Owner: Anomalistic Cerebellum URL:http://mebymyside.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Tue, 06 Mar 2007 13:50:01 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Crap but better than u Site statistics:Click here
My Flying Alarm Clock 2007-03-06 21:06:00 If youhave hard time to get up in the morning you may want to try this Flying
Alarm Clock
. When the alarm goes of in the morning, the propeller starts to spin and takes off into the air and lands somewhere in your bedroom. Siren alarm continues until you place the propeller part back into the top of the alarm clock. Try it, its cool!
Things to Do in a Boring Office 2007-02-05 21:00:00 Things to Do in a Boring OfficePoints are awarded on a degree of difficulty basis. You can award yourself extra points for creative execution. Read on...ONE-POINT GAGSRun one lap around the office at top speedGroan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other 'no-player' must be in the bathroom at the time) then say, Geez, that burns!When they're not looking, pour most of someone's fresh cup of coffee into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew - this really appeals to me!Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to youPhone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye"To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily "Mmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way"In the middle of a meeting, suddenly sho
Fallen Angels 2007-01-14 13:08:00 This is a true story, but the names and places have been changed to ensure their privacy.Not so long back, in a village there used to live a young boy called Anadi. He was always insecure... sometimes hewould even end up taking pregnancy tests. Of course, he never got pregnant.It was very scary in the insecure World that he lived in. He got sacked from his job, his girlfriend dumped him, his motherwould even pull his plate from under his nose when he took his already soiled hands to the plate to grab a morsel offood….you name it and he was capable of imagining it.One thing that kept him in one piece was his prayers. He prayed each day and soon enough…they had some effect. All ofa sudden, he was at peace with himself.The day he realized he was happy and pretty secure…he noticed odd incidents in his house. His Dove soap was wetwhen he walked in to take bath. His towel was wet and had been placed on the ironing board – something he wouldhave never done. The toilet hadn’t been fl Read more:Fallen
, Angels
Me by My Side.... 2006-10-31 14:05:00 HiDDen inSide the veiL unbrOken, Lies mY souL stiLL unspOken...WorDs...dat are stiLL unsaid...Thoughts thatare stiLL iMmaTeRialiZeD...i am like...an incompLete storY-->>an unFinishedsonG-->>a lOst memOry ...But wid in myself,i cherish mY SOuL whiLewaLkinG on da rOad of Life...just a step aWaY frOm eternity...I am waitinGfor mYseLf tO be disCovereD!!!
The summer that I cannot forget… 2006-10-12 18:07:00 The summer that I cannot forget…(Warning: it is long…1318 words to be precise)I think it was the summer of 69. Or was it 62? Either way it was a summer to remember.This is a very insignificant incident that happened in my life. I know, it might scare the S*&^t out of you, but for me…it was plain vanilla.I was then on Indian soil, for I still remember stepping on some shit. The Chinese had started bombarding, and we had taken cover. Or do you think, I need to give you some more backgrounder before I proceed with my story?I had joined the Indian Army, and in the early 1960s was posted at Aksai Chin region of Ladakh. Today, that land is with China. But it was Indian when this story of mine begins.In the 1962 India-China war Aksai Chin was captured along with 33,000 square kilometers of Indian territory. China doesn’t accept it as Indian land and says India has captured its area – which is supposed to be Arunachal Pradesh.Ever since, India-China have mended their fences. That is,
The 21st century woman 2006-09-05 13:18:00 Earlier I used to think that I should marry a lady army officer. I started nursing thiswish after I failed the National Defense Academy exam 5 years ago!But now as things have changed drastically for me in the last 5 years and I am no whereclose to Army, I think I should look forward in the direction of redefining mypreferences, how about a 21st century woman
?And who is she? Let us have a looksie -She is the one who goes to the moon as an astronaut, yet is at loggerheads in thehouse, failing to understand how a DVD player needs to be operated. The same womancan go to combat wearing the fatigues, but lets out a shriek on seeing a cockroach.The same woman, who cannot read a map and changes her mind every second. The samewoman, who has no addictions - except for lipsticks, shoes, nail-polish and hand bags.The same woman who claims to hate lies, demanding that I should never lie to her…yetwhen my moment of triumph comes, fakes an orgasm.The woman who chooses her own man. The woman who in
