Owner: Desperately Seeking Sanity URL:http://www.desperatelyseekingsanity.com Join Date: Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:58:53 -0500 Rating:0 Site Description: Here's the deal... I'm insane. Plain and simple. And I do weird things, sometimes on purpose and sometimes not. I don't particularly like being this way, but it provides for entertainment for friends and family, and now the masses on the in Site statistics:Click here
Opening Day… 2008-04-26 10:00:20 Today is opening day for my daughter’s softball team. The one in which, I, by name only, am the head coach.
Well, it was supposed to be by name only. See, my assistant coach has done this for years. So he just runs with it. The problem is, he’s in South Africa and is missing OUR FIRST GAME.
Fortunately, he left me with multiple spreadsheets (I LOVE anal people) to let me know where I should bat people, how I should rotate them in the field, etc. So I have all that.
But then a whole new fear set in. Will I have the right helmets to bat 4 people at a time? I’ve never gone over what the catcher does, but yet, I have someone playing there. Do they remember that as soon as the ball is hit, they need to move?
Oh yes, dear readers, I am nervous. Petrified.
I ke Read more:Opening Day
Remote Possibilities 2008-04-26 08:05:20 While I calculate, draw, notify, and announce the winners of the week’s contests… let’s talk about the remote control situations in your home.
After reading about some of the weird things you all have in your purses (and I thank you for your honesty, because, quite frankly, I don’t feel so bad anymore) it reminded me of how remote controls just go missing.
Almost like they take up legs and walk to various places. It’s worse then the socks that get eaten in my washer and dryer because I can go without socks… but you take my remote away from me and I don’t know what to do.
One of the guys I dated used to flip out when the remote was not on the table next to the couch. And when I say flip out, I mean he flipped out.
The worst time was when he just Read more:Remote
, Possibilities
I can’t believe I missed it…. 2008-04-25 13:48:43 You know how you feel when you look at the calendar and realize that you missed the birthday of someone who is very important to you?
You know how you then have to think up a really great excuse as to why you didn’t even have the decency to call and personally wish them a happy birthday, or send an email, or something to acknowledge their special day?
And then you know how you rush out to the store to buy a really funny, sorry I missed your birthday card, and sometimes purchase an even bigger gift than you were planning to get them to compensate for the fact that you’re a putz and forgot their special day?
So I’m wondering how I’m going to make it up to Donnie, Danny, Joe, Jordan and John since I completely missed New Kids on the Block Day….which was yesterday Read more:believe
The last of the winners… 2008-04-28 10:48:10 First the $25 super certificate…
Congrats to Becki who is the winner of the $25 Super Certificate from GiftCertificates.com
Go spend some money on yourself…
Now… for this big one…
Do you know that if I could, I would install a new blog for each and every single one of you? Some of you just pulled at my heartstings with why you needed this… and oh how I would love for all of you to be able to have your own blog on wordpress…
But sadly, there can only be one.
And it’s Boomeyers…
However, because there was such a demand, I went ahead and put together some packages in case some of you would like to actually get a Wordpress blog…. and made it affordable. So that you can have comeplete control but not have to take out a second mor
Blog Pick of the Week…Shane Shares 2008-04-28 10:15:23 In going through my blog roll and looking at who I wanted to talk about this week, it was obvious… and only because I can’t believe that I’ve never blogged about this before.
Shane
Shares is a blog I stumbled upon during the Ultimate Blog Party two years ago. I continued to read about her family and her life, as well as her ADHD blog while they were living in South Carolina…
And then, one day, I read that they are looking to move… closer to family in West Virginia.
And then… her hubby got a job in Roanoke… right here by me…
and then? We started emailing and guess what?
Our kids go to the same school. She moved just a mile away from me.
And then I became her stalker when her kids enrolled in Upward. Her boys played at my church and I s
Clean Up in Aisle 10… 2008-04-28 07:27:48 In my 11+ years of mothering my children I have made many grocery store trips. I have had my ankles run over by my children who wish to push the cart and SWEAR they won’t hit anything with it.
