Owner: Digital Doorway URL:http://www.digitaldoorway.blogspot.com Join Date: Sat, 08 Mar 2008 07:40:36 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Views of life, healthcare, nursing and spirituality by a 40-something male nurse somewhere in New England. Site statistics:Click here
Persepolis 2008-03-16 06:22:42 Persepolis, the new animated film written and directed by Marjane Satrapi, chronicles her life in pre- and post-Revolution Iran, covering the overthrow of The Shah, the Iran-Iraq War, the rise of Islamic Fundamentalism, and the austerities and deprivations of living in a war zone and under a repressive regime.Based on Satrapi's eponymous graphic novel, the film is lush and terribly poignant, and repeatedly brought my wife and I to tears. The title Persepolis refers to the Persian capital founded by Darius I in the 6th century BC and subsequently destroyed by Alexander the Great.Seeing such a personal depiction of war, loss, grief, depression, violence and political repression was yet another reminder of how it is never too late to count our blessings. This film was also a stark reminder
Stand Up for Tibet 2008-03-19 10:32:53 Considering the tragic circumstances occurring in Tibet
, please consider clicking here to sign a petition urging the Chinese government to show restraint in its treatment of protesters who are calling for Tibetan freedom after fifty years of Chinese control. Another petition is available here, and many people are calling for a boycott of the summer Olympics which are scheduled to be hosted in China this summer. Meanwhile, protests are spreading around the world.China has ruled Tibet since the 1950's after Chinese troops overran tho sovereign Tibetan nation and forced the Dalai Lama to flee or face imprisonment or death. The Tibetan government has been operating in exile since 1957. If you would like to learn more about the Tibetan Government in Exile, you can visit the official website for Read more:Stand
The Blanket of Mindfulness 2008-03-21 22:56:41 The practice of mindfulness defuses our negativity, aggression, and turbulent emotions, which may have been gathering power over many lifetimes. Rather than suppressing emotions or indulging in them, here it is important to view them—your thoughts and whatever arises—with an acceptance and generosity that are as open and spacious as possible. Tibetan masters say that this wise generosity has the flavor of boundless space, so warm and cozy that you feel enveloped and protected by it, as if by a blanket of sunlight.---Sogyal Rinpoche Read more:Blanket
, Mindfulness
Change of Shift, Vol. 2, No. 19 2008-03-20 07:15:10 The newest edition of Change
of Shift
is now available for your reading pleasure. Change of Shift, the brain-child of Kim McAllister at Emergiblog, brings you some of the best blogging by nurses anywhere in the blogosphere. I highly recommend a perusal, and many thanks to Kim for keeping Change of Shift active and dynamic.
Back in the Saddle 2008-03-26 07:02:30 Dear Readers,I have been out of town for the long holiday weekend, visiting family along the Eastern Seaboard. If you and yours celebrate Easter, I hope it was joyous. And if you celebrated Purim, joy and merriment to you as well!Traveling by Amtrak had its ups and downs, but overall it was worthwhile not having to drive all of those arduous miles. (I am also aware that train travel is a good choice vis-a-vis environmental impact). Still, getting around by train in the U.S. is nothing like it is in other countries, and I found myself pining for the timely, clean, and comfortable trains of Europe.Now, here I am back at home, happy to be in my own space, and ready to get back to work once again. Stay tuned for the usual frequent blog posts, and please keep those comments, cards, and letters Read more:Saddle
Friends at Risk 2008-03-28 06:26:37 As I write this missive, two friends are undergoing surgery, placing their lives in the hands of doctors and nurses and anesthetists on this very morning.One friend is having a total hysterectomy in order to control Dysfunctional Uterine Bleeding (DUB) which has been unresponsive to hormones and other non-invasive treatments.The other friend has been suffering from severe headaches and back pain which could not be controlled with any medications. An MRI of the brain revealed a 2-centimeter tumor in the frontal lobe. There are many risks to the surgery, including nerve damage which could result in paralysis or other consequences.I will also mention that the husband of an old friend has multi-organ cancer which has not responded to conventional chemotherapy and he will now undergo a clinical Read more:Friends
