Owner: Larry Leek, Cyber Geek URL:http://www.larryleek.blogspot.com Join Date: Thu, 01 Mar 2007 12:35:06 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Larry's blog is the only thing in the world that listens to him, his sister Miv thinks he is terminally weird and he has accidentally dyed his hair pink. How can Larry get from Planet Geek to Planet Cool without being beaten up by the class bully Lennox? Site statistics:Click here
Potted Begonia 2007-05-02 18:32:00 Dad has taken on another shift at the Merrivale Garden Centre to avoid Granny Leek. He is almost working full time.I went there after school today to remind him it is my birthday next week. He was busy potting begonias.He said he hadn't forgotten and asked if Mum had sent me.I said, 'No.' I think it was the right answer. But you can never tell with grown ups.Then he asked me what I wanted for my birthday.I replied, 'A handheld. PSP or Nintendo DS. Don't mind which.'Actually, that is not true. I would prefer a PSP. Or maybe a Nintendo. The Nintendo has a split level screen. But the PSP is bigger and has better games. Although on the minus side it is more expensive. On balance I think I will definitely go for the PSP. But I wouldn't turn down a Nintendo either. Its so difficult to choose.I have already dropped several hints to Mum but 'it pays to have an insurance policy' as she is always saying. If I get two handhelds I can always sell one on eBay using Mum's account.On secon
Nantwich Festival 2007-05-05 14:33:00 No Dad today. He has gone to a festival in Nantwich
to try out his Pirate Percy act. I hope Nantwich knows what it is letting itself in for. He said he will be back on Monday with a surprise birthday present. I hope it is a PSP. Read more:Festival
My Birthday 2007-05-08 21:34:00 A brill-i-ant day. I am now exactly eleven years old.I opened my presents at breakfast before school.Mum got me a black Nintendo DS Lite with Dr Kawashima's Brain Training: How Old is Your Brain?. Yippee with knobs on!!!Granny Leek sent me a £10 book token and a big bar of Dairy Milk. Hooray!Miv got me a hat with ear flaps made from alpaca wool. Ummm! Not sure I'll wear it. Its very itchy.Uncle Jim sent me a card with a whole ten pounds inside.I got 8 cards altogether, including one from Fat Bob.Compul-snoring Gardening Club at lunchtime today but at least it meant I escaped being given the bumps by 6H.The house is dead dead peaceful.Miv is in the garden practising on my unicycle. I can hear the swearing from my bedroom and I bet so can the whole of Plover Close.Mum won't let me keep the unicycle in my room. She says the wheel will dirty the carpet. It has to stay in the shed when Miv's not using it.Mum is on the phone to one of her boring insurance friends.I am sitting on my cabi Read more:Birthday
Unicycle 2007-05-07 19:59:00 No school today.Dad brought round my birthday present today. (He is at work tomorrow when it is my real birthday.) It is a unicycle. He got it at the Nantwich Festival. It is bright yellow and black.Mum isn't very keen. I could tell when I unwrapped it. She went all tight-lipped like she does when Mr Purefoy complains about Fat Bob digging up his crocus bulbs.Dad showed me how to ride it. He said it was really easy. Then he got on the unicycle and rode across the lawn straight into the hedge.I had a go but I fell off. I don't think I will be riding it to school yet.Miv thinks it is a really cool present. She couldn't wait to have a go. But she was rubbish. She fell off straight away. Ha! Ha! Ha!Later on, when Dad had gone, I caught Mum trying it out in the back garden when she thought no one was watching. She managed to stay on until the shed. That is the longest anyone in our family has ridden a unicycle.
