Outdoor dining...
2008-05-15 20:23:00
No title
2008-05-15 00:32:00
For those of you blackbirds that are from overseas thislittle danger to shipping is a fantail. Oh yes, they look verycute, flitting hither and thither, catching insects with theirtails. The humans love them, but don't be fooled, they're amenace to all birds. Just the other day I spotted a rather juicylooking worm that had popped its head up out of the groundfor a look around. Naturally, I swooped!
Cat jokes...
2008-05-17 20:15:00
What's the best way to tell cat jokes?Veeeerrrry slowly.How do you know if the cat's beenusing the computer?There are teeth marks on the mouse.What do you call a cat with half a brain?Gifted.How you make a cat's eyes twinkle?Shine a torch into their ear.What's multi-coloured, furry, has hundredsof legs and an extremely low IQ? A
Turn over a new leaf...
2008-05-18 21:00:00
Tough day...
2008-05-19 18:14:00
I've had a busy day. I've dug holes in the lawn, spread leaves and dirt all over the newly swept paths, chased the sparrows awayfrom the bird-table, I've taken bites out of all the persimmon fruit on the tree, I've done droppings on the patio furniture, dive-bombed the cat and all the while peeping constantly.Boy, it's hard work being annoying!
Read more: Tough
Hard times...
2008-05-21 15:53:00
Tips for a bird-friendly garden...
2008-05-22 16:14:00
TIP NUMBER 1Tip number one is pretty obvious really, LOSE THE CAT!But let's face facts, that's not going to happen is it.Still, there are ways of deterring cats from those areaswhere we birds like to feed and bathe.The sort of deterrents I had in mind were: a half-starvedpit-bull terrier, razor wire, high voltage electric fences,a crocodile, land mines...With these few simple measures in place yo
Frosty night...
2008-05-24 03:41:00
Read more: Frosty
Come on global warming...
2008-05-27 17:24:00
Personally, global warming can't come soon enough for me.We birds can lose a third of our weight on a cold night, if youwant to stay slim sleep on a branch! Warmer weather meansmore bugs for us to eat, a longer growing season for fruitswhich gives birds more time to take a peck out of each one.Admittedly there are a few down sides to the heating up ofthe planet, drought, pestilence, food shortages
They're back...
2008-05-26 16:12:00
The riddler...
2008-05-28 23:21:00
Tricks of the trade...
2008-05-29 19:22:00
Have you ever wondered how we birds keep warm at night?No, well I'll tell you anyway. You many have seen the sight ofhundreds of birds roosting in a tree, you humans seem to thinkwe do this to keep warm, but in actual fact we only do this whenthere's a car parked under the tree. Once the car looks like aguano outcrop we all split up and go our separate ways. Hey, webirds have got to have fun too!
Burnt offerings...
2008-05-30 22:11:00
We've discovered the incompetent gardener is pretty useless at cooking as well as horticulture.His wife is away and he's not handling the task of feeding himself too well.The kitchen smoke alarm's battery ran flat after his first two attempts at cooking, it couldn't cope with the constant billowing of smoke from the oven. Of course, we birds get to eat the end results. We've now named him Mt Vesuv
Advice for birdbrains...
2008-06-01 20:21:00
Dear Crumb,For several weeks now I've been receiving emails from someone whosays she is a beautiful East European girl who would like to marry me. Heremails are always marked [SPAM] I think this must be the name of thetown where she comes from. How she found out about me I'veno idea. My question is, do you think I did the right thing in sending her$3000 to pay for her airfare to come over to me?Co
No title
2008-06-01 16:48:00
Crumb's chorus...
2008-06-03 17:03:00
She was late bringing out our food to the bird-table again thismorning. But what can you do, it's very hard to get good staffthese days. We we're all waiting patiently up in the trees, well, therewas a bit of jostling and elbowing with the sparrows but we wereall hungry and grumpy. I'd been up really early in that morning,before first light, to join in with the morning chorus
, twitteringand warbli
Read more: Crumb
iCrumb...
