Owner: everyday life as lyric poetry URL:catherinemcniel.blogspot.com Join Date: Sun, 18 Feb 2007 22:29:45 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: I'm a mama, a wife, a friend, a believer, a reader, a writer, a thinker, a seeker, sometimes a professor, always learning. Site statistics:Click here
...and he'll never be the same... 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Asher visted the Public Library today for the first time in his life. We walked through the children's floor, past hundreds and thousands of books waiting to be explored."This. Is. Amazing." Asher said (or was that me?)
An Open Letter to myself 1970-01-01 00:59:59 (inspired by Miscellaneous Mum)Dear Me (January 1st, 1989),Hello there! I bet you're surprised to be getting a letter from me...and probably excited and curious too. Yes, no one knows as well as I do how much you love to read and write letters - though, admit it, you almost never mail them. Well, good news for you - something called email and blogging will enter your life in the next decade or so, and you'll get to chat and read and write all you want.Speaking of writing, you'll start keeping a journal soon. I know you've tried and failed in the past, but that was a diary, a toy. This will be you, making sense of the story of your life. In telling the story, you will be shaping and forming who you are and who you want to be. Enjoy it. The things which seem mundane now will be beautiful to you later.I'm writing to you now because there are difficult times coming up. And they're going to last for a long time. I want to encourage you, and let you know that you can make it. I want to Read more:Letter
, myself
The Most Excellent Adventures of the Belly-Laughing Baby 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Today was one of those days where you want to either sit down and have a good laugh, or have a good cry, but you don't have the time to do either. I will spare you the details, but let me just say that Asher and I had a poop experience you wouldn't believe. Which resulted in a bath, where the subject of this story demonstrated that, though he can not yet crawl, he is most eager to swim. Which resulted in a longer than normal nap. Which resulted in a baby, so very very happy, that woke up playing in his crib. When I entered, we played together, him sitting up and me play peek-a-boo with him through the crib bars. I would reach in, grab his feet, and say "tickle the feet!" And he laughed and laughed and laughed. Where's a camera when you need one? Some moments you need to live, not photograph. My heart spilled all over the crib, all over the room, the house and the world. More heart than poop, even. Read more:Adventures
, Laughing
Postpartum Pulchritude 2007-03-01 04:48:00 Since having a baby I've received a number of interesting comments like "you look like a woman now" or "its good to see you looking well nourished" or "so, you've put on a few pounds." A friend asked me what I thought about my 7 months post partum state, and I didn't even need to think before replying - "I've had a baby!" Yes, there are some things that will just never be the same and, lets face it, they were prettier before. But I love my stretch marks. They are the war wounds of a miracle enacted in my body, the invoice for the greatest gift ever received, sleeping sweetly beside me. I realized recently that I no longer care how my body stacks up to our media-saturated standard of female and beauty. Why should I look to an external source to define the feminine and the lovely? Through my body life has been created, sustained, birthed, nourished, comforted. Beat that, Playboy. (And that goes for mother's and non-mother's alike!)Heather and B&P, thanks for starting this Postpart Read more:Postpartum
There's no guilt like Mommy Guilt. 2007-02-28 17:22:00 While I was pregnant, I became extremely frustrated with all the philosophy and advice I received. Not because I didn't want the help, but because it all contradicted each other perfectly. So in response I developed...Catherine's First Law of Parenting = for every website/book/article/class/friend/anecdote/Dr/study/survey stating a parenting philosophy, there is an equal and opposite website/book/article/class/friend/anecdote/Dr/study/survey. Can I get a witness?It started with things like:you must eat salt, or harm the baby; you must not eat salt, or harm the baby.the best thing for your baby is for you to have an epidural; the worst thing for your baby is for you to have an epidural.the best thing for your baby is for you to have an ultrasound and fetal heart monitor; the worst thing for your baby is for you to have an ultrasound and fetal heart monitor.Now that my baby has been born, we have progressed to topics such as: Must get vaccinations vs. Must not get vaccinations (or, in Read more:Mommy
Welcome to the Party! 2007-03-02 19:05:00 You've heard of Block Parties...but a Blog Party
? What could be more fun! Welcome
party-goers, I'm happy to meet you. And the rest of you - why not join the fiesta?I'm serving hot chocolate at this party, which I'm likely to be drinking when I blog. Enjoy!
