Owner: Snarky Momma URL:http://www.snarkymomma.com Join Date: Sun, 25 Feb 2007 14:45:42 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Snarky Momma is a blog written by and for the mom who doesn't have it all together. Our hair isn't combed, our pajamas don't match, and our babies are usually dirty. The Snarky Momma doesn't feel guilty that her baby has been wearing the same onesie for t Site statistics:Click here
No use beating around the bush, eh, husband? 2007-05-07 22:22:01 {summary}Scott: (having just returned from shopping and holding something behind his back) “Do you want me to give you your Mother’s Day gift early?”
Tiffany: (raises an eyebrow, carries on with dinner prep) “Um...no?”
Scott: “Are you sure? You don’t want one of your gifts early?”
Tiffany: (intrigued) “Why?”
Scott: “I kind of need you to open it before Mother’s Day.”
Tiffany: “Why?”
Scott: “Because I need to use it.”
--
At first I thought Scott had gone out and done something rude and man-like and bought me a drill or toolbox for mother’s day, but nope. He bought me a new digital camera so I can continue to plaster Rosco’s cuteness all over the internet.
Here’s my Optio’s swan song (I used it to take a picture of my new camera):
Isn’t it a beaut? (from what you can see through the lines, anyway) It& Read more:beating
*COUGHcoughcoughCOUGHcough* 2007-05-06 20:56:00 {summary}Rosco has been battling his first-ever cold for the past few days. I had a conversation with my sister (momma three times over) yesterday about his symptoms and we examined every complaint ranging from snot color to runny green stool. Apparently clear snot (nasal drip, basically) would indicate allergies whereas the cloudy stuff is caused by a cold. I doubt Rosco has cat allergies. I have allergies to long-haired cats, which our cats are not. There is a good deal of cat hair decorating various surfaces of the house but after almost six months of life I guess if he were allergic to the little piss-puddlers we’d know it by now.
Incidentally, while I can tell he has a head full of snot I’m not at all interested in spending a lot of time suctioning it out with one of those rubber bulb contractions. I’m taking the cavewoman’s very un-technological approach here - the gunk will find a way out.
Rosco’s sleep has been aff
Who am I fooling? 2007-05-11 10:49:00 {summary}
What we have here is a sleep-resistant baby. Here we are pushing 11 PM and this kid is wide awake, thrashing at my keyboard, and disobeying even the most reasonable request to shut his eyes.
He’s had a nice big bottle. He’s been cuddled and snuggled. He’s even been given the stink-eye by momma, yet here he is, bouncing around on my lap and preventing me from sleeping myself.
He hasn’t napped for any considerable amount of time today, and this time I can’t even blame him waking himself up coughing. The coughing has pretty much stopped now, so it’s just him being a butt.
Yes, I just called my young’un a “butt.” You may be clucking your tongue and thinking to yourself that we have a real inability to show this child who’s boss, but you’re not the one who’s had to listen to him whine all day because he’s sleepy and then listen to him whine because I put him to bed when he
Wow, that was SO easy! 2007-05-11 09:56:01 {summary}This has been one of those days when I’ve been busy non-stop and yet haven’t gotten very much done.
I got up early this morning with the intent of getting out and running some errands and back home before Rosco hit his noon grumbly patch. I had four things that needed to be accomplished before the mailman came: 1) Report my lost license plate as such; 2) Get a document notarized; 3) Buy stamps; and 4) Get notarized document in the mail.
As there’s place where one can offically report a plate as missing, the...um...license plate place, I had to drive all the way to North Durham. This may come as a shock, but even though I’ve lived in Durham for (*counts on fingers*) 3 1/2 years, I’ve never actually been to Northgate Mall. I’ve driven past it on several occasions, but never really needed anything from there bad enough to actually go in. The license plate bureau is in the mall proper, so while I was driving down Club
Ew! 2007-05-10 06:33:00 {summary}When I did grocery shopping over the weekend I figured that this week would be as good a time as any to experiment with homemade baby food. I’ve been systematically going down the allergy list with Rosco and trying him on all the stage 1 fruits and veggies, and so far the only thing he doesn’t tolerate well is pears (much like his momma, but we won’t get into that).