My Best Friend! 2006-08-29 17:37:00 My best friend! Now as i am going to write this blog, it reminded of me of my school days (yes i was inone) where our teacher used to ask us to write essays on different (meaningless) topics.Topics like "my favourite hill station" , "my pet moti" , "cow has four legs" ,"my bestfriend" etc etc. So today i am going to write one just for my best friend!!andsupposing i am still in my 4th standard:Mybest friend's name is Isha Arora.She is my best friend.We both are in same class.She is very helpful. (actually not)She helps me in my home work. (she never did it)We go to school together in same bus. (she always takes the window seat)Whenever its raining, we share the same umbrella. (but its mine)Everyday we both share our lunch during the recess break. (she eats alot)Once i asked her, if she had an extra pencil,she said yes and gave me the pencil. (but that wasn't sharpened)Since then we became best friends.One day she gave me 5rs for bying an incecream. (actually i gave her)I tell her ever
I have never sat on an airplane 2006-08-13 16:07:00 I promise.The first time I tried, they said I shouldn’t sit ON the plane. Thelast time I tried, they said there were no vacant seats available.I remember, in one of my attempts I was arrested by the NepaliGovt. I remember being tortured by the Nepali Police officials forclose to five days who then dumped me at the Nepal-India border (dothey have one?). As luck would have it, the Border Security Forcepicked me up and sent me to the Red Fort in Delhi. I would later cometo know that all high-level terrorist interrogation happened there.I remember refusing to divulge anything (more because I had nothingto divulge). After another 4-5 days of torture I was sent back homefor lack of evidence against me.I wouldn’t have been arrested if I hadn’t bought a kilogram of applesin Kathmandu. Saurabh, a frequent traveler and a good friend had toldme that the Kathmandu apples were tasty. He also told me he alwayscarried a pocket knife with him so that he could peel the apples andeat them during t
Science is funny! 2006-08-13 15:44:00 Science is funny…Science is funny. Don’t believe me? I thought as much. After all, a few (including you) believe that the ability to make somebody laugh is an art and not science. And if science was funny…wouldn’t humor be science? Confused?Take this friend of mine – a neutron - for example. He went to a pub to order a drink, and when it was the time to pay the cheque, the bartender refused to accept any money saying: “Sir, for you…no charge.” (got the joke?)Not knowing why the bartender refused to take any money from him, this neutron friend of mine came out of the pub. Just outside, he came across a very drunk atom.Like all of us who drink, these two drunks, started talking.An upset neutron told the atom: “They refused to take any money from me.”Atom enquired “Why?”Neutron: “Don’t know man. I am sure there is something fishy happening here.”Atom: “I also have this feeling. As soon as I came to this pub, I lost an electron.”Neutron: “What? You lost Read more:Science
What is in a name…. 2006-08-13 15:35:00 What is in a name….Shakespeare said it. And we have lived with it. But there is a lot in aname. Shakespeare who in one of his theatre production (think Romeo &Juliet) said “What is in a name. A rose by any name will smell thesame.”I disagree. If that were so, why is Shah Rukh Khan always named‘Rahul’ in his movies?And why was Amitabh always named ‘Vijay’ in hismovies? Why were these two men never named Ramaswamy or ChandraShekaran ?While on the topic of names in movies…we cannot ignore the fact thatall male servants are named ‘Ramu’. Watchmen are always ‘Bahadur’.One small Trivia: In the movies made in 1940s and 50s Ramu used tobe the hero’s name.When on the subject matter of watchmen…how can we forget thecriminals? Those that are always named Peter, Tony and Robert. Everwondered why the henchmen are always Christians? Some day I wantto catch a movie-maker by his collar bone and question him on whythey never name the henchmen…Shivnarain, Narayanamurthy or
A "Good" Night 4 me. 2006-07-26 14:26:00 It was again a lonely night for me and no was with me and i was just looking out from the window and different thoughts were crossing my mind.. what to do, what not to do.. as now i had started feeling the burden of the problems i was facing.. i did'nt knew what to do?It was not the first time all this was happening and we all come across these situations in our life.. sometimes on smaller issues and probelems and some time may be quite serious ones. And if we don't know how to face all this.. there is some thing which automatically drags us through all that and eventually that phase gets over. Days gets past and again somedays after we see ourself again sitting besides the window one night and gazing the sky thinking and thinking... Life goes on and many of life's moments come back with the vicious circle.So.. i was also in my deepest of thoughts and as this time i had many probelems i did'nt knew what the hell i'm going to do.. it started raining.. suddenly a cool breeze started Read more:Night
