Owner: Snarky Momma URL:http://www.snarkymomma.com Join Date: Sun, 25 Feb 2007 14:45:42 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Snarky Momma is a blog written by and for the mom who doesn't have it all together. Our hair isn't combed, our pajamas don't match, and our babies are usually dirty. The Snarky Momma doesn't feel guilty that her baby has been wearing the same onesie for t Site statistics:Click here
Just tidying up a bit. 2007-02-25 09:33:00 {summary}Sorry if you happen to stop by and I'm in the middle of a tinker session. It took me several months to get my other blog's layout and text sizes to where I wanted them. It's not that I'm incompetent at CSS tinkering, however the problem with using a template (which I did to save time) and then jacking it up by cutting and pasting snippets of code from other style sheets is that the naming conventions are different and sometimes stuff doesn't match. You have to go through the code with a fine-toothed comb to figure out which tags are for which font and so on.
A couple of times I've actually LOST my entire index page and had to throw it back up from the last version. If the page goes down while you're commenting or refreshing, that's why. I apologize in advance.
While I'm on the topic, is this font size okay? I'm sure you know the keyboard shortcuts to make it larger if you need to, but as a default you don't need to pull out your drugstore readin
Gold star! 2007-02-25 09:07:00 {summary}Have I talked about how much I love my new breast pump? So fucking awesome. Coming from someone who didn't know if she'd be breastfeeding or not (and certainly not longer term as is my intention now), that's a huge compliment.
I was up until this past week using a manual hand pump for the purpose of expressing enough milk to have a bottle ready so that when Scott got home he could feed the kid and I could have time to make dinner. Rarely could I express enough milk for that purpose and to have extra milk to freeze for future use (having the flu, etc.). With my new Pump in Style I've been able to pump about twice the amount of milk - about 15 oz/day. There is a more pricey model manufactured by Medela (the PIS Advanced) that comes in a spiffy napsack, has a "let down" mode, and a couple more accessories, but this one serves my purposes just fine. It has two knobs - one to control suction, and one to control speed. I start off on high speed and high suction
Worse than cookies in bed 2007-02-24 01:04:01 {summary}Okay, since the birth of the kid I've been getting pretty bad about hoarding projects and little nick-nacks on my nightstand. As you'll see, the nightstand isn't all that big. It's simply a little wood table designed to hold a lamp and maybe your denture cup (should you have one).
I've always got to have a heap of stuff around the bed to entertain myself on the off chance that sleeping isn't enjoyable enough. It's on my list of things to do to get this cleaned up this weekend. I swear.
1. Your Baby's First Year: Week by Week
2. Baby sweater pattern (see sidebar)
3. March's American Baby
4. Good Night Sleep Tight
5. What to Expect the First Year
6. Financial management text
7. A shrug I've been knitting since February 2006
8. Infantino froggie toy
9. Burpcatcher. See my upcoming review on 3/1 or check out any of the other PBN reviews that preceed it.
10. Universal remote. Of course!
The True Nature of Being a Stay-at-Home Parent 2007-02-23 04:46:00 {summary}It's a full-time job. Don't let anyone fucking tell you it isn't. God, I'm exhausted. This is the kind of exhaustion that creeps up on you because you've been sleeping in short bursts instead of in 8.25 hour blocks like most adults should. My second wind occured weeks ago - now I've hit the wall and am sliding down it with all the grace of a cartoon character.
Sometimes I want to just close my eyes for a minute, but can't because there's so much crap to do. I've got a cat that won't stop springing leaks on my floors, a baby who doesn't want to nap today, laundry that's piling up and becoming smelly, and the social life of a hermit crab (as much as I keep to myself, occasional human interaction with people who know actual English words seems pretty luxurious at times - I've stooped so low I've almost considered inviting my mother over since I don't give a damn if she can tell I haven't bathed in a few days).
I don't know what happened. Read more:Parent
More Vintage Tiffany and Points for Preggers 2007-02-21 22:09:01 {summary}
Annoyed. Posing in front of sphinx at Hard Rock Cafe Myrtle Beach - 4 1/2 months pregnant
Scott and I actually took two vacations withing the span of a few weeks last summer as we anticipated the birth of our child. We had a long weekend at Myrtle Beach, and then went to Clearwater Beach, FL several weeks later to get the travel bugs out of our systems.
I'm going to state something perfectly obvious now: when pregnant and travelling, consider the protrusion of your belly in every situation that involves sitting down. Seriously.
