Owner: Snarky Momma URL:http://www.snarkymomma.com Join Date: Sun, 25 Feb 2007 14:45:42 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Snarky Momma is a blog written by and for the mom who doesn't have it all together. Our hair isn't combed, our pajamas don't match, and our babies are usually dirty. The Snarky Momma doesn't feel guilty that her baby has been wearing the same onesie for t Site statistics:Click here
Just wow. 2007-05-28 17:29:01 {summary}I’ve been meaning to sit down and write about this for a while, but have had far too many distractions preventing me from getting lucent thoughts typed out. So. 17 kids. Wow. I have some definite opinions about this, but I won’t share them here. I know as moms we all struggle to be at our best, so I’m not about to disparage anyone’s situation (or even ponder what the hell she could be thinking). Props to her for doing what she does so well - I couldn’t imagine being pregnant/breastfeeding for most of 20 years. I’m still recovering (physically and otherwise) from my one little blood-sucker. The very idea of having that many kids makes me clamp my legs together very tightly.
BUT...I will say this (and it’s the teeny tiny snarky socialist in me talking): what if everyone in America decided to have as many kids as God would let them? We’d be colonizing the moon and any other roc
Writers block would actually be preferable to this. 2007-05-28 02:15:00 {summary}We’ve been home from our little excursion for three hours. As soon as I got into the house I sat down to try to get some writing done.
I have produced approximately negative one paragraphs of material because of distractions. Furthermore, the kid is working himself into a exhaustion-fueled frenzy, and I can’t concentrate for all the noise. If it weren’t after nine, I’d drive to Wal-Mart (*spit*) and buy some ear plugs. Read more:Writers
, block
, Writers block
Cute AND smart: what a catch! 2007-05-31 17:02:00 {summary}Okay, I can’t verify that “smart” thing just yet, but if he’s going to step into my genetic footprints at all, then, well…
I’ve been playing phone tag with the people at the Duke Infant Cognition Center for a few weeks now. I called them about a study I wanted to put Rosco in (because being lab rats is awesome, yo) that is trying to ascertain whether young (nonverbal) children have the ability to count. There are actually quite a few studies going on, such as the one Owen did last week on perception. Since the study coordinators aren’t allowed to leave messages, every time the number came up on my cell phone I thought ”Who the hell is this?” Because the number wasn’t popping up in a Google search/reverse phone number look-up, I didn’t answer. True, I could have called back and asked why they were calling, but why waste my anytime minutes? Anyway, the number finally came up in a
Boing! 2007-05-29 23:39:00 {summary}
Okay, I don’t feel bad about letting Rosco jump himself to sleep. I do feel bad that that’s the ONLY place he’s napped today. *rolls eyes*
He discovered he has the ability to bounce a couple of days ago, and has really been going at since yesterday. I sort of fear he’ll break the darn thing. Read more:Boing
Yee haw. 2007-05-29 22:39:00 {summary}We so rarely drag the grill out because I’m very allergic to mosquito bites and because we live in a wooded area they’re pretty prolific. It’s been pretty dry in the Southeast for the past several weeks, so the bugs haven’t been *too* bad. We took a chance yesterday, it being Memo day and the unofficial start of summer, to throw some chicken on grill. So, there we are. Just call us “Cletus” and “Clementine.” I’m throwing up the “Yo, what’s up?” sign just because it’s funny. Please don’t tell me that’s a gang symbol. If it is it’s totally unintentional.
