Owner: Roy and Hazel URL:http://royandhazel.blogspot.com Join Date: Sat, 26 Apr 2008 06:04:50 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: A middle-aged couple on an amusing weightloss trip. Site statistics:Click here
Day 54 - My new stripy shirt 2008-04-25 13:46:00 I am standing in the middle bedroom with the iron heating up. I pick up the plastic package and sniff it. Why I sniff it I don't know. Its my new stripy shirt. I bought it to go with my fairly new suit. My fairly new suit is stripy brown. The new shirt is blue with brown stripes. Looks better than you think. I pull the shirt from its packaging. I am constantly amazed at how much packaging there is with a shirt: lengths of plastic stuffed under the collar, sleeves wrapped around cardboard, plastic pins holding the whole thing together. Its almost a work of art. Certainly, a total waste of time and effort. It always annoys me that I have to undo the buttons before I can iron it too. Why don't they think beyond presentation and consider the wearer?After a quick iron (its "non-iron", really?),
Day 53 - Learnings 2008-04-24 13:51:00 Hey, maybe its time to share what Hazel and I have learnt so far on this low carb journey?(1) Try and buddy up with a partner to share your weight loss journey. It doesn't have to be someone you live with.Why? There's no greater satisfaction than seeing that you've lost more weight than they have.** I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. But you see where this post is heading.(2) Check your emails regularly. Make sure nothing ends up in the SPAM filter folder by mistake.Why? You don't want to miss those alerts telling you someone has commented on your blog. Or those special offers for increasing the size of your manhood. (3) Many spirits have zero carbs. We know. We tasted them. Hic. (4) Drinking spirits instead of eating food is not a good idea.Why? Explaining to the boss why you have decided to wo
Day 52 - Spot the difference 2008-04-23 14:23:00 Take 1 (Monday): Picture the scene. Hazel on the phone: "I can't STAND it! What a waste of bloody time. I'm not even brown. My skin is already peeling. What do you mean - use a sunbed? Do YOU really know how DANGEROUS those things are! Are you trying to give me cancer?! No, I don't want to buy a dress. I wouldn't be able to find anything to fit me. I can't STAND this diet. Its SO unhealthy. I haven't even lost 1 pound in 7 weeks. No, I'm not going for a walk! How on earth do you think I'm going to walk when I feel like this! My calf muscles hurt too much. I think I might go sick on Thursday."Take 2 (Wednesday): Picture the scene. Hazel on the phone:"Yeah, I'm OK. My tan's great, don't you think? I'm looking really brown. Really good. I think I might use that tanning salon - to keep it topp Read more:difference
Day 51 - Bouncing back 2008-04-22 15:01:00 Hazel is feeling a bit better today. The dog (who happens to have a sore paw) finds itself having 3 long walks. Hazel wears her pedometer and covers over 16,000 steps. I'm just glad I was at work. Still, Hazel is sounding a wee bit more positive and her bloating is definitely reducing. Maybe I should try this exercise malarkey? Lift, and rest, lift and rest, lift and rest, phew...this TV remote is quite heavy.
Day 50 - Sick and tired already 2008-04-21 13:08:00 Yesterday evening we pop round to see Hazel's sister. We are invited to stay for dinner and for fear of offending we accept. Its a roast lamb meal with vegetables. Unfortunately, this turns out to be roast potatoes, sweetcorn and carrots, rather than green low carb ones. Through the night I am troubled by a groaning stomach and this morning, this becomes really painful. The food was delicious and I put this down to my body trying to tell me it does not want the higher carbs. I really don't have any other explanation.On the way into work, as I'm driving along, my stomach lurches and I suddenly burp. Oh no. A very uncomfortable almost overwhelming feeling: I think I'm going to be sick. I try and control the feeling but I know its going to be a close call. I try and take a deep breath. For a Read more:tired
Day 41-49 - Sunshine! 2008-04-20 05:52:00 Phew! We're back! Relaxed, sun-tanned ...and bloated. More about that later.Let's roll back to last Saturday. We rise early. I run around the house double checking that we have packed everything we need whilst Hazel and Sullen son blink at me from their beds. Yes, I do get a little anxious before a trip. I like to get to the airport about 3 hours ahead of departure. Hazel on the other hand appears totally oblivious to time and wonders what is actually wrong if we are the last people to check-in. Hazel and Sullen son are like 2 giggling school children by the time we leave. I look like a scowling school master. At the airport, our first task is to find something to eat. (I didn't allow us to eat before we left in case it made us late!). Five times round the departure lounge and it dawns on
Day 40 - Time for a holiday 2008-04-11 14:42:00 Tickets - checkPassports - check Holiday haircut - checkLeg wax - check (ouch!)Sunglasses - check Thong - check (I think NOT)Sun tan cream - checkAloe vera sunburn soothing cream - checkCredit cards - check Macadamia Nuts - check (!)Magazines - checkCaffeine-free tea and coffee - checkSullen son - checkYeah! We're ready! Please let there be sun.Hazel makes it quite clear:"Don't think of bringing the laptop along. I don't want to sit there all by myself whilst you sit there blogging." "Sure", I reply, "I've only got my Ipod". "Oh good", she says, "That's alright".My new shiny Ipod Touch, a present to myself, as Sullen son lost my old one a few weeks ago. It has email and the Internet. Heh, heh,heh.All I need now is a wireless hot spot...