Scott is the typical male and is uncomfortable with having his back turned to doors and against people walking behind him, so he always has to sit in a booth. The problem with booths is that the distance between the table and the seat is built for the comfort of eating - not the comfort of your pregnant belly. You can either suck it up and keep bumping baby against the edge of the table as you eat, as I did, or not sit in a booth so that Read more:Points
, Tiffany
, Vintage
Hell-bound 2007-02-21 21:28:01 {summary}Yesterday, I allowed my three-month-old to lick my banana.
I'll wait while you gather rotten tomatoes and watermelon rind shards to throw at me seeing as "The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies be breastfed exclusively for at least six months" and all.
Not only did he lick my banana, but he tried to gum off a piece of it. If he had actually succeeded in breaking off a chunk, I would have let him keep it (within reason, anyway).
I suppose that makes me "bad mommy"
Careless. 2007-02-21 04:36:01 {summary}
Rosco has been pretty spitty lately, which doesn't concern me particuarly much because, as his cute plumpness exemplifies, doesn't mean he's starving.
Sometimes he misses his bib altogether and splatters my pants. Generally speaking, I'll change those pants immediately and replace them with a pair of clean pajama bottoms (or at least dry dirty ones).
Well, shit out of luck today. The electrician was coming over this morning, so wearing holey pajama pants that are thin enough to reveal visible panty line was out of the question. I put on my sort-of clean cargo pants. Kablowie. Milk explosion courtesy of Rosco's overfilled stomach.
I didn't even bother to change the pants because ALL of my other non-maternity pants that are presentable enough to wear in mixed company ARE IN THE LAUNDRY. I dabbed the spots with a baby wipe so they wouldn't stink, and when the electrician came in the spots were still wet.
And I didn't even care. Read more:Careless
Preggers? Don't make this mistake. 2007-02-20 02:58:01 {summary}Here's some pre-Snarky Tiffany for your viewing pleasure:
.
(Click to enlarge)
This was taken last July at Disney Animal Kingdom as I was waiting for the 4 pm parade to start. I was about 5 months pregnant at the time - large enough to look fat, but not big enough to raise any red flags when wearing a baggy shirt. No, I was NOT the only pregnant woman at the theme park that day. There were some women there far more gravid than myself who looked equally uncomfortable.
What strikes me about that picture is how white my legs look compared to my upper body. There we were walking around in 103 degree heat and my legs looked like uncooked chicken. This was also one of the last few times I was able to wear my wedding band. After a while my hands got so swollen I just took the damned thing off. I only put it back on for job interviews and visits to places where there would be old women eager to tsk-tsk my apparent unmarried situation.
Yes, I am wearing a Nike shirt w
Sexy beast. 2007-02-19 22:39:00 {summary}Kristen of Motherhood Uncensored had an interesting discussion going on her most recent podcast about MILFs. If you're unfamiliar with what a "MILF" is, I suggest you minimze this window and navigate to Google immediately to research it.
I think it's an interesting enough topic for me to bounce around, although I have to state upfront that I'm sort of ambivalent over whether I would consider it a compliment to be called one.
I'm not breaking any records for sexy right now, that's for sure. At three months post-partum, I can fit into my size *cough cough* pants again, but I have to admit that my most redeeming features now reside several inches lower than they started out several months ago. Where I was firm, my skin is now doughy and loose. When I walk, stuff jiggles like Jell-O even after I've stopped moving. I've taken on a very stick-in-the-ass stride as of late which is as a result of clenching everything that can be clenched for the sake of appe
Whew! 2007-02-16 01:37:02 {summary}Rosco slept through my phone interview, which turned out to be about half an hour long.
I put on my higher-pitched "nice Tiffany" voice, and did my verbal eyelash batting. Now I can let my gravelly, snarky voice back out. Growl, baby.
I even washed my face! 2007-02-26 23:48:01 {summary}You know, you don't need to be too fashionable to take your kid for a walk, especially when you live in my neighborood. While I'm sure the people who are home look occasionally out their windows to investigate squirrels rustling leaves in their yards or barking dogs passing by, they don't exactly throw the doors open to strike up conversation when you're obviously trying to have a peaceful few minutes with your kid. The road around the neighborhood is virtually deserted during the day with everyone being off at work so before lunch it's nice to get out and investigate what's in bloom and what people are doing in their yards.
