Owner: Tales From My Tiny Kingdom URL:http://www.mytinykingdom.com Join Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2007 12:47:24 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: The tooth fairy gets drunk and forgets leave Finn money for his tooth, Drew has burning buttocks and Porter is spying for the government. Another day in Anne Glamore's life in the Tiny Kingdom. Site statistics:Click here
Sergeant Mom Gets Mushy 2007-04-30 15:31:46 I’ve spent the better part of the last five years in the role of domestic drill sergeant over my boys:
“Stop! Who goes through that doorway first- you or a lady?”
“What would be a better way to ask for that? Remember the word ‘please?’ Moms really like to hear it.”
“Why is your napkin on the table when the table doesn’t have a mouth and cannot eat a hamburger?”
“Be sure and tell Chatty Mom ‘thanks for the ride’ or she may get tired of driving you to school and you’ll have to walk every morning, even when it rains.”
“Towels don’t have muscles, so they can’t put themselves back on the towel rack.”
“‘Uh-huh’ is not a word. It’s ‘yes ma’am or yes sir.’”
It’s easy to feel that it’s all for naught, but now that the guys are eight and eleven I can see some of the lessons slowly taking ho Read more:Sergeant
Marathon Mom’s Airport Adventure 2007-05-03 14:49:07 She irritated him the first time they met. They were both at the airport, sitting next to each other at the shoeshine stall. She carelessly set down her coffee, which spilled and splattered all over his new cell phone. She apologized, and he accepted but didn’t mean it.
Later they eyed each other warily across the terminal. She looked familiar to him, though he knew he’d never seen her before. He rose from his seat and stretched, then approached her.
“Are you related to Anne Glamore?” he inquired. “You look a lot like her.”
She wasn’t, but Marathon
Mom was on her way to New York to help care for me after my spine surgery. She had never been to the city, and despite my assurances to the contrary, pictured muggers lurking in every shadowy doorway and rapists waiting to attack her as she took out the garbage. Nonetheless, she was willing to risk her life to help a friend in need.
He introduced himself as Chris. He told her that h Read more:Adventure
My Wild & Crazy Guys 2007-05-07 15:22:51 To Finn: You know I like to wake to the mellifluous voice of Steve Inskeep on Morning Edition. Why, then, do you insist on setting your alarm to blast Weird Al Yankovich’s “Found It On eBay” when you know it is likely to piss me off?
Tell me why (I need another Pet Rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner’s toupee)
They had it on eBay
You’re lucky I really love you.
To Drew: The Sunchips, marshmallows, saltines and roasted peanuts were actually intended for consumption, but if you’d rather painstakingly construct a culinary/architectural masterpiece with them it’s okay by me. Using honey to hold “The Greatest Snack of Your Dreams” together was sheer genius, and the blue starberries add a bright, cheery touch. Way to go, future Frank Lloyd Wright/Thomas Keller man!
To Porter: The look on your face says there’s nothing more fun than jumping on the trampoline while splashing Read more:Crazy
Music Festival Review: Top Five Offbeat Observations From My Three Sons 2007-05-09 15:08:00 1. Drew: Mom usually doesn’t mind when Porter picks up junk off the ground because he does that everywhere, but she really freaked out when she realized he was carrying this empty bottle.
She told us it was called Jagermeister. She said Jagermeister is an energy drink for animals and the bottle probably had horse germs so Porter had to put it down immediately. When she said that Daddy started snorting and I saw a booger moving up and down in his nose. There was a picture of a deer on the label of the bottle, but I didn’t see any animals at the concert. Well, I saw crawfish, but they were dead and people were eating them.
2. Finn: My brothers and I were at the Chick-fil-A tent getting dinner while Mom bought our drinks. I saw her talking to a man while she was at the Budweiser tent buying my dad a beer. I think the man was trying to flirt with her. I told Daddy, “That man is trying to put the moves on our Mom.” We got our chicken nuggets and ra Read more:Music
, Festival
, Three
, Music Festival
, Top Five
Follow (Some Of) Your Dreams! 2007-05-16 23:31:28 We’ve raised the boys to believe they can grow up to be anything they want, as long as they work hard, get plenty of sleep and don’t overdose on Froot Loops and Sprite first.
That’s why it was disconcerting for me to hear the following exchange while I was eavesdropping on the twins’ bath:
Drew: “When I grow up, I’m going to be a lawyer, a chef, a famous artist or a drunk hobo.”
