Owner: Snarky Momma URL:http://www.snarkymomma.com Join Date: Sun, 25 Feb 2007 14:45:42 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Snarky Momma is a blog written by and for the mom who doesn't have it all together. Our hair isn't combed, our pajamas don't match, and our babies are usually dirty. The Snarky Momma doesn't feel guilty that her baby has been wearing the same onesie for t Site statistics:Click here
And the walls go tumbling down… 2007-04-10 11:22:01 {summary}Generally speaking, I’m not the weepy, sentimental type. It’s really hard for me to get the warm fuzzies, and I haven’t always been that way. When I was a kid EVERYTHING made me cry. I believe an apt term for my disposition would have been “hyper-sensitive.” I was so tenderhearted that the sight of cute puppies would turn me into a blubbering mess. I don’t know what happened. Maybe some teenaged boy broke my heart or perhaps too many mean-sprited comments from family members caused me to crust over, but eventually I was able to shut off most outward displays of emotion. The only way you can tell if I’m happy or pissed is to study my eyebrows and try to decipher whether I’m pouting or smirking. I’ve effectually taken on the countenance of an android: don’t take it personally if you meet me and I seem bored - I’m really smiling on the inside.
The thing about having a ki Read more:hellip
Hey, hey, Rosco, over here! Look! Hey, son! Look over here! 2007-04-13 01:02:00 {summary}I took Rosco
to one of those Gymboree level 1 preview classes yesterday and have learned something new about my son.
He has the attention span of a gnat. The class we were in only had two other babies in it as an entire group had just graduated up to level 2, however both babies were a few weeks older than him and seemed very eager to focus on whatever the activity was. When their mommies were playing with them and interacting with the toys, they would appropriately grab and watch them as intended. Rosco? He was too busy watching the other babies and trying to eat my neck. He did, however, show off by rolling over (twice) and intimidate the other baby boys by showing them how to do the hundred (the instructor commented on his strong abs).
Come to think of it, I don’t know if it’s just that he’s distracted, or if he simply has his own agenda and I’M the one distracting HIM. He likes watching people, so whenever one
Case Closed 2007-04-12 10:06:01 {summary}Remember when I said that I couldn’t tell who Rosco looks like and commented on how much it bothered me?
Well, his most recent growth spurt has put an end to all that.
Exhibit A:
Scott, 1973
Rosco, Sunday
Exhibit B:
Scott, 1974?
Rosco, Sunday (you can enlarge this one)
Well, that puts an end to the mystery. Read more:Closed
Rosco finds his lungs. 2007-04-11 08:48:00 {summary}It would seem that Rosco
has figured out how to do a particularly annoying thing. Holler.
I don’t mean cry. I don’t mean scream. I mean holler. Hollering requires one to reach way down into the diaphram to pull out the most gutteral noise possible and then eject it from the body with as much force as is available.
These are little boy parent-control tactics. That baby stuff has long since ceased.
Step 1: Get Off Ass 2007-04-14 03:16:01 {summary}Here’s another “oops” for you. We had dinner very late last night because Scott was working on some project or other and didn’t get home until 10ish. As part of my great desire to get rid of some of Sunday’s Easter dinner leftovers, I put the greenbean casserole in the oven to heat through. Scott didn’t want veggies, so I asked him to just turn the stove off. Guess who left stringbean casserole to turn into a pan full of nasty overnight? Yeah, oops.
I can see you turning your nose up at the burnt-on grease on the bottom of my oven. Did I not tell you I wasn’t doing so great with the household chores thing?
I used to care: truly, I did. After I graduated from college and had some time off before going to work, I had the household routine thing down. Know why? Flylady. I was a Flylady devotee for at least a few months before the constant reminders to take out the trash and
I’m cracking up, here. 2007-04-13 20:06:01 {summary}Look, I don’t claim to be the greatest housekeeper. This place hasn’t been spic-’n-span since before we got our first cat in 2004. Even then the house was in a constant state of destruction because of all the renovating we’re doing. My floors aren’t sanitary, and yes, there are cat hair wads being blown around by the air system. I’m embarrassed about this, really I am. I’d like nothing more than to be able to put my baby on the floor and let him explore without having to put down some kind of covering to protect him from the dirt tracked in by Scott’s shoes and cat fuzz.
