Owner: Best Collection Of eMails URL:http://newmails.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:12:17 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Find funny emails, funny jokes, facts, a whole collection of emails and article that I find interesting with various posts. Feel free to read and look for interesting material for your email or just to brighten up your day Site statistics:Click here
Iraqi's and a blonde 2008-06-11 00:38:00 A guy walks into a coffee shop and sees President Bush and Colin Powell sitting together. He introduces himself and asks President Bush, "How goes the War effort, Sir?" President Bush answers, "We're getting ready to kill 40 million Iraqi
's and one blonde." The gu
Instructor's Name 2008-06-11 00:34:00 An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him."What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor."Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower,
Read that out!!! 2008-06-11 00:31:00 A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a
Little Johnny! 2008-06-12 06:30:00 The teacher at the beginning of the class says:"OK kids, we are going to talk about sexual educationtoday. First we'lltalk about how the human reproduction goes on..."Immediately, little Johnny
raises his hand, and desperately tries to get theteacher's attention. But the teacher, knowing howlittle Johnny is aboutthese things, goes on..."... First, a man a woman have to be in love... " Butlittle Jo Read more:Little Johnny
Experience the Hell!!!! 2008-06-12 06:00:00 A guy died and woke up to find he was in Hell. He was really depressed as he stood in the processing line waiting to talk to an admittance counselor. He thought to himself, "I know I led a wild life, but I wasn't that bad. I never thought it would come to this."Looking up he saw that it was his turn to be processed into Hell. With fear and a heavy heart, he walked up to the counselor.The counselor
Mama's Job :D 2008-06-12 05:59:00 Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you."So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and s
How to Impress the Client 2008-06-12 02:18:00 I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattlea couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introducedmyself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wo Read more:Impress
, Client
5+5=????? 2008-06-12 00:51:00 There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his fingers.One day his uncle came to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired skill.He told the uncle to ask him and addition question. So they uncle asked, "What is three plus four?" The little boy counts it out on his fingers and said, "Seven."The uncle said, "Listen kid, you cant count it out on your hands because some
A Proxy Father 2008-06-12 00:50:00 The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, ''I'm off. The man should be here soon."Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ''Good morning, madam. You don't know me but I've come to....''''Oh, no need to explai Read more:Proxy
, Father
The poor Canadian 2008-06-12 00:43:00 A Canadian
walks into a bar and ordered a beer. The bartender replied, "Sorry, we don't serve Canadians in this bar.""But I'm really thirsty," the Canadian replied. "I'll do anything for a beer!""Okay," says the bartender,"if you can do three things, I'll get you a beer.""First," says the bartender,"do you see that big guy standing by the door? 6'5", 275 pound ex-NFL linebacker who got thrown out
Save Money! 2008-06-11 05:40:00 As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex the husband puts his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the piggy bank onto the floor where it smashes.To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of five and ten dollar bills. He asks his wife "What's u Read more:Money
Nice Help!! 2008-06-11 05:32:00 A Guy is driving his girlfriend home when she decides she wants to go to her friends instead. Her friend lives out of the way so she tells her boyfriend that she would get naked for him if he drove her. The guy says ok and the girl takes off all her clothes. The boyfriend is so busy looking at her that he stacks the car and gets stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. He tells her to go get
Give It a Try....lol! 2008-06-11 05:31:00 A woman is in the delivery room giving birth, the doctor tells her to push. She does and the baby's head pops out. The doctor says, "Oh! Your baby has slanted eyes." To which she replies "Yeah I heard them Chinese men were pretty good, so I decided to give them a try.�The doctor shrugs it off and tells her to push again. This time the baby's body comes out. "Holy Shit, your baby has a white b
No Excuse! 2008-06-11 04:41:00 A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter.After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the stude Read more:Excuse
200 Dollars Job! 2008-06-11 04:18:00 One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what
Sleeping in the Barn 2008-06-12 10:57:00 Three men are driving in a car when it breaks down on an abandoned road: A Hindu man, a Jewish man, and a Polish man. After walking for a few miles, they come across a farm with a barn. Desperately seeking a place to sleep for the night, they knock on the door and ask the farmer if they can sleep in the barn.The farmer says it's OK as long as they don't disturb his sleep or the animals, so the thr Read more:Sleeping
SEND YOUR NAME TO MOON!!! 2008-06-15 05:30:00 The Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter is NASA’s next big mission to the Moon, & it will launch later this year. It will carry a camera that will have 50 cm resolution on the surface of the Moon, a laser altimeter for mapping the lunar topology, a radiation detector to map out the radiation environment of the Moon, and more.But there’s something else it can carry as well: your name. NASA is putt
Lose weight now...Ask me how ;) 2008-06-16 07:55:00 In the year 2000 every other company tried to use the Internet to earn money and make profits. Similarly almost every other company today is cashing on people who are gaining weight. Be it spam emails or any other medium to promote their work, companies have not left any stone unturned to sell their products and they even seem to taste success in their efforts. The diet pills market has observed a
Domain registration and copyright violation 2008-06-17 04:44:00 One of the most important aspects of choosing a domain registration is that it should be non-infringing. This is not an easy task since most unique names have already been registered. The number of useful domain names from the marketing point of view have become extremely limited. Several companies now register variations of their trademark names as a preventive measure against infringement. Read more:copyright
, violation
Husband`s Affair 2008-06-18 04:56:00 A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel.Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. 'I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.'The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph.The husband speaks again, 'I don't want you to try and talk Read more:Husband
, Affair
The Ultimate Rejection Letter 2008-06-25 13:52:00 Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA 34109
Dear Professor Millington,
Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unu Read more:Ultimate
, Letter
Performia International 2008-06-19 03:30:00 One brain is enough to give birth to some company but to keep it running what you need is dedicated staff that is ready to work honestly towards the goals of the company. In many cases the only reason for the downfall of an organization is its lazy staff. Learning from such case studies, companies should prefer to take help of experts when it comes to hiring new professionals for their organizatio Read more:International
COP JOKES....The Police In Humor 2008-07-11 11:50:00 Ten Signs Your Partner Needs A Vacation10. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren.9. He is starting to develop a crush on one of the transvestite hookers he arrested.8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar.7. He wants you to call him "Judge Dredd", and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot.6. He talk to hi Read more:Police
, Humor
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