Owner: NLP school European Blog URL:http://nlpschool.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Thu, 08 Mar 2007 15:14:12 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: NLP Techniques, tips, stories, opinion for personal and professional development. Plenty on hypnosis, meditation and somatic arts too from a professional trainer. Site statistics:Click here
Fish and Piranhas 2007-04-20 16:09:00 photo: Piranhas by doublFish are one of the tools that we use on our trainings. In case you are wondering what that means, and have images of conference rooms full of flapping Tuna, rainbows of angelfish, or cod and chips these are a different kind of metaphorical fish.The idea of fish comes from Gregory Bateson, who observed that dolphin trainers never punished their charges for not doing what they wanted. Rather they waited for the dolphins to do something they liked, drew attention to the moment and action by blowing a whistle, then at the next convenient moment gave the dolphin a fish. They would also sometimes just give the dolphin fish for no reason in particular, just for being. They found human-dolphin relations worked better that way.So in our trainings we encourage people to wait until a fellow student does something they like then give them a fish. That is tell them what they liked, when it happened, and how it was good. Again we do not punish our trainees for getting it '
Book Review - the Mandala of Being 2007-04-30 15:20:00 A month or two ago I received an e-mail from Robert Dilts recommending (or was it promoting) the Mandala of Being by Richard Moss. Robert described the book something like the Heineken adverts of my childhood. The Mandala of Being refreshes the parts many NLP techniques cannot reach. Since I like Robert, and respect his opinion I decided to buy it - and read it.Now I've read it I've decided to review it. After my paraphrasing of Robert's summary I will offer my own. The book is something like a cross between Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now, combined with techniques that make use of our mental tendencies to organise meaning spatially, and in terms of stories. Now a slightly more in depth version. There is a lot more in the book than I have described here.Richard Moss writes that we humans are born into the present, and while we are present we are exquisitely sensitive and connected to life. However being so sensitive we are also susceptible to pain, and since life doles out plenty of
a million wishes 2007-05-15 10:04:00 photo: who has lost a magic wand by Pσrcelαΐηgΐrl°Having lunch with Chris West, and discussing an NLP book I wanted to a way to get across the optimism, and humanity that I find in NLP. I offered Chris the following thought experiment.Think of all those stories where someone receives three wishes - and is either filled with contradictory urges about what to wish for, or wishes for something that ends up messing up their lives.Now imagine that somehow a million
wishes had been offered to you (and if you think that a million is not enough, you can always use one of that million to wish for a billion more...). Now what would you do with those wishes?I can summarize what the people who I've offered this experiment to say as'Well I'd wish for certain things for myself, then I'd start thinking about what I could do for other people.'I have not met anyone who genuinely put themselves in this imaginary position, and who would use their wishes to wreak havoc in the lives of others.P
Rapport, mirroring and the brain 2007-05-29 04:42:00 photo: Modes MRI headlslice from the Swedish Brain mirror exhibition On courses at NLP School Europe we often teach a number of rapport exercises which involve mirroring the body of another person. Doing this on purpose can seem artificial, and done poorly it can be pretty creepy.Having said that it is something that people who get on with each other do naturally most of the time. What we show is that you can do it more purposefully to expand the range of situations whee you can feel comfortable, communicate clearly and influence people.Here is a link to a study from UCLA that used brain imaging to observe the effect that mirroring had on brain activity. Though it used a small sample size it scientifically validates the exercise. Also the study confirms my experience that using mirroring helps create empathy for the person with who is mirrored.The greater the empathy and connection, the more likely you are to use any influence gained through technique to the positive benefit of all par Read more:Rapport
Fun with space 2007-05-28 15:02:00 Photo: Power lines by shootheadOne universal human characteristic is the tendency to sort and organize our understanding of the world spatially. We are born into space and time, and our internal world is build around space and time too.If you watch someone talking they will tend to gesture to where information and objects are in their imagination. Some of these gestures may be in corporal space - pointing to parts of the body when referring to emotions for example. Other gestures may refer to where they imagine events in the past or future to be, or to concepts that float somewhere in mental space.As quantum physicists say time is what keeps everything from happening at once, and space is what keeps everything from happening in the same place.There is a huge amount of information available for people willing to observe, and you it can be used in all kinds of ways, in teaching, sales, therapy, communication and influence.In this article I am mostly interested in ways to use the tendency
