Owner: Bewildertrix URL:http://bewildertrix.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Sun, 27 Apr 2008 07:00:35 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Brooding and general fannying about. Site statistics:Click here
Blog Bitching 2008-04-27 05:38:05 Blog gratefulness journals are completely wanky and blinkies are obnoxious. I just escaped from a blog where every third post seemed to be a "What I am grateful for" list. The seizure inducing blinkage was just wicked. Most were mundane as heck e.g "My kids use carseats!", "I am a mother" and "I like attention!". Wow! Hold the front page! Nothing more than a vacuous dump in cyberspace. May I never run across it again.What wasn't present on this particular blog, thank goodness was the TMI blinkies such as " I pee when I sneeze", " I'm not wearing underwear" and " My EWCM is sperm friendly". Oh, the glittery skank dolls are fairly sickening too.As for this blog, it sucks dog bollocks. No pretensions here. Nintendo DS Lite Games *shudder* That's quite enough of that.
Things that make me go arrrrggh! 2008-04-27 03:33:45 The neighbours two doors down - Too many cars, visitors and are loud (the type that air their dirty laundry at 3.00 am on the front lawn sort of loud). I don't want to be able to hear the gory details of your "I love you, I hate you" conversation at that anti social hour. In fact, I don't want to hear it, period. I'm not positive, but I've heard via another neighbour that one family member is on home detention. Isn't that peachy? There's more but I'll save it for the police.Change Of Season Colds - Just getting over one. My nose has been assaulted big time.LOST - It's shit. I lost track after episode three. Episode one had been so promising. Since then I've caught snippets accidentally and seen the ads and I'm wondering what the writers are taking and if I could have some.
Speaking of shite names... 2008-04-10 07:11:23 Kelly on a girl is bad. Forget my monstrous bias, it's still bad. However, I am reminded of one sick twist on Baby Names World (which has now been assimilated by that empire, Nickelodeon) who thought Duncan and Donaghue would make cute picks for a girl. This 'Celery', a regular and well respected member, got her pants in a brief but flustered wedgie when I mentioned that the idea sucked, badly. Duncan and Donaghue? Why not Cockburn and MacDuff while your at it? Is that enough spunk for you? There's little point in arguing with someone who believes sound is the ONLY criterion for choosing a name. That and the cliché side dish: "Itz yr baybee and u can name it wat u want!". I haven't the stamina to contest that. Read more:Speaking
A Nevaeh and a 2p 2008-04-02 06:25:04 I've finally sighted a local Nevaeh aka 'heaven displaced'. Not in the flesh yet and perhaps that's a good thing.To add to the distaste, another British girl was lumped with the chillingly nauseating Tuppence. This adds to a decent smattering of them in the last fifteen years, my favourite find being a Vienna Tuppence. Eek. It's got nothing going for it. Nothing. It's another word for two pence, so it's cheap! There is also the unfortunate business of it being childish slang for a vulva. Nan Nan still uses the word this way. My Uncle also used to refer to his daughters as Tuppence when they were younger. It was perfectly innocent. He saw it purely as a term of endearment which it is used as also. He had no idea of its other less charming meaning. At least I hope he didn't.
Fun With Statcounter 2008-03-31 20:10:55 I'm surprised by how many people use Internet Explorer over Firefox. IE was a fat, lumbering dinosaur when I last used it.Also, the return hits from some visitors are bewildering. More so on my childrens' blog. 23 return visits within half an hour? Either the person is an obsessed nutso or their browser is throwing a serious wobbly. It's probably Internet Explorer! Read more:Statcounter
Grievous Bodily Cringing 2008-03-27 15:32:41 Plenty irks me. At present, it's the sea of unflattering leggings under frumpy and garishly belted tunics and t-shirts whenever I hit the shops. If I turn my irritation to TV, amongst the wall to wall crap (this includes the meandering plotless wonder that is Lost), the following ad makes me want to smash the screen.This child needs to consider setting some serious boundaries. He's old enough to write a sign and push it under the door whilst taking a dump, so I'm sure he could survive a session on the toilet without pleading for mum to come in and play with the Glade air freshener. That's cringe worthy enough, the cheesy smiles and laughs exchanged at the end as mother son relish in the scent of Crap de Glade is about as bad as it gets. Yeah, it stinks, as does the awful dubbing.No
Ugsome Words 2008-03-24 00:43:28 I think I'd rather munch on my earwax than hear these words spoken. Written down, they're almost as bad and why is it Kathleen Turner wants to voice these particular nasties in my head? Deep, rich and breathy Kathleen Turner makes the bad sound badder.Facility/Facilities - Why does this sound positively seedy to me?Gyno - For gynecologist. It's wince material. If I'm not thinking ultra heavy duty cleaner, I'm imagining some vicious vaginal disease that might benefit from said cleaner, it's that bad. Just say the full word.Hubby - In place of husband. I find husband to be comical but hubby sounds like a hairy growth.Irregardless - Make your up your mind. Irrespective or regardless?Mum - Rhymes with bum and is awfully frumpy. I prefer Mummy and Mama.Panties - Pants are okay. Panties man Read more:Words