I decided to keep it simple and start with carrots, which he seems to like fairly well, and sweet potato (which he could take or leave). I steamed the carrots yesterday, pureed them in my handy-dandy food processor, and froze them in 1/4 cup servings. I saved a bit for his lunch.
Well, it’s been a little over 24 hours since our foray into momma-prepared nutrition, and let’s just say that the most recent diaper changing experience was quite unpleasant. As massive as my vocabulary is, I can’t think of a way to tactfully explain the ...um...deposit The Ki
PBN Review: Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box 2007-05-09 12:40:00 {summary}I’m pleased to introduce the following Parent Blogger’s review item to you because, as you’ve probably read, I’m a person who hates being judged for what I should (or should not) be doing as a parent. In real life I try to distance myself from conversation that’ll ultimately lead to someone making comparisons and insinuating that X, Y, or Z is better because it’s bigger or costs more money.
When I allow myself to fall into those comparison traps I feel like such shit because I know that someone, usually some quiet mom on the periphery, always gets her feelings hurt because she feels inadequate in some way. I once made the egregious mistake of commenting that poorly planned Easter egg hunts where the older kids get all the eggs and don’t leave any for the toddler set were a bad idea because they taught kids that “more = better.” I then suggested that the hunts could be improved by having kids seek certa Read more:Juice
In real life… 2007-05-14 22:07:00 {summary}You may not know this about me, but I have a mouth like a sailor (somewhere my husband is falling on the floor in a fit of laughter). I’ve been a fluent cusser since I was six or seven (I blame it on that year I lived in da Bronx).
I know it’s a dirty, filthy habit for a lady, but it’s become an integral part of my communications arsenal. I don’t care how many big words you know, there are few words in the English language that emit the same force and implication as certain expletives I use frequently.
I don’t swear in front of other peoples’ kids, though, and scold myself pretty harshly when I let something slip around R. (I’d prefer R to learn his cuss words the same way I learned mine - from HBO and the schoolyard.) So, if I ever have to babysit your kid - don’t worry. I can promise you that if they learn a new word, it hasn’t come from me (unless it’s something like pretentious or high Read more:hellip
Happy Mother’s Day! 2007-05-13 22:00:02 {summary}Here’s a little poetic snark for you in honor of the occasion:
“All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.”
--Oscar Wilde Read more:Happy
, Happy Mother
Have a ball, kid. 2007-05-12 23:21:01 {summary}Yesterday, Rosco and I ended up in a bit of a unintentional travelling playgroup. A group of moms and I were plotting something out (don’t worry - it doesn’t involve world domination) and were moving from North Durham down through South Durham to visit each others’ homes.
Here’s what I’ve discovered: Rosco doesn’t have enough toys. That’s only partially intentional. I was a child who could usually satisfy myself with an empty refrigerator box and stack of books that I’d already read, so I suppose I have a hard time determining how much stuff is too much.
Whenever I’m poking around Target or Babies ‘R Us I take a look at the baby toys to see if there’s anything at Rosco’s developmental level he’d be interested in playing with. All the stuff I see is usually virtually identical to something he already has (meaning it may be an entirely different toy but serves the exact same
Running a sleep deficit. 2007-05-17 20:13:01 {summary}So, last night we let the kid cry it out. I really just needed to hear the pediatrician say it wouldn’t kill him or scar him for life (which I knew, of course, but I needed to hear it out of her mouth).
He cried non-stop for an hour and a half. For the first half hour or so, I went in to wipe his face and assure him that nothing would be happening while he slept. It was past eleven at that point—frankly, I needed the sleep too.
