Owner: Funny Emails URL:http://treebeard31.wordpress.com Join Date: Fri, 11 Aug 2006 21:47:18 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: A compilation of emails doing the rounds that have landed in my inbox and those that i have found to be particularly interesting. With over a year of archives funnyemails, some of them the very best you can get...
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Definition of Unnecessary, Like in ‘This Hand Shake Is Unnecessary’ 2008-03-22 12:19:13 THE JEWISH BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Schwartz, Cohen and Ginsburg were all close friends since childhood.
They decided they wanted to go into business together.
Schwartz says: ‘OK! I’ll invest $100,000.’
Cohen says that he’ll put in $200,000.
Ginsburg says: ‘All right, I’ll put in $1000.’
Cohen says, ‘If I’m putting in $200,000, I’ll be the President and CEO
of the corporation. Schwartz, [...] Read more:Definition
, Shake
Is it a porno? Yes. But don’t mention it. She’s shy. 2008-03-25 11:04:50 A young couple, married just a couple weeks, return from their honeymoon to face the beginning of their new lives.
The next morning the husband wakes up, showers, dresses and makes his way to the kitchen where he sees his new wife crying. So the husband inquires, “What’s wrong Honey?” “Well, I came down [...]
“Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast” - Oscar Wilde 2008-03-24 00:16:25 Opportunities present themselves in life. But decisions should be well thought out because all of us have different skills.
Read this story.
A man boards an airliner, takes his seat, and is surprised to find a large purple parrot in the seat next to him. The aircraft takes off and a pretty flight attendant walks down [...] Read more:people
, Oscar
, Wilde
, Oscar Wilde
In my experience, any number of people can be wrong about anything 2008-03-27 01:17:13 Two Swedish sisters go into a photo place to get their picture taken. Not being very educated, they question each other on what the photographer is doing.
When he goes under the black cloth, one sister turns to the other and asks… “Vots he goink to do?”
Her sister answers, “He’s goink to focus!”
The second cries, “Bot [...] Read more:experience
, people
, anything
There aren’t big enough letters on my keyboard to type “WTF?” 2008-03-27 01:02:15 I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.
She looked OK for a 61 year-old.
In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter.
We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I’d ever had [...] Read more:keyboard
Think we are now in a reptilian phase and some of them dont mind being posted here posthumously 2008-03-26 05:10:02 ‘Hello, technical support, how can I help you’ ?
LADY: ‘Last night my computer started making a lot of hissing noise at me so I shut it down. This morning when I turned it on the computer started hissing and cracking,then started smoking and a bad smell, then nothing’.
SUPPORT: ‘I will have a technician come over [...] Read more:phase
Remember Earth Hour - 29 March 2008 2008-03-28 09:44:20 Source: Wikipedia
Earth
hour 2007 - On 31 March
2007, 2.2 million people and 2100 Sydney businesses turned off their lights for one hour – Earth Hour. This massive collective effort reduced Sydney’s energy consumption by 10.2% for one hour, which is the equivalent effect of taking 48,000 cars off the road for one hour.
Image of [...] Read more:Remember
A serious “WTF” is in order. 2008-03-31 00:44:07 “On visiting the website of this Bangalore based Cab Service I discovered that COMFY,SAFY and AFFY stands for Comfortable,Safe and Affordable” - Siddharth Muthyala Read more:serious
Well, guess what? 2008-03-31 00:02:08 This guy manages to get into nightclubs simply by dressing as a DJ.
Greatest Invention Since the Hands Free Cellphone 2008-03-30 23:39:59 There are times when you just don’t feel like smiling at work. For these moments has been invented the happy worker kit. Here are the things you need and also the basic instructions on how to use it: {via} Read more:Greatest
, Invention
, Hands
You can almost hear the banjo play… 2008-04-04 07:43:01 Wedding of the year….
Introducing the wedding party:
First, the handsome groomsmen and the fine looking groom (in red)
Red ties, black ties, no tie. Mass confusion. “Alright, everyone . let’s line up for the picture. Let’s see …… hmmm, where shall we … oh, yes! Perfect! Everyone, please move quickly! Right over there, in front [...]
‘We got burned once, but we’re not going to get burned again.’ 2008-04-02 01:27:41 Introducing Gmail Custom TimeTM Be on time. Every time.
From the past
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, not going
What made me laugh 2008-04-06 01:16:31 Fratty: “Do you even know where your G-spot is?”
Drunk Sorostitue: “Yeah, isn’t it somewhere in your ass? That’s what they always tell me.”…and 24 other hilarious things overheard on campus. {Via}
Spare me some time for some fun 2008-04-06 00:42:46 Have you ever dreamed of being on the cover of a major magazine? Well now you can! MagMyPic.com is the coolest tool. Just upload a picture and instantly create your own magazine cover. Man is this fun.
There’s another site that does this too FakeMagazineCover.com
These sites make it fast easy and fun to create [...] Read more:Spare
Be what you are, give what you can, and the rest of the time, mind your own business! 2008-04-11 02:49:02 At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to Audit the
books of a Synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to
the Rabbi and said, “I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do youdo
with the candle drippings?”
“Good question,” noted the Rabbi. “We save them up andsend them [...]
On the contrary 2008-04-11 02:46:12 Ruth’s baby boy is born with only one eyelid.
“What am I going to do?” she says to her doctor.
“Don’t worry,” he replies, “after the circumcision,we will take the little bit of skin from down there and
make him a nice new eyelid.”
“But if you do that,” says Ruth, “won’t it make him cockeyed?”
“On the contrary
,” says [...]
Catholic Horses 2008-04-11 02:44:05 One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race.
Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race.
Before [...] Read more:Catholic
, Horses
Lets Pun 2008-04-11 02:43:08 Two Indians injected themselves with curry powder by mistake. They are both in intensive care,
One has a dodgy Tikka, and the other is still in a Korma.
AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER’S REPORT:Brickie’s Compo Claim 2008-04-13 01:50:48 **Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer’s accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers’ Compensation board.
**This is a true story. Had this guy died, he’d have received a Darwin Award for sure…….
Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional [...]
BAD = Bad Ass Donkey 2008-04-13 01:46:51 A couple from Montana were out riding on the range, he with his rifle and she (fortunately) with her camera. Their dogs always followed them, but on this occasion a Mountain Lion decided that he wanted to stalk the dogs (you’ll see the dogs in the background watching). Very, very bad decision.
The hunter got off [...] Read more:Donkey
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