I could probably go out wearing pajama bottoms and a holey old marching band tee-shirt and nobody'd ever see it, but I have a pretty profound fear of people being able to see my underwear through my pants. I don't take any chances. Here I'm wearing an oversized Mickey's Diner shirt Scott bought me when he 0was up in St. Paul, so
Possession is 9/10ths… 2007-02-27 23:13:00 {summary}In the blink of an eye, Rosco has gone from the "swat" phase of development where his limited muscle control could only allow him to make darting attempts at grabbing things to the "clutch of death" phase. Not only can he control his hands to the degree that he can hold things (those that he wants to hold, anyway), but he grabs like a vise grip. See evidence below.
Clamping a fist around his bottle neck. He seems to believe that I would snatch it away from him before it's empty.
Grabbing a fist-full of my hair (and pulling it), and scratching the hell out of my jaw. Thankfully I don't wear my glasses as much as I should, so he hasn't yet had the opportunity to rip them off my face.
What's next? Drop-kicking? He's already developed the weird little habit of trying to wrap his leg around my arm when he's nursing. Read more:Possession
I’ll deal with the guilt later. 2007-03-01 02:55:00 {summary}Every now and again, even moms who are quite content at sitting at home attired like bagladies itch to go out. Read more:guilt
, later
Sling Slung 2007-03-04 20:50:00 {summary}Rosco has porkchop thighs like his momma (it’s actually the source of our snark), so in the past couple of weeks I’ve been finding that his Infantino CozyRider has become increasingly difficult to use. Although the specs say it’s for babies up to 20 pounds, what they really mean is babies up to 20 pounds with little pencil legs.
Because he went from chicken nugget to full-sized roaster in a matter of weeks, he actually hasn’t spent that much time in his carrier. When he couldn’t control his head and had to be turned in facing me he would scream his head off. It wasn’t until he was old enough to face outward that he was content to be carried around in it, and by then he’d become too plump. It takes several minutes to get him into it or out of it. It’s a basic model that doesn’t have the fancy doodads to release him from the side, so I have to pick him up over my head to get him up high Read more:Sling
“Here baby, there momma - everywhere daddy, daddy, HAAAAAIIIIIR!” 2007-03-05 19:20:00 {summary}When Rosco was being delivered, one of the first pieces of information that was announced about him was that he had a &ldquo
;head full of black hair.&rdquo
;
I remember lying there in my miserable state trying to push through the fucking ring of fire (which you can feel through the epidural, by the way) and thinking “Why does my child have hair? And why is it black?” See, hair was pretty scant on my own head until...well, let’s just say my current thick scalp of carpet didn’t get that way until puberty. I assumed that the baby’s hair would be brown or some varience thereof. Scott was born blond, so I thought it might be fun to see red. We got black.
Weird as it was, I got used to Rosco’s wild cowlicks and silky baby hair. I was genuinely saddened when it started shedding. Over the past two months it has been slowly but surely falling out. His extremely crusty case of cradle cap aggravated the sit Read more:everywhere
Snarky Momma recommends PediaCast 2007-03-06 23:07:02 {summary}I thought I’d share a great pediatric podcast I’ve been listening to lately. I found PediaCast a few weeks ago in the iTunes directory and thought I’d preview it to see if the content was at all informative. I was pleasantly surprised that Dr. Mike is both likeable and smart enough to avoid politics. I’ve listened to most of the archives while walking the neighborhood with Rosco and have gotten some really good information from the infant segments on such things as immunizations, poop, allergies, etc.
So, check it out. The most recent listener question show is particularly good. Read more:Momma
, Snarky
I’m a big kid now. 2007-03-06 20:29:00 {summary}Rosco went to the pediatrician for his 4-month check-up, round of vaccines, and baby group yesterday.
The good news: I’m not crazy. The reason the kid seems so heavy is because he is. I had guesstimated his weight at fifteen pounds by standing on the scale while holding him, weighing myself without him, and finding the difference. Well, he doesn’t weigh fifteen pounds. He weighs sixteen. He’s measuring about 25 3/4” long...so, he’s around the 90th percentile for both height and weight. If he keeps this up, he’ll be playing for the Hornets Bobcats right out of high school (that is if he hasn’t inherited my complete lack of hand-eye coordination). You should take it as a pretty good indicator that your child is a bit more corn-fed than the normal baby by the pediatrician’s comment upon entering the exam room: “Is it just me, or does he look really long?”
