Owner: Stay-at-home-mom-daze URL:http://sahmdaze.blogspot.com Join Date: Wed, 07 Mar 2007 21:06:04 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: A personal and humorous look into my life as a SAHM and how some day turn into daze. Site statistics:Click here
It's Over 2007-03-07 01:21:00 It's over. The sickness that has held my family firmly in its grasp has finally released us. I was at my wits end with this one. I'd rather everyone have it at once, but instead this sickness was an epic. First me, then my son, then my daughter, then my husband, then me again, then my husband and daughter at the same time. How my son managed to heal and not get sick again is beyond me and raspberries to him. But we are finally free. We did think of a movie motto though if we were to make our life into a movie. Imagine in the movie guy type voice: "The Sickness- Where Your Next Breath May Land You In The Bathroom All Week".......
Funny Faces Mean Very Bad Things 2007-03-02 20:48:00 Funny faces are cute right? When your child looks at you with an indescribable expression you usually think...cute! I'm here to tell you that funny faces can actually mean very bad things. I will use yesterday's very bad funny face as an example. My son has been sick for the past few days. No one else appeared to be feeling badly so I hoped he had something that wasn't contaigous. When he said he felt fine yesterday, I cheered inwardly because I thought his little sister had escaped the stomach virus/flu/bug/sickness he had. Wrong!!!After waking up from a nap my daughter sadly came into my bedroom where I was cleaning and wanted to lay down with me. After a few minutes of laying and staring at the ceiling she got down and sat on the floor. I continued staring at the ceiling. It's not too often my kids give me a free pass to lay in bed to do and think absolutely nothing. I was taking advantage of the moment. Then I saw her standing next to the bed on my side. She had a f Read more:Funny
, Funny Faces
, Bad Things
Shampoo and Sickness 2007-02-28 21:35:00 Steam cleaners don't handle bubble bath well. I learned this because my lovely toddler decided to pour out the industrial sized bottle of kids, bubble gum scented bubble bath that I just bought. So she didn't dump out a tiny bit, or even a little too much. She dumped out a TON of bubble bath. Right into the middle of her bedroom floor. Many of you will be familiar with the scene. You're preoccupied caring for your other child who has been throwing up all day when you realize that the baby is awfully quiet. Not only is she awfully quiet, but she's nowhere to be found. You hear a slight murmuring coming from her bedroom and decide...no matter how much your brain is telling you that you don't want to look...to peek in and see what your angel is doing. "Nooooooo!" you yell. "What are you doing? That is naughty!" A big pair of blue eyes peer up at you and their lips widen...is she smiling at you? After what she's done? "Pretty bubbu baf" she says. You realize any explanation is Read more:Sickness
Days Into Daze 2007-02-27 19:40:00 All stay-at-home-mom's have been there. You wake up, stretch, and conclude that this is the day where everything will run smoothly. The kids will wake-up, eat and wash, and get ready to start the day with smiles and laughter. By the time your husband comes home from work dinner will be almost on the table and the kids will be playing a quiet game together in the living room. *slap* What was that? Something just flew by and slapped you? That was the reality fairy giving you your first dose of reality for the day. The next dose of reality comes when you wake-up fully, stretch, and feel crunched up crackers underneath your pillow. How you didn't feel them the night before you don't know, but they're under there now making you realize that you do feel slightly itchy. More than likely you will be able to create a sandcastle from the cracker crumbs that will inevitably fall out of your pajamas. Oh well, just try to get washed before the kids get up so you can have a few minutes
We Won! 2007-03-10 21:49:00 We won AWANA games today! Gavin is so excited. He has been practicing for the last two weeks and it paid off. He competed in the balloon pop, in and out, keeping the balloon up in the air, and the train. He got a new patch for his vest too. It's finally starting to warm up outside so Tim is going to take Gav riding on the ATV. Hopefully they'll make it home alright. I always worry about those two lunkheads out there on that ATV. He will be going with Jamie and Trent though so at least they're not alone. Well that's about it for us. The end of this week wasn't too bad and so far the weekend is great!
