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How to be a regular Exerciser 2007-03-09 09:16:00 Photo: Akuzawa Minoru demonstrates his body control and balance with the assistance of a heavier partnerWhether or not you are motivated by sport, the condition of your body makes a big difference on your daily experience, your health, and how well you perform in other areas of your life. On top of the actual experience of enjoying a well conditioned body, there is also a host of statistical evidence that positively relates regular
moderate exercise to health. It makes sense to exercise.At the same time many people do not exercise regularly. I am not going to ask why not? That question has the wonderful effect of helping entrench people in their reasons 'why not.'Rather I am going to to go over some of the mental strategies that regular exercisers use.1. Enjoy exerciseEnjoyment and pleasure is a state, an attitude. There are certain kinds of exercise that are probably beyond my ability to do, so I will not do them. However there is plenty within my range that I can do safely, and at Read more:Exerciser
Living treasures 2007-03-08 11:59:00 Luo De Xiu pushing me at his seminar in Rennes 2006There are people I meet who inspire me. They have such knowledge, grace or skill that I think it would be a great loss to humanity if they were to disappear from the planet. Some of my martial arts teachers fall into this category. I always feel amazed when I see the grace, power and clarity of their movement. Some of my NLP or Hypnosis teachers as well. They have a combination of refined skill, and a deep humanity. Most often they have a sparkle to their eye and a shining enthusiam for life.Probably you know someone, or you know of someone who you view this way. If you do not go out and find someone, and spend some time with them.Our society honours these people, or at least some of them. They may receive prizes and awards. Their funerals are well attended. This is doubly true if the area of their mastery is something that the media finds it easy to sell.Yet I think it is strange that I and others may value these people more than othe Read more:Living
, treasures
politically correct for you're a *****er 2007-02-27 13:28:00 Studying NLP or hypnosis it usually gives an extra dimension to the appreciation of language. NLPers become increasingly aware of embedded commands, hypnotic suggestions or unwitting implications that slip into their own and other people's language.This is great. It allows for really precise communication, sometimes...On the other hand since some NLPers can be relentlessly positive there can also be a shadow side to this. Intelligent, sensitive aware people who are still often human in some of the most petty ways. So just like the euphemisms used in Human Resources or the military, I have observed some interesting ways of hiding barbs in NLP based language.Below are some examples of the correct NLP way to say something, and its translation into something more... sincereNot all NLPers do this, and not allo f the time. But when they do you can usually tell by the slightly forced quality of the smile they put on while speaking. 'Your map is different from mine' = 'You're wrong!'' Read more:politically
, politically correct
Knowing a cup of tea 2007-02-27 00:14:00 Photo Nice Cup of Tea by snappysmashingbloke This is another thought experiment. I like this one as a way of getting less certain about how much we know. I like being less certain about how much I know, because it loosens up my mental models, and helps keep me enjoying life in fresh, new ways. Loosening mental models is also a good exercise in developing new ones - also known as learning.Simply take a household object (a cup, a pillow, a book...) and spend 20-30 minutes noticing everything about it you possibly can. Look at it from all angles, touch, listen to and smell it (taste it?). Do you think you know everything about it yet? Are there parts that you cannot see - can your senses really catch everything about it? Are there details too small, too subtle, too hidden to notice? If you think you know everything then ask yourself this... Would a dog/electron microscope/dolphin or amoeba have a different knowledge of this object than you? Can you know everything about where it came fro
Thought Experiments 2007-02-27 00:01:00 A thought experiment can include any deliberate application of the imagination with the aim of testing a theory. Einstein used thought experiments in developing the theory of relativity - he imagined he was sitting on a photon travelling at the speed of light - and the consequences that would have for perception. Nikola Tesla the inventor who in the late 19th and early twentieth centuries discovered and designed much of the technology that we take for granted today (accumulating over 700 patents on the way) used a sophisticated form of thought experiment. Before building a machine in his laboratory he would construct in his imagination, run it and see if it developed any problems or unanticipated effects. You can choose to think of NLP's presuppositions as thought experiments. Also 'as if' frame statements can serve as thought experiments. You can ask what would it be like if .... I've described a few thought experiments in the posts below. Try them out if you like, and you can wri