Porter: “If I can’t be an inventor guy, I’ll just be a mama’s boy.”
When I grow up, I’m going to be one pissed off old lady. Maybe Finn will take care of us all.
Read more:Dreams
In Which Bill Is Assaulted By Hyperbole 2007-05-14 15:38:18 Last night after all the boys were in bed Bill went through his usual routine of locking the doors and turning off the lights.
As he stopped to check the thermostat, Finn moaned from his room, “Dad, it’s broiling in here. You’ve got to turn the air conditioner on more or I’m not going to be able to sleep because I’m sweating so much.”
“Finn, your mother gets chilly at night so we need to compromise on the temperature.”
“You don’t understand, Dad. I need some relief. Steam is coming out of my skin. I’m going to die of dehydration if the air isn’t cooler.”
I heard Bill sigh and fiddle with the controls. A frigid wind started blowing from our vent as he trudged into our room.
“Honey, it’s colder than the Arctic tundra in here,” I complained. “This climate is suitable for polar bears and penguins, but not humans and certainly not me.”
Finn yelled from his room, “An Read more:Assaulted
, Hyperbole
I Lied When I Said It Would Be Fun 2007-05-21 08:45:50 I christened this past weekend The Immaculate Glamore Home Extravaganza! and publicized it well in advance. I bought real Cokes for the boys to drink in honor of the occasion, although in general I’m violently opposed to the consumption of sugary carbonated beverages. As a final touch, I rigged up the iPod and speakers to blare the boys’ favorite songs (except those by Weird Al) in the driveway. There was an undeniable party atmosphere hovering around our house.
Early Saturday morning, Finn, Drew and Porter had been won over by the enormous preparation and my constant assurances that they were about to experience “a weekend you won’t forget.”
But as soon as Bill and I pulled out the pruners, the leaf blower, the ladder, the hedge trimmers, the hoses, the rakes and the wheelbarrow, they recognized the weekend was really about yard work. Unfortunately for them, the fact that they’d caught on didn’t provide an escape. We were all laborin
Preparing For The Enemy 2007-05-25 11:52:37 The twins aren’t relaxing their guard just because school ends today. Our house is a notorious girl-haters headquarters, as least where the eight-year-olds are concerned. That doesn’t mean some pesky females and their cooties won’t sneak over and try to kiss someone. Those girls will smooch anyone, I’m told.
After school yesterday, Drew and Porter commenced the creation of a complicated defense system designed to detect and intimidate any females under age nine who cross into Glamore territory.
The boogie board is mounted on a skateboard at the rear end for maximum maneuverability. The black tubes from the leaf blower provide dual functions: they act as telescopes while simultaneously imitating the look of gun barrels aimed squarely at oncoming interlopers. Those who venture too close to the mighty defenders will be caught in the basketball net and thrown in the trash can.
Here’s a look at the duo manning their battle stations.
Girls, all thi Read more:Enemy
Boring Blogger Has Career Day Envy 2007-05-23 08:22:00 Getting a compliment from a sixth-grader is the highest form of flattery, so I was thrilled when a close friend’s daughter asked me to talk about writing at her school’s Career
Day. Although I’ve never given this type of talk to twelve-year-olds before, I’ve done it in front of several adult audiences, and I figured I would be a huge hit with the preteen crowd.
I like to make sure I have a large film screen set up so everyone can see the screen well. I demonstrate how comments work, and how clicking on the name in a comment will take you to that person’s blog. I show them the back side of the blog where all the coding is and that generally draws a big response and much undeserved respect for my limited coding skills.
It’s also a cool touch to show the audience your stat program at the beginning of the talk so they can see how many readers have checked in, and then look again at the end of the presentation so they can see how many people clicked on Read more:Blogger
Training Session: Snack Food Storage 2007-05-29 08:42:38 Session One: Famous Amos Cookies
Bill led a grueling session on opening a bag of cookies, placing the cookies into a Ziplock bag, and, crucially, pulling the white plastic zipper firmly from one end of the bag to the other to ensure that the bag is completely closed and the cookies will stay fresh. Each boy then demonstrated his ability to 1) locate the Ziplocks and 2) open and close them without difficulty. I presented a guest lecture on the necessity of transporting the bag of cookies from the counter to the pantry. Unattended cookies left on the counter will be confiscated.