Liar, Liar Pants on Fire! 2007-03-23 22:38:00 There is a lovely phase going on in my home right now. The lying phase. My son is constantly pulling false statements out of his butt for sometimes no good reason. He'll lie about brushing his teeth or washing his hair. Why these things warrant a lie, I'm not quite sure. I'll say, "Did you brush your teeth?" Then he'll say "yes" but have a look of suspicion about him. Why he feels the need to do this is as wondrous as the pyramids. It's not as if he would be in trouble if he were to say no. I would simply tell him to go brush his teeth. Then there are the times where his sister is crying, I ask what happened, and he comes up with some exaggerated story about she was running and she fell and her ankle twisted. Now usually these lies I can figure out. She's usually crying because she was playing with something that he decided he wanted, he snatched, yelled "THAT'S MINE" and took it away from her. He's not the only guilty party though. My daughter has decided to get in o Read more:Pants
Trying to link 2007-04-01 01:07:00 This post is simply trying to link to technorati. Actually have a day where I'm bored go figure.Technorati Profile
Ticks and Potty Training 2007-04-07 19:10:00 Spring is here again. It's about time; I'm at the point where if I don't get out of the house soon I may need to be Baker Acted because I'm a danger to myself or others. Spring does mean ticks here in Missouri though and I've already had my first run-in. Lucky for me I have a tick specialist in my house. Last year my son decided to educate himself about all sorts of ticks and the reaction you will have if you get bit. He decided to do this after he got his first tick. Being from the East coast of Florida, you don't see too many ticks. I don't think they like the beach as much as they like the woods. Anyway, last year my son got a tick attached to his hip and started screaming for me to come and kill the spider that was stuck on him. When I told him it wasn't a spider but a tick, he turned ashen white, started crying, and feared for his life. I wasn't quite sure what to do either. The only run-in I'd ever had with a tick was a few years ago when one attached itself to my torto Read more:Ticks
, Training
, Potty Training
If You Can't Run With The Big Dogs, Big Dog Let Me Walk You Out! 2007-04-14 02:42:00 Well my daughter has learned that size doesn't matter. She has pushed and pushed our little 18lb. Boston Terrier "Celebrity" for a couple months now. Pulling her tail, jumping on her, poking her bug eyes, pulling her ears, sitting on her, and biting her. Celebrity usually barks and runs away. But today she decided that if Avlyn wanted to throw down she was ready to rumble. I was overseeing Gavin's math test and Avlyn was in the living room 'playing'. The next thing I know, I hear what can only be described as a squeal, growl, garbage disposal type noise followed by screaming. I run in and see Avlyn holding her face and crying. There are two small puncture wounds below her eye with a spec of blood on each. Beneath that is what looks like someone punched her and a shiner is forming. "Celebrity!" I scream. "What is wrong with you. You don't bite the baby! Get outside and you're not coming in until tonight!" I spank her all the way to the door and throw her out. Of course i
Laundry Hater!! 2007-04-19 01:42:00 Have you ever noticed how laundry has a tendency to linger? You haven't? Well aren't you right on top of your game! If you have noticed the annoying habit that laundry-clean and dirty- has of lying around the house, then you probably drive yourself crazy trying to stay on top of it. Welcome to my world! I am a self-professed laundry hater. I hate dirty laundry of course, but I also hate clean laundry. I hate dirty laundry because that means if something I want to wear or the kids want to wear is dirty, I have to wash it. I hate clean laundry because that means I have to fold it and put it away. I did have this all worked out. I married a man very particular about how laundry should be done. Unfortunately for him, he married a woman that could care less about separating towels from clothes let alone colors from whites. So in the beginning, he was the primary laundry man. He separated, he washed, he stain treated for goodness sake, and he dried and folded. But once he started a Read more:Laundry
Can It Hold That Much Weight? 2007-04-23 17:22:00 Well it's official. All the times my husband has told me that the extra 20 or so pounds I managed to keep after having Avlyn didn't make him think I was fat is a lie! He's trying to say that I misunderstood what he meant but...well, I'll let you be the judge.Here's the story:We were all outside enjoying the nice weather and the kids decided they wanted to jump on the trampoline. After a few minutes, Gavin started asking us to jump with them so they could fly really high. My husband jumps on and starts jumping really hard. Both of the kids decide they're going too high and get off. One is screeching "Stop jumping, stop jumping"! and the other one is crying, holding out her arms to me. After rescuing them, I somehow let them talk me into getting on the trampoline and holding them in my lap so they can bounce up and down while their dad jumps. I guess they felt more secure knowing all 3 of us would fly off the trampoline if Tim jumped too hard, and not just the 2 of them. Pay atte Read more:Weight
