Owner: Funkyblackchick URL:www.funkyblackchick.com Join Date: Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:42:13 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Those who know me, and actually like me, will tell you that I'm a pretty upfront and sarcastic person, who'll bend over backwards for friends and family. Those who don't like me, simply refer to me as "That bitch", they're us Site statistics:Click here
Any Resemblance To Persons Living Or Dead Is Purely Coincidental 2008-04-23 19:28:00 This evening I did something that I've told myself when I started writing this blog that I would never do. I let it slip to a potential 'prospect', i.e, a man that I could possibly see myself dating eventually, that I keep a blog. I've always told myself that I would never let anyone outside of my very small circle of friends that I have a blog, especially any 'prospects'.Of course, after I let it slip, the first thing he asked me was what do I write about? My only reply I could think of was, "Stuff". He asked me what exactly did I mean by stuff, because that answer was quite vague. I told him it's usually whatever is on my mind at the time, anything from people I may encounter, work, things I may have saw on the news or read in the newspaper. His next question was if I wrote about men.(in Read more:Persons
, Living
(fŭng'kē) Feet 2008-04-22 12:23:00 Picture this scenario. You're relaxing on the couch and enjoying a movie after an evening date with a tall, handsome recently retired NFL star. The two of you get comfortable and remove your shoes and start to stretch out on the couch. After a few minutes, you take in a deep breath and the scent of Fritos lingers across your nasal passage. You look down at your feet and realize that you've never had an odor problem in regards to your feet.The only obvious explanation is that it's the other person's feet! Now, you think to yourself, "If I can smell this stench, I'm sure they can too!". Where are the odor eaters when you need them?Yes, people, his feet smelled horrible. It was like I was sitting on top of Frito mountain in the middle of Summer. Hot. (fŭng'kē). Feet. How appetizing, especi
You Make For Good Breeding 2008-04-19 18:59:00 That title up there ^^^^ is why I stay home and have not been out socializing as much as I used to. The other night I was out with some friends and a guy approached me and grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me up to him so we could dance. When he grabbed my wrist, I pulled away and gave him a quick evil eye and asked him, "Let me guess, your mother didn't teach you any manners and now I'm forced to deal with your bullsh*t on the dance floor?". After he noticed that I wasn't amused by his antics he quickly apologized for his rudeness and asked politely if I wanted to dance.So sure. I danced with the man for a few minutes. I like to keep my boundaries known when I'm dancing with a stranger. I don't want to feel like I'm being groped, I don't want to feel someones manhood rubbing up against my Read more:Breeding
She Look'a Like A Man 2008-04-18 07:35:00 During my 10th grade year in high school, I came across, "Danielle". Danielle was pretty popular at my school, she was pretty, always dressed nice, went out of her way to be nice to everyone and always made sure her make-up was flawless. It wasn't until towards the end of my 10th grade year, that I was told "Danielle" was actually a "Daniel". That was my first exposure to cross-dressing and the pre-cursor to someones transgender lifestyle. I'm sure everyone has seen the various Maury Povich episodes where they had a bunch of beautiful 'women' and you had to pick out the one that was born a man. I'm not sure how many of you've seen those shows, but to me, it was always obvious. Whether it was the broad shoulders, the lack of hips, the manly neck, the over use of Mac make-up, to me it was pr
I Am Not Color Blind 2008-04-14 05:59:00 It's funny how alot of people nowadays claim to be 'color blind'. I always hear cliches thrown around about how 'love sees no color', 'everyone is created equal' and the like. Well let me be the first to admit, that no, I am not color blind. The color lines for me were clearly defined at a very young age. If we lived in a utopian society, of course those cliches or sayings would ring true, but unfortunately that is not the case.If I was color blind, I wouldn't notice the looks I receive by other men and women, when I'm out with my friend Jeff, who happens to be white, and we're playfully holding hands. If I was colorblind, I wouldn't notice how certain schools in the Maryland school system with a larger number of black students have some of the lowest test scores in the state. If I was col Read more:Color
, Blind
Space Invaders 2008-04-09 09:55:00 If there is one thing that I can't stand more than anything is, "SpaceInvaders