Day 39 - Mood shift 2008-04-10 13:13:00 I hear the scales slide across the bathroom floor and hit the wall. I pop my head in the bathroom. Hazel looks up at me with her eyes fierce: "2 pounds up! Impossible! Damn it! Damn you! Look at all the walking I've done over the last few days. I thought you were clever, eh? You and your bloody blog. If it was any good, you'd have all the answers! What a waste of bloody time!" I retreat to iron my shirt for work. I haven't any answers, other than its still early days. I know Hazel is also worried about going into work as today she moves offices. At times like this, I know its time to put my flak helmet on and keep my head down! We both head off for work. We don't have to worry about Sullen son as he stayed overnight with a friend last night. His friendships are a comfort to us as we have j
Day 38 - Count down! 2008-04-09 17:26:00 We're both feeling pressurised today. The alarm wakes me and Hazel moans. So do I. But I have to get up and Hazel stays in bed. After slowing making a cup of black caffeine-free tea, I put on some eggs to hard boil for breakfast. To eat in the car. Suddenly its an hour later and I'm late. I'm simultaneously trying to peel the eggs, iron my clothes and clean my teeth. Hazel appears and says in one of her most serious tones that I need to cook her bacon and eggs before I head off. She says she's not in a good mood and I'd better show her some support today. As I haven't shown her any support. At all. Not since starting the diet. How I didn't swallow the toothbrush is beyond me. I spend the next frantic 10 minutes sweating over 2 frying pans with white toothpaste round my mouth and chin. Haze
Day 37 - Signs of progress or just delusion? 2008-04-08 15:58:00 Hey, I'm doing alright. I've identified 10 signs of me heading in the right direction:1. I'm losing inches - my pajama bottoms fall down by themselves - OK, yes, I wear nightwear - its been cold recently!2. I'm getting stronger - I broke one of my shoe laces this morning3. I'm eating better - no more indigestion tablets at bedtime4. I'm getting lots of exercise - going to the loo because of the water I'm drinking5. My taste buds are changing - yes, I really do prefer cauli-mash to the real deal6. My suit trousers stay at the waistline - and don't slowly work down to hip level7. Some one at work notices - does it matter that another person asks sincerely: "is it working?"8. I'm almost ready to go to the gym - quickly running out of excuses!9. My head and neck is shrinking - or does my hair Read more:progress
Day 36 - Staying positive 2008-04-07 15:10:00 No major shift in the scales (see how we did on our stats page). This makes me more determined. Hazel is madder. Really annoyed and frustrated that she's finding this so difficult so early in our fat-loss journey. I urge her that she will see the results if she sticks to the meal plan. She pulls a face as if to say: "don't accuse me of cheating", then I think she remembers the empty peanut butter jar which I found during the week. Its a not big deal in itself but it has taken us years to get to a point where we realise we have to get fit and lose weight and we have to be serious about it. Its our one chance.We both eat lots of protein today. As I realise as I absentmindedly chew down my nails on the way home from work in the car.Following Shari's positive approach on her blog, as I eat my
Day 35 - We're snowed in! 2008-04-06 07:28:00 Outside its a snow blizzard. In April! Inside its just as chilly. Hazel is grounded. And feels penned in. She's also hungry.She's sitting on the sofa pulling faces at me. I think I hear her singing: "Roy is a fatty, a fatty, Roy is a fatty".I turn to her and say: "Now, that's not very nice? Is it? Calling me fatty."Hazel replies: "I didn't say fatty. I said FAT HEAD."Oh, that makes it alright, then.
