Owner: JUST JOKES URL:http://jusstjokes.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:23:09 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: IT IS SAID THAT LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE...NO MATTER WHAT MOOD U R ON IT WILL SURELY CHANGE IT TO A HAPPY ONE..I LOVE TO BE HAPPY AND WANT EVERY BODY TO B HAPPY SO LETS ENJOY THE SITE...AND DONT FORGET TO COMMENT ..SO HAPPY LAUGHING ! AND....HAKUNA M Site statistics:Click here
WORK VsPRISON 2008-04-18 11:44:00 IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 desk cubicle.IN PRISON...you get time off for good behaviour.AT WORK...you get more work for good behaviour.IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visitAT WORK...you can't even speak to your family on the phone.IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.Have a Great Day at WOR
Aligator shoes! 2008-04-18 11:29:00 A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes
in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he se
WHO NEEDS VIAGRA! 2008-04-15 11:38:00 A man gets his new prescription for Viagra, and starts home to get ready for when his wife gets home.He calls her on the phone, and says, "I'll be home in an hour.""Perfect," she replies.The man thinks her agreement is great because the Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before. He takes the Viagra and waits.Well, an hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no wife...She calls him on the cell phone and says, "Traffic is terrible. I won't be there for about an hour and a half."The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice."What should I do?"he asks.The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do you have a housekeeper around?""Yes" the man replied."Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead?" said the Doctor.The man then replied with dismay, "But I don't need
EXHAUSTED! 2008-04-15 11:38:00 A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time.After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse."Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says.The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday."I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband."
Afraid that someone will stole your slippers? 2008-04-15 11:12:00 Afraid that someone will take away your slippers when you leave them outside the place of worship?Follow the same method as this genius sardar
Most Worthless New Inventions 2008-04-15 11:12:00 The water-proof towelGlow in the dark sunglassesSolar powered flashlightsSubmarine screen doorsA book on how to readInflatable dart boardsA dictionary indexPowdered waterPedal powered wheel chairWater proof tea bagsWatermelon seed sorterZero proof alchoholReusable ice cubesSee through tiolet tissueSkinless bananasDo it yourself roadmapHelicopter ejector seat
DAMN FISH 2008-04-11 12:08:00 There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!!!!"
ULTIMATE DESIRE! 2008-04-11 12:04:00 In a city park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years.Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."And with that command, the statues came to life.The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dived behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the giggling of statues, rustling of bushes and snapping of twigs.After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues,
Fundas 2008-04-11 12:03:00 School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.Conference Ro
NO EXTRA POWER! 2008-04-11 12:01:00 One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever.The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joined him.This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof pad and pencil, and wrote, "Amazing! How are you able to stay this deep down without equipment?"The guy took the pencil and pad, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
HOW CRAZY A WOMAN CAN GET? 2008-04-10 11:44:00 FBI JOB OPENING:The FBI an opening for an assassin.After all the background checks,interviews and tests were done,there were three finalist;two man and a woman. For the final test,the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun."We must know that u will follow your instruction no matter what the circumstances.Inside the room u will find your wife sitting in a chair....kill her!" The man said,"U can't b serious.I could never shoot my wife"The agent said,"Then u r not the right man for the job.Take ur wife and go home." The second man was given the same instructions.He took the gun and went into the room.All was quite for about 5mins.The man came out with tears in his eyes."I tried but i cant kill my wife.".The agent said "U dont
THE BIRD! 2008-04-09 12:01:00 A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautifulparrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.“Why so little?” she asked the pet store owner.The owner looked at her and said, “Look, I should tell you first thatthis bird used to live in a house of prostitution and sometimes it sayssome pretty vulgar stuff.”The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.She took it home and hung the bird’s cage up in her living room andwaited for it to say something.The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, “New house, newmadam.”The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought,“That’s really not so bad.”When her two daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, “Newhouse, new madam, new girls.
sardarji 4th child 2008-04-09 12:01:00 Sardarji got the fourth child
.He fills data in the birth certificate.“Mother: Sikh.Father: Sikh.Kid: Chinese.”“How come you write “Chinese” when both parents are Sikh?”” Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese.”originally from
Marriage...Strike That, Reverse It... 2008-04-08 11:32:00 A conversation before marriage...He : Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.She : Do you want me to leave?He : No! Don't even think about it.She : Do you love me?He : Of course! Over and over!She : Have you ever cheated on me?He : No! Why are you even asking?She : Will you kiss me?He : Every chance I get.She : Will you hit me?He : Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!She : Can I trust you?He : Yes.She : Darling!To read a conversation after marriage, simply read this in reverse... Read more:Reverse
Snake's New Glasses 2008-04-08 11:32:00 A old snake goes to see his Doctor."Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days." The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?""The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!" Read more:Snake
, Glasses
The Wedding Test 2008-04-08 11:32:00 I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister.My prospective sister-in-law was 22, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate, because she never did it when she was near anyone else.One day, her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.Well, I was in t
RIGGED GAME 2008-04-06 11:57:00 A gas station owner in Mississippi was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, "Free Kisses with Fill-Up."Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free kisses. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free kisses. The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7.... sorry, no kisses this time."A week later, the same redneck, along with a buddy, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free kisses. The proprietor again asked him to guess the correct number. The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free kisses this time."As they were driving away, the redneck said to his buddy, "I think that
The Kiss 2008-04-22 11:39:00 A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.He replies: "I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you."She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that...1) you have to be single and 2) you must be Catholic."The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!""OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss th
Kids and Teachers 2008-04-22 11:39:00 TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.MARIA: Here it is.TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?CLASS: Maria.__________TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.__________TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'TEACHER: No, that's wrong.GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
BOB SAYS........ 2008-04-22 11:39:00 Bob is in the army.After 4 months of being in the army, his girlfriend sent him a letter saying she'd slept with 2 guys since he'd left and wanted to break-up and all the pictures he had of her sent back. So Bob did what any other American would do. He went around to all his army buddies and asked for pictures of girls they wouldn't mind giving up. He then took all the pictures, some decent, some X-rated, and put them in a big envelope to send to his girlfriend with a note saying"I don't remember you. Please remove your pictures and send the rest back."
Three Guys in Heaven 2008-04-22 11:39:00 Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter.“So,” Peter asks the first guy, “how many times did you cheat on your wife?”“None. I had a perfect marriage.”“Great,” says Peter. “You get to cruise around heaven in a Mercedes. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?”“Only twice, I think,” says the second guy.“Okay. You get to cruise around heaven in a Cadillac. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?”“12 times. Maybe 13,” says the third guy.“Okay,” says Peter. “You get a rusty Ford.”Later that day, the guy in the Cadillac sees the guy in the Mercedes crying.“What’s wrong?”“I just saw my wife and she was riding a skateboard!” Read more:Three
, Heaven
WATER! 2008-04-22 11:39:00 TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?DONALD: H I J K L M N O.TEACHER: What are you talking about?DONALD: Yesterday, you said it's H to O.
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