Owner: Laugh IT Out URL:http://www.laughitout.com/ Join Date: Mon, 12 May 2008 12:58:20 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Laugh IT Out is a blog about jokes, funny pictures, funny stories , funny quotes etc. Come here for daily smile Site statistics:Click here
Never Eat Out Of Old Lady's Bowl 2008-05-26 11:57:20 A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he's absentmindedly finished the entire bowl. "I'm so sorry, auntie, I've eaten all of your peanuts!""That's okay, dearie," the
Sharing Is Such A Good Thing 2008-05-27 13:20:34 An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant. They order one hamburger, one order of fries and one drink.The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife. He takes a sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip and then Read more:Sharing
, Thing
Applying for Job 2008-05-27 13:14:57 An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No."The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?"The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."Laugh--IT--Out
Fifty dollars is fifty dollars 2008-05-29 11:52:01 Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter."Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars
and fifty dollars is fifty dollars"One year Esther and Morris went to the fair and Morris said, "Esther, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never ge
T.G.I.F - NO S.H.I.T. 2008-05-29 10:22:16 A business man got on an elevator.When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F."He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T."She looked puzzled, and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly.He again answered, "S-H-I-T."The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F."The man smiled back to her an
Something Nice For Dad 2008-05-29 10:04:39 Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, “Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill.” Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense. Bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, and finally the man called his b
Funny Work Quotes 2008-05-28 14:01:32 The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. Robert Frost The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse Dennis Miller Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Edgar Bergen Doing nothing is very hard to do…you never know Read more:Funny
, Quotes
The Benefits of Getting Older 2008-05-28 12:58:35 1. You can eat dinner at 4.00.2. Your investment in health insurance is finally beiginning to pay off.3. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.4. It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.5. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.6. Your eyes won't get much worse.7. You sing along with the elevator music.8. You no longer think of spe Read more:Benefits
Blonde Detectives 2008-05-28 12:57:12 A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"The Policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture sh Read more:Blonde
Training A New Priest 2008-05-30 13:52:37 The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand......and try saying things like, 'I see', 'yes', 'go on', and 'I understand Read more:Training
, Priest
Secret Service Blonde 2008-05-30 13:14:19 The Secret Service
was looking for more employees. They put up a sign and the next day they picked the next three people. They brought the first guy into a room and gave him a pistol and said" Your wife is in that room go in and shoot her" The guy looked at them and said" No I can't do it" So the Secret Service
brought out the next guy and told him the same thing and handed him the gun. "He went i Read more:Blonde
Short Jokes - Just Damn Funny 2008-06-01 12:22:11 Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."Joe: "Really?"Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling."I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse."OOPS!"While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of ba Read more:Short
, Jokes
, Funny
Technical Farmer 2008-06-01 12:13:01 A man was walking along a country road and came upon a farmer working in his field.The man called out to the farmer and asked how long it would take him to get to the next town.The farmer didn't answer.So, after waiting a bit, the fellow started walking again.After the man had gone about 100 yards the farmer yelled, "About 20 minutes."Confused, the man turned back toward the farmer and inquired,"W Read more:Technical
How To Tell The Males Flies From The Females 2008-06-01 11:16:01 A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband with a fly swatter..“What are you doing?” she asked..“Hunting Flies
”, he responded..“Oh! Killing any?” she asked..“Yep, 3 males, 2 females”, he replied..Intrigued, she asked, “How can you tell them apart?”.He responded, “3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.”Laugh--IT--Out
Read more:Males
, Females
Football Fever 2008-05-31 12:51:15 Humans are not the only one effected.....Laugh--IT--Out
Read more:Football
, Fever
Reward For Goodness 2008-05-31 12:22:52 Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates.The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for you.To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife." Read more:Goodness
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