"! Those are the people who can't seem to get close enough to you when they have something to say, the ones that are ALWAYS up in your face in a conversation that is not meant to be an intimate one.For example, I have a coworker who small remain nameless. She's the sweetest woman ever, but she's constantly invading other people's space. Just this morning a group of us were in the hallway outside of my office talking and she walks up on me and starts sniffing my neck. She caught me off guard and I moved away really quick. She then started complimenting me on my perfume (Alfred Sung, "Forever"). Ok, I'm fine with the fact that you think I smell good, I mean, I smell good everyday, but was it necessary for you to c Read more:Space Invaders
A (Fŭng'kē) Feeling Friday 2008-04-04 12:41:00 Have you ever been in a bad mood and you just can't shake it off of you, no matter how hard you try? Well for the past week, I've been in one of those moods. I'm not sure if it's the dreary weather that's getting to me, the lack of motivation that I've been dealing with on the job or just the recent turns my life has made in regards to relationships with people that have recently soured. Oh and let me not forget the fact that I'm currently nursing a sty on my eye, that doesn't want to seem to go away (ouch) and my menstrual cycle is having me feel like Niagara Falls! Yeah, TMI, I'm sure.Anywho, I feel a vacation coming on SOON. I need to feel the sun, I need to fill in these left over tan lines from my trip to Puerto Rico back in February. I just need to get away from the MD/DC area, STAT! Read more:Feeling
, Friday
Seven Day Fool 2008-03-30 08:09:00 There's nothing worst than a fool in love. Half the time people don't realize how much of a fool they're capable of being until they're hit by the 'love-bug'. Don't let that love-bug have a big ass stinger either, b/c people then loose all of their faculties. I'm sure everyone can say that at one point in their 'relationship-career' that they've been a fool in love. Men and women alike are all susceptible to playing the fool, no matter how much they say it's impossible for them to.I can remember two occasions where I fell hard in love and avoided the warning signs that were there from the get-go. It gets to the point where you'll do anything to make what you think should work, work. Sometimes you may even loose yourself in the process. I'm far from a relationship expert and I can only spea Read more:Seven
Saturday Morning Videos: Maroon 5 2008-03-29 07:29:00 One of my favorite groups within the past few years is Maroon
5. For a month straight I had their music playing in my car, day and night. I felt sorry for anyone who was a passenger in my car because usually they grew tired of it after the first 10 minutes. Normally, I'm not attracted to skinny, short, white men, but Adam Levine can 'get it'. Below are a few of my favorite songs/videos they've put out over the past few years. Enjoy!This LoveSunday Morning
She Will Be Loved
Read more:Saturday
, Saturday Morning
Where Brooklyn At?: A FBC Dating Moment 2008-03-26 05:12:00 Have you ever sat down and took inventory on the men you've dated in your past? I'm talking about not just only the 'highs' but the 'lows'? The men/women you've made concessions for, the ones you wouldn't normally date, but 'something' was just there?I'll admit in this one dating 'low' of mine, I was a sucker for this pseudo-intellectual cat from Brooklyn
. I'm not going to go into details on how we met, that'll eventually deserve another blog all of it's own. But anyways. The personality and intellect this man had was life-size. He definitely was charismatic and it definitely drew you in. But wait, let me not forget about the voice. Instant pantie pudding (I promised my cousin I would use her favorite term in a blog..there I said it Brandy). It was a deep baritone kind of voice. His skin w Read more:Dating
, Moment
Lurking In The Shadows 2008-03-23 16:38:00 It's amazing that during any given day my site receives upwards of 200+ visits (which is in no comparison to some sites that receive upwards of 5K visits a day). They literally come from everywhere, but mainly through other blogs that have me listed on their page and from Technorati. What amazes me is that people hardly ever let it be known that they visit.Every so often I'll receive a comment here & there. When I had my email address displayed in my profile I would receive a random email as well. I think I'm going to start a "Lurkers Anonymous" group, for those people who lurk.You can now raise your hand and repeat after me, "I am a lurker".I used to be a lurker as well on some of my favorite blog sites. One of my favorite sites that I lurked on was, The Field-Negro's blog. I don't ev Read more:Shadows