Methinks the lady doeth blog too much 2007-03-04 03:04:00 Today I was reading a book and the author said something I really resonated with. My immediate thought was "this is excellent - well said! I think I'll post a comment."After a moment of disorientation, I realized that there was no immediate way to interact with the author or other readers. This seemed to me so...archaic.Hmmm.
May I Introduce You? 2007-03-06 03:17:00 Now that the world has had a week to recover from the Academy Awards, allow me to introduce to you a few other "winners." While not as well known as Oprah's Favorite Things, here are a few wonderful things I have recently discovered. (Drum roll, please)...BooksI like to read books that teach me something, that take me somewhere, that broaden my perspective and change me. Many people are surprised to find that I prefer fiction to non-fiction; this is not to say that I enjoy fluffy novels, but that I most highly respect an author if (s)he can not only teach me, change me, and better me, but can do so through narrative. Life of Pi. by Yann Martel This book was referred to me by my friend Mary, and it blew me out of the water (please scroll down for my disclaimer on referrals). In so many ways, this fictional narrative met my criteria and surpassed my expectations. Throughout the pages you find yourself swept away by a well told story, beautiful at times, difficult at times. Only within t
He has shown you... 2007-03-07 00:38:00 Its so simple - in the sense that there isn't a lot to remember or understand or argue about - and so complicated - in the sense that it will take a lifetime and more to actually do it right...He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:36-40)The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)
Is it spring yet?? (or) We'll get 'em this year! (or) My 1st Wordless Wednesday 2007-03-08 00:20:00 Don't tell me the Cubs can't play a good season with a baby this cute on their team...I tossed around the idea of joining the mighty throngs of bloggers doing Wordless Wednesday
s, but I figured it wouldn't really count if I shoved the maximum number of words into the subject heading. *grin* Read more:spring yet
Narnian White Witch blamed for harsh Chicago winter 2007-03-10 01:01:00 Its been a long, cold winter
in Chicago
. Temperatures plummeted to well below freezing...and stayed there. Although Midwesterners are used to cold winters, the past few months have taken cold and ice to Narnia proportions, some say.In fact, a growing number of citizens are beginning to wonder if something more sinister than "El nino" is behind the freezing temperatures. Ideas that the WhiteWitch
may have taken over state and local governments, a theory scorned when it first surfaced, are gaining support."There's just so much ice everywhere" says one young mother. "We have about four inches of solid ice that covers our steps, sidewalk, and association roads. I don't feel that I can safely leave the house with my baby even to walk to the car, much less get out and about." The climate has taken a toll on children too, this woman tells us. "I don't know that my 7 month old has seen the sun since we were in San Diego for Christmas" she reports.Typically by March, Chicago will have seen Read more:blamed
Happy Fish? 2007-03-10 00:41:00 I've tried to avoid being overly opinionated or political on this blog, but this story is too weird, wacky, and horrifying not to post.Just the latest way our consumer lifestyles are rapidly destroying the world around us... Read more:Happy
Hello, Heart 2007-03-11 15:48:00 Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth StoneI fell in love when Asher was born. My heart grew to encompass him. It has not stopped growing, so that instead of being a relatively small thing within a vast universe it has taken the universe up inside itself. How very vulnerable this makes one. Read more:Hello
, Heart