Session Two: Advanced: Application of Chip Clip
Bill oriented the boys to the secret storage place of the chip clips: the drawer to the right of the stove. Each boy was given a bag and practiced neatly folding down the open ends and securing them firmly with a chip clip. Again, I stepped in to emphasize that even beautifully clipped bags of chips must be deposited in the bin in the pantry or risk being Read more:Training
, Snack
Penguin Fillets 2007-06-04 13:37:21 “We’re eating sardines and making brownies for a lemonade stand,” Bill reported when he called.
I wasn’t surprised by either activity. Summer is only a week old, and profits and penguins have emerged as the major topics of conversation and activity thus far. The boys have set up increasingly complex lemonade stands each day. Their first endeavor, in which they sold Fresh-baked Pound Cake and Ice-Cold pink lemonade with TONS of Cubes (signs and adjectives courtesy of Finn) garnered each boy over five dollars. The next day they got more creative with their offerings– a little too innovative, if customer response is any indication, and failed to sell much Hand-Dyed Brown Lemonade, although the sugar cookies were a modest hit.
Drew has slept with a stuffed penguin named Lewis for years, and he just added another named Osbert (hero of the book My Penguin
Osbert)to the menagerie. Osbert eats creamed herring, and when I got to Publix the other day I dis
Bad Bride 2007-06-08 10:42:34 People generally write in to ask me parenting questions, and I am full of nifty solutions like sprinkling baby powder on your eight-year-old’s butt to induce sleep. I was surprised to receive the following email on a different topic altogether:
Anne:
I am getting married in 33 days. Any advice on getting through that day?
Thanks,
That Girl
I’m ashamed to say that That Girl wrote me at the beginning of May, and it has taken me this long to come up with any constructive counsel whatsoever. Seriously, That Girl, I’ll be a much more valuable resource after the wedding when your husband cuts his toenails in the kitchen rather than the bathroom and you want to correct this deficiency in a loving manner.
But because you asked for wedding advice, I’ll do my best to provide some.
It took me a while to remember our wedding day, and I had to consult Bill on this question. We scoured the house and finally located our wedding album. That brought back some of the dramat Read more:Bride
Sardines and Songs: Off To Camp 2007-06-12 18:25:29 Sardines will stink up a minivan instantly, I discovered when the boys and I loaded up to haul Drew and Finn to camp. We had driven four or five inches down the driveway before I noticed the fishy smell and stopped. A hurried investigation revealed that Porter had eaten sardines for lunch, and we all went back inside in the air conditioning while he washed his hands and arms, changed his shirt and brushed his teeth. Then we tried again.
After the trouble we had getting to camp last year, I wasn’t looking forward to this year’s drive to North Carolina. I treated the minivan to an oil change and new wiper blades before the trip. The van has a few more miles on it and a new jagged crack across the front windshield, but I hoped the car would view these shortcomings as signs of character, not something to get pissy about in the middle of Atlanta.
We hadn’t even gotten on the interstate before the Great iPod Battle of 2007 began. Drew and Finn were each equipped
The Wheelbarrow of Love 2007-06-15 13:49:03 Until yesterday, you would have been justified in calling us white trash. We’d had a green wheelbarrow full of rocks and weeds sitting in the corner of our driveway for at least a year, visible to everyone who drove by. Pieces of industrial plastic were embedded under the rocks and protruded awkwardly from the sides. The wheelbarrow had been there so long that it had created its own biosphere, and despite the drought affecting the rest of the state, gangly weeds grew from the top of it, lording it over the crisp brown azaleas nearby.
It wasn’t that we were unaware that the wheelbarrow was enormously repulsive. Last summer we left it out by the street for the garbage men to pick up, to no avail. They ignored it for a few weeks and then stuck a sign on it that said “This isn’t trash or garbage.” We took that to mean they wouldn’t be handling it and with difficulty we managed to nudge in into the corner where it sat, undisturbed, for months.
Old Bathwater 2007-06-19 11:03:41 Looks like I can quit forcing Porter to haul buckets of dirty bathwater outside to pour on my perennials, for the moment at least, because it’s raining.
Unfortunately, the paper says it’s not going to rain much, and we’re still under Stage Three drought watering restrictions. We can water by hand every Tuesday and Friday before 10 am and after 10 pm. I can never seem to get to the hose at those hours, which is why we have two bathtubs full of nasty water, which can be used at any time.
At this point all I’m interested in saving are the French blue hydrangeas and rose campion my mother gave me. The grass is brown and crispy and I just don’t give a damn.
