logged in (and husbands who use their wife's computer and then forget to reset the log-in information), I got a glimpse of an e-mail headed "... your upcoming trip to Bermuda." I didn't tell Dr. V., though - he's having too much fun pretending to torture me this we Read more:Going
, Packed
Where Has The Romance Gone? 2008-02-11 07:21:00 I'm pretty sure I speak for many, many women when I share my distaste for Valentine's Day. All of the cloying commercials - the bedecking of diamonds that is obviously going on in every 2-parent household in America except mine - really grate on my last nerve. Me? I look at those commercials and grit my teeth in appalled cynicism while the music fades away, muttering under my breath about the projected cost of a college education in 10 years and the wretched poor around the world who dig those diamonds out of the earth.Boy, I sound like heaps of fun, don't I? I know you want to invite me over now! Let me explain. I have been a lucky woman on the romance front. My husband and I met in 22 years ago in college, when he was 18 and I was 20. I'd had one other serious boyfriend, who brok Read more:Romance
The Weekend So Far In Numbers 2008-02-09 11:33:00 9: The approximate number of child-free hours I have to myself today, thanks to my lovely mother-in-law's kind offer to take the kids off my hands for the day.1: The minimum number of trips I have planned to the dump, depending if I can get all the trash I've been piling up in the basement into a single van load.3: The number of laundry loads already washed and dried.0: The number of laundry loads put away.48: Woo hoo! My new highest level score ever reached on FreeRice.com, no doubt thanks to not being interrupted every 3 minutes. I was in the obscure vocabulary zone, man!143: The number of feeds I now subscribe to in my feed reader.2.25: The number of solitary hours I've already wasted fucking around online.12:33: The current time. Now I am going to turn off the television and Read more:Weekend
, Numbers
One Thing That Happened This Week That Didn't Involve Bodily Fluids 2008-02-08 14:01:00 After dilly-dallying around forever about pursuing a definitive diagnosis for Peanut, we are finally going to have a multi-day evaluation done in the next month. We've run into various hurdles trying to get him seen at some of the larger children's hospital programs up in Boston (don't take our insurance, can't see us for months, lost our paperwork, can see us but only when we are already going to be out of town, and best of all, multiple attempts at attending appointments only to foiled by Peanut vomiting all over the car on the trip up. Twice that happened, and I had to cancel appointments we'd waited months for.)We have finally decided that now is the time for an independent evaluation, and after talking to other parents of developmentally delayed kids we know, ended up discovering a Read more:Thing
, Involve
, Fluids
Day 6 In Lockdown 2008-02-05 12:31:00 As usual, I exaggerate.But that's surely what it feels like today. Yes, I'm in PRISON, okay? Stuck in my cell at the Federal Penitentiary of Motherville, serving out my life sentence for the crime of procreation. Peanut is home sick again, having climbed into bed with us at 6:30 a.m. and scorching our bed with his body heat. Helluva time putting that one out. OK, yes, that's another exaggeration. You got me.Pepper's fever broke yesterday, but the consumptive-opera-heroine-in-a-garret behavior lingered, making her a royal pain to get ready for school this morning. I have no idea where she gets that from, all that unnecessary drama. Hmmmmph.I signed right up for Cami's "Fit Friends" February last week, thinking that this was perfect timing to get my exercise schedule back on target. B Read more:Lockdown
Monday ALREADY? 2008-02-04 12:23:00 Well, shucks! I can't buh-leeve it! Golly, this weekend just flew by! Illness Status: one still feverish and congested, the other just congested. Easier to just keep them both home today so I can legitimately skip various kid activities, so we're home today. Dr. V. called to say his flight will probably be delayed, given the large amount of traffic flying out of Phoenix this morning. I'm bummed he won't be home earlier, but also psyched, because he got the kids presents. This means I have something to hold over their heads all day to keep them in line!We did end up going out to big old evil Wal Mart yesterday. There was no vomiting. "Mary Poppins" was purchased and duly watched. Today we plan to make a big batch of Grandma's Chocolate Chip Cookies for the election day bake sale Read more:Monday
An Ethical Conundrum, If You Will 2008-02-03 09:44:00 Or, as Clint Eastwood once said, "Do you feel lucky, punk?"I'm debating hauling the children to Wal-Mart, and here is my internal monologue: ______________Pro: It will give us something to do this afternoon, since the kids are totally cabin-and-otherwise feverish.Con: I will have to fork over money to the evil empire.______________Pro: We will come home with things we need, like juice and bread.Con: We will come home with things we don't need, like one under $10 landfill-clogging toy per kid._______________Pro: We might be able to find a copy of "Mary Poppins" on DVD, something the kids having been begging for and which will buy me hours of peace.Con: I will spend the rest of the week trying to get the word "supercalifragilistic" out of my head._______________Pro: I really need to g Read more:Conundrum
Even Grumpier 2008-02-02 08:24:00 I've only got two words to share this morning.Those words are "stomach" and "flu."Kill me now, please.
Grumpy Women Are No Fun To Talk To 2008-02-01 06:18:00 I am crabby, crabby, crabby today. Yes, the grumpy woman in question is me. Dr. V. is going to the Superbowl after all, and I am feeling discontented and mean.Last August, he and his best friend decided to be wildly optimistic about the Patriots this year. They booked (refundable) airline tickets to Phoenix for this weekend, reserved a car and a hotel room, and proceeded to thoroughly enjoy the football season. His friend has season tickets, and they went to almost every home game. In my van, which inevitably comes back to me smelling of grilled meat and ass.So, we've been respectfully discussing the ridiculous price of Superbowl tickets over the last few weeks. By "discussing," I mean him wheedling about "history" and me stomping around muttering nasty things about idiots who would Read more:Women
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