We Won Again! 2007-04-28 19:36:00 Well we did it again. Gavin won first place in the speed division for the AWANA Grand Prix. This is his third year and like they say, third time is the charm. The first year his car stopped in the middle of the track and he was very distraught. Last year he just wasn't fast enough. But this year....whoo boy!!!! It was close between his car and this block of purple glitter on wheels but he beat out the glitter to win first place. He wasn't shy about it either. He was the only kid yelling "I won a trophy, I won a trophy oh yeah!!!" Nothing like having a little humility in your glory right? Ha! Ha! Well I'm off to try to get my daughter to take a nap with me. She had a rough, stuffy nose night. Have you ever watched Caillou at 2 a.m. ? Let me tell you, his voice is much harder to tolerate when you've only had an hour of sleep. A pillow over the head on the couch doesn't block out the whiny, insipid, cry-baby voice either. It's playing in the background now and well.......I'm just t Read more:Again
House of A 1,000 Flies and 20 Worms. 2007-05-04 22:28:00 Imagine waking up, glancing towards the window behind your bed and seeing about 15 baby flies. Gross you think, but you figure you'll just get the swatter and be done with it. Then you look at the ceiling and notice about 10 baby flies scattered like land mines across the room. You begin to wonder why there are so many flies in your room. You keep your house as clean as two children, two dogs, and one husband reasonably allows. It's not like you have garbage or food lying around in your bed. Well, at least you don't this morning. Then your eye catches a scary, disgusting sight that you hope is a dream. The door leading from your room to the back deck is covered in baby flies and the bathroom window has about 30 flies buzzing around . It's Amityville Horror in your bedroom. If you can't imagine this happening, I don't blame you. I couldn't have imagined it either until it happened this morning.It has rained and rained and rained and apparently the baby flies were able to find a s Read more:House
, Flies
, Worms
Okay Butthole! 2007-05-07 03:14:00 It's official. My daughter has thrown her first insult. And it was in my direction. The woman who does nothing but love, feed, and comfort her sometimes annoying, bratty daughter was insulted by her. It was a simple insult and I believe that's what made it so stinging and bone cutting. We were in the tub and she decided to get out, dripping wet, and start banging on the door. "Get back in the tub Avlyn, you're not done washing," I said politely. "No" she stated simply. "Avlyn, get in the tub because you're dripping water everywhere and you just need to get back in right now," I say a little more testily. "O.K. BUTTHOLE!" is her response. Butthole! I haven't been called a butthole since......well honestly I can't even remember. I was, of course, in shock. "Did you just call me a butthole?" I ask her incredulously. "Yeah, mommy" she says sweetly and with a smile on her face. With a problem like this, I know it is best to go to the source of where she is picking up this word. I
When Everything Changes 2007-05-13 04:36:00 I'm a person who handles change fairly well. I can go with the flow and let things happen most of the time. But there is a change about to take place that I'm struggling with. When we lived in Florida, which was a little over a year and half ago, my son started kindergarten. It was a horrible experience for various reasons and I pulled him out within a week. We decided to homeschool until we moved to Missouri which was within the next few months. When we got to Missouri he said he wanted to stay homeschooled because he liked it better. I tried to get him to give the schools out here a chance. Heck, out here there are only 3 elementary schools, 1 middle school, and 1 high school. Back home we had around 30 elementary and 30 high schools and around 20 middle schools. There are more now because they are constantly building. I tried to explain to him that a small town is different. No more busses, no more 8 foot security fences surrounding the school disguised as a minimum security pris Read more:Everything