Really, both of these cats are very close to being put out, or whatever the legal means of surrender is. Puffy moreso than Bodie, although Bodie may be catching the brunt of my anger right now because of Puffy.
See this?
Fresh cat piss, courtesy of Puffy. The damned cat does this all the fucking time. She&rsq
Words? 2007-04-16 22:00:01 {summary}
Okay, so I’m a little annoyed, and I know I have no reason to be. He knows not what he does (nor do other blogger babies):
Best Oma
Journey Mama
Shotgun Daddy
Pie Pants
Published in a real book, so must be true.
I’m uncertain as to whether this’ll go down in the baby book as “first word” being that he’s just spouting mouth garbage at this point. When he starts calling only one person/thing “dada” I’ll consider it a word.
Or when he says “mama.” Mama is always a word. Period. Read more:Words
There’s something in my ears. 2007-04-16 20:56:00 {summary}I was turned on to podcasts during my pregnancy with Rosco. Prior to that I used my iPod solely for having music that was bearable to listen to at the office handy. Otherwise, I had to endure my co-workers’ ridiculous penchant for repetitive top-40 hits and techno so loud it could make your heartbeat erratic. I was preparing for my hospital stay by scouring iTunes for interesting listening/watching material to have in my ears during my [would-be] long delivery, and I picked up a few streams I still listen to to this day. Others I’ve recently added to my line-up and have been enjoying very much as well.
You don’t need to have an iPod to listen to podcasts, nor any other MP3 player for that matter. Generally, you can listen to them in whatever audio playback program you have installed on your computer, assuming that it isn’t as old as you are.
Here are a few of my favorite parenting/mom-related podcasts I like to listen t Read more:something
Road trip! 2007-04-16 10:55:00 {summary}As a part of Scott’s very laid-back birthday festivities, we drove East to spend some time with the in-laws. I grumbled at this because I could have been home cleaning (not that I would have really, but still). I feared leaving the cats here for a couple of days without human supervision after Puffy Savage’s last present in the kitchen, but locking her out in the laundry room would is basically an invitation for her to turn feral, so...yeah.
The house does smell like cat pee (the more I type about this, the more I realize that NOBODY reading this will ever want to visit me), but I don’t know if I’m smelling new puddles or if spending a couple of days away has merely reawakened my olfactory sensitivity. The first nice day we get this week I’m going to throw open the windows and disinfect the place. Seriously. I mean it.
Anyway, more on the trip. As much as I hate to cocoon myself at home, there are ple
Rosco’s new trick 2007-04-16 08:35:01 {summary}"Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-moo-moo-gloop-da-da-da-da-gloop-*razz*-Squeeeeeeeeee!-da-da-da-da-YIP!”
x100.
At bedtime.
He has apparently learned that moving his lips creates new sounds and has been eager to practice every single one of them. Loudly. Read more:Rosco
I’ve got legs, and I know how to use them. 2007-04-18 11:23:01 {summary}I bit the bullet and bought shorts today. Last year I had a great excuse not to have to buy shorts: I was pregnant and didn’t want to spend the money for something I couldn’t even wear to work (even though as of Labor Day I had quit my job, storming out in a furious hormonal rage and exuding an aura of kiss-my-assitude). The year before that I was a bit zaftig because of monthly shots of Lupron Depot and wouldn’t have shown my knees to the world even if my leg hair was on fire.
I really don’t have an excuse this year. I’ve lost most of the weight that needed to be lost. I still have a bit of knee bloat, but I’ve had that since birth (even when I was in top physical condition umpteen years ago I couldn’t trim down the knee pudge). I’ll have to find a picture of me from my teen years to show you what I mean.
Do you know how humid it gets in North Carolina by early summer? So hot that t
The Name Game 2007-04-17 20:30:00 {summary}Yesterday I was sorting through an old stack of magazines as a part of my step-by-step-clean-this-damned-house spree. You know the chore: tearing out the one or two recipes or patterns you need from the magazine and then ditching the rest.
I was flipping through a Southern Living and landed on the “Southern Journal” page. In the February 2005 issue writer Amy Bickers Mercer discusses the phenomenon on naming the grandparents upon the occasion of the birth of their first grandchild in “The Grand Title Fight” (p152). No, you didn’t misunderstand me: naming the grandparents, not the grandchildren.