Day 34 - Cleaning day 2008-04-05 15:40:00 I'm awaken with a nudge in the ribs. "I feel really bad", Hazel says,"Talk to me". I turn over and pretend I didn't hear. I get a prod a bit harder. "TALK to me. CHEER me up!". I groan. I turn over. And groan again. "Why are you not helping me?" she asks. I reply wearily: "Coz I'm tired. And not awake yet. Let me sleep." I hear Hazel sigh. Then I get a real nip. A sharp tweak of my skin. "Ouch!" (or something like that) I cry: "Why did you do that?" Hazel replies: "Because you don't care. You don't help. I'm feeling miserable and all you want to do is sleep." (She's spot on). "No, I do care but its early and I need to sleep", I say, "Why don't you get up?" (And let me sleep). Hazel sighs again. She kicks me. Then rises. I try to snuggle up to my pillow but its difficult to fall asleep. Sti Read more:Cleaning
Day 33 - Feeling down 2008-04-04 16:06:00 A day of 2 halves. I work from home today having a relatively stress free time. Hazel goes to work and discusses with her boss whether she has to change jobs as the gossip suggests. She's feeling quite down when she gets home. Its agreed. Hazel moves offices in 2 weeks and she's not happy. This is on top of her mood which has darkened since not losing the weight as quickly as she wanted. I know this because Hazel proceeds to call every girlfriend she knows and she recites the day's events. Each time. Over again.I probably don't pick the right time to say that I read that 3 things can affect weight loss: too many nuts, too much cheese and too much peanut butter. The 3 things Hazel loves! (Today I find an empty peanut butter jar! And its not me who's had it!)Hazel retreats to the bedroom for Read more:Feeling
Day 32 - Sweet cravings 2008-04-03 17:18:00 Don't know why but Hazel is hungry. Funny, I'm not aware of hunger at all and only remember to get lunch because of the mass walk-out of the office at 1200. Hazel has cream cheese, olives and smoked salmon for snacking, but she hankers after something sweet... Read more:Sweet
Day 31 - A miserable day 2008-04-02 17:26:00 Today we are both fed up. Hazel learns at work (through colleagues gossiping) that her boss wants her to work for another consultant. She works hard and can't believe she's being moved. The salad with prawns I prepared for her lunch compounds her bad mood. I try and listen sympathetically but I've had a bad day too.I go for my morning morning and HORROR there's no decaff coffee. WHAT! I step back from the machine and stare blankly. I can't possibly have CAFFEINE. I then take a tour of the building, strolling nonchalantly into the rest areas, checking out the coffee supplies. On the second floor, I hit gold. Nescafe Gold Blend Decaff. I stop my knees from buckling and look furtively from side to side. No-one looking. I grab a handful of coffee sachets and stuff them into my pocket. For late
Day 30 - Its a dog life 2008-04-01 16:59:00 One of the annoying things that hasn't changed since we started our new way of life (I refuse to say "diet" as we are sticking to this) is the dog. Yes. Whether its steak, boiled eggs or cabbage, the dog will sit at my side and put its head on my lap when I'm eating. Waiting for a tit bit. Only it never comes. I never ever feed the dog leftovers. But even though its quite clever (it certainly knows how to get what it wants from Hazel!) it doesn't seem to realise that I'll never give it food scraps. You have to admire its perseverance. A bit like Sullen son when he wants a lift into town.Tonight, I take supper up to Sullen son who is glued to his headphones and the Internet and has seemingly lost use of his legs to come downstairs to eat.When I return, the dog sniffs the air and decides he'
Day 29 - End of Week 4 2008-03-31 15:22:00 I get up early and weigh myself first thing. As the scales don't show me what I want to see I decide to go get a coffee and prepare Hazel's lunch, and then try again later. This is equivalent to Hazel moving the scales round the bathroom floor to see if it makes a difference. It doesn't. See our results this week here on our stats page.We have a healthy salad for lunch. In fact, Hazel leaves my prepared salad in the fridge and meets a friend for lunch at a restaurant. She thoroughly enjoys the Caesar salad she orders which before today she never would have dreamt of ordering. She's also encouraged to see lots of other menu items that are induction-level friendly.We steel ourselves for tonight's dinner: grilled trout, asparagus and roasted cauliflower. It seemed much more tempting on the su