I’ve shushed them way too many times because they were being too loud in the store or were arguing.
I’ve calmed crying babies.
I’ve said no to all the sugary cereals (ok, well not ALL of them.)
I’ve allowed them to help pick out fruit and showed them where to find the “clearance” foods.
I’ve pretty much done it all…
except…
…causing a store employee to pipe over the loud speaker that some retard spilled something all over the place.
that is, until Friday night.
And the worst part about it?
I was that retard who caused the spill that Read more:Clean
What makes me a winner? 2008-04-27 13:56:25 I would like to report that I came home victorious yesterday, having just logged my first win of the season.
I did not.
I would like to say everything ran like clockwork.
It did not.
I would like to say that I appeared to know what I was doing on that field full of 22 girls and many parents, friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, babysitters, and coaches.
I did not.
But you know what?
I don’t care.
Because I did it. I learned some things. I learned alot of things.
Like…
make sure you make all your girls go to the bathroom before the game begins.
And don’t assume that because your game is scheduled for 3:30 that you will actually get on the field at 3:30.
Additionally, don’t make plans for seven assuming that your game will start at 3:30.
Make sure your daughter te Read more:makes
, winner
We have a few winners…. 2008-04-27 07:59:30 This was fun! Seriously!
Last night a few of my giveaways ended and the others end tonight, so there’s still time…
The winners of the sling purses are:
EMama of Righter’s Writings
and
Melanie from One La Costa Mom
Congrats to you both, I’ll be contacting you for your address and shipping them out sans anything weird in there…
******************
And, I must tell you… do you know how excited I was to see 57 people step up to say they would be excited to win something with NKOTB on it? Seriously… it made me smile. Because they rock! (And so do you for being a fan.) However, I can only give the CD to one person, even though I would love to give it to all of you, but then I would be poor. And I can’t be poor. I can’t.
So
The picture of a Mother 2008-04-29 15:28:20
This picture is one of my favorites of my mother.
It’s not digitially enhanced… neither is she.
It’s not fake… neither is she.
It’s a little off…so is she
It is filled with smiles… so is she.
It’s filled with happiness…so is she.
But most importantly, it’s filled with love… and so is she.
***
5 Minutes for Mom wants to know what picture represents motherhood to you. You can find all the details here.
Until next time…
What happens when i’m feeling generous… 2008-04-29 13:09:56 Now, I don’t know if you’re like me but when I hear a friend say, “I’m moving!” I secretly pray hard that whatever weekend they chose to move will be one in which I have a previous engagement that I can’t get out of. Period.
Isn’t that horrible?
It is, isn’t it.
It’s really horrible if you knew how many times my friends and family have moved me.
But, I did somewhat redeem myself this week when I helped Soliloquy (I think I’ve finally learned to spell this right) move for the third time in just a short amount of time.
Um, can we say commitment issues?
Actually, she had this horrible Mother Breach and moved and then didn’t like her new digs, and entered 5,000 giveaways with these horrible sob stories about how she needed help, Read more:generous
Law & Order: Cranky Child Unit 2008-04-29 05:41:09 In Roanoke, Virginia’s war on good parenting, the worst crankiest criminal offenders kids are pursued by the detectives of the Mom Squad. These are their stories.
dum dum
Monday, April 28, 2008
3:34pm
Jacobson Residence
Me: Samara, I’m moving your bedtime back 30 minutes.
Samara: Why?
Me: Because on at least 3 occasions in the last week you’ve fallen alseep after school which, to me, means you’re not getting enough sleep at night.
Samara: I DID NOT!
Me: Yes, you did.
Samara: I think you’re wrong.
Me: Oh yeah? Well, look here…
and then I proceed to show her
exhibit A - Thursday
Exhibit B - Friday
Exhibit C - Monday
Case closed
Until next time…
Read more:Order
Mother of the MVP 2008-04-30 19:52:52 Although we got spanked big time on Saturday, and our game Monday was washed out, we did better tonight… MUCH better… like 11-3 better.