When he woke up again at three or so, I contemplated getting up to comfort him but I knew the end result would be bringing him back to the bed. He’s a sprawler, and the entire point was for me to get some sleep, so I let him cry some more. It took him thirty minutes.
So, as far as sleep is concerned I’m no better off than I was yesterday, but we’re on the road to better things.
In other news, Ros got two shots yesterday. This time he didn’t spend the afternoon wailing in misery an Read more:deficit
7 Random Things 2007-05-17 06:41:01 {summary}I’ve been tagged by Yemi! I suppose my brain is working well enough today to rustle something up.
So.
1 - I actually like being short. Granted, at 5’2”, I can still see over some adult womens’ heads, but I enjoy being relatively compact. It makes it easier to curl up in random places to sleep.
2 - I will fight you if you tell me I look like my mother (even though I know full well I do). Then again, I’m equally as likely to roll my eyes if someone tells me I look like my father. I don’t know what that’s all about: probably just me wanting to be contrary (I also get that from my mother).
3 - I wish I had applied myself more in college instead of just trying to skate through. I figured the diploma was more valuable than the GPA in my major. Not so much.
4 - I’m an autodidact. I learn better by familiarizing myself with material before someone tries to “teach” it to me.& Read more:Random
I look awesome. 2007-05-16 00:14:00 {summary}So...I’m poking around myspace because I don’t have a thing in the world else to do (joke), and seeing who’s there from my high school graduating class. There were only 169 of us, and I’m pretty sure I could recite most of their names if I saw them in person. When I dragged myself out of bed this morning I came to he startling revelation that I have a reunion on the horizon (*eep!*).
Er...folks don’t look the same. I see names and look at pictures and think, “Um...who?” I’m having to pull out a yearbook, and that’s ridiculous.
I wonder if people stumble across my profile and think “DAMN, what did she do to herself?!?” I look the same. I mean, I think I look the same. A little less prim and proper, a probably a lot rougher around the edges, but I’m easily recognizable.
Right? RIGHT? Read more:awesome
*pour coffee here* 2007-05-15 22:56:00 {summary}I found this article, Parents’ health suffers when kids can’t sleep, yesterday and thought “Hmm, that’s interesting. It’s a good thing Rosco lets me sleep every now and again.” har har har.
Then, last night he proceeded to wake no fewer than four times, kicking and screaming for no fucking reason at all. NONE. The fact that I’m an unstable, quivvering mass right now isn’t particularly surprising:
“Mothers appeared to be particularly affected, the study found. Whereas only infant sleep problems were linked to poorer health among fathers, sleep difficulties at any age seemed to affect mothers' physical and psychological well-being.
This may be because mothers are usually the ones who deal with their children's sleep issues, according to the study authors.”
So true. If you could see the bags under my eyes you’d understand why I didn’t peel myself out of bed until 11 t
No! Not MATH! 2007-05-19 22:04:00 {summary}It’s triple coupon weekend at Harris Teeter. We would probably be okay if I didn’t clip coupons, but with gas prices being what they are saving a few dollars here and there can help feed Scott’s car. On Thursday when I found out they were doing triple coupons, I went through my box o’ savings and sorted through coupons for everything I needed. I intended to go shopping last night, however Scott got home too late and driving in the dark isn’t one of my talents (nor is unloading groceries in a dark, deer-infested yard).
This morning, I realized I had a brain fart when I was taking out the coupons. I shouldn’t just be buying what I usually buy. I should be pulling coupons for EVERYTHING that’ll ring up as close to free. So, this $0.55 coupon for Tyson canned chicken would mean savings of $1.65. I can’t remember how much it normally costs, but that sounds like my pantry could stand to have
A PSA 2007-05-19 08:21:01 {summary}Here’s a little public service announcement - because I love you all.
Under no circumstances should you buy wine from the clearance rack at Harris Teeter. It is there for a reason.