Soleil Moon Frye 2.0 2008-03-21 05:11:35 I've been stewing over Punky's choice for her second daughter for two days now. Some celeb names are shockers, some a bit funky, but this one made me bite my cheek. What in the world did Soleil
's daughter do to deserve Jagger Joseph Blue? It's enough to give any sane person serious rectal pucker. Jagger is rough and comical sounding and brings to mind the German word Jäger which means 'fighter/hunter'. It's a moniker deserving only of dogs, cats and Mick's last name. Joseph is in homage to a recently passed significant person in Soleil's life. While a lovely sentiment to honour someone so important, there's no excuse for not using the lovely feminine equivalent, Josephine. At least give the poor child an option for later! When faced with Jagger and Joseph, I can overlook
Sites of note 2008-03-20 19:59:58 Go Fug Yourself - Mocking celeb style and fashion. Celebs in bad outfits are busted and smacked down. Frequent offenders such as Paris Hilton, Sienna Miller and Jessica Simpson have their own sections.The Urban Dictionary - Yes, it's enlightening. Some words I regret looking up.The Impulsive Buy - "putting the ew in product review". Rip roaringly funny.Dooce - She's hilarious.All Men Are Liars Except Sam de Britte - Was hooked in within a minute of browsing.Engrish - From the site: "Engrish can be simply defined as the humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese advertising and product design.....Engrish can be found all over the world, but the vast majority of the really funny and creative Engrish is from Japan."Baby's Named A Bad Bad Thing - Bitching about crappy names, lauding up Read more:Sites
Keira Knightley 2008-03-19 20:29:40 I cannot abide by this 'actress'. If I had a choice between watching her and a cod taking its last few breaths on land, the fish would be looking pretty good. She's a painfully skinny thing and her acting, well, the show Ren & Stimpy says it best:"It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood. It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good! "Stick a pair of pouting, overly collagenous lips on a plank of wood and you have Ms Knightley
. It's not poise, it's not sophistication, it's wood.All my disdain aside, I did find her mildly endearing in the most recent Pride & Prejudice rendition. However, that could be the luscious Matthew Mcfadyen diverting my attention and making Keira
appear somewhat tolerable. The quiet beauty of Rosamund Pike was also soothing over the strained, Read more:Keira Knightley
Reminiscing 2008-03-16 02:34:05 I haven't a clue why BBC's The Young Ones was so appealing to a five year old. Why on earth I was even allowed to watch it escapes me. I caught repeats and my affection for the tales of Neil Pye, Vyvyan Basterd, Mike 'The Cool Person' and Rick continues until this day, as well as my adoration for Rik Mayall.
Kelly With An I 2008-03-14 05:47:03 I was lumped with Kellie. Until recently I thought it was just a pimped up, girlified version of the common as mud Irish surname, Kelly. It happens to be just another anglicised form along with Kelley, Celly, Cellie etc.. all going back 200+ years. Much longer than I'd realised and of course used exclusively on men until the 1950's. Apparently, my primary school teaching father named me after one of his favourite students. This student's sibling was Matthew and my brother was bestowed with that later. Why is it the boys always seem to fare better? Consider that my sister got Kimberley. Another a-typical trendy name of the same era. Could we be more cliché?Kellie firmly dates me to the 70's and early 80's. It's one of those 'shag carpet' names and having such a sudden blast of
Another Useless Meme 2008-04-28 07:27:56 1. Were you named after anyone? Yes, one of my father's favourite students.2. Do you wish on stars? Yes, still.3. When did you last cry? Four nights ago. It was a happy cry and a general release of tension.4. Do you like your handwriting? Yes. I was ridiculed in primary school by one teacher for not writing in the correct fashion nor using a pencil guard. He said I'd never be able to write legibly that way. My following teachers thought I had exquisite handwriting albeit far too small for those with poorer eyesight.5. What is your favorite lunch meat? Meh.6. What is your most embarrassing CD? Metallica's S & M.7. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? This question is shite.8. Do you have a journal? Only the blog waffling. I've tried keeping a journal ma
Seymour aka "Spanky" Gets A Mention 2008-04-29 21:00:46 "Attention. This is an emergency broadcast, all is well in the school, my authority as principal is total."Aside from charmingly wacky Dr Julius Hibbert, Seymour
is my favourite Simpson's character. He's adorable. Yes, I said it. I hope he smothers his harpy of a mother one day and finds someone more deserving of him than skanky Edna Krabappel."Two independent thought alarms in one day. The students are over stimulated. Willie, remove the colored chalk from the classrooms....""There's been some confusion about our bird sighting rules. You cannot count birds that you've seen at the zoo, on stamps, or in dreams.""Hello, Simpson. I'm riding the bus today because Mother hid my car keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do it."Remain calm, there's a dog in the