The Stream of Connection 2008-03-27 19:10:59 (This is a piece written in my writing group this morning, prompted simply by a powerful photograph of a proud and beautiful African woman with deep, dark eyes staring directly into the camera.....)She speaks of strength and focused determination. She tells me of deeds of goodness and good will. She says that I have the strength to move mountains. She says to not be afraid.As the snows melt and the soil again becomes porous and moist, so too, she says, can my mind. Just as the stream is released from the grip of its icy prison, so too can my mind be released from the places where it has iced over with resistance.She speaks to me of human loss and of what comes after. Her eyes tell the story of children taken from their parents, of women dying in childbirth, of people stricken with illness, Read more:Stream
Here With the Lord Beside Me 2008-03-30 18:58:48 She sits on the double bed in her studio apartment with great dignity, the early morning light streaming in the window. Gospel music plays on a small CD player on a table by the kitchen door. This is our first meeting since I'm just covering for her usual nurse."How are you this morning, _________?""Oh, I'm OK. I'm here with the Lord beside me," she says with a nod of her head towards the CD player. The music plays on."Did you sleep well last night?" I ask."Well, I only slept a few hours. I can't sleep much since the doctors killed my daughter last year."I look her in the eye, and she stares back. Her gaze makes me slightly uneasy, but I hold it."I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter. That must be so hard.""Yes, but He sees me through."We listen to the gospel music for a moment."The
A Neighbor, A Death, and Thoughts Thereof 2008-03-29 21:12:56 This morning, I was walking our dog and noticed a line of cars in front of a neighbor's house. All of the people walking up to the house were dressed in dark colors and the mood seemed very somber. Arriving home, I told Mary that I had the feeling that someone had died. We checked the local obituary and discovered right away that our neighbor---a man of 57 in the prime of his life---had indeed died twelve days ago of cardiac complications. Luckily, the memorial service was today, and we were able to attend and join the community of mourners.The service was held in a local church, the altar still brimming with Easter flowers. The music of Van Morrison played in the background as people filed in and found their seats amongst the pews, and the service itself was a lovely event, replete with Read more:Neighbor
Immeasurable Abundance 2008-04-02 20:54:35 A dear friend who I've known since I was 13 years old sent me the following text message this afternoon:"The essential nature of the Universe is immeasurable abundance."This simple phrase was like a sword of clarity cutting through my day, and I felt quite uplifted by it. I've been worrying about money, work, taxes, my health, our house, chores, the endless list of to-do's.This simple message told me to just take a breath and realize that there is enough time and energy to go around, that it will all get done in good time (and if not, see Monday's post.....)Even more food for thought for a busy mind in the Information Age. Read more:Abundance
Connection and Wonder 2008-04-01 20:14:59 The house was filled with screaming and playing children and I could barely think straight. Trying to fill med boxes and query my patient about her health, I was having trouble concentrating.All of a sudden, I looked up from my work at the kitchen table to see four earnest young faces staring at me. Sensing an opportunity, I decided to set the meds aside for a moment and check my patient's blood pressure instead. The children watched with rapt attention as I wrapped the cuff around their grandmother's arm, their fascination growing as I began to pump up the cuff and place the bell of my stethoscope on the crook of her elbow.Finishing with the blood pressure, I knelt down and offered the oldest girl my stethoscope. I guided the ear-pieces into her small ears and then placed the bell of the
Apparitions and Laughter 2008-04-01 06:51:54 Since everything is but an apparition,Perfect in being what it is,Having nothing to do with good or bad,Acceptance or rejection You might as well burst out laughing! LONGCHENPA
Martin Luther King, Forty Years and Counting 2008-04-04 10:25:16 It was 40 years ago today that MartinLuther
King, Jr. was assassinated on the balcony of a Memphis, Tennessee motel. Like so many others---known or unknown---King worked tirelessly for the rights of others, and he was one more who fell unnecessarily to the unforgiving hand of violence.Race still matters in this country, and it touches every person on Earth, and although King's dream is still not fully realized, we all carry the collective responsibility to see it through. From astronomical rates of incarceration for young men of color to predatory lending targeted at communities of color, there is indeed still a long way to go.In memory of Dr. King, may we all still stand for justice. Read more:Years