FYI, yes, that is a “Girls Gone Wild” tank top. No, I didn’t do anything to earn it. Scott got it as a freebie from some people he was working with back in 2002 and I don’t turn down free stuff to bum around the house in. Yes, I’m wearing little boy
…and not a tooth in sight. 2007-06-05 01:07:00 {summary}R puts erery damn thing into his mouth, so I figured that this would be a good time to start introducing him to some finger foods he could feed himself. I wanted to start with something sure-fire that I wouldn’t have to worry about reaching down his throat to pull out if he didn’t gum it enough, so I offered him some of those dissolvable puffs. I think I must have mistakenly bought the ones for toddlers instead of the ones for babies, because that didn’t go well. He was able to work his fingers well enough to pick them up, but wasn’t so dextrous that he could get them into his mouth. All the same I wanted to reward him for his hard work and helped him by placing one on his tongue. From there he didn’t know what to do with it. He let it dissolve just slightly that it would stick in the middle of his mouth, which of course made him cough and bray like a donkey. Eventually, he swallowed it. (I ended up Read more:hellip
Stuff my husband does for me. 2007-06-03 07:00:00 {summary}Here’s a postcard he sent while he was working on a project in California. This was pre-Rosco, and I was home alone for several days. Thank God for the cats making noises at night, or I would have been totally freaked out that someone was trying to break into the house.
Tiffany on Blogging 2007-06-03 04:21:00 {summary}Jenny just tagged me, which is a good thing because I was totally about to write a blog post about Rosco’s hair. I’ll save that for tomorrow *wink*.
1. Go back to first or early post. How would you describe your voice back in those early days? Who were you writing to? What was your sense of audience (if any) back then?
You know, I can honestly say that my voice hasn’t changed much - this blog is only half a year old. Snarky Momma was meant to be a spin-off of my main bitch-a-lot blog, Blown Fuse, but the baby kind of dampened the fire a bit (flame is still there, just not as hot), and I killed Blown Fuse off like a conniving whore on a soap opera.
I started Snarky Momma because I wanted to reach out to other moms like me: women who don’t want their personalities to shrivel up and die just because they’ve added the title “Mommy” to their résumés. I don’t want anyone to ever accuse me of having changed sin Read more:Tiffany
, Blogging
What the…? 2007-06-03 02:23:00 {summary}(Click to enlarge)
Does anyone else see anything wrong with the ad on this page? For some reason, I don’t think the demographics are compatible. Read more:hellip
“I love you, too, now move - you’re blocking the t.v.” 2007-06-02 02:17:00 {summary}There’s an awesome contest going on over at Parent Bloggers in correlation with eHarmony.com’s new eHarmony Marriage program. I could win a $100 American Express gift card to have a dinner date with Scott AND $100 to pay a babysitter (I’m sure that if we had a regular sitter, $100 would make her/him squeal with glee at our startling generosity). Anyhow, since entering contests and stalking mommy forums are how I get my thrills nowadays (I’m such a wild child), I’m totally game.
We’re beyond our breaking point for needing to get out, so a response immediately popped into mind when asked to fill in the blank: “You know you need a date with your husband when….
The answer? When 80% of our conversations are prefaced with &ldquo
;Well, you can read about it on my blog, but...&rdquo
;
We’re so deep into this parenting thing now that having adult conversations about topics having absolutely nothing to do with Rosco ar
All we’re missing is orange cones and traffic detours. 2007-06-08 04:36:01 {summary}My home office (AKA the former living room and cat bathroom) is in a state of complete chaos, and that’s completely screwing up my flow. Most of the stuff from our dining room is currently piled into it.
I’m the kind of writer who has to have everything just so to be able to get lucent thoughts typed up. I need to have complete calm around me or I just can’t make sense of words. I’ve always been that way - even when I was a kid and hid under my bed with a lamp to read in peace. Call it feng sui or misaligned chakra or whatever, but I just can’t find my focus when my house is like this. I feel bad, too. I promised Carmen I’d write my opinions on this article this morning, but I couldn’t get it done. I tried for three hours, deleting, revising, and editing, but the damned thing just didn’t make any sense. It was so bad that I had to delete the entire file and walk away. Twelv Read more:cones
, traffic
Too bad I like living in my own house and all. 2007-06-08 03:31:00 {summary}Found this in the local free women’s mag - perhaps you know some poor college grad with some time on her hands .
Female Volunteers Wanted for Nutrition Research Study
The Nutrition Department at UNC-Chapel Hill is enrolling participants for a study to examine the effects of estrogen and certain gene variations on human choline requirements.