Yet Another Annoying Meme 2008-05-01 17:20:42 Before I begin, after being inspired by another, I question those who throw around the word "Vag", like it's preferable to its full form. It isn't. It never will be.It sounds like a very tainted, very sick, half a vagina. Either that, or a very tainted, very sick, cavernous wreck.On with the fluff:1. My rock star name (first pet and current car)Dreadnought Rover 2. My gangsta name (ice cream flavour and cookie or biscuit)Coffee Tim Tam 3. My fly girl name (first letter of first name, first three letters of last name)-Piss off- 4. My detective name (favourite colour, favourite animal)Scarlet Giraffe 5. My soap opera name (middle name, city of birth)June Wellington 6. My Star Wars name (first three letters of your last name, first two of your first name)-Piss Off- 7. My superhero name (sec Read more:Annoying
On A Serious Note 2008-05-05 21:57:41 And because I'm fucking sick to death of this sexual princessy 'idolisation' of pre-pubescent girls, an interview pulled from MercatorNet with Melinda Tankard Reist.-Focus on media: A toxic culture for girls- The shameless explotation of little girls by commercial interests is poisoning a generation. Living in a sex-saturated society we are used to seeing the image of women cheapened. But baby dolls who know how to "flaunt" their sexuality? Provocative underwear for little girls, and "pole dancing" kits for them to entertain their families and friends with suggestive moves - and be paid in play dollars for it? If we care about children the time has come to put a stop to this ugly trend, says Melinda Tankard Reist, founding director of Women's Forum Australia and edi
A Change 2008-05-07 20:57:43 I'd be meaning to change my template for a while now but could not be arsed as a consequence is screwing with widgets and other page elements. Also, I never found a template I liked as much as this one which I've dubbed Vintage Busty Chick. Yet another lovely creation from Suckmylolly.comBusty Chick is hawt!Now, if I just had the patience to install a new template on my kids' blog. The "Dandelion" theme isn't working for me. The kids are not dainty wee flowers. Read more:Change
Name Hate 2008-05-08 21:50:57 So, going over lists and lists of names to see what else takes my fancy for bublet three, I've come to the conclusion that there are now plenty of choices (the correctly spelt, generally traditional, gender appropriate types) that irk me more than ever before. Previously, I could take or leave a Jasper, Edgar or Elise and now I'd rather not see them at all. The following list of names annoy the shit out of me and yet I will admit most are perfectly decent names. Preferable to something pulled out of the depths of one's cre8tif arse e.g McManlycannon or Desharlitt.Emma - Yes, the overwhelming popularity insanity has something to do with it but, I find it juvenile sounding. Names ending in the "ee" sound e.g Sylvie, Julie and Bonnie (all full forms in their own right) do not sound cu
From "Things that make me go Arrrrrgh!" 2008-05-09 19:43:40 UPDATE: Dodgy neighbours busted by coppers.Why? Well, it involves 'erbs. My timing could not have been better. I was walking back from the park with the children when police cars pulled up with screeching brakes and plain clothed, flackjacketed officers launched themselves out of their seats and on to the property quicker than you can say "Hot Fuzz". It was brilliant stuff.
Ugly Tots 2008-05-12 02:48:01 It's true. Not all babies are bundles of sparkling cuteness. I will happily admit that Conor at birth looked like a bloodied and hairless alien monkey spawn with long claws, rashy face and semi cone head. Isla was worse. She was purple and not breathing. After a session on the neo-puff she was pinkalicious but then went all Gene Simmons with this ridiculously long reptilian tongue she proceed
Back Off, Delilah. 2008-05-13 22:25:43 I haven't visited a hairdresser in years.I could not tell you exactly when the last time was but it was at the insistence of my mother and probably during a hiatus from University. I harbor irrational fears about the hairdressers lair. Yes, there was a bad experience at the age of 10 or so where my shoulder length locks (trimmed previously from mid back length) were hacked off mercilessly. I was a
Pop Goes The Kneebone 2008-05-15 22:25:53 The bastard popped out. The first time in perhaps 2 1/2-3 years. I sidestepped a box (one the son had been playing cars in) and walloped my weak left knee on the edge of the couch. I knew it was coming and as soon as it popped itself back in again (thankfully it does that) I broke in to big wussy tears complete with trembling. I can only assume I was extremely shocked.The kneecap moves a minimal Read more:Pop Goes
Plastic Children 2008-05-18 23:11:43 Do you want a side order of remodeled cheekbones and lip placement, fake tan, ear tucks, makeup, glinting eyes, long lashes, unblemished skin, hair extensions and a dimple added with that child's portrait?Why yes, I love children who look like they've been carved from acrylic.Who (aside from satisfying a paedophile's idea of a fantasy child) would find these gratuitously enhanced photographs supe Read more:Children
, Plastic
Two Lols & A Poo 2008-05-18 07:32:16 I'm a sucker for lol macros. Most elicit smiles but only a few really make me giggle:Completely random. I thought it was cute. Shut up.
May I Throw A Tanty Now? 2008-05-20 01:57:11 Yeah, it's about time I had one. Show my son how it's really done.1. Cellphones. Most I'd like to throw at the nearest wall, particularly those owners who have the ring tone volume up obnoxiously loud. There's also nothing trashier than bellowing out a private (REPEAT, PRIVATE) conversation for all the other passengers on a bus. We can't escape it lest we shove our fingers in our ears. I Read more:Throw
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