Getting into your Skull 2007-02-26 23:12:00 Photo Frazier Mtn~ 12/09/05 by FrazierMtnMomIn the Norse creation myth three brothers Odin, Vili and Ve made the earth from the body of a giant called Ymir. They made the sky from his skull and the clouds from his brains. Norse stories do not skimp on blooody anatomical detail. Neuroscience suggest that what we perceive as being outside of ourselves is actually a model constructed by our minds. In other words everything under the sky is actually inside our skulls... In this thought experiment try to remain conscious of this idea. Whenever you experience something as outside of you remember that you are creating the representation of that thing in the space between your ears. Do this for a day and notice what happens. Then as the zen saying goes, you may be able to drink the Pacific ocean in a single gulp. Photo: Pacific Ocean by shesnuckinfuts Read more:Skull
Underemployed Coaches 2007-02-16 10:19:00 ruby slippers and phone by gwENvision I do not know if you have noticed, but the world is full of underemployed coaches. Go to almost any networking meeting and you are sure to meet one or two coaches a little too eager to explain how you can be and achieve so much more.I am curious about this. It is partly a result of all the hype. There has been so much hype about coaching. In France the word hardly means anything. If you are not sure what the word for a coach is in French it is le coach (and yes there is also le coaching). It covers everything from personal trainer, to personal shopper, with some potential for psychologist thrown in.I blame the training organisations. For years now training organisations have been telling people ‘Coaching is the fastest growing profession in the world…’ with all kinds of promises of being able to earn hundreds per hour while sitting in slippers at home and asking open questions on the phone.What happens is that people take a training, get hoo Read more:Coaches
Shadows and Light 2007-02-05 21:46:00 Shadows and light: photo by barcalunacyHere's a double bind for you. NLP is a set of powerful tools that can be applied to setting goals and accomplishing what you want in life. In NLP we apply the concept "a map is not the territory", that our understanding of reality is only a model, and not reality itself. So what happens if we start applying our wonderful NLP techniques on the basis of a map that is severely flawed? What will that result in? For example someone who as a habit uses force to resolve problems, physical or emotionally. If they encounter a problem where they feel weak, in their map of the world they will seek a method to be stronger. So they then apply NLP to be even stronger in that situation.... Seems doomed to failure doesn't it? What about the inverse. Someone who always yields to others, deals with problems by being more generous, more sensitive, more giving. If they find themselves in a difficult situation, perhaps where someone is taking advantage of them in s Read more:Shadows
5 years more - perspectives in time 2007-01-27 00:08:00 Notre Dame with flying buttresses - photo by scaredsqueeA friend and Yoga teacher Gary Carter once told me a story. He had been in a class where they were practising the lotus posture in a headstand. The woman next to him kept falling out of the posture and giggling, then getting back up giving it another go and ….. not quite making it. Somewhere between giggling and picking herself up the floor she would say to ‘another five years’. She was about 80 at the time.Our perception of time can make a huge difference to what we do and what we achieve. The question is, what is a long period of time for you?Probably that depends on the context. Arriving at the post office, seeing a line of slow moving people can make five minutes seem looooong. Arriving at an office with a full task list to be completed for a much loved, and rapidly approaching project can make eight hours seem short. Our perception of time can vary immensely.The significance of an event shifts with the passing of time
Three freedoms 2007-01-23 13:58:00 photo of Freediver at the North Pole by Fred Buyle, www.nektos.netRecently I was chatting with a coach, who observed 'Whenever anyone mentions freedom in relation to a goal, they are motivated in an away from direction.'I agree that often people want freedom as an away from, I also think that we can distinguish three kinds of freedom.We have already looked at the first one - what I call freedom from. As a motivation it can work pretty well. People ache for freedom from war, injustice, poverty, their boss, their job, their spouse(!). You can probably think of quite a few variations, and think of the lengths people go through to escape from the constrictions of their life or society.Then we also have what I call freedom for. Which can you can also think of as freedom to. Freedom to love, to sing, to dance, to dream, to act. Again you can add in what you'd like to freedom for.Finally there is simply freedom. I think of this as the ability to simply be in the present moment, accepting w Read more:Three