, Counting
, Martin Luther
, Martin Luther King
Of Order and Chaos 2008-04-03 17:52:01 I enter the apartment building and stop at the security desk.“Who are you here to see?” asks the surprisingly pleasant security guard. She is a large African American woman, and she regards me with a friendly and curious expression.“I’m here to see Mr. A,” I reply, fingering the ID badge that's clipped to my jacket. “Visiting nurses.”“Oh, God bless you,” she says. “Good luck. Tenth floor, turn right out of the elevator."I travel the ten floors in the briefest of upward journeys, and make my way down the hall, looking at the numbers on the apartment doors. His door at the end of the hall is wide open. I stand on the threshold and peer in. I knock and a voice responds, welcoming me in.“Mr. A? I’m from the visiting nurses. May I come in?”“Sure, sure, come in, come Read more:Order
, Chaos
The Case Foundation's Make it Your Own Award 2008-04-06 10:34:17 I am announcing that a proposal submitted by my dear friend Imre Kepes in Massachusetts was selected as a top 20 finalist among nearly 5,000 entries nationwide by the Case Foundation
for its Make It Your Own Award
s, a grant program that "challenges people from all walks of life to discuss what matters most to them, decide what kind of community they want, and take action together". If you peruse the proposals of the 20 finalists, you will see an amazing array of projects which have the potential to change the world by empowering people within their own communities.I am asking for your support to help Imre Kepes' project be selected by on-line voting to be one of the Final Four to be awarded an additional $25,000. The Case Foundation will also give $2,500 to the favorite charity of the firs
The Widening Circle of Compassion 2008-04-05 10:16:19 Visualize someone to whom you feel very close, particularly someone who is suffering and in pain. As you breathe in, imagine you take in all their suffering and pain with compassion, and as you breathe out, send your warmth, healing, love, joy, and happiness streaming out to them. Now, gradually widen the circle of your compassion to embrace first other people to whom you also feel very close, then to those about whom you feel indifferent, then to those whom you dislike or have difficulty with, then even to those whom you feel are actively monstrous and cruel. Allow your compassion to become universal, and to enfold in its embrace all sentient beings, and all beings, in fact, without any exception.---Sogyal Rinpoche Read more:Circle
, Compassion
Shortages: Not Just for Nurses Anymore 2008-04-07 20:43:12 Doctors are leaving primary care in droves. That's the word on the street. Even my own doctor is leaving our local health center to become a hospitalist. As malpractice insurance goes through the roof, paperwork requirements become more stringent, and reimbursement rates plummet (even for Medicare and Medicaid claims), it seems that more and more doctors are choosing to specialize, leaving the pedestrian boredom of primary care for the sexy remunerative opportunities of various medical specialties.Now, I'm sure that the reasons for a primary physician shortage are far more nuanced than I have so flippantly elucidated here, but the sad reality is that millions of Baby Boomers will begin to retire any day now, and they will all be in need of long-term primary care and preventive medicine in
Mindfulness Journal #5: Intuitive Writing 2008-04-10 09:53:01 The label on my tea bag this morning says "Your intuition is your best friend".Sitting in my writing group, I let the words fly and the keyboard sings beneath my fingers. I do let intuition move my fingers, and I allow the paragraphs to form:The wind blows from behind me and the warm sun feels like a balm against my face and chest. The other writers sit inside in the cozy warmth, and we write simultaneously in a chain of support and solidarity. Cars and trucks go by on the street, and I hear the sounds of birds mixed with the traffic. There’s a hum in the air---the hum of life moving along its inevitable trajectory.Now a small plane cuts across the sky, probably on its way to the local airport. The pilot will land his plane, taxi to his parking area, and exit the plane with a smile. He w Read more:Mindfulness
, Journal
, Intuitive