My girls ROCKED those A’s (although they turned a couple of really good plays…)
So that made me happy. I was much more together tonight. I knew what I needed to have. I had enough copies of everything and my assistant coach was back to keep the score book (PTL!!)
However, the neatest part of the night was when Samara was awarded the Player of the Game award (good for a free pretzel from the mall) for 2 hits, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, and 2 outs. Rock on Sam!!!
Until next time…
Just playing around… 2008-04-30 10:21:51 with a new plugin, so you can ignore this…
really, you don’t have to keep reading…
but if you’re really bored and want to waste time, go read the rest of my stuff
it’s much funnier than this…
I’m thinking about Atlantic City… 2008-04-30 05:49:45 Oh, dear ones… when my mind starts to ponder things, it’s scary.
(Oh and Soliloquy, you can stop reading now, because you won’t “get it” — ha ha)
Tonight an email came through announcing the tour dates for guess who?
NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!!!
And we all know that I should go. Really, I think I should get a personal invite from their peeps with VIP access for all this promotion I do for them, but I digress.
There are seven locations starting in September and the first? Montreal.
CANADA.
Now, no offense to you Canucks, because I have many friends that are in the country that lies on our nothern border, but what do you have that we don’t?
Ok, besides cheaper medicine.
And besides no lottery tax.
And a year maternity leave.
These are great perks, re Read more:thinking
Boundaries 2008-05-01 11:55:53 When I started my blog, I instated a few personal boundaries primarily because this is the internet. But those boundaries were simply that I would be me, but that I would never post anything that could potentially hurt feelings, be an embarrassment (outside of the normal fun) to anyone, or anything that would jeapordize relationships with people who I am involved with both personally and professionally.
I don’t have a fake name. I don’t have cutesy nicknames for my children. We’re an open book and I like that because it’s authentic. It’s real. I’m real. So is my life. So are my feelings, thoughts and emotions.
And I proudly share them with you.
Not just the good ones either… I’ve shared the bad as well, but never those that woul Read more:Boundaries
The Joy Comes With the Morning 2008-04-30 23:52:02 Sometimes, no, alot of times, I feel like I don’t do anything right. Sometimes I am just too hard on myself and at other times it’s because of actions or words of other people. This week? I’ve been attacked every which way but Sunday and if I didn’t immidately turn these thoughts over to the Big Man, I’m not sure how I would be right now.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve not been Miss Susie Sunshine all week… just ask my children. But I’ve not dwelled on it either. I’ve simply stopped, prayed, and moved on.
But tonight, I needed a little encouragement in the Biblical nature. I know what my friends tell me. I know what my loved ones tell me. But I needed to hear it from a higher source.
I needed to know that at some Read more:Morning
Brought to you by the letter M… 2008-05-02 15:34:36 Another one of my boundaries (and they are boundaries, really, not rules) is that I don’t typically blog about dating… and that’s because I like to have people’s permission to embarrass the crap out of them talk about them on this little blog o’ mine.
Actually, I don’t know why I don’t blog about dating, because it would be comical, I can assure you. Either that or show you how insanely immature that I am when it comes to boys. (See, I don’t even call them men. I still call them boys.)
It’s probably because I know all of you out there would want to live vicariously through me and you would get all excited for me when I said I had a date, and then ask me how it went, and when I told you that he just wasn’t the kind of guy that I
Where Do I Live? 2008-05-02 07:29:43 In a house…
on a street…
right here in the Star City of the South as it is affectionately known.
Why, yes… of course I’m talking about Roanoke, VA.
Heard of it before?
Most people haven’t. It’s tucked away in the Blue Ridge Mountains, along the Blue Ridge Parkway… and the Appalachian Trail? You’ve heard of all of these haven’t you?
Ever order from Home Shopping Network? Elizabeth Arden? Orvis? The Company Store? Domestications? There’s a likelihood that you’re either placing your order here in Roanoke OR that you package comes from here.