Will the Pantene Pro-V Shampoo and Conditioner in the water kill my plants, or give them shiny, voluminous foliage?
Shouldn’t Porter, the inventor/mama’s boy, be able to come up with an easier way to get the water from the tub to the plants?
Suggestions are welcome!
Our House Is A Killing Field 2007-06-21 08:14:37 A crawfish and two goldfish joined our household this week. Bill won $30 and the goldfish in Bingo, and while Porter was pleased, it’s my belief that an animal should be considered a punishment, not a prize, no matter how innocuous it may be. I was peeved. However, I put on a happy face and I dutifully bought some goldfish flakes and a net.
Saturday the firm had a party and Porter chowed on crawfish, sausage, and artichokes, and then he saw a stray crawfish wandering the yard. He stuck it in a Solo cup, declared it a pet and brought it home. Bill and I were too worn out by the festivities to google the crawfish habitat, which in retrospect should probably have been a brackish or swampy environment.
That was beside the point, as Porter immediately rummaged in the attic and located another fishbowl and dumped the crawfish in a bowl of water next to the goldfish. The crawfish perished before being named, and it appears the cause of death was drowning.
We have a large pet Read more:House
, Killing
, Field
The Simple Squalid Water Pumper 2007-06-27 11:03:41 The extreme drought conditions are making things tough on everyone. The grass is brown and crispy. Carwashes are closed. Our city has received 16 inches less than normal rainfall for the year if I’m reading the local weather station correctly.
Don’t take my word for it:
French blue hydrangeas my mother gave me dying of dehydration
Patch of fried grass by mailbox
Under the mandatory watering (or non-watering) guidelines in place now, odd-numbered addresses can handwater lawns and gardens before 10 am and after 10 pm on Tuesdays and Fridays. I’ve gotten Porter to water in the morning a couple of times, but none of us has been enthused about going outside in the dark to hose down perennials.
We’ve been saving water from baths and showers and taking it outside in buckets, but that has quickly grown tiresome.
Thus, this weekend I encouraged Porter’s resourcefulness (Dear Lord, I truly will die if he becomes a mama’s boy as he has threatened) and Read more:Simple
Twin Tales Proved True: A Look Back 2007-06-24 16:20:22 Sure, I’m prone to exaggeration but most of what I say is fairly accurate, no matter what the Voice of Reason and Bill believe.
I have long been telling the boys stories about things they did when they were little, and Bill has doubted my veracity each time. This weekend I was working on a project that required me to go through some (millions) of photos, and I found photographic proof of the following anecdotes circa 1999 or 2000:
1. It is no use sending one twin to time-out.
You can try.
But because twins travel in teams, the other will wander over and the punishment will morph into a giggle-session, and all hopes of teaching a lesson will be lost.
On the up side, the pictures will be worth it.
2. Once the twins were mobile, it was hard to keep up with both them and Finn, who was four at the time of the next picture. One day in the midst of the cacophony, I lost Porter. We were all inside and the doors were locked, so I knew he had to be in the house. Still, it took Read more:Tales
Testosterone Central 2007-06-28 20:12:09 I feel as if I’m living in a frat house, not the suburbs. I picked Finn and Drew up from camp Tuesday and although they spent the next two days washing the foul-smelling contents of their trunks, that hasn’t been enough to domesticate them.
They’re chanting at the table:
Porter: “I’m still hungry.”
Finn: “Mora mora!”
Drew: “Bora bora!”
In unison, fists pounding on table: “Mora mora, bora bora hey!”
I had them start the grill as usual tonight, then stumbled upon them tossing flaming charcoal briquets onto the patio and throwing leaves and berries on top to savor the sizzle.
I’ve concluded that chanting and playing with fire are ancient rituals that link my boys to the cave men.
I wasn’t planning on living with frat boys or cave men at age forty, so I’m hiding in the basement, waiting for them to fall asleep.
Read more:Central
Get Off Your Donkey 2007-07-02 21:09:07 I chugged a celebratory gin and tonic when it was clear that all three of my boys were able to read by themselves. No more fumbling for a reasonable explanation as to why “cough” doesn’t rhyme with “enough.” On crotchety days I could screech, “Get out of here and go read a book!” Best of all, I suddenly had more time to catch up on current events in my New Yorker and US Weekly.
What parent can resist seeing his child engrossed in a book? Not me, and I know you can’t either. Try to tear your eyes away.
Reading during dinner at a restaurant, the hell with the macaroni.