I Hate McDonald's! 2007-05-11 23:58:00 McDonald's has conspired with American Idol to drive the world crazy. First we had to deal with all of the Sanjaya craziness on American Idol. I don't even watch the show and he was annoying me. Now McDonald's has AI toys in their Happy Meals. The microphone my daughter got last week was cute. She's been singing in it ever since she got it. But the applause clapper toy the kids got this week is driving me insane. If you haven't been blessed with one of these toys it looks like the picture to the right. And they have the ability to drive anyone within hearing distance completely insane. They are shaped like toy guns. So both of my kids enjoy running around pretending to shoot each other with the clappers. Normally the "pshoo, pshoo" noise they make when they pretend to shoot each other doesn't bother me. But now they are running around the house and it sounds like "pshoo, pshoo, clank, clap, clank, clap, bang, bang, bang," and it doesn't stop. Apparently the more annoying a toy Read more:McDonald
Dirty Dishes 2007-05-16 23:11:00 Dirty dishes are like bacteria. They keep growing and accumulating no matter how often you wash them. And on occasion you find them under the bed or behind the dresser and they actually are bacteria. I think it's a phenomena that needs to be studied. I'm convinced that a dish scientist will discover that dishes, clean and dirty, can self reproduce. How else do you explain one cup full of juice on the dresser turning into three cups full of juice lined up on the dresser at the end of the day? I don't remember bringing three cups of juice into my kid's bedroom. He claims he didn't do it either and doesn't know where it came from. That has to be evidence that dishes contain both sexes and have the ability to spawn.My sink is another breeding ground. I'll have a sink full of dishes by the afternoon, but I can only remember using three plates, three glasses, and some forks for the day. But the sink contains eight glasses, a handful of forks, a couple knives, three spoons, bowls, spa
It's Genetic! 2007-05-19 23:22:00 It's always nice to hear, "Wow, you're baby looks just like you. She's so cute. She definitely got your genes." It makes you feel good and realize that there are, apparently, genes that don't require a tight butt to look good. On the other hand, it's much different when someone says, "What is your kid doing? That's gross! Do they get that from you?" You want to say, "Yes!", but when you look over at your child and see their foot in their mouth diligently chewing their toenails into tiny nubs, you just shake your head and try to look confused, like you don't know where she picked that nasty habit up. Deep down you know that she did get that from you. Your mom has plenty of pictures to prove that not only did she get her honey blond hair from you, she also inherited the ability to orally remove her toenails.I'm still a nail biter, but have long given up the habit of foot to mouth. The older I got, the more disgusting that habit became. Plus, it became much harder to get my foot t
The Curse of the Mopped Floor 2007-05-26 12:42:00 Have you ever felt something in your house was cursed or haunted? Maybe you have a light that flickers all the time with no explanation. Or you hear weird noises coming from one particular room when no one else is home. I've felt this way about my house ever since we moved into it a little under two years ago. My floors are cursed. Under normal circumstances, when they're covered with dirt, mud, stains, spilled juice, and dog hair, they're just fine. It's when they get mopped that the curse takes effect. Kind of like Sleeping Beauty and the spindle. There is a magic curse on my floor whenever it gets mopped.It works like this: I kick the kids and dogs out of the house for about 30 minutes. I mop the floors, turn on all the fans, and hope they dry before the stampede re-enters my house. They dry and look great. Within three hours someone will have tracked mud, spilled juice, thrown grated cheese, or thrown up on my newly mopped floors. It never fails. My floors never make it a full Read more:Floor
You Don't Look Like My Mom 2007-06-02 18:03:00 I finally found a person out here in rural Missouri that knows how to cut hair. This was the third place I tried and she did a really great job. In fact, she did so well that upon me getting in the car my son said, "Wow! You don't look like my mom; you look pretty." Well thanks son! I'm not sure if that was a backhanded compliment or just the complimentary style of a soon to be 7 year old. He tried to explain himself when I questioned him and he said, "You know what I mean mommy. Like you looked like yourself before and now you look pretty." Hmmmm, not sure if that's any better but I know he was trying to be sweet. Below is a before and after. I hate all pictures of myself so obviously I think both of these pictures suck, but if my son thinks his mama looks pretty than she must look pretty.BEFOREAFTER