When I was doing my bi-weekly shopping a couple of weeks ago at a particuarly swanky location, I happened to get into the check-out lane nearest the clearance bin. While the person in front of me checked out, I quickly rummaged through and found several varieties of wine normally in the $15-$20 range.
What I didn’t think was “Hmm, wine doesn’t have an expiration. Why are these on clearance?”
Because they’re skunky is why.
I wish I had saved the red wine so I could tell you what it was( it was especially repugnant), but it went out into Tuesday’s recycling. One of the whites was by Chalone Vineyard and is the 2005 Chardonnay. It left a bitter aftertaste and kind of stank. I’m currently working on a third bot
If your name isn’t “Judy” then you shouldn’t be judging me. 2007-05-19 04:32:00 {summary}I’ve stated before, and I’ll probably state again, that I usually ride the fence on most issues. I don’t subscribe to any particular methodology of parenting because I can usually find enough scientific research to poke holes in most theories.
When it comes to baby sleep I admit we’ve had our issues. There have been some days that I’ve plodded through like a zombie out of sheer exhaustion. If the kid wasn’t waking up at 2 a.m. for feeding, he was in bed with us taking up precious space on our too-small mattress and forcing me to keep one eye open to make sure he was safe.
I didn’t want to do cry-it-out because I really thought I’d be traumatizing my child and severing his trust in me. Seriously. I’d look down at his adorable little face and squirmy body and feel like some kind of cold-blooded snake for even considering abandoning him to his crib. Yes, babies cry for a reason! I Read more:ldquo
, rdquo
Dang ol’ technology, II 2007-05-18 10:26:01 {summary}As my usual photo editor has been giving me crap ever since I installed the drivers for my shiny new camera, I uninstalled it today with the intention of doing a fresh installation. Instead, I figured I might as well see what else is on the market that has a bit more oomph than the Microsoft Picture It! I had been using.
I’ve used Photoshop in the past and like the features a lot, but do you have any frickin’ idea how much that software costs? Like, one million dollars. I’d need to call Adobe and see if I could set up a layaway plan to be able to afford it. The huz, as a “professional,” has it on his computer, but messing around on a Mac isn’t on the list of things I need to accomplish everyday. So.
Just for giggles I’m doing the 30-trial of Photoshop Elements. It’s about 1/7th the cost, and as the bulk of the Rosco pictures get edited and stored on my computer, we might as well see what it
Earn your keep, cats. 2007-05-23 02:32:01 {summary}There’s a skink in my house.
And the fucking cats? Are losers. What good are they if they can’t keep up with their role in the food chain? Somewhere there’s a lizard in this house and I hate that thought. Sure, it’s not poisonous, but all the same I don’t like the idea of something slimy scampering across my foot.
Mommy brain and whoopie doo. 2007-05-22 15:10:01 {summary}While we’re working to get R’s sleeping schedule sorted out, I’ve been doing my best to pay attention to his sleepy-time cues: ear yanking, pulling his hair, rubbing his eyes, etc. Normally between the time he wakes up and goes down for a nap I have at least two hours to get him fed (milk and then cereal an hour later), washed up, re-diapered, and dressed. Today, he wanted to go back to bed as soon as he woke up so to try to keep him on some semblance of a schedule I had to do everything in abbreviated form. He’s napping now. I don’t know how I feel about him waking up pre-8 a.m. every day. While it means he’ll go to bed earlier in the evenings, it also means I have to get up earlier in the mornings.
While I’m on the subject of cranky babies, something R really likes to do is take his supposedly-unspillable Nûby cup and empty its contents all over himself. You see, as long as you squeeze the valve Read more:Mommy
Snarky baby indeed. 2007-05-21 03:53:00 {summary}I know I’ve stated that R has developed a distinct ability to manipulate me over the past couple of weeks, right? Well, it would seem that the kid’s personality has developed right under my nose and today slapped me right in the face (figuratively, of course).