Why can`t I pee properly? 2006-07-26 14:15:00 Why can`t I pee properly?Man they say was never made for toilets, or is it that toilets were never made for man? Anyways, here I am not pointing a finger at all the saints who for close to 2-3 minutes give up theirWorldly belongings, which more often than not is just some pride and a little bit of shame,and piss on the road side.I am talking about the guys at home. The innocent one, who cannot even peacefully pee at hishouse - thanks to all those women who have branded him as a good-for-nothing when it comesto toiletsToilets? Yeah, I know there are two types, the Indian & the Western styles. And in this piece wewill be briefly touching (not exactly touching) all the types. Sometimes, I wonder if there is aEastern style of toilets. Perhaps the Japanese have them...but I would never know...The guys I am talking about are the ones that have atleast two credit cards in their walletand owe the banks atleast fifty thousand. These are the people who actually work hard(afterall they got to
Traffic JAMS what to do???????? 2006-07-25 09:41:00 Now this is routine for me now. I am talking about the traffic jams that i bravely encounter and go through successfully(some times not) each and every day twice. This has become a part of my daily schedule and now i happily waste about two to three hours in these jamsIn the morning when i step out of my house and proceeds towards my car, i start preparing myself mentally for the traffic jam that i would be stuck in after a few minutes. I always expect a traffic jam and it is always there, and fortunately or unfortunately(i do'nt know) when its not there.. I REALLY MISS IT. Yes, in the last two years, i am addicted to traffic jams and i just can not live without them its like a part of my life now.love the jams on the signals, where you can not see the traffic lights from where you are stuck. You do'nt know when and how much traffic will move and your car moves with the snail's pace.Then i remember the saying 'slow and steady wins the race', and i try to be calm and think slow and
A Dog's Life 2006-06-06 16:15:00 Adog's LifeAt the drop of a hat we use the phrase, “a dog’s life.”When somebody asked, “So how is it going?” I would reply, “It has been a dog’s life.”All the while I never thought how a Dog’s life would be. Now when I think…I shudder. He would get up in the morning, i.e., if he were not run over by drunken lorry drivers, when he was sleeping on the road. No brushing of teeth or taking a bath. No prayers required.He could go to the nearby tea-shop and stand there pleading some kind-looking soul. If he obliges, our Dog would have a biscuit to ward off the early morning hunger. For lunch, the Dog will go looking for a non-vegetarian hotel where they throw away the chicken or mutton waste out in the open. In India, there are many such hotels, and our protagonist has a good meal.Of course, he has to use his survival instincts to beat the street-corner beggar who is also looking for some protein-rich diet. A fulfilled, yet thirsty Dog would go looking for drinking water
Deep Grey Tears 2006-06-06 16:04:00 Look what ive donewhat you drove me to doplaying hard to getteasing and taunting me tooive tied you up nowall you did was screambut i knocked you outwent deep into dreami took off your clothesand had my wayyou cried the whole timesilently with no saythis wouldnt have happendif you didnt play with my headnow you're mine foreverwell atleast until your deadi liked to hit youand watch red marks appeari didnt care if i was caughti was on a high with no feari liked to burn youand cut open your fleshthen i would dress you upso you would look your besti liked to play with youand f**k you til you bledsometimes you resistedso id smack you over the headyour deep grey eyesnever without a tearid always be right by youso close and so nearyou told me you were sorryfor the way you treated mebut see i was having fun nowall this for freeyou paid the priceeverytime i hurt younow you know what it felt likethis torture was newi didnt regret itand id do it againyou deseverd everything i didevery last ounce Read more:Tears
