Owner: Monkee URL:http://www.monkee.typepad.com Join Date: Thu, 01 Mar 2007 13:29:24 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Daily pictures and humorous posts. Site statistics:Click here
We love the little fishies...all up. 2007-03-01 04:14:18
I want to talk about a topic tonight that I fear will be a source of
tremendous controversy
I want to talk about a topic tonight that I fear
will be a source of tremendous controversy.
I know the best and worst thing about the internet is how it provides
such a public platform for people to express opinions that under normal
circumstances would prove unpopular at best, but in this case I think it’s
important to speak out. So, here we
go…I love sushi. There, I’ve said
it. I won’t lie, there was a time when
the thought of eating raw fish made me all twitchy inside, but frankly, I
didn’t know what I was missing. Of
course, no matter how happy I am with the outcome of my reformation, there are
still people out there who would recoil at the idea of allowing raw sea-life
into their digestive tracts to swim about willy nilly and these are the people who
will violently reject this post, hunt me down, and scratch me behind the ears*
like the dog that I am. Read more:little
Squirrel Snacker 2007-03-01 04:12:59 Squirrel
Snacker Originally uploaded by Monkee16. Do you mind? I'm eating.
Never at work, of course...Nope, never at work... 2007-02-28 01:54:20
The
problem with blogging when you have OCD tendencies is that there are so many
things to become obsessive about. I’ve
talked about my obsessive (read: retarded) need to post everyday before, but
that’s really just the tip of the iceberg. There’s also the comments and my
need to respond to as many of them as I can.
This, in turn, leads to constant email checking to see if a comment has
been made. While I’m online looking to
see if I got any emails, I might also have to go poking around for ideas for that
night’s post, not to mention checking in with other blogs to spread the comment
wealth. Of course
, once I’ve commented
on a site I feel obliged to keep commenting to let them know I’m still there,
so they don’t think they’re losing readership.
Again, ‘cause I’m OCD. It’s not
really a choice; it’s more of an impulse I can’t control. Worse, though, than all of these things is
my compulsive urge to check the
And the winner is... 2007-02-27 02:47:26
Well, I don’t think there were enough entries to constitute a formal
contest so I’m just going to post the stories I did get
Well, I don’t think there were enough entries to
constitute a formal contest so I’m just
going to post the stories I did get and the people who sent them will each get
a necklace for participating. Yay for
them! So here they are: your moments of
“Duh.”
Entry Number #1
I went to see "The
Crying Game" with two gay male friends of mine and where they both had a
clue as to what the movie was about, the little straight girl was totally in
the dark. AT the moment in the film where the "woman" opens up
"her" robe and you realize the truth, my mouth falls open and I lean
over to whisper to my friend, "She has a tattoo!" Of course, he
whispers back, "Kim, she has a penis." I had never even
noticed.
I went to see
Philadelphia with another gay Read more:winner
Stormy Reflection 2007-02-27 02:46:51 Stormy Reflection Originally uploaded by Monkee16. Reflection of a sunset in the water. I think there's no better word to describe this than NEATO.
Master Negotiator 2007-02-26 03:25:14
I love Christmas
I love Christmas.
I really do. If I could pack up
little bundles of Christmas and store them to be rationed out through the year,
I would. If I could dive into a giant
tub of Christmas and roll around in it like a pig in slop, I would do that
too. Despite all of that, nothing could
have made me happier today than finally getting to take down all of the
Christmas decorations and return to life as normal. It turns out, having hundreds and hundreds of yards of dark green
foliage in a house that is generally all about bright, fun colors can start to
be a real downer after a while. When it
got to the point that looking at the Christmas tree made me want to start
painting my fingernails black and listening to The Cure, I knew it was time to
go. Of course, once I start something
like this, I’m never satisfied, so the minute the decorations started coming
down, I started planning the next project.
The trick was trying to get The Husband to go Read more:Master
Excellent. 2007-02-26 03:23:34 Excellent. Originally uploaded by Monkee16. Think Mr. Burns.