The Return of the Boot Again 2007-05-10 20:17:00 It is quite a shock to come home from school and find your teacher sitting at your kitchen table drinking coffee. Especially when you last saw them they were behind their desk marking a pile of science homework. I know he is our neighbour now and everything but I didn't actually expect to see him in our house. Mr Purefoy has never sat at our kitchen table drinking coffee. I hope this is a one off kind of thing.I had been to Merrivale Garden Centre after school again to see Dad. I felt a bit sorry for him having to live at Granny Leek's. It can't be much fun. But I must have taken longer than I thought because when I got back Mum was already home.Mr Hopgood said, 'Hello Larry.' He was smiling.I said, 'Er.'I tried to think of something I might have done wrong at school. I know I'm not brilliant at maths but not bad enough for a home visit. I handed my geography assignment and history homework in on time like I do most weeks.Then Mum said, 'Say 'hello' Larry. It's not a trick Read more:Return
, Again
Right of Passage 2007-05-09 21:01:00 I had my first proper grown up argument with Mum tonight.I said, 'Now I am eleven I think I should be allowed to have my own front door key.'She said, 'Not until you start Wolsey High.'I said, 'That is so unfair.'She said, 'Life's unfair.' (Typical Mum answer.)I said, 'I bet you had your own key when you were eleven.'She said, 'When I was your age, Larry, not only did I not have a door key but I had to come straight home from school to do my homework. Then I wasn't allowed out again until school the next morning unless I had a good reason. And when I was allowed to go round a friend's house for tea it was a treat and I had to be back by 8 o'clock at the latest and in bed by half past eight.'Boring with knobs on! All I want is my own key! Anyone would think I was asking to go to an all night party. Not that I know anyone who goes to all night parties. Lennox Hardy says he does and he says he is allowed to get drunk on Stella Artois, but he is just lying.The trouble with Read more:Right
Hair of the Bob 2007-05-13 12:55:00 The usual banging and crashing when Mum came home at eleven thirty last night. I can't say I expected anything different.Mum slept in late this morning and when she woke up she complained of a bad headache. She looked terrible, at least a 150 years old.I made her a surprise breakfast in bed of tea and toast to help her headache. I even remembered to take the tea bag out of the mug this time.Fat Bob nearly ruined the surprise though. I had left the toast on the kitchen table while I stood on a chair to get the tray down from the top of the kitchen cupboards. When I got off the chair and turned round Fat Bob was on the table licking the butter off the toast. It was all right though. I picked off the cat hairs and patched the bare bits up with more butter and spread on some marmalade. I don't think Mum noticed. If she did find any cat hairs she didn't say so.Science SATS tomorrow. I think I will be OK. Its not my best subject but its not my worst either. That's maths.I've just had a
Coventry 2007-05-12 23:01:00 8.00pm Me and Mum had a massive argument at tea time and all because of Mr Hopgood. We were eating lasagne and salad. Not my favourite meal. I don't like salad and I find lasagne slimy.The argument went like this:Mum started it by saying, 'I didn't want to tell you I was going on a date tonight until the last minute because of the fuss you made about Dylan and I didn't want a rerun of the whole affair.'I replied, 'Neither do I.' But I don't think she got my meaning. It was a bit metaphorical.'Why does it have to be Mr Hopgood?' I said.'Because he asked me,' Mum said.'So if Mr Purefoy asked you on a date you'd go?''Now you're being silly.''But would you?''Of course not!''Why not?''For God's Sake, Larry. You're being ridiculous.'I was not. I was being curious.'You didn't have to say yes. You could have made up an excuse not to go.''I didn't want to.''What? Not go?'Mum sighed. 'No. I do want to go. I didn't want to make up an excuse.''All I'm tr
Comparisons 2007-05-11 17:57:00 I cannot help comparing Dad to Mr Hopgood.If Dad was more like Mr Hopgood then instead of living in an old people's sheltered housing bungalow and riding a bike, he could be living in a three bedroomed chalet bungalow and driving a BMW. This is what comes of choosing a career in puppets I suppose. He has only got himself to blame.Not only that, if the sheltered housing people find out that Granny Leek has a lodger they will throw Dad out and her out too and then they will both be homeless. Then Granny Leek might have to stay with us.I do wish Dad would try harder to be rich.Good news. My brain is now 45 years old.
SATS Fatigue 2007-05-16 18:58:00 I am too stressed to post. English reading test today. I did all right, I suppose. Maths tomorrow. Brilliant.PS. The brilliant bit is meant to read ironically for those of you who didn't realise. Which you probably did. So if you did then ignore this PS. If you didn't, then I meant to mean the opposite of what I said, which was 'brilliant'. I don't mean that what I wrote was brilliant. It wasn't. Although, I did use that word. I meant. Actually, I can't remember. I think I'd better go to bed early tonight. Read more:Fatigue
Steve! 2007-05-20 13:48:00 Mr Hopgood came round today to straighten my unicycle wheel. It got a bit mangled when I fell off it.Mum made a pot of coffee and brought it out into the garden on a tray with chocolate hobnobs for 'Steve
'.I will not be calling Mr Hopgood 'Steve' however many unicycle wheels he mends.