, freedoms
Habits 2007-01-23 00:12:00 We all have habits, we cannot get by without them. The question is whether the habits we have serve us or not. The next question is how to change a habit?Read on…Paris Sans Clopes – the energy of habitXmas xcess and rich pickings for a coach
Book Review - the Potent Self by Moshe Feldenkrais 2007-01-23 00:00:00 Moshe Feldenkrais was born at the beginning of the last century in Russia. At the age of 14 he moved to Palestine and worked as a labourer, going on to study engineering. He then moved to France, escaping to Britain on the eve of the second world war, where he worked on Sonar resarch in Scotland. Moshe was not only an engineer, but also a martial artist - practising Jujutsu and then Judo with it's founder Jigoro Kano. The combination of his martial and scientific background, along with an injured knee lead him to develop a method of bodywork which is gaining in popularity today. Feldenkrais wrote the Potent
Self in the 1940's - though it was not published until the 1980's for various reasons. As I read it in 2006 I was amazed at how well the book stands the test of time. There are some details that research has shown to be not completely accurate, but the overall theme of the book and it's style holds true. But what is the theme? Feldenkrais talks about the development of the indiv Read more:Moshe
Seminar review - Provocative Therapy with Frank Farrelly 2007-01-22 23:28:00 After reading the book ProvocativeTherapy
by Frank
Farrelly I was intrigued enough to want to see the man in action. The seminar was with Tranceforming NLP in Leeds. Since Leeds is a city I have good memories of living in, that was an added bonus. I wasn't sure if I was going to get a weekend of stand up comedy - or something practical. In fact I got both. Frank is very funny, and I laughed until my cheeks got cramp. Yes, the cheeks on my face.The seminar was essentially a lot of stories, some of which Frank finished, and some of which he didn't. I wondered if they were cunningly designed nested loops. But he claims he says the first thing that comes into his head, and I believe him. Of course both could be true.Watching and listening to him it's clear Franks style (and some of the content of his stories too) has had a great influence on Richard Bandler (Richard Bandler is oe of the founders of NLP). In between the stories there were interviews where Frank provokes the hell out of Read more:Seminar
, review
Book Review Transforming Yourself by Steve Andreas 2007-01-22 23:18:00 'Transforming Yourself
' by SteveAndreas
is one of a long line of NLP books based on seminar transcripts and demonstrations. It deals with something Steve calls self concept. What is self concept? Well if you think of yourself as a 'kind' person then 'kind' is part of your self concept. The book goes into some detail into how you can examine self concept, looking at the structure in terms of sub-modalities, and ways you can change self concept. If you have studied NLP the book provides a clear explanation of how to work with self concept both formally and conversationally. I found it easy to follow and it covers many of the questions that came up as I read it. As well as being practical there is also an interesting discussion of what a healthy self concept consists of which touches on various older traditions like Buddhism without being at all religious. The larger divisions of the book include strengthening a wanted self concept Creating a new self concepts Dealing with the not
Book, Video and Seminar Reviews 2007-01-22 23:16:00 I will not be reviewing every book I read, or every seminar I go to. But there are some that make enough of an impression on me and that I think are relevant enough to the content of this board that I will want to share.Some of these come from the old nlpschool.com discussion board.Book Review Transforming Yourself by Steve AndreasSeminar
review - Provocative Therapy with Frank Farrelly Book Review - the Potent Self by Moshe Feldenkrais
Stories, Commentary and opinion 2007-01-22 23:01:00 Stories are a basic unit of human communication, and so you will find them as part of many NLP trainings. This section contains links either to stories, or ways of using stories.NLP is sometimes defined as the study of the structure of subjective experience. NLP recognises that being objective is challenging for human beings. Since I do my best to own my subjectivity I try to be honest and transparent about it. I find that makes for clearer communication, if not always a jigsaw fit of agreement. You will find my opinion