Mindfulness Journal #6: Mindfulness Conference 2008-04-11 22:57:34 Today I attended an all-day conference on mindfulness and meditation with Terry Fralich, a former student of H.H. The Dalia Lama and Jon Kabat-Zinn. The conference focused equally on cultivating mindfulness, the neurobiology of mindfulness, and how to impart mindfulness practices and philosophies to patients and clients when appropriate.Here are some nuggets:---Two parents and their teenage son are walking across a barren desert landscape. The father turns to the son and says, "Stop asking when we're going to get there already. We're nomads, for crying out loud."---If you have time to worry, why don't you have time to meditate?---In Tibetan, the word meditation means "to become familiar with"---We live in an age of "data smog" and "techno-stress"---Mindfulness
is full-hearted presence, whi Read more:Journal
The Future of Elder Care, Part I 2008-04-13 08:47:49 As my parents, friends and I myself age, I've been doing a great deal of thinking about the state of elder care in this country. The nursing home industry has indeed changed over the last few years, with the lion's share of changes having to do with offering specialized Alzheimer's and dementia care, assisted living, and palliative care for those in need. More and more long-term care facilities appear to be offering services which allow residents to move along a continuum from independent living to complete care, based upon an individual's changing needs. This is a welcome change, but there is so much more that can be done.With the Baby Boom generation beginning to retire, I predict that the care of the elderly will be an enormous field with unlimited growth and employment potential over Read more:Future
, Elder
Learning to Surf 2008-04-15 21:27:21 I spent the afternoon today at a nearby state college at the invitation of a friend who is teaching a credited course on meditation and stress management. Last year, my wife and I went to this same college as guest "lecturers", offering Laughter Yoga to the hesitant and oh-so-self-conscious young students. This time, I was on my own, and while I had trepidations about doing laughter exercises with this age group again, I'm happy to report that the presentation and experience actually met with great success.At the end of the class, my friend offered homework which I myself took to heart. She described a poster from the 1970's of Swami Satchinanda. On the poster was a photo of the Swami on a surf board, robes and hair flying in the wind. At the bottom of the poster were the following words: Read more:Learning
Please Vote Before April 22nd! 2008-04-17 21:08:43 I am announcing for the second time that a proposal submitted by my dear friend Imre Kepes in Massachusetts was selected as a top 20 finalist among nearly 5,000 entries nationwide by the Case Foundation for its Make It Your Own Awards, a grant program that "challenges people from all walks of life to discuss what matters most to them, decide what kind of community they want, and take action together". If you peruse the proposals of the 20 finalists, you will see an amazing array of projects which have the potential to change the world by empowering people within their own communities.I am asking for your support to help Imre Kepes' project be selected by on-line voting to be one of the Final Four to be awarded an additional $25,000. The Case Foundation will also give $2,500 to the favorite Read more:Please
, April
Off to the Southwest! 2008-04-17 21:06:56 My beloved and I are taking our son and his beloved for a short one-week journey to Boulder and Santa Fe. I may or may not be blogging on the road, so please stay tuned and come back soon!Happy Spring! Read more:Southwest
Mindfulness Journal #6: What is Enough? 2008-04-28 20:27:37 Today was the first weekday since we returned from vacation. While Mary went back to work, I did the things I needed to do, little of which involved making money. Picking up the car at the shop, a physical therapy session, shopping, banking, making copies, seeing a friend, walking the dog, making dinner---the day was full.Despite the fullness of the day, nagging voices in my head questioned my motives and my commitments. Why didn't I do more? Why wasn't I more productive? What more could be done?A few hours with a dear friend who lives at a Buddhist retreat center helped to quell those voices. My friend reminded me that I only stopped working full-time three months ago after twelve years of working forty hours a week. When I consider twelve years of work in one hand and three months of my Read more:Mindfulness
, Journal
, Enough