It Takes A Village 2008-03-09 09:06:00 ...to come together to stone a man as vicious as this person pictured to the right. Michael Chaffer, who is 40 years old, is accused of raping and impregnating his girlfriend's 10, YES, you read correctly, 10 year old daughter!! When I initially read the news article a wave of nausea hit me. Oh, let me not forget about the mother who failed to protect her little girl from this animal. It seems as though she knew what was going on, and even after there was an order for him not to be around her daughter, she continued to let him in her house! Let me guess, because she LOVED him. For the record, I am an advocate for the death penalty. Yes, that's my only conservative stance. I have come across so many cases of child molestation that I feel certain people shouldn't be allowed to even have a ch Read more:Village
Attention Walmart Shoppers! 2008-03-02 15:04:00 The last place I ever want to be on a Sunday afternoon is Walmart
, but of course today it was my last resort during my search for a reasonably priced allergen mattress cover. To make matters worst, last night was the worst night of sleep I've ever had, it included tossing, turning, fevers and shivers. Needless to say, with my cranky & sickly self, I wasn't looking forward to the Walmart experience.I'm not sure if it was because church services in the area had just let out, or if there was some huge sale going on, but it was packed! Within the first few minutes of walking into Walmart, I heard kids crying, parents yelling, a plethora of languages (Spanish, African & East Indian). The one thing that really struck me was the smell! I'm not sure if it was because I'm sick, but I can on
It's All About MeMe 2008-02-28 18:58:00 I was sent a 50 question meme by a friend of mine today. Typically I don't answer these but I figured since she's sent me this about 5 times already, I'll take some time to fill it out!1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Wow, I need to do something to these eyebrows!2. How much cash do you have on you?there's some change in my purse I'm sure.3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?Eyeore4. Favorite planet?Planet Hollywood5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?Judy6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?She's a brickhouse, it's the tone that plays when my mother calls.7. What shirt are you wearing?Pink Assata Shakur tshirt8. Do you label yourself?Labels are for clothes9. Name the brand of the shoes
Black Face is Ba(ra)ck? 2008-02-24 09:54:00 I've been a Saturday Night Live (SNL) watcher since I was a kid. I remember forcing myself to stay awake every Saturday just to tune into the show. There were countless times when I got into serious trouble from watching it because my parents thought it wasn't age appropriate (these were the same people who always kept my stash of horror novels up to date..go figure).It's rare that I'm home on a Saturday night nowadays, so last night I figured I would try to catch SNL. I remembered earlier in the week, the local news channel ran a story about SNL searching for an Obama look-a-like for a few of their upcoming sketches, so I was eager to see who they came across to cast.To my astonishment, I saw he was portraying Obama: Hmmmm.....Last time I checked, Fred Armisen was a white guy, not a black Read more:Black
I Reminisce Over You 2008-02-23 07:35:00 Last week a long time friend/former significant other instant messaged me while I was at work. Usually we chit-chat a couple of times a week. Never anything major, just about his work/family/OkayPlayer/music..etc..etc..His birthday is coming up and I asked how he was going to celebrate it. From what he told me he didn't have anything planned besides work. Then the subject changed. He told me that I came up in a conversation he was having with a friend of his. Knowing that we don't have mutual friends in common, I was curious as to what this conversation could have been about.Maybe I should have not asked, because that question opened up the flood gate of memories that I locked away. From what he told me, the conversation seemed to have been based on his past 'experiences' and who he would
Dear Ms. Coleman, 2008-02-20 18:28:00 Have you ever heard the song, "911 is a joke"? My sympathy goes out to you and I hope you've recovered from whatever health issue that forced you to call 911 at 7pm tonight. Unfortunately, due to the incompetency of Prince Georges County, MD at around 7:15pm the medics arrived at my house thinking it was 4000_____Lane, instead of 9000_______ Lane and had the nerve to ask if there was anyone in Apartment 410 even though my house is clearly a LARGE single family house. The two streets are no where near each other so I'm not sure where the screw up occured.As a recent resident of Prince Georges County, I have definitely had my fair share of run-ins with the lackluster customer service and incompetency of their public servants. Good old County Executive Jack Johnson, although he has been in of Read more:Coleman