Day 28 - Where's my wine? 2008-03-30 14:03:00 We're sitting watching a film. The dog's on the other sofa. Sullen son is in his room chatting to his friends. Via myspace and bebo. Something's missing though. Hazel is enjoying the comedy we are watching and she absentmindedly asks if I'll go into the kitchen and get her a drink. I plod into the kitchen and return with 2 tumblers of diet coke. Hazel almost explodes: "WHAT is that?" "Coke", I reply. "What the hell do I want with coke?" she shouts. "I meant you to get me wine." I look at her thinking she's joking as we decided this morning that we were both back on the wagon. But her eyes are fierce. "Go get me another drink. I'm not drinking coke!" I plod back into the kitchen and return with a glass of soda water. "Is THAT wine?" she asks suspiciously. "No", I reply. "We're not drinking
Day 27 - Wining and dining 2008-03-29 12:43:00 We are both feeling really lethargic today. I've got dry skin and red blotches over my face. Hazel found it hard going to sleep. Besides the couch, on the coffee table is the culprit: an empty bottle of wine and a half empty one. And that's just mine. Worse still, from our daily dabbling with the scales, we know we aren't going to have lost much this week, if anything. We both function so much better without alcohol. Sullen son prefers it when we don't have a glass in the evening as his "taxi service" gets grounded and so does he, as he is too lazy to walk or catch a bus. So why do we do it? For me, alcohol is an intrinsic part of relieving stress or celebration. Yesterday, was the end of a pressurised week at work, and the end of almost 4 weeks on this new way of life. A great excuse for Read more:Wining
Day 26 - Thank God its Friday 2008-03-28 17:11:00 A good start for the both of us - warm sausages in the car!A busy day at work and salads for lunch.On the way home from work I call in to the supermarket and buy aubergines for moussaka. Not really induction food but a favourite of Hazel's and an end of week treat. Somehow, 4 bottles of dry white wine fall into the basket. As I pay for them, I'm forced to take them home. Dr. Atkins said you could have a glass of wine. Or was it a bottle? Or two bottles? Surely, I'm not going to submit to alcohol tonight. In my best pitying voice, I say: "Lets just have a little drink. Just for the weekend. Then we'll stop." Hazel scowls. "Just a little drink." I say. "Or two." Hazel relents. I cook the moussaka triumphantly.One bottle later, poised to open another, I am wondering if this was such a good id Read more:Thank
, Friday
Day 25 - Plastic Elastic 2008-03-27 17:18:00 I wasn't kidding yesterday about Hazel's prowess with elastic face lifts.Who needs surgery to deal with flabby skin? Hazel has the answer. Tried and tested.First she tried plastic face lifts. The clients were pleased:But Hazel thought she could improve. She wasn't satisfied:She hits upon Elastic! The perfect flexible friend (don't try this at home. Hazel did 5 years medical training):I was impressed:I thought I'd try it myself:Who needs a diet? My double chin is hardly visible.Don't answer! Otherwise, I'll get Hazel onto you with the elastic. Its not a pretty sight. And it hurts. Funnily though, Hazel quite enjoys it. Giving pain, that is! I think I could get used to it. Ha! Read more:Plastic
Day 24 - "I feeel goood!" 2008-03-26 17:47:00 Hazel's blooming. Sullen son is blooming rude.When I return from work, Hazel greets me with: "I feeel goood!" And I believe her. Hazel's skin, energy and mood have all improved over the last 3 weeks.I've noticed improvements in myself too. My trousers are definitely looser as I realise when I find myself hitching them up at work.Pity about the double chin. No change there. In fact if it got looser, it would just wobble more. That's not very attractive is it? In fact, when I look back when I was young. When I was a stick insect. Or as my dad called me: "A long streak of misery". (I'm pleased my son is following in my footsteps...) I think I had a double chin then. Maybe, I was born with a double chin? Will I lose 3 stones and still be able to rest my hot chocolate on my chin?Hazel has a nea
Day 23 - French and Saunders 2008-03-25 17:15:00 Today is crisis day at work for both us. I'm inundated with calls even before I arrive at the office. My boss says: "Hope you had a relaxing Easter weekend. I'm going to change that now!" I'm so busy sorting through the chaos that I forget to eat. I only remember at 6 pm that I've had nothing all day. Not even a decaff coffee. Similarly, Hazel is standing in for a colleague who has called in sick. Only she's not told until she arrives that in fact the whole office pretty much is sick and she's covering 5 million telephone lines. With the one remaining colleague, constantly whining: "Hazel, do you mind getting that phone. I can't stand phones ringing." Luckily, I had done Hazel one of her favourite lunches (avocado and ham salad) so she maintained her composure and good mood. Otherwise I th Read more:French