Getting Ready! 2007-06-01 19:04:00 Well, I've been busy getting ready for the invasion of the in-laws. They'll be here this weekend for two weeks. I've spent most everyday cleaning something, writing to-do lists, or just plain going crazy trying to think of something to do. It didn't help that Gavin needed emergency dental work done on Thursday which set us back 200.00. That kid is cursed with cavities and chipped teeth and fillings that don't stay in. Now the tooth is capped and will hopefully stay that way until the tooth falls out. Living out here in the sticks there is no pediatric dentist so we drive over an hour each way to go to the special dentist that is "oh so fun" for kids. I am definitely in a daze right now. No matter how hard I try nothing stays clean. I'm not even bothering to vacuum or mop until Saturday night. Oh yeah, on Tuesday my vacuum broke; that's one reason I'm not worrying about vacuuming. We're actually headed off now to look at vacuums and see what we like. So between chipped teeth,
How to Stay Safe in Public Restrooms 2007-06-07 16:00:00 My husband's parents are here for two weeks. It's been fun. I actually get along with my in-laws so I'm not complaining. Yesterday we drove to Jonesboro, Arkansas to go to the mall. Yes, I live in an area where I need to travel to another state to go to a mall. Anyway, my son has been using the boys room for about 3 months now. Up until then he was still going with me into the ladies room. I told him that he was getting too big for that and needed to start using the boys room. He knows that I'll be right outside waiting for him. I told him that if anyone ever tries to talk to him just run out screaming. My husband says that someone will say "Excuse me" or something and he'll run out screaming like a crazy person, but I don't care. I don't trust any man in the restroom.Yesterday we both had to use the restroom so it was the first time that he had to deal with the possibility that I wouldn't be waiting outside the door when he was done. I took longer than usual and when I went ou Read more:Public
Taking a Deep Breath. 2007-06-18 19:07:00 Whew! I finally have things back to normal. Well, as normal as they get around this place. My husband's parents were here for the past two weeks and I have been on the go and just plain tired. The last few days I was able to clean and relax a little bit. I don't know what it is about people visiting. I clean the house thinking it will stay fairly nice while they're here and two minutes after they walk through the door it's like a hurricane went by, tore off your roof, moved all of your stuff around, and left a bunch of dust on your floor. It's weird how it works that way.The past two weeks have been chaotic, fun, stressful, tiring, and relaxing all at the same time. I got to see my in-laws, sleep with the kids in the bedroom with us on an air mattress, receive visits from family I don't normally have to see and don't miss when they're not around, spend the day on a pontoon boat with a group of people all over 55 and watch as the 'captain' tore up the propeller on rock beds in Read more:Taking
, Breath
Summer Insanity and Garbage Can Toilets 2007-07-31 15:09:00 Well our summer is almost over. 3 weeks until school starts and all the relatives have packed up and went back home. *whew* Now things are back to normal. By normal I mean that I'm back to finding myself saying and doing things I never thought I would until I had kids. There are many things you never think will come out of your mouth-ever-in your adult life. Then you have kids and you find yourself saying things like: "Put down that booger. Do not eat it. No! Put the booger down now!" or "Stop rubbing your butt on my head because it stinks and you don't have underwear on. You sicko." and most recently, "The garbage can is not a toilet. You do not tell your sister to take a poop in the garbage can. Does the garbage can look like a toilet to you?"These are all things I've said since having my kids and each time I'm a little bit more amazed by what comes out of my mouth. Hope everyone is having a great, busy summer. I know we are! Read more:Summer
, Garbage
The Case of the Stolen Purse 2007-08-03 13:49:00 Well, it has finally happened to me. I got my purse stolen from my car while it was sitting in my driveway. I used to have a bad, bad, habit of leaving my purse in the car pretty much all the time. But I haven't left it overnight for a really long time. I hadn't intended to leave it in the car the other day either, but I had to carry in ice cream and deal with a sleepy, cranky, I still want ice cream even though I can't keep my eyes open toddler. So with the distraction, and my craving for the peanut buster parfait that was quickly melting on the counter, I forgot about my purse. I went out early the next morning to get my cell phone, opened the door, and saw an empty seat. Of course, I shut the door again and reopened it thinking that my purse was pulling some sort of Chris Angel Mindfreak stunt on me, but it still wasn't there. I had a sinking feeling it had gotten taken, but I checked the house good first and called my husband and asked him if he'd brought it in and put is some