Special Circumstances 2007-05-19 20:43:00 Mum spent two hours on the phone this morning to the hospital admin department. They have agreed to reduce her fine to £30 due to special circumstances. What these special circumstance are I don't know. I would have thought unicycling accidents were quite common. I fall off every time I get on mine.Dad said I was a 'silly [unbloggable]' and bought me an ice cream when I showed him my bandaged thumb. It was a refreshing change after all the grief I am getting at home about the fine and my thumb and everything.Even Fat Bob is turning against me. He spends nearly all his spare time in Mr Purefoy's garden now the evenings are lighter. I think he felt I neglected him when SATS were on and now I am paying the price of my indifference.I didn't tell Dad about Mr Hopgood and Mum. I'm hoping it will soon be over and then Dad need never know. Although, I did feel guilty and mentioned this to Miv when we got home.She said, 'Oh, I told him all about Mum and Steve last week. He's not bother Read more:Special
Park N' Ride 2007-05-19 10:33:00 I did something a bit silly yesterday after school. I think it was the relief of SATS being over. I tried to ride my unicycle down the steps from our patio to the lawn. Don't ask me why. The most I have ever managed is three revolutions of the wheel on the flat. Mum is much better than me. She has more balance.Anyway, I fell off and landed on my right thumb. It really really hurt. It went a bluey-purple colour and swelled up like a misshapen carrot or some other vegetable. I asked Miv if it was broken. She said she didn't know and told me I was 'a stupid [unbloggable].' Then she texted Mum to come home and take me to the hospital.Mum was in a bad mood all the way there. She didn't speak until we got to the hospital car park. Then it was only to ask me if I had any change for the meter. She only had enough for two hours. I didn't. I had spent all my money on a banana smoothie and a coconut macaroon in the tuck shop at break. Mum said, 'We'll chance it.' Fateful words.I had to t
Satsuma 2007-05-21 12:06:00 Lennox Hardy thinks my thumb is hilarious. Mr Hopgood is all pretend concern. Mrs Harboard the dinner/lollipop lady called me a 'poor love'. I know which reaction I prefer of the three.I must admit my thumb looks a bit daft all bandaged up in bright orange. It looks like I've stuck my thumb in a satsuma.It makes writing difficult too. I have to hold the pen between my index and middle fingers which makes my writing hard to understand. Maybe I will be excused Compulsory Gardening Club tomorrow when Frankenstein sees how useless my thumb is.I have decided to give the unicycle a miss this evening. Mum and Miv will be out at karate should anything happen to me. I will do something less dangerous instead like reread my back copies of Computerz for Kidz magazine. Although, I find the early issues 1-39 a bit babyish now.More anon.PS. Mum has just come into my room to insist I go to karate with her and Miv. Apparently I can't be trusted on my own.
A Cyber Mole 2007-05-25 11:04:00 There is a cyber mole loose in the Cyber
Freaks Club. Someone left a rude message on the members forum for Jangofett telling me where I should stick my thumb. I won't repeat the message. I deleted it before anyone else could read it.We now have eleven members. I don't think the mole is one of them. They are all geeks like me, except for Alice Noble from 6W. She is a brainiac who will easily get into all the top sets when we go to Wolsey High in September.I can't imagine Mr Hopgood left the rude message either.I wish I knew who did though. I would give 50p to find out.On the plus side the half-term holiday has begun. Hooray with knobs on!No more Lennox Hardy making jokes about my thumb for a week!No more maths!No more Compulsory Gardening Club!Less Mr Hopgood!I've just had a thought. What if it was Lennox Hardy who left the message? But that is impossible. He would have had to set up a member's account. I know for a fact he hasn't. Mr Hopgood made me the club secretary last week.
Bingo 2007-05-23 14:09:00 I went to see Dad at the Merrivale Garden Centre after school today. He wasn't there. I forgot he only works a half day on Wednesdays.I took a bus to Granny Leek's. He wasn't there either.Eventually, I found him in the sheltered housing community centre. He was playing bingo with Granny Leek and all the other oldies. It was a bit weird at first but I got the hang of it after a while. I even won a tin of baked beans. I gave them to Dad. His favourite meal is beans on toast. Read more:Bingo
Miv's Secret 2007-05-29 12:23:00 Miv disappeared for two whole hours this afternoon. This was after Mum gave her strict instructions this morning before she left for work not to let me, or my thumb, out of her sight.I didn't mind really. Except it is difficult to open a bag of crisps when one of your thumbs is the size, shape and colour of a satsuma. Anyway, I managed to do it in the end. But it would have been easier if Miv had been around to open the bag. It's typical of the females in this house to disappear when I need help.I asked her where she had been when she got back but she told me to mind my own business. I bet she has been down the skateboard park again. I am tempted to tell Mum about Miv abandoning me, but then again Miv is a green belt in karate.