I have to admit…this was not on my list of places to live. EVER. growing up. I’m a city girl. I thrive on the hustle and bustle, the sights and sounds… and the FOOD
Preparing for a new chapter… 2008-05-02 06:31:44 Perhaps I’ve mentioned this. My son will be leaving the elementary school in 6 short weeks.
SIX WEEKS!
In six weeks I’ll be the mother of a middle school child. A Tween. He’ll be moving up into the youth group. With me.
Six weeks.
I’m not old enough to be the mother to a middle school child. I’m just not.
Nor am I particularly looking forward to having two children in two different schools with two sets of schedules and lunch menus and the like.
I think my life’s going to get a whole lot more complicated.
And Matthew?
Prior to yesterday he was handling this pretty well. But when I got the note about the graduation planning meeting his face dropped.
I thought the kid would be excited about moving up…he has been all year and it’s
The Love of the game… 2008-05-03 16:35:03 I am a HUGE fan of sports, but I much prefer playing over watching. The reason is simple, really, and it had everything to do with my inability to sit still. Ok, and it might have something to do with how I think I know it all and could do it better than those, you know, actually playing.
Hey, I’m just keeping it real.
The first year that Samara cheered, I ended up being a helper. I couldn’t stand just sitting there at practices and while I know that I am not a cheerleader, I could do enough to help the girls with their candlesticks, high and low v’s and all those other moves that have the weirdest names.
Then last year, I ended up as the assistant coach and it was fun. But I never had to sit still. I was in the stands getting the parents motivated, doing the cheers
Why multi-tasking is hazardous to your daughter’s grades… 2008-05-05 15:19:31 I’m sitting here trying to find a recipe for dinner, help my daughter with her math homework, make my line up and fielding rotation, in addition to, you know? My job?
Samara just came and asked me to check her homework and I see this.
7. Explain how you know that 3,500 and 3,050 do not name the same number.
and her best handwriting it is written: oh no oh no i lost my segul
So I ask, “Sam, what does a seagull have to do with those numbers?”
She replies with, “No that says schedule.
I’m totally baffled. “Sam, what does losing your schedule have to do with those two numbers?”
Throwing her hands in the air, she says, “I don’t know. When I asked you what the differece was you said ‘oh no oh no, I lost my schedule.”
Perha Read more:grades
How much are your comments worth? 2008-05-05 11:00:49 Occasionally, I’ll tell you all to leave me comments. Sometimes I feel like I’m asking you, no begging for you to tell me that I’m wonderful, and it’s not really what I’m looking for, but I know you’re there, I know you’re reading… Google and Feedburner don’t lie. They don’t.
And sometimes I feel like I’m talking to myself. And somedays? It sucks.
But how do you say that without wanting to appear selfish?
And then Beth? Instead of folding laundry? She wrote this.
Go read it, comment, and then come right back here.
I’ll wait.
Wasn’t that spot on? Wasn’t it?
You know it was. You know, that if you’re a blogger, you feel the exact same way.
I don’t have this blog to make money. And
Blog Pick of the Week: Melz World 2008-05-05 07:17:32 If there is one blogger in the blogosphere who had been with me through thick and thin and ALWAYS comments giving me kudos, words of wisdom, or just an “i hear ya sista” it would be Mel from Melz World
. And if I were to put a little widget in my sidebar that listed the top commenter, she would be at the top.
She just would.
Because she such a blessing like that.
A “mild mannered reporter by day” in a small town in Mississippi, Mel takes me through her life, one day at a time. With issues that we can all relate to in attempting to lose weight, a child who isn’t always the reflection of well behaved, to what happens when your church home isn’t there anymore, Mel explains it all, honestly through her blog and is one of the most authentic bloggers I know
On trying to be someone you’re not… 2008-05-04 22:38:42 I went out last night.
I got a wild hair to just go out, let my hair down, and have a little fun. I enlisted the company of two friends that I trust completely. Friends that I know wouldn’t let me do anything stupid. And we made plans to meet up with old friend a little later in the evening. I was so excited!