Who will you be when? 2007-05-21 03:40:00 Picture: You know who I am, by oxfordshire church illustrations In most standard NLP goal processes there are various checks. Checks on whether achieving the goal will cause all kinds of havoc with friends, family and other vital systems. Checks on whether the goal is worthwhile in terms of time effort and money. Finally there is usually a check on whether the goal fits with your sense of self.It is that last check that I'm interested in today. One way to look at our lives is that they are to a large extent created by our sense of self. We do the things that we do, make the choices that we make because we are who we are.At the same time our sense of self changes with the circumstances of our life. Major events like becoming a parent, changing professions, or country of residence have a fairly clear effect on how people think of themselves.This means any large goal is likely to result in a change in the sense of self. So if someone sets a significant goal for themselves and really co
Overlaying Maps 2007-06-01 02:23:00 photo: Alum Rock Park Map - Google Maps Overlay by Victor SolanoyA theme that I keep coming back to in NLP is a map is not the territory. It applies on all kinds of different levels, two friends chatting and not quite understanding each other, two cultures not getting on, to someone lost somewhere because they cannot read a map - literally.As people take on this idea they leave the certainty that comes from the knowledge that 'Science proves' or that 'the scriptures say'. It is not always comfortable for them.Probably the majority of people that I work with are either moving into this area of uncertainty, or are already there. There tends to be a progression in how people structure their world views, and the relativistic map is not the territory one is fairly advanced.Once people pick it up then they can often cross cultures more easily, and work with people very different from themselves more elegantly.One of the ways to develop this ability is to deliberately take on, learn, and
Colour change card trick 2007-05-31 08:00:00 I found this recently - I think it is a great illustration of how we filter information. Well it got me anyway! How do you think you will do....It makes me wonder how many other pieces of information we miss in everyday conversations that might be important? What kind of states could we enter to start noticing what we missed before? Read more:Colour
, card trick
a generous frame 2007-06-06 02:13:00 photo: framed world by youngdooThe frame with which you approach a situation will make a big difference to what you do and what happens. Here is another martial arts example.There was once a martial artist who worked in the military. He trained hard, and was tough. he would also get into lots of fights. His frame in any situation was 'Am I the toughest person here?'.This is a common attitude for people who have a skill that they are proud of.I really appreciated this when chatting with a musician. I described an old internal dialogue of mine which went something like this 'Well he may be smarter/more charming/richer than me, but I could kick his ass in a fight!' He smiled as he listened and replied 'You know I do exactly the same thing, except I do not tell myself I can fight better, I tell myself I can play the trombone better.'So when this martial artist walked into a bar he would eye up anyone he thought might pose some kind of threat in a fight. Not surprisingly many of the Read more:generous
Cycles of work and strength 2007-06-04 08:39:00 photo: Calderwood tree stump by AuchinoonSome years ago I used to work as a personal trainer, and at the same time competed in full contact martial arts tournaments. Both of these activities required a level of fitness, especially the latter.But however fit I wanted to be I knew that I couldn't train 24 hours a day, even if I was not training very hard.To maximize the effects of my training I took another approach. I trained very intensely, then rested intensely.What I told my clients with respect to exercise was this. You do not get stronger when you train, you get more tired and you get weaker. You get stronger when you rest, which is when the body adapts to the demands placed on it during training.It applies when recovering between sets of an exercise during a session, as well as the periods between sessions. There are longer cycles of rest and recovery as well.The same is true of non physical activities. Work too hard, do not rest and it results in burn out, and loss of effectiven Read more:Cycles
, strength
States and stages 2007-08-14 12:09:00 Photo: Amdo province in Tibet, my lack of recent blog articles was in part because I was traveling there.In NLP we talk a lot about states. Resourceful states, and unresourceful ones, states that are good for specific situations, and others that would be useful, but in another context. NLP does not just talk about states. It has some very good ways of analyzing, developing and triggering states. The state that you need to have a wild time in a night club is not the same as the one you need to negotiate a deal. Of course the two may have some overlap depending on your style... NLP has a lot of techniques to help you have the right state at the right time. I want to add another distinction that NLP does not really have, that of stages. States
arise and disappear quickly, whether through NLP's anchoring, during meditation, or in some kind of spontaneous peak experience. Stages are more stable, they are more like cognitive structures through which experiences are interpreted. A perso