Our pediatrician con
Out in clumps 2007-03-07 22:02:00 {summary}I’ve spoken/typed about this on my other blog in great detail, but since it’s become a “mommy issue,” I’m going to spew about it here some, too.
I’m this close --> || to giving myself a long buzz cut. A few weeks ago, it was because I’m sick of how much maintenance I have to do with having hair as thick as mine. While it only takes a few seconds to style (gob in a palmful of conditioner in the shower, leave it in, and towel off any dripping water), by the next day it’s flat and lifeless and I can’t recycle the previous day’s body. I don’t relax or straighten it because it’s a pain in the ass. I guess if I were to stretch a curl out, my hair would come down to my shoulder blades. I’ve been growing it out for about five years for no particular reason. At this length, the curls tangle together at the ends and I sometimes have to cut them out. Alternating condi
“FDA advisers back 5-in-1 childhood vaccine” 2007-03-09 07:26:01 {summary}&ldquo
;A five-in-one vaccine
that could reduce the number of jabs children receive is both safe and effective, federal health advisers said Thursday.
...
The vaccine is meant to prevent diphtheria, tetanus, whooping cough, polio and bacterial infection caused by Haemophilus influenzae type b, or Hib. Hib disease can cause meningitis, pneumonia and arthritis.&rdquo
;
That’s fucking awesome. Assuming Scott tolerates me long enough for a second spawning, this new vaccine will make my mommy life a little easier. Just this past Monday, Rosco got pricked three times in his chunky thighs for Pediarix (which contains DTP, Polio, and Hep B vaccines), HIB, and PCV7. That would have been one less shot for me to have to watch my little angel endure.
A Little PSA 2007-03-09 07:14:00 {summary}Here’s a little PSA from my good friends at TAP Pharmaceuticals. I suffered from endometriosis for a long time before I found a doctor who believed that it wasn’t all in my head and could diagnose it. I don’t want anyone to go through the pain I had to go through every month. Endometriosis could have compromised my fertility. For as long as I had symptoms of it and as badly as I felt because of it, it could have been wrecking my body and I would never have known.
Join the effort this March in helping educate women about endometriosis and encouraging those who may be living with the pain and discomfort to talk openly with their doctors. Helping women have honest, informed discussions with their doctors about the symptoms of endometriosis can be the beginning of a dialogue that may eventually lead to finding a treatment option that’s right for their individual needs.
...Endometriosis is one of the most common gynecological disea
Qapla’! 2007-03-12 01:43:00 {summary}Tee hee hee hee hee!
Hee hee!
Tee hee hee!
I TOTALLY decided last Wednesday that Rosco needed a little shirt that says ”Qapla’!” (Klingon for “success”.)
Yeah, while that shirt is a little too boobaliciousy for a baby (IMO), I’m glad to know the product exists. (By the way, I’m guessing the Klingon chick is Duras’ sister B’Etor, although it could be any random Klingon ho.)
I’m going to keep searching until I find him a shirt with Picard saying “Make it so, number one.” The next step would be convincing Scott to buy it for the kid instead of the Star Wars baby tee he’s been diligently searching for for the past six months. Keep looking, because I win!
Incidentally, THAT is some crazy shit.
Why we don’t discuss Snarky Grandmomma much. 2007-03-11 05:40:01 {summary}Our t.v. room is being painted and we called in a professional this time rather than muck it up ourselves. If you’ve ever tried sanding a ceilng then you’d understand where the literal expression “pain in the neck” should be applied.
I didn’t want to be present when the house was being filled with dust and paint stripper fumes, so I packed up my young’un and drove to my grandma’s house in Southeastern Virginia. She lives about three hours from me and with my mother. Three hours is just long enough to discourage surprise visits from my mother, but much too far for my very-elderly grandmother to do interstate driving on (she shouldn’t be driving at all, but as long as the state of NC keeps renewing her license, I ain’t saying shit).
Wait, I just remembered something. Let me ask you a question - what time does McDonald’s stop serving breakfast? 10:30, right? Okay, riddle me this - Read more:discuss
, Snarky
Trifling. 2007-03-13 22:00:01 {summary}Damn bunch of so-and-sos. I guess the garbage men sanitation professionals have a one-touch rule: after the can gets taken off the lift and set back down on the curb, what it does is its own business. Even if it falls into the ditch because they pushed it too far back, they leave it there. Thankfully, the torrential spring rains haven’t started yet so there isn’t any standing water out front.