s in this section, as well as anecdotes and metaphors.Take with a pinch of salt and enjoy.the fool in the laboratorypresenting NLP,I knew someone who...the French attitude to SectsIntoxicating new years resolutionsParis Sans Clopes – the energy of habitThree freedoms5 years more - perspectives in timeUnderemployed Coachespolitically correct for you're a *****er Read more:Stories
Techniques, Methods and Practises 2007-01-22 22:30:00 NLP contains many techniques that can be applied in different situations and contexts. These techniques were developed from modelling people who were excellent in their fields, and playing with the principles of excellence to generate new techniques.Consequently within the field of NLP there is an increasing range of techniques. Most experienced NLPers have created techniques at one time or another, or at least improvised them on the spur of the moment. This improvisation is a little like jazz musicians jamming, or actors well, improvising.So you will find some of my improvisations here.You will also find practises here. I distinguish these from techniques as they are there to build skill rather than necessarily have a direct application.Skill and change require practise. It usually takes some repetition before a concept gets sufficiently into the muscle before it can be applied in the changing conditions of the real world.The act of practising not only helps make a skill habitual, it Read more:Methods
Explaining NLP 2007-01-22 22:19:00 One of the challenges of being an NLP trainer is explaining what NLP is. A definition which came to me recently during a presentation is this.NLP is a flexible framework that allows the exploration and integration of many different aspects of human experience.NLP creates a language of experience that allows poetry to converse with business, art with science, values with profit, dance with Descartes, and spirit with matter.Since individual humans, and human societies are full of contradictions and divisions, I think it is a pretty good thing to practise the capacity for integration. When we can’t yet find a means of integration to have a means to hold our contradictions in a sane way.NLP is not the only discipline which is attempting this, but I think it does a pretty good job. Whether your interests are business, therapy, creativity, sports, coaching or health people have successfully used in NLP that field.Given this flexibility it is not surprising that different practitioners and
Three kinds of questions 2007-01-22 12:13:00 When I teach NLP I get to observe what people find challenging within it. Perhaps top of the list of challenges is how to move from the content of what people are saying to the process, the patterns in how they say it. People start off with good intentions of sticking with process, then get sucked in by content, and veer off into everyday conversation. The juicier the content, the easier it is to lose sight of the process.Most people live so much in content, the rich details of their stories that even the idea of process eludes them.I have a set of distinctions I like to give that helps some people to get it. I like to tell people there are three kinds of questions
.The first kind is the normal conversational kind. I ask you a question because I want information about what your life, for me. For example 'Where do you reccomend for lunch?' because I am hungry, or 'How did you make that curry?' because I want to be able to make it too, or 'Then what happened?' because I want to know Read more:Three
An exercise to increase Physical Intelligence 2007-01-15 11:19:00 I recently started doing this in a quiet moment. It is very simple exercise I've put together and decided to call Kinesthetic streaming. It is similar to a number of other techniques. In doing it the first time I gained some interesting insights into how I think about and use my body.But first what do I mean by physical intelligence? Well I’m talking about awareness of the structures in the body, bones, muscles, tendons, and visceral organs. Parallel to this is an awareness of emotions, energy and metaphors within the body. Finally there is a linking between awareness of these structures and the ability to move and therefore act, in the world.I’ll describe the exercise, then write a little about some experiences I associate with it and then about some techniques that are similar.So now the exercise…1. Close your eyes2. Describe to your self your physical sensations, in as much detail and as rapidly as you can. Carry on for from 5-10 minutes.3. Notice if there are parts of your b
Intoxicating new years resolutions 2007-01-12 14:06:00 It is January, 2006 has clicked into 2007 and the champagne bottles have been dropped off to be recycled. It is resolution time. So here is something I wrote with the aim of offering you your heart’s desire this year – or at least a method to identify and develop it.Keep reading and you will find a set of ideas and instructions. You can try them on your own, or what is more fun is to get a group of friends together and try it with them. Actually they don’t even have to be friends, just people you know. But be warned, you could have a magical time doing this and find yourself with a bunch of new friends.Before you get on the phone to your friends here is the basis of the method. Often we start making our resolutions based on what annoys us. Because we feel frustrated at not having done something, or because we keep doing something that we (or others) think that we shouldn’t.What I propose here is something else. Rather than starting with a unfulfilled desire, I’d like to start