Batteries Not Included 2008-02-20 10:03:00 Last night I laid restless in bed for a couple of hours. I tossed and turned and tossed and turned some more. I really wasn't feeling too well either. My body was warm but I was still freezing. For some reason I couldn't wind down and became more agitated at the fact that I couldn't fall asleep, so I decided to get up and go to the bathroom to wash my face and get a drink of water.While I was sitting in the changing room in my bathroom, I saw a glimmer out of the corner of my eye. I thought maybe that will put me to sleep! I always enjoyed the vibrating motion of one of my favorite electronic devices. The sound alone is soothing, not to mention the sleekness and curves of it when it's in my hands.I stood at the sink and in my typical fashion when I'm about to perform my 'duty', I propped m
The Mile High Fart Club 2008-02-14 15:37:00 There really should be a law against farting on planes. Monday evening we were on our way back from Puerto Rico. The flight was going smoothly and there hardly was any turbulence. The in-flight movie was, "Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants", of course the significant other was upset that it was a chick flick.I decided to recline my seat back and enjoy the movie & my can of chips that set me back $3. All of a sudden the most putrid smell floated past my nose. I turned and looked at HWSRN and he looked as though he was about to puke. The people in the seat behind me uttered a, "WOW, what the fuck??".People, do you realize that when you fart on a plane, the smell is 10xs worst? It's almost as if it's purposefully amplified! How hard is it to walk your gassy ass to the bathroom and relieve
Great Googley Moogley 2008-02-07 02:27:00 I'm addicted.Yeah, you read it correctly.A D D I C T E D!Not to nicotine, not crack, not alcohol, but....G O O G L E!(Stands up and looks around)Hello, I'm Funkyblackchick. and I'm addicted to GOOGLE!I have this bad habit of google'ing people. I guess it's just a part of my inquisitive nature (nosey has such a negative connotation). I started this back in my last job when I would interview people & check their references. Occasionally, information wouldn't pan out, so I would google their names and/or email addresses and it was always amazing what would pop up. So now, when I meet someone, I always make a mental to note to google them and I'm always amazed at what I find. (To my friend in Wisconsin, all I can say is wow!! Donkeys???)What's even more interesting is how people come acros Read more:Great
Damn White People! 2008-02-03 20:45:00 Usually, I try to be a politically correct person. Kumbahyah. We Are The World. I have dream. Is what was reinforced in me growing up as a kid, being that I grew up in mainly predominately mixed neighborhoods in the New Jersey area. I can say that I never had any issues growing up in regards to being 'black' or from being what people nowadays like to refer to as 'bi-racial'. I guess that also has alot to do with my brownness as well. I blended in pretty well with just about everyone, whether they were Latino, East Indian, West Indian..etc..etc...but I knew then and now that I was/am a Black American, I really didn't need anyone to remind me of that. That was then, in New Jersey, "now" consists of me living in Maryland. My first fondest memory I have was seeing pick-up truck with the back Read more:White
Things Fall Apart 2008-01-26 14:40:00 No matter how prosperous a man was, if he was unable to rule his women and his children (and especially his women) he was not really a man ~Chinua Achebe, "Things Fall Apart"These past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind for me. So much going on and very little time. My days seem to fly by and end at the blink of an eye. Currently I'm juggling my full-time career and also running my own company. I've tried to spend equal time on both and not to develop a conflict of interest, but that seems pretty hard to do being that both are directly related in some form.In any event, I will survive.This week has proven to be a week of trial and tribulations for several of my friends. As I'm about to embark on a monumental event in my life in 2 weeks, seemingly their relationships have fallen apart at
What Happens To A Dream Deferred? 2008-01-21 21:44:00 A Dream
Deferredby Langston HughesWhat happens to a dream deferred?Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore-- And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over-- like a syrupy sweet?Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.Or does it explode?