Where is the Submit (to sex) button? 2007-03-22 10:33:00 There is so much humor in sex. Is it me or is it the World that’s failing to understand? I mean, why do we have to read news items like Church warden charged after sex with corpse? Totally uncalled for.Here are a few quotes that take sex lightly and make fun of people who don’t get enough of it.Life is a sexually transmitted disease.R. D. LaingI'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.Garry Shandling (1949 - )Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination. Bill Watterson (1958 - )Calvin in "Calvin and Hobbes"I know nothing about sex because I was always married.Zsa Zsa Gabor (1919 - )(this one is my favourite!)I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.George Burns (1896 - 1996)Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.Jimmy DemaretAn intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963)Women need a reason to have sex. Men jus Read more:Submit
, button
Ek hai pyaari chhoti bacchi 2007-03-27 15:23:00 This poem is for my BEST FRIEND! Ek hai pyaari chhoti bacchibaatein karti hai bohot acchipar hamesha karti hai kuch khat-patkyunki bachpan se hi hai vo natkhat!nanhi nanhi aankhein uskidaant nikaalkar vo khoob hastipange lena hai uska parttime jobkhoob jamaati hai vo apna raub!machli jal ki rani haipar yeh line bohot puraani haiab to vo choti bacchi hi..is jag ki maharaani haiaisa koi nahi jo isse bach payechoti hote hue bhi, bade bade isse darr jaaye!jal ki sadkon par jab yeh bike chalyebaaki sab ki hawa nikal jaayeped pe chad amrood ye todejungle mei jakar sher ko fodechai bane mein yh hai no.1kabhi nahi leti yeh koi tension!chhoti si yeh titli haiajab karishme karti haikab aati kab jaati haihamesha tamashe karti haiaur bhindi bhi mehngi bechti hai!Sabse choti dost yeh merisabse pyaari dost yeh merisabse dulaari dost yeh merisabse acchi dost yeh merihamesha rahe yeh khilkhilaati muskuraatibass yehi hai ab wish meri!
Kiss Youtube -- another way to download youtube videos 2007-03-29 11:52:00 hi friendsi just discovered this amazing new website called kissyoutube.com which allows you to download youtube videos
in a very cool way . Just check the text below(which i have copied it from their website) to see the method .Whenever you are watching video on YouTube, goto the address bar at the top of your browser.Notice the URL is something like this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRTk0RPXtW42. Just in front of the youtube.com domain name, insert the word 'kiss'.Eg. http://www.kissyoutube.com/watch?v=tRTk0RPXtW43. Press the 'Enter' key and it will bring you to this website. Click on the download link provided to save the video to your computer. NOTE: Remember to save your video with ".flv" extension. Eg. some_video_filename.flv.Use the free flv player we recommend to play the video.
Today's two bits... 2007-03-30 16:35:00 Came across this interesting link and thought I might as well share it with you.http://uncyclopedia.org/ - A satire site, which is patterned on the lines of Wikipedia.com. Especially liked their piece on Captain Obvious.And here is something I came across in the Indian Association for the Study of Population’s website (just kidding). It is the formula to estimate India’s population at any given time –Apparently, this formula is sometimes also referred to as ‘A Lot’.Just to increase your knowledge March30 is celebrated as the National Cleavage Day (UK) [TRUST ME] Read more:Today
DELHI BUS DRIVERS OFFER SUPER ADVENTURE 2007-04-07 18:26:00 If you want an adventure in India, don't go to the beach.Just go to New Delhi and get on a bus. Hold on tight. Sayyour prayers. Prepare for the ride of your life.If you're lucky, you'll survive your trip around the capitalwith nary a scratch. But if you're unlucky ... well, atleast your life ended in an adventurous way.Every time you ride a bus in Delhi, you're taking a chance.Your driver may not know what he's doing. And he may notknow what he's seeing. Yes, the poor chap may be almostBLIND.You'd be safer with a monkey at the wheel.Well, perhaps that's an exaggeration. Perhaps I should befair to the drivers: You'd be safer with a TRAINED monkey atthe wheel.A recent survey conducted by the Institute of Driver andTraining Research found that nearly a quarter of Delhi'spublic bus drivers lack basic driving skills and hundreds ofthem have vision problems.Now you know why so many buses end up with their wheels inthe air. Even after such accidents, some drivers are stillshifting
The Sexy Mafia 2007-04-07 18:16:00 This is a poem written long back. Have fun...just donot give it to your girl friend...let me tell you..she would not be amused.The Sexy Mafia
I know this girlAnd I think she is mafia.Shes a BOMB herself.Now, that's a handy weapon. She also sells opiumFor when I near herI get a high. An expert in unarmed combat,She just has to touch me.And I cave in. Shes got weapons hiddenUnderneath her jacketThat could blow my head apart. She avoids the public glare.Prefers `secret' redenzvous.But I dare not. For I am a man of virtues,A man quite chaste.Joining a mafioso is ....er..Not upto my taste!!!