the French attitude to Sects 2006-12-27 21:56:00 Most foreigners in France will at some point notice that this country has a suspicion of les sectes – what we tend to label as Cults in English. If you are reading this as a foreigner then you may well say to yourself ‘ fair enough I don’t like those brainwashing weirdo’s either!’What you may not appreciate is that this attitude
extends far further, and far more often than it is in America, in England or any other European country. France has an official list of sects, which includes the usual suspects (Scientology, the Mooneys etc) and plenty of organisations I have never heard of, but also groups accepted as probably benign (if sometimes bizarre) like the Jehovah’s witnesses, and Transcendental meditation.Apart from an official list, and laws to back it up the suspicion of sects runs broadly throughout French
Society. I have friends in martial arts who are often asked if they are part of a sect. Then again if I think about it doing movements originating in China, then hit
Only for people of a certain development 2006-12-22 13:43:00 I started this blog about a month ago, with a number of objectives. To offer ideas and techniques that can make a difference to the readers, for the pleasure of writing, and finally to attract people
onto our courses.For the last few weeks I’ve been questioning if I’m going about this the right way. I was thinking to be eligible for our trainings there are a number of criteria you need to meet.You need a certain
degree of emotional stability. Our trainings are to teach NLP, rather than to give therapy – though our students to have plenty of opportunities to resolve issues during the courses.You need a certain degree of mental maturity. NLP isn’t magic. The use of it depends on certain cognitive skills that not everyone has developed.Finally you need to be able to be able to pay. We offer discounts and exchanges in certain cases, but we are a business and we won’t stay around for long if that’s all we do. If you are a charity, or working on a voluntary basis then you’re th
Xmas xcess and rich pickings for a coach 2006-12-18 13:58:00 In my previous life as a personal trainer in Paris one of my busiest times of year used to be January. I dealt with people who had gone overboard at Christmas. Having hauled themselves away from another scene of culinary carnage, weighed down by foie gras, good wine and a rich heritage of cheese they examine their lives with a faint feeling of nausea. Unable to move they had no choice but to reflect back on the previous year. On January 1st it’ll be time to change….Actually things are not so different for me since I gave up the physical fitness side of my practise. People still get overdo it over xmas and want help to see the coming year in a new way, which often involves discussion and the putting together of plans with dreams or values.I consider myself a good coach – that is I aim to do my job well and thus put myself out of a job pretty quickly. If the above scenario seems familiar to you and undesirable then read on as I plan to put myself out of a job.Our perceptions of thi Read more:Xmas
Pass this on to any boring coaches you know (but don't tell them why...) 2006-11-22 06:03:00 Do you have your clients crying with laughter and changing? Would that be right - to be effective and have fun at the same time? You know those moments when a client does something really annoying and you have to bite your tongue to stop yourself doing something unprofessional? Well wouldn't you like to do something much, much more satisfying than firing you patience anchor?I notice a tendency in the helping professions for people to get quite earnest. Helpers are drawn to help because of their compassion, their capacity for empathy - those qualities are vital for good listeners.At the same time they cary with them the capacity for a kind of earnestness and heaviness and, in extreme cases, a martyrdness.At the end of the 1980's I was once asked to leave a seal sanctuary in Scotland where I was working as a volunteer. I think the main reason reason was because I refused be sucked into the general atmosphere of worthy suffering. During the short time I was there I remained well fed, ro Read more:boring