'Roids Mania! 2008-01-14 07:54:00 Barry Bonds did it. Marion Jones did it. Roger Clemens did it. Wyclef Jean did it. Mary J did it. 50 Cent did it. Timbaland did it. Tyler Perry did it.Yup, the newly accused users of steroids are no longer athletes, but top entertainers. I'm pretty much not surprised that 50 cent or Timbaland were named in this news article. What threw me off was Wyclef, Tyler Perry & Mary J Blige. According to the article, supposedly authorities are saying that the above mentioned haven't violated any laws, but they are investigating the spas/clinics & doctors that prescribed them.In any event, it just goes to show you the extremes some people take in their lives to stay 'on top'. But with every quick fix there's always going to be some sort of long term consequence. (side note: I guess the rumo Read more:Mania
50 Shots vs Unpaid Taxes 2008-04-27 10:46:00 Ladies and gentleman, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the American legal system has proven once again to be one of the biggest jokes in history. I'm pretty sure other countries have had a good laugh at us in regards to last weeks most popular court verdicts.First we have Wesley Snipes standing before the courts in Florida, with $5 million dollars in hand, as a good faith gesture for his delinquent tax bill.Now, let me be the first to say, I AM NOT A FAN of Mr. Snipes and I also believe that if I have to pay taxes, so should he. Every time I see the amount of taxes taken out of my paycheck I want to cringe, but it's one of those necessary evils that the government will not let go and never will.In any event, Wesley Snipes received the maximum sentence that the courts could impose Read more:Taxes
Sexual Harassment On The Playground: Gone Are The Days of Double-Dutch & Hopscotch 2008-04-30 09:19:00 When I was in 8th grade, it never ceased to amaze me how certain girls in my class felt that it was an 'honor' to get randomly felt-up by a male classmate, especially if he was the cute popular one. Back then, at the ages of 12/13, every one's hormones were raging, but my mother didn't raise a 'fast-tail' girl (that's what my grandmother called them).I remember one incident in particular and it took place during 7th period Chemistry class. Mr. Sakowitz had his typical coffee in one hand and cigarette in the other, yes my teacher smoked during class. As I made my way to my desk, I was approached by another classmate named Mustafa. Typically I tried to avoid him at all costs because he was a known culprit when it came to ass grabbing.When I finally reached my desk, he did the unthinkable, an Read more:Sexual
, Harassment
, Dutch
, Sexual Harassment
A Moment of Relapse 2008-05-02 23:31:00 A Moment
of RelapseTonight on my way home, I almost had a moment of relapse. I guess at some point in life everyone has their addictions that they must fight.Off and on for the past three or so years I've been fighting with my own. Recently I've actually been doing good. I haven't had any cravings whatsoever. There had not been any temptations that might have caused me to slip up.That was until tonight.He crossed my mind.Yes my addiction was a person. I can actually pinpoint why. I was standing on line about to pay for my gas when a scent of cologne floated past my nose. It smelled exactly like the last cologne I smelled on him. The smell was so close I could just taste it.'Whatpump are you using, Miss?'Is what brought me back to reality. I was so tempted to dial those
Mad Max Beyond ThunderProm 2008-05-07 08:15:00 One of my favorite movies as a kid was, "Mad Max
Beyond Thunderdome", with Tina Turner & Mel Gibson. The main thing I loved about the movie was the costume and set designs. Although it didn't have one of the best plots, but at that time I was 11 years old, so that really wasn't a concern of mine.In the movie the promised land is referred to as "Tomorrow Morrow Land", and Max (Mel Gibson) has agreed to help the lost children in their search of "Tomorrow Morrow Land", but then comes across Aunt Entity (Tina Turner) and the battle ensues.Who would have thunk it, that almost 23 years later in the year 2008, the offspring of the lost children of "Tomorrow Morrow Land" are alive and well and now attending their first prom!People, please get your kids!! Upon viewing these photos, I figured ou
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