Happy 28th birthday...I think 2007-03-13 21:40:00 Today, my favorite husband is having a birthday. In honor of him, I present to you the following true story.(A few days ago):Catherine: Its almost your birthday! (remembers that Matthew never knows how old he is and asks:) Do you know how old you'll be?Matthew: Um...oh, 29!Catherine: Nope!Matthew: Not 30...?!?Catherine: (laughing) Nope!Matthew: Then I must be 28...? Really? I was so confident that it was 29! Really?! Are you sure?Catherine: This is hilarius - can I post this to my blog?Matthew: Absolutly not. Unless you pay me $3.00.Catherine: Totally worth it!-------------------Happy
Birthday, Matthew. I hope you have a fantastic year. Read more:think
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream 2007-03-14 19:45:00 Last night we three went out for ice cream to celebrate DH's birthday. As I sat down with a bowl of Chocolate ice cream and a pink spoon, Asher's eyes got excited and he opened his mouth wide.When it turned out that the ice cream in question was not for him, he lifted his head and bellowed with high-pitched disappointment.This was loud. Clearly, we would not be welcome in the store for long, neither would we enjoy either IceCream or Birthday. But Asher can't have ice cream, so...As only a tired, frantic, chocolate-starved mommy can, I formulated a plan. One bowl full of water and one pink spoon later, we were spoon feeding water to a very excited and contented baby, in between bites of our own treat. Asher, of course, never knew the difference.(Asher, if you ever read this - I'm sorry for tricking you. You can have ice cream now.)
Wherefore art Thou, Blogger? 2007-03-14 02:37:00 I am very excited to report that I have received my first tag, and have been commissioned to give five reasons why I blog. Ah, let me count (to five) the ways...ranging from the ridiculous to the sublime.5. I started my blog because I needed to stay up late in order to fetch Husband from the airport, and, being pregnant, I needed to do something interesting. One friend had a blog at that time, and it seemed like a good way to tell the world about what books I liked best. So there it is. The bottom line reason. Disillusioning, I know.4. As I mentioned, I was pregnant at the time. Only my closest family and friend knew at this point, and I thought a blog would be an ideal way to announce it, as well as to keep said family and friends informed and updated throughout the pregnancy and baby years. Since a good share of our family (and friends!) are out of state, this was one way that I could share these days with them.3. Also in my mind was a need for an intellectual and social outlet, havi Read more:Blogger
And so it begins. 2007-03-16 15:38:00 For nearly 10 months, I slept each night (or, in some way passed the night) with my baby inside my body. Regardless of where I was, he was there, alway close, always near. Then he was born.We went through seperation anxiety as we learned to be two people instead of one. But every night for the past 8 months, I have slept (or, in some way passed the night) with him curled up next to me. Me in my bed, he next to me in his co-sleeper. Each of us with our own space to roll and stretch, but near enough to be touching. How many times each night did I place my hand lightly on his chest to feel it rising and falling, leaning my face over the side of my bed to rest it next to his?Last night was the first time in nearly 18 months that we slept (or, in some way passed the night) apart. Me in my room, and he in his.As I rocked him to sleep, I felt butterflies of emotion welling up inside me. As I laid him in his crib, my husband was taking down the co-sleeper and packing it away. When I walked int
3000 words or more 2007-03-16 23:03:00 I think these photos are worth at least a thousand words each.
If a tree falls and there is no one to blog about it, does it make a sound? 2007-03-18 16:23:00 For exactly one week my Site Meter was down. It felt lonely.If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? I don't know. If a blogger writes post but cannot access her site meter, do her posts make a sound?I'm happy to see you again. Please come in. Leave me a message and stay awhile.