Ringmead Reservoir 2007-05-28 12:16:00 The most boring Bank Holiday of my life ever!Mr Hopgood dragged Mum and me all the way to Ringmead Reservoir
this afternoon just so we could look at some boring old ducks. We sat in a draughty hut for hours while Mr Hopgood (I refuse to call him Steve like Mum does) and Mum took turns looking through Mr Hopgood's binoculars. It rained all the time while Mr Hopgood droned on and on about fat-legged waddlers and ring-necked twits or whatever. Mum pretended to be interested but I know she is not.Personally, I don't see the point of ducks unless you can throw bread at them. Luckily, I had taken my Nintendo with me. I managed to get my brain down to 42 years old.Miv got out of duck watching by saying she had already agreed to go round her friend India's. I knew this was a lie. This morning I heard Miv on her mobile arranging to meet India down the skateboard park. I will save that up as a future bribe. It's worth a 150 million hot chocolates at least.NNEEAGH! HA! HA! (evil laugh)
Sibling Rivalry 2007-05-26 12:18:00 Dad is making a new puppet. He won't tell me and Miv anything more than that. He said the only person he had told so far was Pirate Percy. Apparently, it is 'all very hush hush'.We went down the park to play football again. Percy was wearing a new pair of trainers. I accidentally dripped some of my ice cream on them. Read more:Sibling
, Rivalry
Miv's Secret III 2007-05-31 11:16:00 Miv disappeared again this afternoon. I gave her a conspiratorial smile when she got back, just to let her know that I knew where she had been.Miv said, 'Have you got toothache?'Mum is not speaking to Fat Bob. She blames him for the state of my clothes yesterday. I told her Fat Bob had dragged them from my laundry basket into the garden and tried to bury them. It says a lot about Fat Bob's past behaviour that Mum was prepared to believe me.Poor Fat Bob is only allowed in the kitchen. He is banned from the rest of the house. I bought him a packet of kitty bits and smuggled them into the kitchen while Mum was in the bath. Technically it is my fault he is in the dog house.
Miv's Secret II 2007-05-30 14:18:00 I told Miv this afternoon that if she went to the skateboard park again I would definitely tell Mum this time.Miv said, 'Tell her then,' and left anyway. So much for my blackmailing skills.I decided to go and see Dad at Granny Leeks' as it is his half day holiday. Dad and Pirate Percy were calling out the numbers at bingo in the sheltered housing community centre. I didn't stay for long.On the way back I went by way of the Rec. Miv was hanging around with India at the skateboard park. She was with a couple of boys!The skateboard park is in a corner of the Rec. surrounded on two sides by trees and bushes. Miv, India and the boys were all watching some boy doing tricks on a BMX. In a moment of madness, when Miv was busy texting on her mobile, I hid in the bushes to spy on her.I will never ever ever spy on anyone again as long as I live. It was cold and damp and smelled of dog pee in the bushes. All Miv did was talk and laugh and text on her mobile. It was sooo boring. After about fiv
Free Running 2007-06-04 13:45:00 Back to school today.There is a new craze among the Year 6 boys: free running.Lennox Hardy reckons he is really good at it. He tried to run up the wall outside the staff room and fell over onto a Year 1. Mrs Harboard sent Lennox to the Head. What a prat! (I mean Lennox Hardy not the Head.)I ran along the bench outside the music mobile and leapfrogged over the bin at the end. It was a really good bit of free running but Mrs Harboard didn't think so. I've got detention Wednesday lunchtime with Lennox Hardy in the greenhouse with Frankenstein. That is so unfair.The Head. gave a long boooring lecture about the dangers of 'larking about' in assembly this afternoon. He is about as ancient as Frankenstein. They both probably went to the same Victorian work house and can't ever remember 'larking about' themselves.I let Fat Bob into my bedroom this evening when Mum and Miv were out at karate. He looked a bit sad but cheered up when I told him his exile would soon be over.More anon.
Duck Watching 2007-06-03 07:42:00 Mum has gone duck watching alone with Mr Hopgood. Read more:Watching
Dad's Secret 2007-06-02 11:07:00 Dad still won't tell us anything about his new puppet.I pushed Percy really high in the baby swing at the Rec. today. He fell out.
