Owner: Her Bad Mother URL:http://www.badladies.blogspot.com Join Date: Fri, 02 Mar 2007 18:23:57 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Bad Is The New Good: Parenthood is easiest if you keep your expectations low. Site statistics:Click here
We Are Not Alone 2007-03-01 18:29:00 When WonderBaby was born, I was overcome with amazement at the miracle that I had performed. I was overwhelmed with joy. I was suffused with love.
I felt as though I had been hit by a truck.
It was (it remains) a complicated emotional experience. I was experiencing love as I had never experienced it before: I felt, at the moment of her birth, that I finally understood love, real love, the kind
They Had Me At 'Scrotum' 2007-02-28 20:22:00 News Flash: 'Scrotum
' is a dirty word. You know, like dick, or weiner, or purple-headed trouser snake (which is, I know, four words, but still.)
You do not want your children to ever hear the word scrotum. Or read it. It will scar them, or, at the very least, prevent them from ever being able to appreciate Quality Literature, in which, I am told, no references to male genitalia ever appear.
(Ah
Her Bad Hair 2007-02-27 01:46:00 Because I've nothing to add to all of the post-Oscar commentary that is circulating the Internet (except, perhaps, this: what was up with all those puke tones? Mint green? Coral? SALMON? Almost made it possible to overlook the hideous bow on Nicole Kidman's mercifully non-puke-toned dress. Almost.)
And, because any discussion that I might offer about this today would rapidly deteriorate into
Dads Can Be Lactivists, Too! 2007-02-25 22:56:00 Overheard at the Bunch Family Salon, as WonderBaby raced in circles with a giant bottle purloined from the Lorraine Kimsa Theatre Props Corner:
Dad #1: Do you suppose that's formula or expressed breastmilk in that bottle?Dad #2: If that's breastmilk, I'd sure like to meet the mother.
Ba-dum-DUM.
The Kid Stays In The Picture 2007-02-22 22:53:00 The artist.
The art.
*******
It is possible that the fact that I let my fifteen-month old daughter use my camera and then post the product of her efforts on the Internet is just so much more evidence that I am an unrepentant attention-whore who publicly exploits the precociousness of her child in order to affirm her own identity as a mother on the cutting edge of cool, if such a thing is not Read more:Picture
Mothers Are The New Sheep 2007-02-20 20:12:00 I became a mother because everyone else was doing it. No, really – I kept seeing all those flashy strollers and cool diaper bags and hip pregnancy clothes and I said to myself, girlfrennn! We have got to get us some of that! I’d been, like, totally ambivalent about having kids for, like, forever, but then when I saw that it was cool? And that everybody else was doing it? And that it meant more Read more:Mothers
, Sheep
Heart, Dropped. 2007-02-19 01:42:00 When WonderBaby was not quite four months old, she fell off of her change table. Well, fell isn't quite the right word. I can't say that she jumped - she still being in her infancy at the time - but there certainly seemed to be an element of will in the flight that she took. I had just bent down to retrieve the diaper, which - along with the baby wipes and the butt cream and the rectal Read more:Dropped
, Heart
Where's the Guide to Chocoholic-Proofing Your Marriage? 2007-02-16 21:25:00 I ask you, is pilfering and sampling of one's Valentine's gift by one's spouse (the giver) a good reason to get pissy with said spouse?
A Valentine's heart, pillaged and scavenged, left with only the half-bitten carcasses of unwanted fondant. A clear case of marital (and confectionary) delinquency - but one warranting punishment?(In my defense, the heart was left, untouched, for two days. Two Read more:Guide
Exposed 2007-02-13 20:00:00 Yesterday, I received a very sweet e-mail from a self-professed ‘dedicated lurker’ who asked the following question: I wonder if you are ever concerned that your daughter's (beautiful) image will remain in cyberspace, with no mechanism for you -- or her -- to reclaim it or her privacy?