Any more "duh" and I'd need a helmet. 2007-02-25 04:29:40
Okay, so I’m ten years old, my brother is twelve, and he has a crush on
the girl that lives down the street
Okay, so I’m ten years
old, my brother is twelve, and he has a crush on the girl that lives down the
street. (What little boy doesn’t,
right?) So, we’re playing around outside
one day and one of us (I couldn’t possibly tell you who at this point, but this
smacks of my stupidity.) decides that he should take her a bouquet of
flowers. (For, surely, our humble
offering would win her heart.) Being
the resourceful children that we are, we decide the best way to accomplish this
goal is to collect wildflowers. We set
to work gathering every random colorful weed we can find and when we’ve got a
fistful, I wrap them all with a vine that is most likely poison ivy. (For that gift that keeps on giving.) Bouquet in hand, we hop on our bikes and
ride the short distance to her house.
On the way we decide that, in order to make this delivery more
profe
Zeke 2007-02-25 04:28:11 Zeke Originally uploaded by Monkee16. This is Zeke. He's a stray cat that took up residence in our yard when he was just a kitten. Now he's all grown up and a holy terror, but it's moments like these that keep us from evicting him. Ain't he cute?
In Soviet Russia, shit eat you! 2007-03-03 03:57:32
Honestly, I don’t know why I ever watch the today show
Honestly, I don’t know
why I ever watch the today show. Every
morning as I’m getting ready for work, I flip on the TV looking for something
to keep me entertained for that four seconds it takes to get dressed and brush
my hair and every morning like a junkie to crack I turn to the Today show. Why?
I’m never happy with what I see.
I never walk away from the TV thinking I was glad I watched that and
gee, wasn’t that informative? I always
find myself yelling at the TV and demanding my time back, angry that I’ve
wasted valuable brain power on listening to this pointless drivel when those
very same neurons? They could have been
watching Spongebob, the acid trip of the Television world.
Instead, as usual, I
tuned into the Today show this morning only to be faced with Meredith Viera
interviewing the mayor of Enterprise, Alabama.
There’s a winning combination for you.
Now Meredith lives in Ne Read more:Soviet
, Russia
Why you do? 2007-03-03 03:52:21 Why you do? Originally uploaded by Monkee16. Coworker's baby again. The damn things grow like a weed. I took this picture a couple of weeks ago and now he's driving.
I have a confession to make. I'm not really the Grandmaster of Funk. 2007-03-02 02:13:03
I’ve been browsing this here internet doodad a lot recently, looking for
new and interesting websites to read and I’ve begun t
I’ve been browsing this
here interweb contraption a lot recently, looking for new and interesting
websites to read and I’ve begun to notice a bit of a trend. It seems like there comes a point in every
blog when the blogger begins to open up, to talk about themselves, to tell
their filthy little secrets, to cast aside shame like a dirty gym sock with the
stinky cheese funk and really be themselves.
I think, without exception, this is always a good thing, so I’ve decided
to spill the beans about anything I can think of in the next ten minutes or so,
which is exactly how much time I have to putz around before I have to go home
and, cater to the demands of eight pissy and demanding felines for the rest of
the evening. Why don’t they
understand? I am the OWNER! I should command their respect. They should revere me and my oppos Read more:confession
, Grandmaster
Agitated 2007-03-02 02:11:07 Agitated Originally uploaded by Monkee16. Don't get your feathers in a fluff.
As I sit here typing this... 2007-03-03 23:42:34
As I sit here typing this I’m watching the evil orange cat try to walk
across the back of the couch
As I sit here typing this I’m watching the evil
orange cat try to walk across the back of the couch. The thing is, he’s on a leash at the moment and he’s reached the
end of it so he can’t really go anywhere, but he hasn’t realized this yet, so
he’s walking in place. He’s close
enough that, even from my seat at the desk, I could reach out and help
him. He’s looking at me all pathetic
like, wondering why he hasn’t made any forward progress in a while. I just don’t feel like helping. It’s too entertaining.
As I sit here typing this there’s another cat
sitting on the desk, next to my shoulder.
I can tell she’s there even though I’m not looking at her. I know she’s looking at me. She wants me to pet her. She’s willing me with her mind to turn and
look at her, but she hasn’t done anything to get my attention and fra
How old? 2007-03-03 23:32:20 How old? Originally uploaded by Monkee16. What the heck is she feeding this kid, bovine growth hormones? He's only just turned two for monkee's sake!
Blog Tours: Part One 2007-03-05 01:33:28
If I were to turn to the left, this
is what I’d see. My aunt got me that
snow globe when I was pre-law in college.