My back is killing me. I think Rosco had a mini-growth spurt over the past couple of days and I seem to have thrown a few pegs out of alignment while picking him up out of his crib. When I saw that trashcan in the ditch, you can only imagine my pisstivity. I could wait for Scott to pick it up when he gets home, but in subdivisions, leaving your trash can all jacked up is sort of the social equivalent of parking a car on blocks in your front lawn. So, I went out and shoved it back down the driveway.
Fuckers. Next week when the
Dude, hurry up. 2007-03-13 20:13:01 {summary}Damn it, I want my kitchen back. The painter has been working since Friday on our t.v. room and as of today is putting the finishing touches on the trim, doors, and so on. Because Scott has so much shit ("memorabilia") that is normally stacked in that room, it’s now all piled up in the breakfast nook. I made him push it out of the kitchen because the cats were using the crates as stepping stools to get up on the counters. While I know my house isn’t the cleanest place in the world, I at least want to know my counters are sanitary. The idea of cat hair in baby bottles makes me want to shudder.
I’m so hungry. On any other day, I could go into the kitchen and stuff my face at will regardless of the fact that I’m not dressed for public sight. As the kitchen is directly adjacent to the room he’s in, I’m not spending a whole lot of time in there. Good for my diet, bad for my mood. I miss my m
“Ooh, are those new bird feeders?” 2007-03-15 00:56:00 {summary}
Can you see that? (Click to enlarge)
When I took Rosco out for his walk this morning, I noticed something strange in a neighbor’s bushes: newspapers, still in their plastic. At first, I thought maybe it was only the plastic, but after closer examination could see that they were the actual newspapers.
So, my question is how the hell did they get there? I know the paper delivery person can sometimes get a little bit sloppy, but usually they’re pretty good about avoiding ditches or hitting the wrong driveway.
This looks like a neighborhood kid’s prank to me.
Next question is how long have they been there? Because if they’ve been there a couple of days and they’ve seen them without taking them down, that’s trifling. (See previous post titled &ldquo
;trifling&rdquo
; for more details of this phenomenon.) Read more:feeders
Things that need to be done today during Rosco naps: 2007-03-14 20:45:00 {summary}1. Do enough laundry that the pile is shorter than me. I am out of clean nursing pads, and nursing bras that haven’t formed a crust. Must wash those first.
2. Shower. (I’m really at situation critical on that. It HAS to be done today. Hopefully, the kid’ll sleep for long enough for me to peel these spitty clothes off and jump in...that is, if there’s enough hot water left after washing all those damn clothes and dishes.) done. Teeth brushed, too.
3. Clean up catastrophic mess in kitchen and t.v. room following exit of painter.
4. Get back outside and walking. (The aching back has been a preventative of me strapping Rosco
on and getting out there.) done, and met a new neighbor.
5. Watch disc 6 of Lost Season 1 and get it back into the mailbox to Netflix before it collects an inch of dust on my desk.
6. Take country ham out of freezer to defrost in time for a fairly-decent Sunday dinner.
7. Sort and organize m
Speculating. 2007-03-17 01:58:00 {summary}The house two doors down from us is up for sale. No, we’re not going to buy it, although if we were in a position to go ahead and put our house on the market it would be ideal to stay in the same neighborhood and move our crap down the street using wheelbarrows and car trunks. Because I’m arm’s-length from the buying process, I can objectively say that even though the house is pretty nice, it’s not for us. (If it were perfect, I don’t know what we’d do.)
Being the nosey-bodies that we are, we of course looked up the online listing to see how large the house is, how much the asking price is, and how much work it needs. I consider it good practice for our next house hunt. If we know exactly what we need in a house before we go looking for them, we won’t end up making offers on homes that are “almost” what we want.
The house down the street has some good things going for it - it has an office Read more:Speculating
Why Duke Sucks 2007-03-17 01:20:00 {summary}Okay, this has nothing to do with Mommadom other than the fact that someday Rosco will be a Tar Heel and has hopefully inherited my Dookie revulsion (and I got accepted for admission to Duke, so don’t go there).
This video, found at With Leather, is so funny it made my eyes water. It’s funny because it’s true.
You know you haven’t slept enough when: 2007-03-18 18:36:00 {summary}you try to put the boiling hot tea kettle into the refrigerator and put your fresh-pumped bottle of bresh milk on the stove.
Why did I decide to get up again? Oh yes, the craving for sausage. Read more:slept
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