It’s been awhile since I was on the downtown scene, but it’s not like I don’t know how to prepare for a night out of dancing. You get all dolled up and you look your best. You take longer to prepare than say if you were running to the grocery store.
And that’s what I did.
I tried on every shirt that I own to find one that was attractive but not too trashy, because you know, I’m not trashy.
I had one shirt that was overly flattering on me
If you do this, then I’ll do that… 2008-05-06 20:55:05 The Bible clearly states that we are supposed to love our neighbors as ourselves. And we all know that we need to replace that word neighbor with other people, not just those that live right next door.
The Bible does not say that we’re supposed to love our neighbor only when they do what we want them to. It just doesn’t.
So why do we live in a world that is so conditional?
Know what else the Bible says?
It says that whatever you do to others, you do to Jesus.
Now stop and think about that for just a second. Think of the last time someone hurt you and then think about them doing that to Jesus.
And when it happens to me? Like when someone totally screws me over I just want to look at them and say, “Dude. Do you know that you just pissed Jesus off?”
And then
So I guess you want answers… 2008-05-08 07:13:24 I’ll break this up over the week, so if you haven’t already asked a question or you’d like me to elaborate on something, please let me know…. because I’m all about talking about myself. Really. I am.
So let’s begin, shall we?
Annabelle asks:
I read in the 100 things about me that you’ve written 3 ebooks…what are they about? What are their titles?
And so, I’ll let you know a little bit more about the business side of Heather. There’s multiple sides ya know. Some might call my Cybil, except I’m not crazy. Well, I am, but not like that. Then again, maybe I am… I’ve never seen the movie and the only Cybil I really know about is Cybil Shepard, you know from Moonlighting? Hey… did you know that’s coming bac Read more:answers
And if Tom Cruise talked about something you made? 2008-05-07 20:26:48 You would be jumping for joy, wouldn’t you?
Yes, you would… even if you didn’t like him… or Oprah where he talked about what you made.
And you know what? That’s just what happened to Katja, a mom and owner of Skimbaco when Tom Cruise
declared on national television that Suri Cruise loved her ladybug shoes the most.
Aren’t they the cutest? It so makes me wish Samara was little again…
Can you imagine?
As a business owner, I would love that sort of publicity for my business, because I know what it takes to get a business going, and growing with the influx of online retailers on the net!
So take a minute and pop over and congratulate Katja on her “appearance” on the Oprah show and read the rest of the story.
WTG Katja!
Answers to your que Read more:something
, Tom Cruise
Step right up, ask a question, win a prize… 2008-05-07 13:13:12 No seriously, ask away.
I’ve always wanted to do this but feared that only one person would ask me a question…and not that it would REALLY bother me, because I would post that one question with an answer and thank that one person profusely for asking it and caring about me… but still…
But it just looks like so much fun and I love to be interviewed and well, I’m out of fodder… well, I’m not out of fodder, but I really don’t want to bore you with yet another softball post, and the other thoughts are so jumbled in my head that I can’t seem to get them out.
And to sweeten the deal, I’ll randomly selected a comment and they’ll win a little token. Don’t ask me what it is yet, because I don’t know… but it will b Read more:prize
You know you make me wanna shout! 2008-05-07 08:15:04 I got nuttin’ today.
Well, I do, but just not in that oh-so-creative-let’s-make-people-laugh-today mood, but I do have some things that I need to share with you…
You’re going to do a lot of clicking, so get ready.
First… Today?
Not only is is May 7th, it’s Lisa B.’s birthday. My dear, dear, introduced me to Jesus friend and so, if you would, please hop on over and wish her a happy birthday. Please? You can do so here or here or even here.
And speaking of birthdays, another one of my bloggy BFFs is celebrating, although it may or may not be today. But it’s this week. So I’m in the ball park and all, and really?
I got thrust into this whole BFF category quite unexpectedly so I didn’t have time to get the details. But I guess w Read more:wanna
, shout
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