She meant no disrespect by the question, she insisted; she just wanted to know. But she had been, she admitted,
Blah, blah, blah... 2007-02-12 03:05:00 Because I'm lecturing on Hegel this week and, although it's tempting to try to whip something up about how public reaction to the death of Anna Nicole Smith demonstrates the extent to which our culture really is a world of self-alienated spirit wherein our understanding of ourselves as self-conscious subjects can really be radically thrown by our recognition of a washed-up drugged-up former
Cirque du WonderBaby 2007-02-09 18:36:00 (Late! Breaking! Edits! And! Additions! Below!) Featuring the rodeo stylings of the amazing WonderBaby
, and her trusty steed, Rocker Moose!
And in other news...
1) Her Bad Mother is a finalist in the Share the Love Blog Awards, in the category of Most Thought-Provoking. I'm not sure what kind of thoughts I'm provoking (judging from my Google search hits, dirty ones, mostly. Sex with a bad mutha Read more:Cirque
Things You Can't Tell Just By Looking At Her 2007-02-07 22:23:00 Because my favorite British redhead-cum-superheroine said that she would hose me down with breastmilk if I didn’t do this meme…
Herewith, six weird things about me:
1. I don’t drive. I could if I wanted to – that is, if I overcame my fear of operating heavy machinery, learned to drive, and acquired a license – but I don’t. The only problem is this: it’s hard to be a soccer mom on a bicycle. So
Acquainted With The Night 2007-02-05 21:57:00 I was listening for her, last night, as I lay awake in a tangle of sheets and Kleenex and wakefulness. I had expected to remain awake, even though the bottle of Nyquil - acquired primarily for its cough-suppressing, rather than its sleep-inducing, qualities - warned of likely drowsiness. (Do not operate heavy machinery, it cautions. All right then, but only if we suppose that my psyche is not Read more:Night
The Difference A Day Makes 2007-02-04 02:28:00 It's hard to think, let alone write, on no sleep. Which is why, I think, it just so extraordinary that there are so many parents out there producing such good writing - we're all so frequently sleep-deprived. How does any parent manage to think coherently on those long, foggy, sleep-deprived days, let alone spin thought into word and weave prose?
I'm currently sleep deprived, but it has nothing
When Bad Things Happen To Good Dolls 2007-02-01 15:34:00 **Because appending notes to old posts is easier than writing new ones... post-script added below...
I was greeted, when I returned home from teaching yesterday, by this apparition: WonderBaby's Holly Hobby doll (a gift from her bad grandma), strapped into a toy stroller and decked out in do-rag and bling (and yes, one mitten and one evening glove. It's cold out, you know.)
This, WonderBaby's Read more:Dolls
, Things Happen
I Was Drinking When I Wrote This 2007-01-30 16:10:00 *Edited below! Because this post wasn't quite long enough!
If you were cruising the mom-and-dad-o-sphere this past weekend, you no doubt became aware of the crime against sanity that was last week's Today Show discussion on mothers who tipple (a discussion that included our very own Melissa and Stefanie). Apparently, mothers who drink alcohol in front of their children - any drink, any amount - Read more:Drinking
Naissance 2007-01-28 01:19:00 Yesterday was my blog birthday. This blog is one year old.
I know that most people like to call it an anniversary, or a blogiversary, but I really prefer to think of it as a sort of birth. One without the pain and the drugs and the torn-up hoo-hah, but a birthday nonetheless. One year ago yesterday, I created something. I took part of myself and made something of it and thrust it out into the
Bad on Bad 2007-01-26 01:51:00 I was not, as a child, overly fond of Beatrix Potter books. I did like the witty renderings of hedgehogs in waistcoats and ducks sipping tea and rabbits losing their trousers, but the stories were, I felt, either excessively dull (Jeremy Fisher the frog is unsuccessful in catching the lunch that he has planned for his friends but it all ends well because they bring salad!) or excessively
Served with whine 2007-01-24 03:59:00 The other week, after I had written that post about parental vanity, I remarked to my husband that I was a bit concerned about ending that post on a down note. It was hard, I said to him after publishing the post, to find a way to end that discussion without getting all sad and low and woe-is-me...