R was Mr. Crankypants for most of today because his naps were all a little short. I dealt with it the best I could and tried to keep him entertained or held him as much as I had an arm available.
Scott had been out in the yard trimming hedges and such. Since he was going to shower anyway, I suggested we take a trip to AC Moore to take a look at their frame sale. I put Rosco into his Jumperoo while I sat at the kitchen table (ten feet away) to have some ice cream. He whined in annoyance and I made some typical “Everything will be okay” commentary. When I looked up at him, he had this expression on his face that I’ve never, ever seen him make before.&nbs Read more:Snarky
Utilizing your child as a secret agent: Mission 1 (Getting your husband out of bed) 2007-05-20 17:53:01 {summary}1- Send secret agent in to infiltrate lair.
2- Agent will woo subject with cuteness and make situation uncomfortable for subject by drenching covers with special-formulation saliva
3- Agent will attempt to cause subject to evacuate lair by sprawling in his personal space and rolling around in it.
4- Subject will see the futility of attempting to sleep late and will get up to investigate whether that is bacon he smells, instead. Read more:Utilizing
, child
, Mission
Look, a cameo! 2007-05-26 04:04:00 {summary}Irk!
Erica has been in The Triangle doing boring work-related stuff and stopped by for a couple of beers and a lasagna dinner.
Random topics of conversation included:
*Semi-joking suggestions (from me) that she should adopt a young’un a la Angelina (because that’s what we mommies do - convince everydamnbody to join the parenting brigade so that we feel we’re not the only ones not getting sleep)
*Flip-flops (and DSW)
*BlogHer 2007. I’m totally considering it...I wonder how many baby toys I can fit into carryon luggage.
*Minnesota Target stores don’t sell beer. !!!shock/awe!!! That took me aback almost as much as that time when a cashier at Kroger told me one Sunday morning that she couldn’t sell me that bottle of wine I was buying for another fifteen minutes. (dang draconian laws...)
*Twitter voyeurism
*Detroit
*Carmen Van Kerckhove
*Superhero booties (I’ll explain later)
*Garrison Keillor and Carl Kassel Read more:cameo
What I’m bobbing my head to 2007-05-25 14:00:00 {summary}I’m a classicaly-trained pianist (that doesn’t mean I’m a prodigy, by the way) and an ex band geek. My taste in music is a bit various and can by no means be classified in a simple list. I love the sound of Jazz piano (with a glass of wine) but can also appreciate some danceable hip-hop. I like John Denver and Dolly Parton, but am not embarrassed to say I also like the Pussycat Dolls (okay, maybe I’m a little embarrassed).
Here’s a sampling of ten randomly played songs from my iPod. I hope you’ll feel like you know me a little better as a result. You’ll note that many of these were iTunes free offerings which I loved enough not to delete. I’m actually pretty mad that ALL TEN were free picks. That totally makes it look like I don’t buy music, which isn’t the case. Weird. I’ll have you know that #11 is from a Tift Merritt CD I actually own. *rolls ey
Scorned. 2007-05-25 05:05:00 {summary}I don’t like having to cut people out of my life. Really, I don’t. I tend to prefer having a really small group of real friends who know me very well than a huge list of acquaintances I rarely touch base with. My real, true friends understand (and expect) that I won’t call or visit them frequently, nor them me. We don’t need to connect constantly to feel like we’re maintaining our relationship. Because I have a very strong personality and an inability to control my sarcasm for more than ten minutes at a time, it takes a special kind of somebody to really understand me. For that reason, I only let a few people “in.”