Choline is an essential nutrient and is found in many foods. We recently found that the human choline requirement differs from person to person and is influenced by estrogen and common gene variations. The purpose of this study is to imporve our understanding of how these factors change a person’s need for choline.
We are looking for healthy women, 18-80 years of age, with no liver problems, no history of heart disease or blood clots, and no history of breast or endometrial cancer.
Post-menopausal women will be asked to take either Premarin (a form of Etrogen replacement therapy) or a placebo. Pre-meno
They were right: 2007-06-06 19:16:00 {summary}Elmo’s on Ninth Street is an awesome place to take a baby to dinner.
It was clean, the clientele was a bit more classy, and nobody minded that Rosco was talking to himself. Loudly.
My meatloaf sandwich was excellent, by the way.
R still tried to grab everything off the table to shove into his mouth, but I thought ahead this time and took along some Gerber mac & cheese (amazing what they can puree and put in a jar).
I was super-surprised that the server actually asked when we were being seated if he would need a spoon or anything. Nice!
PBN Reviews Get A Hobby 2007-06-05 13:00:01 {summary}I’m a bit of a hobby ho - it goes along with that whole “Jill of all Trades” thing I have going on. I can’t simply commit myself to achieving mastery in just a few interests when instead I can be “okay” in a whole lot of things. I’m sure that MacGyver would appreciate my sensibilities. Anyway, this is probably where my husband and I diverge personality-wise. He tends to put all of his [non-Rosco] energy into two things (graphic design and Star Wars) whereas I’m spread thin like cheap frosting. I think mothers in general are guilty of this: if we’re not multitasking and having projects lined up back to back then we feel like we’re not accomplishing anything.
Athough parenting takes up a good portion of my day, it’s important for me to continue to feed those components of my life that are just for me. That is to say I don’t want to turn into a shadow of my former self; I Read more:Hobby
So smooth! So flat! 2007-06-09 05:26:00 {summary}The long-awaited kitchen floor renovations are complete and I think we made a great choice. Scott is currently belly-down on it, examining it and admiring it’s beauty. It’s an Armstrong Excelon vinyl composit commercial-grade floor. It’s excellent for heavy foot traffic, small destructive children, pets, and blog posts.
Unfortunately, the brown paint color I love so much that I had to slap up while Scott was away on a businesss trip sort of doesn’t go anymore...especially not with the white wainscoting and the new tan paint in the adjacent t.v. room. Also, our counters now look like crap.
Why is it that whenever you make one home repair you can’t stop there? Now we have to flip a coin and decide which we hate more: the refrigerator that’s constantly crying out for repairs or the countertops. Read more:smooth
A year ago I would have thought this strange. 2007-06-09 03:22:01 {summary}
Now I think me paying $22 for a can of formula is strange when I can get it out the “tap” for free. Funny how perspectives change. Read more:thought
Reverse Balding 2007-06-08 13:00:00 {summary}Rosco was one of those babies born with a head full of stick-straight black hair - no exaggeration: black-black. At delivery that stupefied me as my hair is mud brown (and obviously curly) and Scott’s is sort of sandy (not a wave in sight). I suppose I expected him to pop out looking like the mental image I’d been compiling during 39 weeks + 6 days of baby-baking [Actually, my first thought at seeing him was “That kid is Asian.” I wouldn’t have believed he was mine if I didn’t for a fact still have him attached to my placenta.].
I figured he’d just have a bit of fuzz like I did at birth, but I guess that old wives’ tale about having heartburn during pregnancy means the baby will have lots of hair held true for me.
(8 days old)
When I was able to get my wits about me and read without my eyes crossing, I did some research on the hair fluke. I can’t remember where I read it, probably in a book Read more:Reverse
At least the interview wasn’t traumatic. 2007-06-14 04:06:01 {summary}Yes, Rosco has taken to his binky again. Lately he’s been gnawing on his fingers like they’re going out of style and shrieking like a hurt dingo whenever he’s not sucking on something, so I gave it back to him. The drooling has intensified 1000% in the past few days so I suppose he may be at the beginning stage of teething. If not, he’s been a really, really, REALLY, grumpy child just for the hell of it.