Two moments to change your life 2007-03-12 16:08:00 photo: in between drinks by paoliinaHave you ever found yourself in a situation, repeating some behaviour that you do not like? It could be something like acting shy, hesitating, getting angry, hopelessness, turning on the TV, reaching for junk food...The list could be endless, and is most likely uniquely personal.Even if you do not have anything you actively dislike,you may find something that you would like to improve.Now once you get into the situation, and the behaviour that you do not like many people find that there is a certain momentum, or unconsciousness to it. Either it becomes hard to change in the moment, or people do not realise that there is actually a choice to be made.So what are the two moments where you can change your life? There is in between, and there is during. As I mentioned above, during is not easy. The moment slips by, and is gone, leaving you cursing, stamping your feet and saying 'Oh no, not again!', or whatever it is that you do and say after whatever i
Tricks of the mind 2007-03-28 15:25:00 If you are UK, or Youtube, based there is a good chance that you know about Derren Brown.Derren has made several television series that mix Hypnosis, stage magic, cold reading and NLP to some very amusing effect. Well amusing to me anyway.Here is an example of Derren at work on TV this one showing how easy it can be to trick martial artists...One of Derren's values is to state clearly that he is using tricks and skills rather than special powers to do some of the amazing things that he does. I'll refer back to this later.His book, tricks of the mind is written in what I would describe as a 21st century Victorian style. I found it quite amusing, but it may not be everyone's taste.Derren is scathing about mediums, and people who believe in psychic powers (especially his own). He covers his interest in magic tricks, hypnosis, memory, NLP, the nature of belief, and pseudo-science. All of this he mixes with anecdotes from his time as Christian with the annoying habit of trying to conver
The Secret - not everyone's cup of tea 2007-03-28 23:15:00 Now there are plenty of people out there who seem to loooove the secret, a film that has become an underground best seller, if that is not an oxymoron, based on the 'Law of Attraction'.Now it is not hard to see why so many people like the secret. In lots of ways I do. It is well made, with pretty visuals, consistent special effects, short sentences, stirring music, period costumes, rampaging mobs, conspiracy theories, love interests and boundless, boundless optimism.Basically the Law of Attraction says, if you truly ask for something from the Universe, the universe will grant your wish....That's right, anything.The film is full of happy stories of people who have had their wish granted. The delighted witnesses explain having spent some time putting their attention on the things that they do not want, struggling with illness, debt and hate they learn to shift their attention. The moment their thoughts turn to love, health and wealth (lots of that) it arrives by the bucketful.Interspe Read more:everyone
An outcome you cannot argue with 2007-03-28 17:49:00 Death & Life by Darius twin A wide range of psychotherapeutic, spiritual, and extreme sports traditions all have one thing in common. In fact we all have this in common, and no it is not skin, or taxes. It is death.In our culture death is a strange subject. We are all going to die, but it is not something many of us like to think about very much. Naturally we get reminded fairly regularly as people we know come to the ends of their lives.We also get to see plenty of death in the media, usually at an abstractly comfortable distance. It could be in the news, or in a TV series where the bad guys are little more than targets for the hero.Now I have no idea what happens when we die, though I have met plenty of people who have beliefs in this area. Given this uncertainty about our only certainty, living people use death in a number of ways.Obviously death gets used as a threat, which works less well if you believe that you get some kind of celestial five star service on the other side.Others Read more:outcome
Some positive double binds 2007-04-04 15:26:00 Knotted Catenoid by ArenamontanusI'll see if I can write a short post...Double binds come from the work of Gregory Bateson, who hypothesized that they were often instrumental in the onset of schizophrenia. Here is a simplified set of conditions for a (negative) double
bind.1. There is an injunction form a person in a position of authority power on a someone of lesser authority or power. It may take the form 'do/don't do x or I will punish you.'2. There is a secondary injunction that contradicts the first, and exists at a more abstract level. This might be something like 'only do x spontaneously.'3. The secondary injunction need not be stated clearly - indeed is often more powerful if unstated.A typical example is the tension between children and their parents. A parents says 'do what you're told, don't argue or I'll get mad.' while at the same time there is a background message of 'You need to be more independent.'To get beyond a double bind it is helps to see not just the
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