Book Review - Blink 2007-09-13 02:57:00 Blink, the power of thinking without thinking by Malcolm GladwellBlink is a book that I picked up several times, having read the Tipping Point by the same author.Finally I bought before boarding on an international train. It is short, and I found it both easy to read, and full of ideas. From an NLP point of view Blink is about calibrating decision making, and modeling decision making in different contexts. The basic ideas in the book are that we human beings are very good at making quick decisions or judgments. This capacity is based on the ability to read a lot of information, unconsciously instant by instant. It is also based on the experience in a field that we have developed over time.One of the interesting concepts touched on is that when people are asked to justify a decision, they perform less well than when they make quick decisions. When we start to rationalize we often interfere with the intuition that has access to both our memories and the experience of the current situati Read more:Blink
Right and Easy 2007-10-07 13:29:00 photo: Right
is easy by LNA conversation I had at a training recently stayed with me. Perhaps because I felt quite happy to quote an unusual and famous person. Perhaps because there was something unclear about my answer.But before I offer the quote, let me set the scene. In the course we asked the attendees to remember a time just before they made decision that they later regretted.Additionally in the moment they made the decision, they had some sense of warning, some signal that told them they would regret their choice. Which they did.We do this to help sensitize our clients to their own inner warning signals, and those of the people around them. Something I consider useful in any decision making process.A woman whose gaze alternated between intensely still, and sparklingly mischievous came up to me afterwards and asked'I do not understand. If someone knows that they will regret a decision, why would they make that decision?'Looking at her super steady eyes I saw the genuineness o
A review in reverse 2007-10-03 15:15:00 photo: Mangroves Mafia Island by Karin OsterlundI almost feel this is a bit of a cheat. I know that it is some time since I sat down to write on my blog, and this seems like an easy way to start October.Yes I have a review
to offer you, but it is not a review by me, it is a review of a recent London training by Robbie and I.Here it is.The reviewer Peter Kenworthy is and HR director with over 25 years of experience.You may be wondering why I have a picture of Mangroves with this review. They are not just any Mangroves, they are Mangroves that fringe and protect the edges of Mafia Island, which is set in the Indian Ocean off the coast of Tanzania.When I read that Peter had a background in Tanzanian fisheries it took me back to when I was a researcher gathering data for the Mafia Island national marine reserve. Some of my best evenings were spent swimming through the mangroves at dusk or by moonlight enjoying the depth of the spring tide.I'd like to draw some conclusion, a helpful educat
Stillness and ideal movement 2007-10-23 04:37:00 Photo: Baguazhang master Luo Dexiu demonstrates focussed attention with a relaxed, extended and balanced posture I must be doing something right. Despite only writing here intermittently I seem to be attracting an increasing number of readers.Anyway before I start patting myself on the back I thought I can offer you an adapted extract from the manual of a training I offer called Practical stillness.The idea of the training is to distill years of martial arts and meditative training, combined with NLP to give people tools that they can use in communication, coaching, difficult situations and in decision making.Ideal body use - martial arts and coachingWhat we are looking for (not mention listening and feeling for) is the most relaxed use of the body possible. Emotions, positive or negative require tension and movement
to express.Being increasingly relaxed allows a kind of quietness, a stillness and a receptivity. Also excess tension is both tiring, restrictive and wearing on the bod Read more:ideal
Injunction scans 2007-11-12 13:27:00 photo: civic injunction by jbartokI believe it was Timothy Gallwey, the father of executive coaching who originally said'performance equals potential minus interference.'He first used this idea in a sporting context, especially with reference to athlete's doubts, distractions and negative internal dialogue.But for the purpose of this article I want to apply this principle not so much to individual performances, but to the larger scope of what people decide to perform in.People usually perform the best when they have a maximum of enthusiasm. They also seem more dynamic, attractive and convincing to others when they are enthusiastic. Naturally I can think of exceptions to this. Enthusiasm is not a substitute for skill. But it often precedes and leads to skill.Children often show great capacity for enthusiasm. At least when they are left to play. Adults often show less enthusiasm. Somehow in the civilizing process education can damp down enthusiasm.Let me give a personal example from t Read more:Injunction
Rehearsing pain, rehearsing pleasure 2007-11-19 04:48:00 photo: Bike to work by e.wilderLast week a car door gave me a lesson in NLP. The cyclists among my readers will already be sighing...It was Tuesday morning, I was pumping up a steep hill working desperately to get my daughter Jyoti to school on time. Then with a timing I could not avoid a man in a smart car opened his door. Pieces of bike cracked off as we skidded and fell to the left.My body and the wrong part of my training took over. I had hardly hit the ground and I was up again. There were no cars or buses about to crush us and my daughter seemed unhurt. In front of me was a an open car door inside of which was the target of 15 years of bottled cycle rage. My right fist felt like it could smash metal, and there was an open line between it and the scared face of the driver. My lungs were supplying plenty of volume to a mix of obscenity, incrimination and threat. The driver shrank in his seat.I do not know how long I stood there, perhaps two or three seconds, but it felt a long tim
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