I've Learned a Lesson 2007-08-07 15:05:00 Well, I learned a lesson yesterday. My son taught it to me. According to him, the lesson I learned was that I'm mean. The learning of this lesson happened like this: We head off to Walmart to buy a pair of skates for Gavin. We're getting skates so that he can practice between now and a skate party he was invited to this weekend. The kid has absolutely no graceful moves when you strap on a pair of skates so practicing is crucial. After he picks out the skates and the Transformers helmet/safety pad set, I take his sister to pick out a toy. This small act of trying to buy something for the both of them ended up with my son crying and me being the stupidest, meanest person he'd ever met.Here's how that played out. "What do you want to buy baby girl? Oh, you want that makeup purse. Okay put it in the basket." I say. "WHAT? SHE GETS A TOY AND I DON'T GET NOTHING?" my son yells. I calmly explain that he is getting a pair of skates and safety pads that cost about 30.00 more than the toy Read more:Learned
Less Kids, More Stuff to Do! 2007-08-25 17:42:00 No one told me that when you send one kid off to school you have more stuff to do than ever before. Gavin started school last week and it's going well. I was a little nervous and sad at first, but I've adjusted and am actually enjoying my extra time with Avlyn. He, of course, adjusted after day one. But my ideal of having more time to get things done around the house and spending time teaching my daughter must hop out of the car in the morning with my son. My calendar has more scribbling and writing on it then it did this summer when I had people visiting and going crazy. I am not a morning person. I enjoy staying up until 2am and sleeping until noon. Of course, since I've had kids that has been put on the backburner, but I did manage to teach my son to stay up until 10 and sleep until 9. Neither of my kids has ever been crack of dawn risers thankfully. If they were I would probably toss a blanket over them, lay on top of them, and go back to sleep. Kicking and screaming be damned;
So You Had a Bad Day 2007-09-08 20:02:00 Well, my baby has finally experienced his first bad day. His bad day started out like any other bad day. He woke up happy and excited and it all went downhill from there. The discipline system in his school is a card system. They all start on green and can progress through yellow, white, red, and black. Black means you get sent home because you've already seen the principal and he apparently didn't put the fear of God into you enough to make you behave. Anyway Gavin got on red for having a very chatty day apparently. So he was distraught all day because this is a kid that usually strives to act right. To top it off, he filled up his water bottle shortly before school let out but didn't screw the cap on tight enough. He put the bottle in his backpack and what proceeded embarrassed the kid to no end. The bottle leaked into his backpack. The water leaked through the seams of the backpack and of course made it look like he was peeing as he was walking.I know, I know. Visualizing this ma
The Corn Maze Finally Got to Him 2007-10-20 15:27:00 I have been terribly busy lately. I picked up two writing gigs that have monopolized my computer time and occasionally my family time. The kids have their own social calendar filled with activities. Heck, they are only 2.5 and 7 and they do more than I do. My daughter is exceptionally busy with her playgroup. I take her to playgroup once a week along with special activities on other days. Of course, if we didn't have this stuff to do she would be home driving me crazy wanting to do something, so all is well.Both of my kids visited a pumpkin farm this month. Gavin went with school and Avlyn and I went with the playgroup. They had one of those infamous corn mazes filled with fake scary creatures and lots of corn. The toddler corn maze consisted of one row of corn that you walked through to the end and then turned around and walked back. Not so much a maze as a corn hallway. But if you let your kid loose to run through the corn there was a chance of getting lost and finding some excitem Read more:Finally
Clean Houses 2007-10-24 19:11:00 I belong to this playgroup that has a recipe club. So far, all of the hostesses have these immaculate homes. It doesn't seem right to me. I mean, I know most people clean well before having company, but there are no crayon drawings on the wall, scuff marks on the floor, or large stains on their carpets. Something isn't right. These women all have kids younger or about the same age as mine. Their homes should be full of messes and imperfections but they're not.At the last recipe club a mom I talk to regularly said, " I told Shannon that the only other person whose house probably looks like ours is Rhyah's." When she said this I laughed and said, "Oh yeah, my house is full of clutter and I'm always trying to keep it clean." But when I got home I thought more about this comment. What exactly did she mean by this? Do I give off some sort of messy house vibe? I mean I dress nicely, occasionally wear makeup so I don't look like the walking dead, live in a nice neighborhood and my ki Read more:Clean
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