You can read Captain Underpants anywhere.
I didn’t know boys were biologically capable of reading during a basketball game, but hey, whatever.
Encyclopedia Brown is still capable of enthralling the small fry.
Look at these intelligent, calm boys who were obviously raised by a devoted, intellectual mother.
(Okay, they only sat side-by-side reading quietl Read more:Donkey
Finn Chases A Dream 2007-07-11 21:36:43 Finn is almost as obsessed with triathlons as Bill is. He’s done several kids’ triathlons, and he’s participated in adult-distance races as part of a relay team. One of my friends’ daughters, Allie, does the swim, Finn bikes, and another boy handles the run.
Allie is a wildcat. She has big blue eyes and knows no fear. She got her braces off a couple of months ago.
Allie swims all year. Watching her in the water is surreal– when she climbs out you expect her to have a mermaid tail or at least webbed feet, but she doesn’t sport anything unusual except her name written in cursive on the butt of her swimsuit. She doesn’t even train for the biking and running segments of the races, but she’s such a fantastic athlete that she routinely places first in her age group and well ahead of most of the girls and boys anywhere near her age, including Finn.
He doesn’t seem to mind. When he finished a minute behind her at a race last w Read more:Dream
A Mother’s Dilemma 2007-07-09 21:08:12 Porter generally has little desire for privacy, so I was shocked to see a sign on his door this morning.
I wanted to respect his boundaries. After all, there are times when I want people to KEEP OUT and I say, “I am going to lie down for fifteen minutes. DO NOT DISTURB ME.”
It was the DANGER! that had me concerned. Last time I heard that word being bandied about the house, the boys were tossing hot charcoal in the air and spraying it with insect repellent to watch it explode into flame before it hit the ground.
I opened the door.
Seems that the only danger was to my mental health.
Where’d This Cooking Blog Come From? 2007-07-08 17:09:43 When I was writing about the twins looking up cuss words in the dictionary I mentioned that I was making Chipotle Chicken on Corn Cakes for dinner and everyone freaked out. I had NO IDEA everyone would salivate at the mention of our dinner and then send emails pleading for the recipe.
It’s ironic that I saw the recipe at all, as it came from the May issue of Real Simple. I detest that magazine, because I think I think it’s mis-named. There’s no way an outdoor party is going to be “real simple,” for example, unless it’s at someone else’s house and I am a guest.
Anyway, I was at the doctor’s office and there was nothing else to read, not even a Car and Driver, and so I thumbed through this magazine and stole the luscious recipe I’m about to share. It’s easy, light and unique. Without further ado, I present:
Smoky Chicken Corn Cakes
The recipe speaks for itself, but you could throw in a can of drained diced tomatoes dur
Explicit Knowledge 2007-07-15 16:33:39 My son: “Daddy, sometimes does your penis get stiff and tall and then go back down?”
Bill: “Um, yes. Yes, sometimes my penis does that.”
My son: “Did you know I can make mine do that on purpose?”
Bill: “Really?”
My son: “Yep. It’s easy. You just hump a pillow. [Brother’s name deleted] told me that. You should try it.”
Bill: “Thanks for the info.”
My son: “Goodnight!”
This exchange shouldn’t have shocked me. I’ve long known that I am the lone female surrounded by guys, and I’ve shared that fact with you.
You’ve seen the battles against cooties, the boys’ success in turning a social faux pas into a delightful game, the heinous tricks they play on an unsuspecting mother at night, the science experiments they dream up.
But still, this was on a different level altogether.
My Tiny Kingdom: jam-packed with helpful information.
Read more:Explicit
, Knowledge
Incongruous 2007-07-17 09:25:24 We bought Drew a short-scale bass today (it’s smaller than a regular bass guitar), but he’ll have to keep taking piano keyboard lessons until he grows a little more. That will give him time to noodle around on it, though, and figure out some cool sounds.
Now that Finn’s proficient on the drums, Porter’s messing with both the acoustic and electric guitar, and the bass with a mind-blowing amp has been added to the lineup, you might call our house CACOPHONOUS.
The long-haired, multi-ringed guy at the music story found it odd that I drove up in a minivan wearing my Jazzercise clothes and then bemoaned the fact that Garbage doesn’t seem to be making any music these days, although I hear Shirley Manson has a solo album coming out this year. I didn’t fit his stereotype.
Apparently he had me pegged as the Michael Buble type.