2008-06-04 18:48:00
Did you sleep through today's morning chorus?Great news, you can now get the morning chorus asa podcast. Listen to a whole lot of birds screechingtheir beaks off while you're commuting to work,sitting on the toilet or if you're a twitcher youcan play it through your home stereo system foryour whole family to enjoy! Best of all it's FREE,there is a short advert encouraging people to putmore bread o
Who watches the watcher...
2008-06-05 20:47:00
I'm on cat-watch duty today.I have to track the cat's movements at all times,if it starts heading our way I go ballistic, peepingcheeping and flapping about to warn the other birds.Then they have time to fly to safety and stick theirtongues out at the cat and go NAY NAY NAHHH!I can't understand why the cat hates us so much.Luckily the cat only comes out into the garden whenthe weather's fine. It d
Read more: watches
iCrumb...
2008-06-05 15:59:00
Did you sleep through today's morning chorus?Great news, you can now get the morning chorus asa podcast. Listen to a whole lot of birds screechingtheir beaks off while you're commuting to work,sitting on the toilet or if you're a twitcher youcan play it through your home stereo system foryour whole family to enjoy! Best of all it's FREE,there is a short advert encouraging people to putmore bread
In reflection...
2008-06-08 16:22:00
Read more: reflection
Guest post...
2008-06-09 19:30:00
It's important to consider views other than your own.Today is the start of my guest blog spot, we start withthe bane of my life, the sneaky, treacherous, cunningand seemingly useless cat called Moggy the third."Hi, my name's Moggy the third and I'd just like tosay..."Right that's enough of him, let's get back to ME. Today theidiot gardener excelled himself by attempting to build anest-box. Quite a
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Fight...
2008-06-11 17:48:00
Curry night...
2008-06-13 17:00:00
Tonight is curry night at this household, which means most birdstomorrow morning will have their tongues hanging out and it'll bestanding room only at the water fountain. I prefer to just stick to theleft-over rice, a good feed of rice fills out all the wrinkles very nicely.It's fairly weighty stuff, taking off can be a problem but it'sworth it. I've been known to eat so much rice that my belly bu
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New cat on the block...
2008-06-15 19:05:00
There's a new cat on the block
. This is good newsfor we birds. Ever since this cat turned up our cat hasbeen far too busy marking every blade of grass in his territoryto worry about us. The new arrival looks like a tough critter,unlike our pampered puss, the only thing our cat has everfought is a ball of wool, and he lost! He acts all brave whenthe humans are around, fluffing himself up like a pow
Bun fight...
2008-06-30 20:32:00
Read more: fight
Horrible weather...
2008-06-28 02:13:00
The weather
here is HORRIBLE! Wind, rain, hail and sleet.If you think that's bad when you're a human you should tryit as a bird. One well placed hailstone can knock a birdsenseless for a week! There's been lightning strikes as well.If you can smell fried chicken chances are some poor sparrow'sbeen zapped. Thank goodness for cat flaps. The cat still hasn'tworked out how to use it, but I, the hedgeh
Safety first....
2008-06-22 15:53:00
Read more: Safety
Meanwhile, back at the branch...
2008-06-19 15:53:00
I've been sitting in this tree warbling my brains out forthe last half an hour. This tells all the other blackbirdsin the area that this is MY territory. Because the blackbird population in these parts is ratherlarge my territory is quite small, in fact it's just this branch,well it's more of a twig really, but it is mine. If you want abigger area to yourself you need to fight for it, andsince I'm
Early bird...
2008-07-15 03:08:00
... it's the early bird that gets the worm, but who the heckwants to eat worms at six in the morning? Give me acappuccino and a croissant! We birds rise at first light andare in bed again by dusk, it all adds up to a rather boringnightlife scene. If some one has forgotten to draw theircurtains we sometimes get to watch TV... without any sound!Other than that the night's spent shuffling aroundon a
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Morning grumps...
2008-07-04 21:02:00
Read more: Morning
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