Meditations 2007-03-21 00:52:00 Superficiality is the curse of our age. The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem. The desperate need today is not for a great number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people. The classical Disciplines of the spiritual life call us to move beyond surface living into the depths...for ordinary human beings: people who have jobs, who care for children, who wash dishes and mow lawns...Joy is the keynote of all the Disciplines. The purpose [is] liberation from the stifling slavery to self-interest and fear.-- Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, pp 1-2This summary struck me after the thoughts that I and others have been having. I can go about my day or go about my dad realizing that I am in the presence of Someone who offers abundant life. I am trying lately to find space and time to allow God to build amid the rubble of my busyness, anxiety, and noise a sanctuary; an open space of peace and love and worship.What a strikingly beauti
Blissful inconvenience 2007-03-22 04:01:00 My life is very inconvenient right now. Let me share just a few examples:I can't even remember the last time I ate a meal with two hands, sitting downDuring holidays, I miss most of the party and most of the dinner because Asher needs something from meAt potlucks and restaurants I realize it would have been better to not even show up, and don't really get a chance to eatI'm not allowed to be by myself, even to use the washroom, without someone whining for me to returnMy living room, who's furniture I saved and worked for so long to buy, is hopelessly cluttered with toys and baby paraphernaliaMy beautiful white bathroom, so lovingly decorated, has any number of rubber duckies, colorful toys and clothes, and tiny sopping wet washcloths strewn aboutAll conversations and trains of thought are rudely interrupted by baby needs or baby brainMy clothes, which I managed to keep nice for so many years, either do not fit, or are stained with milk, spit-up, and worseMy plans and goals have fa
Local neighborhood goes to the birds 2007-03-23 14:48:00 A local condominium association has recently been inundated with violence, residents are reporting.A quiet, safe community just days ago, the warm spring-like temperatures have apparently blown in more than just good weather. Reportedly, two rivals gangs have moved in since the weather began to improve and they show no signs of leaving. Fighting, violence, and in-group/out-group altercations began almost immediatly.Residents are concerned with the effects this is having on their quality of life. One family moved here specifically with the intent of raising children. "We were awoken this morning before 6am because of all the noise and racket outside" said one family, "two of them were having a terrible fight - it got really loud and ugly, they didn't seem to have any control over themselves at all, flying all around, screaming and squawking, chasing each other down, hissing even! It never seems to let up - its been constant noise and conflict since they arrived."One mother feels conce Read more:Local
Odd and Ends 2007-03-24 12:53:00 I am happy to say that I actually like Asher. I enjoy him. I'm happy to be around him. I think he's cool.He's such a laughing guy. One of my favorite things he does right now is to make this little throaty laughing noise which clearly says - "if you were to tickle me, or maybe blow a raspeberry on my tummy, I would laugh...just so you know...." And who can resist an offer like that? Then, the second we show any sign of response he gives this perfect little pre-laugh, the heavenly sound of anticipation laughter. And then we are throwing him in the air and lost in a tangle of tickles and kisses and belly laughing.He is particularly laughter-prone today, for some reason. During lunch, he sat in his chair just cracking himself up over nothing, spewing sweet potatoes at me while he giggled and squealed.Woe to any bully-child out there who steals this laughter from my own sweet little boy. Is it too early for a mother to start dreading elementary and Jr. High school?He's not crawling yet
A whole new world 2007-03-27 01:25:00 You've probably picked up on the fact that I really like to read. Which means that the library to me is like Disneyland. Today Asher and I walked to the library. He's a bit young to really dive into book-world, but he did enjoy playing in the kids play area they have there. Living in our suburb is kind of like living at the UN, or maybe Sesame Street. Most residents are first generation immigrants, and there is tremendous diversity of dress, food, religion, smell, skin, and language. We're one of only two households in our building that speaks English as a first language. I love this about our neighborhood. We spent our time at the library today playing and chatting with a Hindu family from India and a Muslim family from Africa. Later in the day we walked to the park where we hung out with "big kids" who were Indian, Asian, African, Latino, and yes one Caucasian, Americans. I am so, so grateful for the opportunities I've had to study and teach about culture and diversity. I'm blo
He can creep! (backwards) 2007-03-26 19:54:00 Newsflash!Asher, as a rule, hates to be on his stomach. As a result, milestones like sitting up, rolling over, and crawling have been hard to come by, since he just doesn't want to practice. But recently he's begun to respect the value in being mobile and today I put him on his tummy and he started creeping for the first time! (I think this is the correct term for dragging yourself around without really using your legs) Except...try as he might, he could only go backwards. He was already out the room before he broke down in frustrated tears, finding himself so much further from his goal than he had started out. I, however, was cheering and clapping. There's no stopping him now. ------After writting the above, I put him down for a nap. He woke himself up 40 minutes later by rolling over on to his stomach in his sleep! Then later in the day he pulled himself up from sitting to standing. What a day!