Take for instance my cousin/road dawg Sheena. We’ve been close since Rainbow Brite was cool. We can go months without talking to each other, but are still friends because after twenty years or so, we haven’t changed. Sure, we’ve matured, been in bad re
Sittin’ Pretty 2007-05-25 00:29:00 {summary}
(No, my hillbilly baby ain’t wearin’ no shoes.) I finally sucked it up and bought a shopping cart seat cover for R. If I can help it at all, Rosco stays home during any shopping excursions that would require a shopping cart. I used to try wearing him in his Snugli while pusing the cart, but he’s so long that his dangling legs interfere with my ability to walk. Now that he can sit up pretty well, and that it’s becoming unavoidable for me to take him with me shopping, I had to find a new solution that didn’t involve schlepping a stroller around (you should have saw me using the stroller basket to cart beer around earlier today).
I went to Babies ‘R Us to see what was available. I had seen a whole bunch of people using them, and in fact encountered a little girl sitting in one while I was poking around in the store. It was pink and floofy and made her look like she was stting in a cloud. I figured they w Read more:Pretty
Tell me something… 2007-05-24 19:07:01 {summary}...if your kid obviously needs a nap, and you stop the errands you’re running to bring him home to get that nap, and when he gets home he decides he doesn’t want to take it and instead makes life difficult for you by whining for two hours because you’re not a mindreader, you’d be pissed, right?
Okay, just checking. Because I know the moment I strap him back into his car seat he’ll fall asleep and I’ll have to wait in the Target parking lot for half an hour for him to wake up. Now, excuse me while I go and pretend that I’m removing him from his crib because it’s convenient for me and not simply because he’s annoying the shit out of me with the crocodile tears.
Grr! Read more:something
, hellip
Gah! Stop it! 2007-05-24 16:17:00 {summary}To the person with the 919 phone number calling my celly telly:
If you’ve been calling me and not leaving a frickin’ message, could you please quit it? As you may well know I don’t answer numbers I don’t recognize, and I won’t call back if I can’t track you through a reverse phone number look up. I mean, dang, if it’s a wrong number I understand, but do you have to call every day? I’m intrigued by whoever you are, but there’s only so much mystery I can take.
Thoughtful, I am. 2007-05-23 17:35:01 {summary}Check it out! I have a guest post up at Anti-racist Parent.
I obviously had my thinking cap on when I wrote that, especially considering all I can think critically about lately is Star Trek themes.
Oh well, kid’s gotta eat. 2007-05-23 16:02:00 {summary}I feel like warmed-over three-day-old lumpy gravy. When R woke me up this morning I felt like a heavy fog had decended on my brain. My head was swimming, my boob was throbbing, and I felt like I wanted to throw up.
I figured is was mere exhaustion and that a couple more hours of sleep would remedy the situation. I got the baby out of his crib (didn’t even change his diaper), fed him, and put him in the bed with me. We nodded off within fifteen minutes, and I caught another hour or so of sleep.
Still feel like I want to crawl back under the covers and sleep the day away, but Rosco spit up on the sheets and I have to change them first. I’m thinking it’s mastitis. I’ve got a milk stash built up in the freezer, but if I have to keep pumping that side anyway, I may as well just feed the kid directly.
I just want to walk, stooped over, around the house going “Ugghhh, uggghh,” to nobody in particular and fe
We should have kept our asses home. 2007-05-28 21:49:00 {summary}Yesterday, sorely in need of something educational to do, I scoured the ‘net for local historical sites to explore and after Rosco’s nap we headed towards Hillsborough to do a walking tour. Unfortunately, it wasn’t particuarly enjoyable because of the heat. The thing I really wanted to see, the Occaneechi Indian Village, was overgrown and incomplete (wish the website had revealed that information). Also, a couple of the sites we wanted to visit were closed (for Memorial Day, I’m guessing), although the signs said they should be open. We decided to try to get something to eat, but the one little restaurant we went into had just closed (I think it was 3 o’clock). We called “fuck it” and drove back towards Durham.
Somewhere on US-70 Business in Orange County, we decided to head to Brier Creek to get an early dinner and maybe poke about the shops We used to have an O’Charley’s here in Durham nea
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