Some people take for granted that when the first grandchild is born, grandma and grandpa will be called just that. if you’ve ever lived a day in the South you know full well that those monikers just aren’t colorful enough for our everyday vernacular. Mercer anticipated this problem while she was still pre
Dentures by 40 - you wait and see. 2007-04-20 00:37:01 {summary}My teeth hurt.
I went to the dentist this morning for my annual semi-major dental work (fillings, root canals, wisdom tooth extraction - you know the stuff). It would seem that one by one my molars are giving way to cavities. I’m not certain, but I’d estimate that I have at least seven tiny blocks of silver amalgam in the back of my mouth at this very momemnt.
The upper-left quadrant of my face is numb from the Novocaine which is causing a twitch in my left eye. Further, the twitch is causing my contact lens to shift around. The shifting lens is creating blurred vision. The blurred vision is causing me to blink non-stop. I look like a freak.
I haaaaaaaate how Novocaine always takes so long to wear off for me. I’m trying to kiss my kid and whenever I pucker my lips up I feel like only one side is moving (the kiss itself is obviously most unsatisfying). It also feels like my bite isn’t lining up anymor Read more:Dentures
Snarky History 2007-04-22 12:59:00 {summary}If you’re the super-observant sort you may notice some posts from early 2006 appear from out of nowhere (see archives in sidebar). As this blog didn’t exist during that time you may be wondering if I’ve travelled back in time - don’t worry, they’re legit. They’re from my other blog which died a painless death in its sleep this past week.
One by one I’ll be transferring over posts about my pregnancy with Rosco and other momma-related stuff...I may even throw in some stuff from as far back as 2004. Enjoy the vintage snark! Read more:Snarky
, History
Mommy’s Quarter-life Crisis 2007-04-21 22:29:01 {summary}The past week has been excruciatingly stressful for me. Monday and Tuesday were okay by most standards of normalcy, other than the fact that I spent them dreading Thursday and Friday. Wednesday dealt me the unexpected blow of having to make a last-minute trip east to visit my mom in the hospital under my sister’s request (as she was freaking out). Even yesterday as I was done doing what it was that I didn’t feel like doing all week, I still felt stressed and like the process would repeat all over again on Monday. Can I catch a freakin’ break here, please? Add to that the fact that Puffy Savage made TWO piss puddles in the house in the midst of having guests over and I was at the end of my rope.
It did help a lot to take my mind off things and stroll around the mall yesterday with Aisha and the kiddos (even though the senior kiddo was intent on giving mom a heart attack). We stopped by the newly-opened Sephora and sniffed Read more:Mommy
, Crisis
A place for everything, I suppose. 2007-04-21 08:05:01 {summary}I must be losing my mind. I was on the phone with my sister a few hours ago while I was giving Rosco horsey rides on my knee. I was trying to reassmble my nursing bra while I was on the phone and couldn’t find the pad for one side. I looked around for it, shaking out my shirt and pants legs and it just seemed to disappear.
I finally found it just now. In my Palm Pilot case.
There must be gremlins about.
Shameless Self-Promotion 2007-04-23 23:59:00 {summary}I’m a bit of a contest ho - if there’s a contest that looks like it’s legit and the prize is of some value to me, I enter. In fact, that’s exactly how I found myself in possession of two free round-trip tickets to anywhere within the 48-contiguous United States (I was a finalist in that Burger King/SW airlines promo last year). I never really think I’m going to win, but it’s fun to enter, consider how sweet the prize is, and then forget about it only to be told later on that I’ve won something. Woo hoo!
Well, guess what? The Rosco you know and love is in a photo contest over at the “Blink...and it’s done!” website. Blink is a line of Honeywell cleaning and organizational products designed to keep your mommy car from turning into a dirty disaster that requires a hazmat suit to clean up. Several weeks ago, I sent in a photo of Rosco in the car surrounded by all of his baby gear.&nbs Read more:Shameless
Teeny tiny earthquakes, courtesy of Ram Jack. 2007-04-23 22:20:00 {summary}
We’ve got dudes outside waterproofing the foundation. That means that there’s a strong possibility that any window I walk past I can be seen through. Fortunately for them I have a doctor’s appointment today and inserted a shower into my oh-so-packed schedule.
