Owner: Laugh IT Out URL:http://www.laughitout.com/ Join Date: Mon, 12 May 2008 12:58:20 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Laugh IT Out is a blog about jokes, funny pictures, funny stories , funny quotes etc. Come here for daily smile Site statistics:Click here
Things Never to Say to a Cop 2008-05-11 13:40:16 1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)2. Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.3. Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?4. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!5. Are You Andy or Barney?6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.7. You’re not
Investment Advice 2008-05-10 07:29:31 If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock some time ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00. With Worldcom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00. Based on th Read more:Investment Advice
Investment Advice 2008-05-10 07:28:14 If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock some time ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00. With Worldcom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00. Based on th Read more:Investment Advice
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly 2008-05-10 06:55:35 Good: Your wife is pregnant.Bad: She's having triplets.Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.Good: Your wife is not talking to you.Bad: She wants a divorce.Ugly: She's a lawyer.Good: Your son is finally maturing.Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.Ugly: So are you.Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.Bad: You find several pornographic movies hidden there.Ugly: You're in them.Good: Y
Put Your Affairs In Order 2008-05-10 06:54:13 A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, ‘I’ve some bad news.You have cancer, and you’d best put your affairs in order.’The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. ‘Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don’t go so wel Read more:Affairs
, Order
Kids aren’t as dumb as you think… 2008-05-08 12:16:27 A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ’What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Read more:think
Top 10 signs you’re really broke… 2008-05-08 12:09:52 10. McDonald’s supplies you with all your kitchen condiments. 9. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a fine restaurant. 8. You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank. 7. You’ve rolled so many pennies, you’ve formed a psychic bond with Abe. 6. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change. 5. Your credit card companies raised the rates from 6.9% to 24 Read more:signs
, broke
Some Funny Conversations 2008-05-08 11:44:56 Customer : Waiter, do you serve pigs?Waiter : Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.Lady : Is this my train?Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Jersy.Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
Read more:Funny
A Letter To Bill Gates 2008-05-07 12:42:29 Dear Mr. Bill Gates
,This letter is from Johnny from Hawaii. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.After connecting to Internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem o Read more:Letter
, Bill Gates
Sweet Revenge 2008-05-07 12:26:47 Leola Starling of Ribrock, Tenn., had a serious telephone problem. But unlike most people she did something about it. The brand-new $10 million Ribrock Plaza Motel opened nearby and had acquired almost the same telephone number as Leola. From the moment the motel opened, Leola was besieged by calls not for her. Since she had the same phone number for years, she felt that she had a case to persuad Read more:Sweet
, Revenge
“Blondes Are Not Stupid” Convention 2008-05-06 12:16:24 80,000 blondes are gathered for a “Blondes
Are Not Stupid
” convention. The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?” A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, “What is 15 plus 15?” After 15 or 20 seconds she says, “18!” Obviously, everyone is a little disap Read more:Convention
Actual Questions Asked From National Park Rangers 2008-05-06 12:03:22 From the May 1995 issue of Outside magazine:GRAND CANYON: * Was this man made? * Do you light it up at night? * Is the mule train air conditioned? * So where are the faces of the presidents? EVERGLADES NATIONAL PARK: * Are the alligators real? * Are the baby alligators for sale? * Where are all the rides? * What time does the 2 o’clock bus leave? MESA VERDE NATIONAL P Read more:National
, Rangers
, National Park
IT Professionals Explained 2008-05-06 10:37:02 1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks Nine women can deliver a baby in One month.2) Developer is a Person who thinks a single woman cannot deliver a baby in nine months.3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.4) Client is one who knows that it takes a man, a woman & nine months to deliver a baby.5) Marketing manager is a person who thi
Matrimonial Ads By Various Professionals 2008-05-05 12:09:25 SOFTWARE ENGINEERS:Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUIwith Security features(privileges only for the Specific User especially critical Functionalities).There must not be any Critical or Medium Bug in her. Low Bugs can be deffereed But needs to B fixed by the Next Build. She must _NOT_ be PLATFORM INDEPENDENT or USER FRIENDLY.We are ready to Test the Application & CERTIFY the
Obsessed Mothers And Their Children 2008-05-13 12:45:46 A psychiatrist was conducting group therapy with four young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” the doctor observed. To the 1st mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.” He looks to the 2nd mother, “Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” He looks to the 3rd mother. Read more:Mothers
, Children
British Hospitality... 2008-05-12 13:16:59 An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter.After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighborhood with big, stately residences...no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all NO PUBLI Read more:British
, Hospitality
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