TSUNAMI 3,500 years ago?? 2007-05-05 14:48:00 Until about 3,500 years ago, a spectacular ancient civilization was flourishing in the Eastern Mediterranean.The ancient Minoans were building palaces, paved streets and sewers, while most Europeans were still living in primitive huts.The myth of Atlantis, the city state that was lost beneath the sea, was first mentioned by Plato over 2000 years ago.It has had a hold on the popular imagination for centuries.A group of scientists have uncovered new evidence that the island of Crete was hit by a massive tsunami at the same time that Minoan culture disappeared.Many scientists are still of the view that these waves only blasted material away and did not leave much behind in the way of deposits.Source: bbc.com
Bloggerwave is a newly launched get-paid-to-... 2007-05-05 14:18:00 Bloggerwave is a newly launched get-paid-to-blog service that gives bloggers a huge opportunity in making money through blogging. I’ve found this site on UtterlyGeek.com blog that also a registered blogger under Bloggerwave. It’s so easy to sign up, just fill in the forms and wait for the email from Bloggerwave activation but if you didn’t received any email in your inbox you might want to check on you junk mail folders. When I encountered this problem as I didn’t received any email in both my inbox and junk mail folder, I’ve sent an email to Bloggerwave and they kindly enough to reply and said that my email have been sent either in my inbox or junk mail folder. So for all bloggers you might want to check this opportunity now.
Say hello to 'Manly Cooking Tips' 2007-05-06 13:49:00 Step 1. Boil some water.Step 2. Skim over the directions (in case you forget necessary ingredients such as water or heat).Step 3. Dip your finger in. If it hurts like a bitch, it’s ready for more ingredients.Read More Read more:Manly
Being a writer is tough… 2007-06-02 09:51:00 I am writing a book. I have got the page numbers done. - Steven WrightSome of the comments left in my Blog are very flattering on the surface - they say I should get into writing. I ask them all: “Haven’t I already started? And aren’t you reading what I wrote?”Anyways….you can be excused for not knowing my literary prowess. A few of my friends believe that my connection with the literary world began when I accidentally hit RK Narayan’s car while it was returning after dropping the ace Indian writer at a funeral. I was on my bicycle….and was ten years old.Connection or no connection…let me go ahead with my story. Initially, I started writing because it gave me pleasure. It was fun. And then, I wondered why not do it for friends and relatives…I started writing poems for their girl friends, their leave letters etc. Years have gone by since I first wielded my pen and now I intend to make money out of it.Sounds very much like prostitution…first you do it for self…then
Conversation: Osama vs Batman 2007-09-12 12:09:00 Riddler and the Joker are now passé - superhero Batman
now has a new enemy. In his latest comic which has already hit the stands he takes on the World’s most dreaded terrorist - Osama
bin Laden. Al Qaeda attacks Batman’s Gotham city, which is then rescued by the caped crusader. Here is a conversation Batman and Osama had in the Batmobile, after the latter was arrested. Osama: Why did you have to arrest me?Batman: If I didn’t, Superman would have and I didn’t want DC Comics to make all the money.Osama: So it is all about money. Batman: Of course yes. Why do you ask?Osama: I am surprised. I never killed for money.Batman: I am not surprised. Different people have different passion.Osama: What do you mean?Batman: Take George Bush for example. Why do you think he has blood on his hands? Osama: Why?Batman: No wonder you got arrested. It is for ‘oil’ you dumbo.Osama: What will he do with all the oil?Batman: Like Gotham city, everything in America also runs on oil and Bush just wa Read more:Conversation
Just the matter of time.. 2008-06-05 11:30:00 Its just the matter
of time and it will happen.No need to look back when are at the verge of getting it right.Last step is the hardest step, but you ought to take it firmly in order to get things tight.No matter how much tey pull you apart,just dont let things fade,in the end you will get the reward.This is me myself talking to my own selfand i cant tell you whats going on in my mind.I am just wai
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