Harmony in a beautiful, minor key 2007-03-30 00:54:00 I spend a lot of time wondering how so much beauty and joy can live in complete harmony with so much evil and suffering.It isn't the co-existence that is difficult for me to fathom, but the complete harmony. Think on it for a moment - birth, and death; decay and sustenance. They are truly like two sides of the same coin.Imagine that I have just awakened, for the first time, on earth. I am fully grown, fully conscious, and I am looking around for the first time. As I try to take in my surroundings - the lush vegetation, busy, buzzing insect and animal life, breathtaking mountaints and rock formations, rushing rivers, silent lakes, ancient, stoic trees, demanding oceans- I am overwhelmed by creation, by life, by beauty. It takes my breath away! The sun rising and setting, the whispering of the wind through branches and leaves, the tender love passing between individuals of nearly all species. Surely this is Eden that I find myself in.And yet. This is not, cannot be, my reaction at all. Read more:Harmony
The Deepness of Story 2007-03-31 20:20:00 Amy at Untangling Tales wrote about the story cocoon, that process and place during which a story buries itself within you. I so appreciated her bringing this phenomenon to life with her words that my comment grew up and became its own post...I too occasionally experience this season of deep, rich silence after exposure to a story. To me, it often feels as though the story is working its way through my mind and soul, weaving itself into me until I have been able to untangle its secrets and mysteries and truly bring it into myself. Frequently this sense of casting roots requires quiet contemplation only, but other times brings me back to re-read the beginning chapters, sometimes even the entire book, or to research the movie or story, and find out how it impacted others. Sometimes this ruminating process takes moments, sometimes days. I've done a fair bit of studying and experiencing re-entry culture shock - that reverse affect you experience when returning to your own world after hav
And then, Today 2007-04-03 06:35:00 In honor of Baseball Season's opening day, I offer this story. I was excited for Asher to watch his first game, but we ended up going for a walk during the fifth inning so that he could maintaing his innocence. We walked back into the house in time to see the final pitch of the game. Cubs loose. But an unrelated victory did occur. Today
I wore my pre-pregancy jeans. I was uncomfortable. I looked terrible. But, I was wearing them.
And then, Yesterday 2007-04-02 23:51:00 Yesterday morning at 1am Matthew woke me up and said "I've got some news."This is an ominous way to be awoken.There had been a tornado in town, 95 families were homeless, and he had to go to work. My mind and heart went a million places - was it safe for him to leave? was it safe for us to stay here? were my parents (who lived just blocks from the damage) OK? what about all those people who lost there homes? how was Matthew going to survive the hectic, sleepless hours and weeks ahead? how were we going to survive more days without him?I didn't get a lot of sleep that night, but it wasn't until 10pm that Matthew came home - an impressive 21 hour shift. It took all day for me to shake the terror that struck me when he awoke me with the news. But it will take a lifetime for it to subside in the hearts of those who lost everything yesterday. Read more:Yesterday
Holy Week 2007-04-04 22:44:00 It is not experiences that create faith, but faith that creates experience. The firm lodestone of faith is not provided by the inner experiences of the Spirit, good and important though these are, but by the community with Christ, in the living and dying and rising again with him. -- Jürgen Moltmann, The Source of LifeIn observance of Holy Week, I'm signing off until next Monday.Last year, I blogged in observance of Holy Week, so if you're interested, check out what I'll be doing this week. I'd be honored to hear your thoughts!Ash Wednesday 2006Palm Sunday 2006Passover 2006Maundy Thursday 2006Good Friday 2006Easter Vigil 2006Resurrection Sunday 2006Grace and Peace to you.
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