That was before I realized that lawyers are mean and I didn’t want to be
mean and changed majors. It’s a nice
view until, of course, you start looking closer.
Maybe a little bit closer.
Yep, that’s a cemetery. While it did creep me out a little (read: A
LOT) at first, I’ve definitely gotten used to it. It’s like the poor man’s golf course. The landscaping is well maintained and there’s a bunch of old
people scattered about.
Moving on to nicer things, this is
the view straight ahead of me. I guess
the main thing I’d like to point out is the catwalk shelving. With this many cats, you end up needing
really creative ways of expanding your space.
Not only does this give them more room to move, it also provides a
thoroughfare to keep them from trampling people on the couc Read more:Tours
Blog Tours: Part Two 2007-03-06 02:13:25
The “art” on the walls
is actually a super cheap trick. I bought
hook rugs for twenty bucks a piece and we stapled them straight to the
wall. As far as I’m concerned, there’s
nothing wrong with cheap and effective.
This is my happy
Buddha. He lives in the craft room and
hangs out with me when I’m working on projects. It is literally impossible to look at him without smiling. He’s just so damned happy! I wonder what he’s smoking.
This is the sitting
room type room thingy. It’s directly
across the foyer from the craft room type room thingy. There was just enough room in here for me to
feed my club chair addiction.
Meanwhile, if I haven’t mentioned it before, I’ll mention it again,
we’re cheap around here so the table came from my aunt and we refinished it and
the lamp was old and refinished as well.
This is a close look at
the contents of the tabletop. There’s
the refinis Read more:Tours
, Part Two
Blog Tours: Part Three 2007-03-07 02:32:24
Let’s start with the bed. Shall I say it again? Love.
Target. Yes, I do. That’s where all of the bedding came
from. Unfortunately, the cats don’t
like it as much as I do. Or maybe they
like it more. I can’t tell. Either way, since this picture was taken,
they’ve chewed the buttons off that pillow and have set to work on the metal
buttons on the duvet at the end of the bed.
Aren’t they precious? Meanwhile,
we made the upholstered headboard ourselves, because we are just so damned
handy and covered it in…are you ready…the drop cloth we used when we painted
the room. We recycle too! The shelf on
top is to keep the cats from hurling themselves off the top of the headboard
onto The Husband’s privates at night.
It doesn’t work.
Moving on.
This is a closer look at the sitting area on the other side of the
room. Have I mentioned that Target is
my favorite place in the whole, wide world.
The only things in this Read more:Tours
, Three
Blog Tours: Encore 2007-03-08 04:46:33
Looking to the side in the kitchen you can see we
have counter space, which is great because the last house we lived in had,
well, none. Against the wall you can
see the little glass jars that hold things like flour, salt, pepper, etc. About a month after I put these out one of
the cats peed on them. In all fairness,
they were aiming for a fruitcake that someone had stupidly left on the counter
after they had already told us how much they hate that.
This is a close up of my old timey storage
containers that sit next to the pantry.
Not only are they lovely, not only are they delightfully old timey, but
they will actually keep my assorted tubers, roots, and bulbs from growing into
full fledged foliage on my kitchen counter and demanding food like Little
Shop of Horrors. (Feeeeeeed me, Seymour!)
On the other side of the room is the refrigerator
and some small cabinets and counter spaces that are largely used by The Husband
for Read more:Tours
, Encore
American Idol or My Opinion on Everything 2007-03-09 04:46:22
I’m five minutes into the first episode this week when I realize why I
haven’t really blogged about American
Idol yet
I’m five minutes into
the first episode this week when I realize why I haven’t really blogged about
American Idol
yet. I can’t fast
forward. I am a hostage of Fox Corp and
no phrase has ever struck such fear and anguish into my heart. I am forced to pay attention to every bit of
insane Seacrest banter, every bit of shrieking banshee singing, hell, even the
ridiculously uncomfortable Q&A sessions up in the waiting area. As the show goes on, not fast forwarding
becomes a source of intense anxiety. I
never realized how much the contestants tend to warble like injured birds as
the songs go on. I am constantly
reaching for the remote only to stop myself with my finger poised over the
button. If American Idol had been on
during the Cold War, I am positive it would have been the number one tactic for
interrogating spies.