It would seem that our house, like many others in this part of the state, is built on clay. As the weather shifts, clay hardens and softens, cracks and expands. So, your foundation shifts around more than the usual amount caused by age and settling. Since we’re about to have our kitchen floor ripped out and subfloor replaced, we figured it was as good a time as any to fix the foundation and have a more reliable system installed that doesn’t involve relying solely on concrete piers. Putting tile down would be absolutely pointless if they’re going to crack soon from the foundation shifts, so here we go.
I always get a bit skeeved out when there ar Read more:earthquakes
Baby was a rolling stone. 2007-04-27 02:45:01 {summary}
See where the baby is?
I assume you know where he started.
No, he’s not crawling. Kid can’t even sit up yet.
It would seem the kiddo has learned that he can roll from back to front, then front to back, and then repeat to make himself decidedly more mobile.
I walked away for three stinkin’ minutes...okay, maybe five, but all the same he could have found himself in a cat fur patch, puddle of previously undetected kitty piddle, or worse.
I guess it’s time to start babyproofing.
Gifts for the unconventional gal 2007-04-25 22:45:01 {summary}This is so totally the perfect gift for someone like me: Hellraiser Homemaker Limited Edition Kit.
Those who know me well know that I’m not a huge pink fan, but in this instance it’s almost a bit ironic, ya know?
“The limited edition kit includes a Hellraiser Homemaker Apron, pink wooden mixing spoon for baking and spanking and a handful of mouthwatering recipe cards. ”
Baking and spanking. Heh! Read more:Gifts
, unconventional
Glad my yard is comfortable for someone. 2007-04-25 06:19:00 {summary}
See that? Of course you do. That’s a microwave on my deck. The handy dandy foundation repairdudes seemingly carry it around in ther truck from job site to job site and just plug it in wherever there’s an outlet available. That way they can have a hot snack whenever the mood strikes. No matter that it’s 85 degrees out - any decent meal has to be nuked, donchaknow?
I thought that was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long, long time. I had just taken a little peek through the blinds on the French doors leading out to the deck to see if I could sneak outside to take some pictures of their progress while they were in the front yard and saw it sitting there. Next thing I know there’ll be a shantytown formed from cardboard boxes and abandoned appliances set up in my backyard. They’re already napping here:
.
Whatev, husband. 2007-04-24 13:01:01 {summary}I went to visit my friendly neighborhood lady-doc yesterday and of course she did her duty by asking what I was doing about birth control. I insinuated that we were currently utilizing the “wing and prayer” methodology where as consenting, married peeps we go about business as usual and hope that I don’t get pregnant again before my pelvic floor stops feeling like a trampoline.
She reminded me in a kind, yet firm, tone that we’re playing Russian Roulette, and all I could say was “Yeeeeah, I know...” I really don’t want to have another kid before my body fully recovers from having the first one, after that - I’m game for whenever. Think about it - nature has calibrated the female body so that if she breastfeeds her child ovulation doesn’t immediately return to its usual schedule after pregnancy (for most women, anyway - and no, I have no studies to back that up [not that you’d read them]). That way
Room to squirm. 2007-05-01 01:53:00 {summary}I decided that yesterday was as good a day as any to transition Rosco out of his infant carrier/car seat into the convertible seat. When we purchased the travel system, I assumed he’d be able to use the included infant car seat for at least the first full year. Obviously I didn’t know that they grow ‘em big in my husband’s family and that my son would be the size of a one-year-old at five months.
Fortunately we purchased the convertible before the travel system to use in our now non-existant second vehicle, so it’s been sitting in in Rosco’s closet since we bought the stroller. I picked yesterday as the installation day because, well, let’s face it - there wasn’t much else going on here other than trying to bribe the kid to nap. We’ve had a lot of problems with the infant seat installation and it always wanted to wiggle in the middle seat position. I wanted to take my time and get the seat fi
We do stuff. 2007-04-29 10:58:00 {summary}Busy, busy day today. The munchkin and I got up early (for a Saturday, anyway) and went playgrouping with Jax and Owen. We got there a little late because, well, let’s just say that I got distracted. Rosco was in our bed, as is his custom in the morning, and headbutted me around eight o’clock or so. I flicked on the television for light while I fed him and made the mistake of closing my eyes during a commercial break. I slept for another hour before I finally got up to shower. Oops.