Return! 2008-04-27 18:56:18 We have returned from a wonderful journey to Boulder, Colorado and Santa Fe, New Mexico (as well as a number of points in between, including Ghost Ranch, an old haunt of American painter Georgia O'Keefe).Traveling with chronic pain and Multiple Chemical Sensitivity certainly makes such ventures more challenging. One of the most difficult things for me was feeling quite limited in the amount of hiking and outdoor activities in which I could indulge without significant suffering in its aftermath. Still, I managed to enjoy the outdoors, take less vigorous hikes, and use medication to assuage my pain.Now, returning to New England, I face important decisions as to how to earn enough money while not working full time. Pain is a limiting factor, yet bringing income to the table is crucial while s Read more:Return
Losses and Gains: The Calculus of Change 2008-04-29 20:53:30 Spending time in my former office today as a consultant (something I now do on a weekly basis), I was struck by how sincerely I miss a handful of patients, and how much I truly don't miss a small group of my most needy former patients.After three months of not working full-time following a seven year sojourn of intensive case management, I'm feeling the loss involved in saying goodbye and walking away from a number of close long-term connections. Periodically I think of calling one or another of my former patients, and one of these days I'll probably pick up the phone and do so. Those goodbyes can be hard, and the hellos can now seem equally challenging.The intimate connections nurtured over those years came to be part and parcel of my life, and while that closeness eventually did indeed c Read more:Losses
, Calculus
, Change
Patient Contact: Missing in Action 2008-05-01 13:19:38 My new work life has significantly decreased regular contact with patients, the one-on-one interactions that are part and parcel of most nurses' lives. In a recent post, I mentioned how I'm personally missing some of my former patients and the place that they inhabited in my life. I also find that I am simply missing the types of interactions that can remind me of why I became a nurse in the first place.My current per diem visiting nurse gig is just not panning out, with several weeks going by without my being needed whatsoever. In my other per diem work, actual patient interactions are few and far between, and when I find myself with a patient in their home, I relish those brief moments of connection.Due to my health, I am fiercely resisting the psychologically subterranean urge to take a Read more:Missing
, Action
Wash Away the Pain 2008-05-01 13:18:27 I want to wash the cells of my body with compassion. I want to wash the cells of the muscles that scream in pain at almost every moment of every day. How can I simply cleanse those areas of the aches and pains that dog my every moment? I've imagined removing the offending muscles and scrubbing them on an old-fashioned washboard, then squeezing them out and hanging them to dry in the sun. How I wish that that were possible. But reality reminds me that my muscles are stationary in my body, non-removable and permanent, and for better or worse they are mine for the duration.Wash them clean? Scrub the pain away? Erase the trauma that lives at the root, at the place where the cells coalesce into scar tissue?I enter the offending cells, and I identify the mitochondria and other organelles that li
Pain and the Seeds of Compassion 2008-05-04 06:18:26 There comes a time in life when one decides to surrender to what is, to acknowledge that one has hit a wall. I have arrived at just such an impasse, and while it's not an easy thing to do, I finally have to admit that I feel powerless over my pain.Having worked with patients with chronic illness----including chronic pain---for years, I never saw myself as someone with chronic illness. People with intractable pain and multiple diagnoses were always separate from me, living in a world which I did not inhabit.Now, having quit my job due to the ravages of stress and chronic illness, I admit that I am---at least for the moment---struggling with chronic illness, and that its effect on my life is global and overwhelming.Up until now, I have consistently said that pain would not limit what I do, t Read more:Compassion
Mindfulness Journal: Notes on the Mind 2008-05-08 11:16:13 My mind—an undisciplined animal running amok---brings me little comfort. I need to lose my mind. I need to be set loose from my mind. I need to realize that I am not my mind. Not my mind? Lose my mind? Or perhaps loosen my mind?I feel sad that my mind has its way with me so much of the time. It roams freely—perhaps too freely---dragging me violently along, the way a child will pull a puppy down the sidewalk against its will.Sitting for five or ten minutes at a time is enough to give me pause, to realize the wild untamed nature of my mind.I need a retreat. Read more:Mindfulness
, Journal
, Notes
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