Day 22 - End of Week 3 2008-03-24 16:23:00 We wake and run to the bathroom to see who is first on the scales. This is how we did.After a robust bacon and egg breakfast, Hazel steps out with the dog into the sleet and rain. For a long walk through the park. Is this the woman I know and love? The person who likes nothing more than a nap in the afternoon? I check under the bed in case she's been cloned by an alien and her real body has been hidden from view. She definitely has twice the energy she had before. In fact, she copes quite well with dragging the Habitat bag I have filled with the empty wine and beer bottles from yesterday's lunch, as I insist that the 'bottle bank' is on her way. I sit back down and return to the laptop, briefing stopping to wonder if I should turn up the heating just a little.Hazel and the dog return exhau
Day 56 - Wake up and smell the coffee! 2008-04-27 14:00:00 I am awakened, as is usual on a weekend, by a prod from Hazel. "Can you open your eyes and see what time it is?" she asks. "Aagh." I moan. "Why do I have to do it?" We are soon both wide awake. Stirring up at the ceiling. "How are you feeling today?" Hazel asks.I take a moment to reply. I make a decision and smile. "Good!" I say. "Today, I'm going to be positive!""Thank god for that" Hazel cries. "I thought you were going to be a moron again, like yesterday."I actually find this kind of comment really refreshing. Sometimes I take myself far too seriously and Hazel is great at knocking me down. So to speak. In fact, Hazel and I are opposites in so many ways. It is true that opposites attract. Hazel is an extrovert, lively in company, sociable and friendly. I'm introverted, quiet and prefer
Day 55 - Not fishing for compliments 2008-04-26 11:13:00 I'm not feeling myself today. Ahem!Its a gloriously sunny day. I must be the only person in Brighton wearing a coat. I am probably the only guy not wearing shorts. I drop Hazel at the beach with the dog while I head off to the supermarket to do our weekly shop. As I drive along, I see the world pass by. Children playing football in the park. A man power walking. Looking like a fast robot with a red headband. And a red face. A dog chasing a dog. A girl with a scooter. Two guys throwing a ball. Someone walking into the sea for a swim. A dog chasing a child. Sorry I made that one up. A couple cycling and laughing. Friends having a picnic. A girl on her mobile. Two more people cycling and laughing. Four couples playing tennis. A guy jogging with an Ipod. I find myself scowling. For some strang Read more:compliments
Day 57 - End of Week 8 2008-04-28 14:51:00 Hazel is all smiles as she leaves the bathroom. Now its time for my turn on the scales. See how we did on our stats page.Its a normal day at work. But I am troubled by my fairly new suit. It doesn't have a belt on the trousers. The waistband is supposed to sit snugly against your (presumably flat) tummy. The height of fashion. Trouble is whenever I sit down - and this is most of the time as I work on my laptop - my stomach pushes the waistband over. Whenever I stand up, it looks like I'm either wearing comedy trousers or I'm a pervert as I fumble to unfurl the waistband in full view of everybody. It also means that whenever I need to cross the open plan office I have to suck in my stomach for fear of the waistband curling over as I walk past people. Because I'm sucking in my stomach, it al
Day 58 - Rich pickings 2008-04-29 15:35:00 I wake with the alarm at 5.00 am. Hazel's got another couple of hours before she has to get Sullen son ready for school. I've a busy day ahead and hit the road with a bag containing 2 diet cokes and 4 chicken thighs for my breakfast. Its pouring with rain and I need to concentrate hard.Lunch time arrives really quickly. Lunch has been ordered in as we've got lots to cover today. I'm told its going to be a 'buffet lunch' so I'm expecting cold meats, etc. I'm the first person to arrive and, to my horror, the first thing I see is: Potato salad! (How spooky is that?) Then a plate of pasta. Some lettuce leaves. A plate of sandwiches and some fresh fruit. Eek! What can I eat? I carefully prod the sandwiches and then the pasta salad. Hidden in the pasta are some lumps of feta cheese which I quick
Day 59 - In the swim 2008-04-30 13:58:00 The weather is appalling today. I spend roughly 5 hours in the car trying to see through the grey rain and spray, driving between meetings. Again at lunchtime, I get caught out with nothing I can eat. Suddenly I get a flash of inspiration and buy a packet of salted peanuts. Better than nothing.When I arrive home, Hazel is sitting down to cold meats, cheese, avocado and olives. Only small amounts but the colour and variety makes it look really tempting. I decide to go for an after-work swim. Yes, an after-work swim. I never thought those words would pass my lips!This is my second visit this week and I'm slightly less hesitant than the first time. I now know just to wave my membership card in the vague direction of the card reader - on Sunday I held up the entrance queue looking for a slot t
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