Anyway, Rosco had a good time showing off his latest patch of baby eczema and testing out Owen’s Bumbo chair. Both Owen and Jax were sleepy because they actually nap at regularly scheduled intervals *hint hint Rosco*, but my boy got that second wind and kept babbling away as always. I think he gets that from me - I stay awake much longer than I should and then spew all sorts of mouth garbage because my brain is so sleepy.
Next we Read more:stuff
*grumble grumble* 2007-05-04 07:04:00 {summary}It’s back to business as usual in the Snarky house; my stint as a juror ended today at 4 PM.
Let me rewind and explain why being called up to serve put me in such an incredible funk. I’m a stay-at-home mom (yes, I’m stating the obvious, but bear with me). I’ve never stepped foot inside a daycare center - not even when I was pregnant and researching them. Until this Tuesday I had only ever left my boy in the care of others (including Scott) a handful of times - we’ve got that “joined at the hip” thing down pat and he can get really, really screamy when he’s feeling abandoned.
I returned my summons to the court with an explanation that I would like to defer my service because I’m The Kid’s primary caregiver and he’s still a full-time nurser. Didn’t work. I was politely told by the jury clerk that my only out would be a medical excuse. I called on Monday evening to hear
Jury Duty 2007-05-02 06:12:00 {summary}*gives the Italian chin flick to the Durham County judicial process*
More on that Thurday.
Steaming mad. Hulk smash!
Half full/Half empty 2007-05-05 03:53:00 {summary}Today is a good day because as of right now there are no dishes in the sink and dinner is ready to the point of just needing to be put in the oven.
Today is not such a good day because for the past hour I’ve been eating frosting right from the can.
Dang ol’ technology. 2007-05-05 00:52:01 {summary}
I think my little Pentax Optio 60 has called it quits...just months after the warranty has expired, of course. All of the pictures, no matter what setting I put the camera on, are coming out with distortions and dark pixel lines. Tech support says that it’s indeed a hardware problem.
It’s been a good little camera. I wanted a camera small enough to put into my purse so that when I encounter bloggable offenses by the public I could snap a discrete picture and post it for giggles. The camera in my cell phone just wasn’t doing the trick. Other than the fact that it eats batteries like candy, I loved that the controls were fairly simple to navigate and that it turns on with one button. That means when Rosco is doing something cute and funny I wouldn’t have to stumble around trying to turn a bunch and knobs and dials and miss out on capturing the event. Also, it’s not so big and distracting that instead of
(Un)Acceptable Hazards (Opinions, P2) 2007-05-08 22:25:00 {summary}
That was me a whole lot of years ago. I posted this photo because of the Fraulein commented on plastic crib bumpers which made me remember that I, er, had one of those.
As you can also see from the picture, I’m already standing yet the handy-dandy Raggedy Ann & Andy mobile has not been taken down. I’m also in arm’s reach of wodden wall art which I could have taken off the wall and beat myself about the head and neck with. I could have then taken the nail from the wall from which the art had been hanging and pierced myself. Then I could have grabbed that air freshener and eaten it. Then, if I was feeling quite spry, I could have grabbed that curtain and used it to either rappel down the side of the crib or else strangle myself.
And because I’m typing this from my Durham, NC home and not from Heaven, Sto-vo-kor, or some other place, I am obviously still alive.
By contemporary standards of baby safety, I should hav Read more:Acceptable
, Hazards
, Opinions
Opinions are like assholes… 2007-05-08 01:18:00 {summary}...you know the rest, right?*
I’m not one to get my panties in a wad about most issues - I tend to be on the fence about things until I have some personal, first-hand experience that makes me choose a side (which is probably why I didn’t get kicked off that jury). Even when I pick a side, I don’t become particuarly fanatical about it. I offer advice when it is asked of me but don’t try to recruit people to the cause. It just seems that evvvvvvvvverything about parenting becomes a damned “issue.” I hate it when a fellow parent asks me what should be a fairly benign question yet after answering it I feel like I’ve dug a whole for myself.
Okay, that being said, I just don’t get the argument over crib bumpers. We all know what they’re for, right? They’re not there as some unnecessary nursery decor item (in most cases). We actually waffled about buying one for Rosco’s crib bec Read more:Opinions
, hellip
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