Hard Labour 2007-06-06 14:59:00 Detention in the greenhouse with Lennox Hardy this lunchtime. We had to help Frankenstein wash some dirty pots. Lennox thought it was hilarious to flick soap suds at me when Frankenstein's back was turned. He is soo unimaginative.It was just my luck that Frankenstein turned round when I was about to flick some back. He made me wash twice as many dirty pots as Lennox. My hands went all wrinkly.I went to see Dad after school but he was playing bingo with Granny Leek. Pirate Percy was calling out the numbers again. I didn't stop. Can life get anymore depressing?Fat Bob is no help. Mum let him back into the house tonight for the first time in a week since he allegedly buried my clothes last Wednesday. He is sat in front of the tv watching Springwatch.I am going to bed early.More anon.P.S. Mum just barged into my room to announce without any prior warning that Mr Hopgood is having a barbecue on Sunday. This is the worst news of my life! Read more:Labour
Four Drumsticks, Three Sausages and a Kebab 2007-06-10 15:06:00 Mr Hopgood has a Play Station 3. I know because he let me have a go on it this afternoon at his barbecue. He also has a 50" wide screen plasma TV. We have only got an old flat screen thing and Dad has hardly got a telly at all. He watches Crimewatch on a portable on top of a chest of drawers in his room at Granny Leeks'.The food was all right I suppose. Mr Hopgood had one of those barbecues you don't need coal for. It was lit by gas. Mr Hopgood did all the cooking. He wore this embarrassing apron which made him look like he had a hairy chest and medallion. Mum seemed to think it was really funny but then she thinks anything is funny after a couple of Bacardi Breezers.I ate two burgers, three sausages, four chicken drumsticks and a kebab.Miv refused to eat anything. Instead she sulked all afternoon because she wanted to go down the Rec. but Mum wouldn't let her. Miv can be a real pain sometimes.Fat Bob ate four and a half sausages then spent the rest of the afternoon digging up Mr Pu Read more:Three
, Sausages
Karaoke 2007-06-08 14:44:00 Mr Hopgood was all chirpy at the Cyber Freak's Club today. He asked me if I liked my sausages black or very black. Ha! Ha! Ha! Very funny! I wonder if I can report him for a breach of the hippocrytical oath?Thankfully there wasn't any rude messages for Jangofett on the Member's Forum. There wasn't any other messages either. We have two new members which now brings our total to thirteen.Tonight is Karaoke night at the Frog and Ferret. Mum and Mr Hopgood have gone there leaving me in the care of Miv. They offered to take us but Miv said she would rather die and be buried in Granny Leek's electrostatic old person's dressing gown than listen to Mum sing Blondie's Heart of Glass out of tune in front of a bunch of sad old throwbacks to the 1980s.Ditto.Miv is being hormonal in her bedroom. She is singing along to the track Brain Dead Brethren by the Wasted Warriors at the top of her voice. I must say she doesn't sound very in tune either.Me and Fat Bob have shut ourselves in the livin
A Visit to Wolsey High 2007-06-13 13:12:00 Year 6 went to visit Wolsey High School today in preparation for September. Wolsey High is HUGE compared to St. Clements Primary. It has its own sports hall separate from the dining hall and a separate assembly hall. At St. Clements we only have the one hall to do everything.Some Year 11 girls took us in small groups on a tour of the school. I was in a group with Ryan Thompson, Alice Noble and Lennox Hardy. It was very interesting but the computers in the ICT room were a bit disappointing. They were the same ones we have at St. Clements. In the Chemistry Lab. Lennox turned a Bunsen burner tap on. There was a horrible stinky cabbage smell before the Year 11 girl turned it off.The sports field was quite big but not as big as the Rec. It has four tennis courts and a rugby pitch. I saw Miv out on the field throwing a javelin. I waved but I don't think she saw me.All in all an interesting day.
Springwatch Fever 2007-06-12 15:33:00 I'm worried about Fat Bob. He seems to spend a lot of time watching Springwatch on the TV. Yesterday he hardly budged when Miv and Mum got back from karate. Tonight, as soon as the Springwatch music came on, Fat Bob sat down in front of the screen. Every now and then he pats a paw at a wren or an eagle. The blackbirds seem to be his favourite.I asked Mum if she thought Bill Oddie might be a bad influence on Fat Bob.She laughed and said, 'Very funny. You mean Fat Bob might suddenly want to grow a beard, buy a pair of binoculars and sit in a field for hours?''I mean what if Springwatch gives him ideas about chasing birds,' I said.'Don't worry,' Mum said. 'The nearest Fat Bob has ever got to a bird is leftover roast chicken.'I think on reflection she is probably right. Fat Bob is not the most energetic cat in the universe. The most exercise he gets is digging holes in Mr Purefoy's garden. Perhaps he needs a hobby? Although I suppose digging holes is a hobby of sorts.More anon. Read more:Fever
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