I Read more:Everything
Snacking 2007-03-09 04:42:38 Snacking Originally uploaded by Monkee16. This is one of the little furry banditos that hangs out at our house for snackerels. Isn' the cute?
Life lessons from the Monkee household 2007-03-12 02:57:37
Three things I learned today:
Three things I learned today:
1. One of my cats likes barbecue potato chips.
2. There is at least one person in this world
named Shwanhilda and that makes me very, very sad.
3. Some Grimm’s fairy tales are kind of
gruesome and some are just completely deranged. Synopsis of “The Willful Child”:
Child is bad. God doesn’t like bad child. God kills child. Community buries child.
Child’s hand refuses to be buried.
Child’s hand keeps popping up.
Mother finally shows up. Beats
child’s hand with rod. Hand goes
down. THE END.
Read more:Monkee
Hmmmm....Swampy 2007-03-12 02:55:20 Hmmmm....Swampy Originally uploaded by Monkee16. Flat and mucky: The Florida that tourists never see or at least, never survive to talk about.
I am SUCH a dork sometimes. 2007-03-11 03:36:25
Once every six months or so, I like to hog tie The Husband, steal his
wallet, toss him in a closet and have a little shopping
Once every six months
or so, I like to hog tie The Husband, steal his wallet, toss him in a closet
and have a little shopping spree on Amazon.
Despite the fact that the muffled screaming and pounding tend to sully what
would otherwise be a joyous experience, I try not to dwell on the negative and
rather enjoy the freedom of a credit card, an online megastore, and an
incapacitated Husband. The object of
these shopping sprees is always the acquisition of new reading materials and I
usually splurge on half a dozen or more at a time. This, coupled with the fact, that I prefer hardcover books to
paperback usually puts a serious hurt on the ol’ plastic. Not that I care, of course. That’ll be The Husband’s problem to deal
with, you know, if he can get past the moat full of sharks with lasers attached
to their heads.
Anywhooo
Graffiti 2007-03-11 03:35:16 Graffiti
Originally uploaded by Monkee16. Kinda looks like graffiti doesn't it?
When halfway decent writers go bad... 2007-03-13 00:24:16
Quick
Quick! Run to the TV! Turn it on! There is a
woman on TV right now who makes models of cities out of Jell-O! Oh, my God, Jell-O! She calls it art and she calls herself an
artist! A Jell-O city making
artist! Hurry before she gets
away! How can you go through life
without experiencing this jiggly art form for yourself? It would be like going through your entire
life without ever seeing the Mona Lisa.
Oh my God! I must make the Mona
Lisa in Jell-O. I am an artist! I have envisioned a wiggly masterpiece and
will now bring it to fruity fruition. I
am a genius! I am inspired! I must protect my slippery rubbery vision
from those who would steal it! Do not
steal my squirmy wormy plans or I will hunt you down like the no good 1950’s
manic-depressive housewife meatloaf crumble molded aspic concoction that I know
you are and microwave you into a puddle of gooey beefy mush! Now, off to my lab where I will concoct a
gelatinous masterpiece
Yep, it's that damn daisy again. 2007-03-13 00:22:54 Yep, it's that damn daisy again. Originally uploaded by Monkee16. Psst....hey...look over here....hey, has a big guy in overalls with pruning shears been by here? No? Oh, Okay. (Disappears back behind corner.)
Sometimes it feels good to crack open your bindings and get thumbed. 2007-03-14 03:08:56
Books
Books!
Glorious Books! They’re
here! It’s like Christmas morning
without the creepy feeling of being indebted to a fat old guy who hangs out
with midgets in pointy shoes or the discomfort of witnessing your parents
having a silent argument with their eyes about why said fat guy appears to have
purchased a few hundred dollars more presents than he had budgeted for. Why my dad cared so much about Santa’s
spending habits was beyond me, but however deviant the old man’s motives might
have been, he had damn fine taste in toys.
Damn fine. All that insanity
aside, I love books. When I was a kid,
going to the library was a weekly occurrence that my brother and I greeted with
the kind of fervor that children usually reserve for a chocolate smothered Elmo
pizza pool party. Granted, at least at
first, a lot of that probably had to do with the fact that my mother was a
genius manipulator and ended every library trip with a chocolate dipped ice
cream co Read more:Sometimes
, bindings
, feels good
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