'Sad and low and woe-is-me'? he replied, his tongue not-quite-firmly-in-cheek. Isn't that your
Pho-ning it in... 2007-01-22 03:41:00 I had, I promise you, all manner of fascinating anecdote and deep thought to share with you this weekend, but I am, simply, TOO TIRED.
So you will just have to make do, for today, with this little piece of WonderBaby trivia: her current favourite food - preferred over such adored, but lesser, delicacies as blueberries, yogourt, cheese (old cheddar), tofu and cake - is pho. With chopsticks.
Putting Things To Rest 2007-01-19 02:29:00 It is widely agreed, among our friends and family, that WonderBaby looks a lot like me. There's a lot of Her Bad Father in her (her height, her cheeky smile, something about the curve of her brow), but at first glance the resemblance is most obviously to me, her mother: she has (as they say) my eyes, my ears; her colouring is mine, as is her big round head. (She also has my freakishly long Read more:Putting
Wherever You Go, There You Are 2007-01-16 20:33:00 As I mentioned in my last post, we're having trouble sleeping around here. But I have to say: it's not so much the lack of sleep that is weighing heavily upon me (although that lack is a weight uncomfortably borne), as it is the realization, for the gazillionth time, that I have no idea what I'm doing, as a mother.
This really is the most difficult thing about being a parent, I think: no matter
The Gift 2006-05-17 23:58:00 New links are being added to the Great Mommy Blogger Love-In daily. Keep checking out those posts (I'll put a permanent link in my sidebar, soonish). And keep sending them in, if you haven't already done so. No deadline. Each Friday, I'll be doing a post about these posts, a few at a time, so that they can be properly celebrated, until we've gone through them all. Enjoy.
*****
Since WonderBaby
The first day of the rest of my life 2006-01-26 23:13:00 November 14, 2005. Okay, so it was technically the first day of her life (and today the 74th), but really, in the fullest cheesy-Hallmark sense of the saying, it was the first day of the rest of my life. Because what they don't tell you in pregnancy school (that blur of pregnancy magazines, websites, What to Expect Books and solicited and unsolicited advice that surrounds you for 10 months) is
A Bellyful of Light 2007-03-03 17:42:00 This is me, some 30+ hours before WonderBaby arrived in the open air of this fine world. I was in the beginning stages of labour; I thought (thought) that my water had broken (how one gets this wrong I still do not know) and had hied me hence to the hospital as instructed by my doctor (group B strep positive). It was complicated and frustrating and soon to get very, very painful, but I was - as
Now I Know My ABCs... 2007-03-06 00:03:00 Still Life with Underwear and Alphabet on Toy Chest.
Care to venture a guess on what the story is behind this sweet tableau? No prizes, but an enthusiastic virtual high-five to anyone who guesses correctly. High-five on the flip side if you come up with a story that's better than the truth.
(I have a wicked headache, and I demand to be entertained. Bring it, people. Amuse me. I'll return the
In Paradisum 2007-03-07 02:04:00 I could not blog light-heartedly this evening.
You may not know Rob, or his blog, How About Two. Or maybe you do know him, and have followed the stories of his wife's pregnancy with twins, and his efforts to prepare himself for fatherhood. But whether you already know him, or don't yet know him, you should know this: he's one of us, a parent who is embracing parenthood with his words. And he,
My Blogroll 2006-04-21 01:11:00 My dusty old blogroll, which I am forever neglecting to update. If you'd like to see your blog on this list, leave me a comment here and I'll add it in! Note that it may take me some weeks to add your URL, depending upon how recently I've updated and whether or not I am suffering from PMS or some other pernicious hormone cocktail...I don't insist upon quid pro quo (quid pro blogroll?), but Read more:Blogroll
D is for Dirty, That's Good Enough for Me 2007-03-08 17:05:00 Edited below! Lost passages from the verse-epic have been recovered!
So I had this crazy, dirty alphabet ditty all done up for you - inspired by you, you dirty dawgs - all nicely laid out on my Blogger screen with pictures and everything and then I go to save it and pfaff... "YOU ARE NOT LOGGED IN. PLEASE LOG IN AND TRY AGAIN."
And, just like that, it's gone. Apparently, my original post was Read more:Enough
, Good Enough
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