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Little Johnny and Maths... 2008-03-07 13:37:54 Little Johnny
stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk:
10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound
4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound
2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound
2 bars soap at $.83 each
"How much does that come to?" asked Little Johnny
.
"Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents."
"If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?" said the boy.
"
Little Johnny is back!!! 2008-03-07 13:11:09 Teacher: Why are you late?
Johnny
: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Johnny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
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Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Johnny: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Johnny: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
-------------- Read more:Little Johnny
Indian Hell 2008-03-07 12:51:14 An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at
Miscellaneous, Short Q/A Jokes... 2008-02-29 02:52:10 Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?
****************************************
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
************* Read more:Short
, Jokes
Mental Asylum... 2008-02-29 01:20:26 Crazy Hero
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.
"Mr. James, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck." Read more:Asylum
Funny Mental Facts 2008-02-29 01:06:20 Interesting "Mental" Facts!
Seeing another person yawn makes it likely that you will yawn yourself. Thinking about, even reading about yawning can set you off. People with mental disorders such as psychoses rarely yawn.
The National Institute of Mental Health places fear of flying (acrophobia), second only to fear of public speaking.
Zoanthropy is a form of mental disorder in which the Read more:Funny
Funny Blondes 2008-02-28 14:57:55 Two blondes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven't bagged any.
One hunter looks at the other and says "I just don't understand it -- why aren't we getting any ducks?"
Her friend says "I keep telling you, I just don't think we're throwing the dog high enough."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< Read more:Funny
, Blondes
Computer Jokes... 2008-02-28 14:35:56 There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
---------------------------------- Read more:Jokes
, Computer
Computer Terms 2008-02-28 14:15:40 * PCMCIA -People Can't Memorize Computer
Industry Acronyms
* ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
* SCSI - System Can't See It
* DOS - Defective Operating System
* BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
* IBM - I Blame Microsoft
* DEC - Do Expect Cuts
* CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
* OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too.
* WWW - World Wide Wait
* MACINTOSH - Most Read more:Terms
Professional Jokes 2008-02-28 13:29:11 A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening for people like you."
"Oh, great," the man said, "What is it?"
"It's called the door!"
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A woman rushed into the Read more:Jokes
Little JOHNNY Jokes 2008-02-26 14:26:40 LITTLE JOHNNY Can't Spell
Little Johnny wasn't a very good at speller. One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?"
After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Read more:Jokes
Sardar Jokes 2008-02-26 11:54:32 Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa singh, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate Read more:Jokes
, Sardar
Funny aircrafts 2008-02-25 13:55:56 Birds attacking a so called 'Human Flying Machine'
Is the plane flying so low or the bridge is too high? …I leave it on you… Read more:Funny
Blondes trying to measure the height of a flagpole 2008-02-25 13:29:25 There was three blondes at the University of Texas. The Dean gave them the job of measuring the height of the new flagpole. So they put the flag pole in the base and are then on ladders trying to measure the flagpole.
Finally an architect walks by and sees they are having trouble so he takes the pole out of the ground and lays it down and pulls out his tape measure and measures the pole. He Read more:Blondes
Fun, but facts 2008-02-25 13:18:59 If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would produce enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
Just twenty seconds worth of fuel remained when Apollo 11’s lunar module landed on the moon.
If you attempted to count to stars in a galaxy at a rate of one every second it would Read more:facts
Fun with Mathematics 2008-02-25 13:14:53 The Beauty of Maths
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
Sardars in travel 2008-02-25 13:00:45 After making a trip of South India , Santa Singh ,his wife and his son were returning to punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa
Little Johnny's wisdom 2008-02-25 12:35:26 A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. “Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the Read more:Johnny
, Little Johnny
Q/A Jokes on Blondes 2008-02-25 11:50:19 Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.Q. How do you confuse a blonde?A. You can't, they have always been like that.Q. A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her window seat?A. Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?A. A wind tunnel.Q. How do you confuse a Read more:Jokes
, Blondes
Clean Blonde Joke 2008-02-25 11:34:51 A blonde calls her boyfriend on the phone with a problem.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" he asks.
"It's of a big rooster," she replies.
"All right," he says, "I'll come over and have a look."
When he arrives, she thanks him for coming over and leads him Read more:Clean
, Blonde
Little Johnny and Maths... 2008-03-07 13:35:00 Little Johnny
stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk:
10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound
4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound
2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound
2 bars soap at $.83 each
"How much does that come to?" asked Little Johnny
.
"Twenty-two dollars and...
[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Little Johnny is back!!! 2008-03-07 12:51:00 Teacher: Why are you late?
Johnny
: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Johnny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Johnny:...
[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Read more:Little Johnny
Indian Hell 2008-03-07 12:44:00 An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German...
[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
GOT MILK..?! 2008-02-29 03:59:00
[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Miscellaneous, Short Q/A Jokes... 2008-02-29 02:42:00 Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?
****************************************
Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask I can...
[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Read more:Short
, Jokes
Mental Asylum... 2008-02-29 01:07:00 Crazy Hero
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.
"Mr. James, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to...
[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Read more:Asylum
Funny Mental Facts 2008-02-29 00:59:00 Interesting "Mental" Facts!
Seeing another person yawn makes it likely that you will yawn yourself. Thinking about, even reading about yawning can set you off. People with mental disorders such as psychoses rarely yawn.
The National Institute of Mental Health places fear of flying (acrophobia),...
[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Read more:Funny
Funny Blondes 2008-02-28 14:50:00 Two blondes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven't bagged any.
One hunter looks at the other and says "I just don't understand it -- why aren't we getting any ducks?"
Her friend says "I keep telling you, I just...
[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Read more:Funny
, Blondes
Computer Jokes... 2008-02-28 14:30:00 There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain...
[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]
Read more:Jokes
, Computer
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