In case you’re wondering about the interview
, it was fine. I dropped Ros off at the babysitter’s where he got to observe the fine art that is crawling from the mom’s 9-month-old. When we got home the first thing he wanted to do when I put him on the floor was practice worm-like undulations while on his belly. His next trick is to put one leg out sideways like a bike kick-stand to try to get his body up. He got lazy after managing to propel himself a few inches forward and quit travelling befo Read more:least
, traumatic
A PSA: Mommies Network members 2007-06-14 03:24:00 {summary}If you’re a member of a Mommies Network Organization site and have been experiencing the chills and convulsions that come from forum withdrawal, a temporary nationwide board is being housed at http://www.setbb.com/mommies/ while the new server gets fixed.
In a nutshell, a chip in the server running the sites went “kaboom!” and now they’re trying to recover the data. Because there are already about 1,000 moms registered and posting it’s a virtual madhouse. Be sure to take frequent breaks and rub your eyes as necessary.
Kicking and screaming. 2007-06-12 22:05:01 {summary}So...I have this job interview tomorrow. I haven’t talked about it before now because I don’t want it to seem like a big deal, although it most certainly is. I would be sacrificing the amount of time I spend with my boy for the greater good of the household. We’d be able to go ahead and finish all these pesky never-ending home renovations, plan for a big vacation, and save up for those braces I’m sure R will need someday.
I haven’t made this decision easily. When I sat down and calculated how much I would need to earn above and beyond the cost of daycare to make it worth leaving the house, I just assumed I’d never find anything in the range I need. I was an English major, and as you may guess we’re pretty much a dime a dozen. “English major” normally translates into “grad school applicant,” however in my case it was simply what I was best at.
An English degree simply state Read more:Kicking
, screaming
Wiseguy, eh? 2007-06-15 21:58:00 {summary}You know, while I believe that Rosco needs to learn to play independently, I feel bad that sometimes I leave him in a room alone so I can get stuff done. Case in point:
I left Rosco to play on top of a a queen-sized blanket on the floor. He was on the corner near the sofa, far away from anything of adult interest.
I heard clanging on something metal and thought “Hmm? What the hell? Both the cats are in here with me, so...” and then I ran into the t.v. room to make sure he hadn’t banged his head on the t.v. stand. Nope. He was trying to rip Scott’s PS2 off the cart and was flinging the spare memory stick thingie around like he was shaking a Polaroid picture.
I pried the game system components out of his death grip and put him back on the corner where all his special “safe” baby toys were piled. Again, I walked away to stalk the mommy forums collect dirty laundry.
Next, I heard “clink-cli
It’s funny because it’s true. 2007-06-15 15:34:00 {summary}Tiffany: Jessica Alba looks like a cartoon character wearing those blue contact lenses in Fantastic 4.
Scott: No. She looks like one of the Wayans brothers in White Chicks.
Edited to add: Scott insists I show the following pictures as proof of his comparison.
Ms. Alba:
Misters Wayans:
That looks like… 2007-06-21 03:30:01 {summary}
Yeah, those biter biscuits make a huge mess. You wouldn’t think so, right? I don’t know what it is about them, but once your baby gets it into his mouth for a while and gets it good and moist, it turns into a big edible crayon that can be used to smear brown food goop all over the high chair and baby himself. Clothing is certainly optional when consuming these things. Read more:hellip
A moment of silence. 2007-06-20 04:30:00 {summary}I’m a slipper girl. We have hardwoods in our house, and since I can’t stand the feel of crunchy stuff on bare feet I’m usually wearing house shoes or clean flip-flops while I’m indoors.