In other news, Finn is currently preparing Beefaroni for his brothers for lunch, and pondering whether to add thyme or oregano to i
Presenting YO MAMA! 2007-07-18 20:22:59 Here’s the premiere of YO MAMA, the first ever Glamore-Us movie.
It does have sound, so be careful at work.
No animals were harmed in the making of this film, although we almost had to kill Porter during filming. He drank a Grapico while waiting for me at Jazzercise the morning of the shoot, and the sugar content damn near turned him into a pogo-stick.
Also, if IMAX bothers you, you may want to take a Dramamine before viewing. It’s not that we were able to replicate IMAX technology, far from it, but the camera was a little shaky and the movie is quite active.
I’m thinking that a “Behind The Movie” will be much in demand after this screening.
Please post your reviews below!
On the plus side, it’s also very short, at about 2.25 minutes including the obligatory Blooper reel.
We Love New York 2007-07-23 10:24:59 The promise of naked ladies is a powerful draw for the boys, so we’re off to the Museum of Modern Art as soon as the rain lets up.
We arrived in NYC Friday. Thank God we packed a soccer ball, because Bill and the boys have spent hours in the Park passing it and practicing killer tricks. In fact, Central Park has become our personal playground. There was a four mile run Saturday morning which Bill, Finn and Drew all participated in. After dinner (including grilled octopus salad, which I liked, but the boys didn’t) we wandered back over to the park and listened to Neko Case sing for a while.
Bill took the boys to a Yankees game yesterday, while Aunt Lulu and I strolled along the East River and checked out Gracie Mansion. Yo Bloomberg: the windows need scraping and painting!
After an early dinner Bill had to fly home. We all kissed and hugged and slapped knuckles on the corner of 3rd Avenue while he got a cab. The boys and I forlornly headed back home but soon pe
Now Taking Complaints 2007-07-26 15:56:35 Few things turn me into a crazed, hair-pulling shrew more quickly than having to place a call to “customer service.” I know I’m not alone here. I thought it would be therapeutic if we all shared some tales of hellacious experiences, complete with names and details. I’ll go first.
1. The Horrifying Chutzpah of CreditReport.com
or
Supervisor? What Supervisor?
(Don’t click the link or your credit card number will travel from your wallet to their site and you’ll be charged $9.95 for the rest of your life and into perpetuity!)
While trying to get a free credit report through Experian, I was abducted by aliens and redirected to the CR site. Somewhere along the way, I allegedly (and I’m a lawyer, for God’s sake, so the print, if it existed, must have been microscopic) agreed to pay $9.95 each month for credit “monitoring.”
When the charges for $9.95 showed up on my credit card bill, I emailed the company and asked how Read more:Taking
Freak Show: Boys Who Read 2007-07-30 12:57:10 I’m feeling smug because although we’ve packed bathing suits, sunscreen, bikes, tennis rackets and thousands of board games to ward off rain, my boys have realized that packing beach books is as necessary as packing underwear.
For a while Drew was stuck on the Magic Treehouse books and he steadily read through the series until he had tackled the last one. Now he’s turned his attention to Lunch Money by Andrew Clements, along with his other books, such as The Report Card and Frindle.
Honestly, I’ve spent so long restricting their TV viewing and banning video games that he could be reading Playboy and I’d be equally excited.
Meanwhile, Porter, having made his way through the silly adventures of Captain Underpants(apparently that’s where he learned that “starch is the enemy of underwear!”) is now engrossed in James and the Giant Peach and has packed Matilda and The BFG for further reading. Aunt Lulu loved the latter book so much that Read more:Freak
No Illicit Kisses, Yet 2007-08-02 09:23:35 Last year The Voice of Reason and I had to take steps to ensure there’d be no smooching among the older kids.
We thought for sure that this year’s beach trip would be the one where some of the eleven-year-olds (two male, two female) would bat their eyelashes, flex their muscles and let their lips do the rest. So far, they’re hanging out like the old friends that they are.
There’s also a seven-year old firecracker from Atlanta with her eye on Porter, but he’s having none of it.
At the moment, she’s making her first PB&J ever (her mom and sister usually make it) under Porter’s tutelage.
Porter: “That is NOT enough peanut butter. You gotta SMOTHER the bread with peanut butter.”
Firecracker: “I don’t like too much. My mom doesn’t put that much.”
Porter: “Your mom doesn’t know how to make a REAL PB&J.”
This is the trip we take with my UVa roommates each year, the outing that h Read more:Kisses
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