My house shoe flip-flops (see - two in one!) bit the dust several months ago, and yet I still wore them because they were comfortable. Unfortunately I kept getting the torn fabric on the bottoms caught on the floor trim and the stairs causing me to trip and go flailing to the ground. That has happened more times than I care to admit, but thankfully I wasn’t holding Rosco during any of those fiascos.
I put them in the trash yesterday. *sigh* You wouldn’t think it possible to form an attachment to holey slippers, but those things got me through pregnancy, a very uncomfortable post-partum period, and several loads of laundry out in our creepy laundry room.
RIP, slippers. Read more:silence
Near and dear. 2007-06-20 04:00:01 {summary}I’d like to take a moment here to promote one of my favorite causes: The Mommies Network. From their website:
“The Mommies Network is a 501c(3) non-profit organization dedicated to helping moms find support and friendship in their local community. We were founded April, 2005 and currently have 36 communities in 14 states with over 12,000 members. In 2007 we opened our first “dads-only” communities to support the unique needs of fathers.”
My local group, Triangle Mommies, has over 1300 registered members and has been an invaluable source of support for me as a first-time mom. Sometimes, rather than crack under the pressure of not having all the answers, I can go seek out my TM peers for support. It makes me feel a little bit better about motherhood to know that, appearances aside, other moms are stumbling down the same bumpy trail as me. TMN differs from other mom’s groups in that they don’t require us to pay d
Grumplestiltskin 2007-06-19 00:03:00 {summary}Rosco is super-cranky lately because of a combination of teething (assuming such from the contant flow of saliva from his mouth to our floors), and a heightened desire for mobility. The last time he was this grumpy was when he was learning to roll over and kept getting stuck.
I’m okay enough with my parenting skillz to admit that he’s a whiner. When he’s frustrated he cries...sometimes a lot. My issue has been trying to figure out when to back off and let him work it out for himself, and when he’s actually asking for attention. When he was learning to roll, I didn’t let him cry a lot. I would immediately go in and flip him back, not even giving him enough time to try to get himself back over. I think I hindered how quickly he could have achieved the task independently, and I don’t want to make that mistake again.
When he’s on his belly, he’s able to use his arms to spin around in circles
Happy Father’s Day! 2007-06-18 01:45:00 {summary}
I’m incredibly humbled that we’ve been gifted such a great little guy, and that he has a super dad he can proudly look up to. Read more:Happy
, Father
Duh! 2007-06-23 21:03:00 {summary}You ever have realizations that you’ve been overlooking perfectly obvious things for years and years? For instance, for a long time I’ve known my great-grandfather’s first and middle names were “Frederic Douglas.” Get it? Frederick Douglas. I JUST noticed who he was named after. Duh.
Just this past week I’ve noticed that “Palmolive” is the words “palm” and “olive” put together, i.e. the fruit of a palm tree. Duh.
What perfectly obvious things have you been overlooking?
Everything is hard. 2007-06-22 20:45:00 {summary}You know what? I’m sick and tired of seeing this argument. “Blah blah blah, being a stay-at-home parent isn’t hard, blah blah blah.” Why does society keep piling fuel on that fire? All it’s serving to do is further pit women against each other, forcing them to form comparisons that have absolutely no basis or merit.
Here’s my take:
STOP MAKING YOURSELVES DAMNED MARTYRS. ALL OF Y’ALL! “Whine whine, it’s so hard to work!” “Whine whine, it’s so hard to stay home!”
We can’t pretend to know what’s hard for everyone. It burns my biscuits when I hear people talking about how easy the SAHM gig is. Some days, it’s a breeze—R is perfectly compliant, naps on schedule, and goes to bed on time. On just as many days he’s a raging cyclone. I can hardly find time to pee, let alone start dinner, and my husband doesn&rsq Read more:Everything
Fact: 2007-06-28 04:22:00 {summary}
If Rosco keeps growing at his current rate, he’ll be taller than me when he’s twelve.
How exactly do you discipline a hormonally-obnoxious pre-teen who’s taller than you?
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