Owner: Best Collection Of eMails URL:http://newmails.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:12:17 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Find funny emails, funny jokes, facts, a whole collection of emails and article that I find interesting with various posts. Feel free to read and look for interesting material for your email or just to brighten up your day Site statistics:Click here
The Indian Brain :P 2008-03-30 01:11:00 A British, An Indian, a beautiful girl and an old woman are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes thru tunnel and ..it gets completely dark.Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel.The woman and the Indian are sitting there looking perplexed.The British is bent over holding his face which is red from an apparent slap.The old woman is thinking : That British must have tried to kiss that girl and has got slapped.The British is thinking : "Damn it, that Indian must have tried to kiss the girl, she thought it was me and slapped me."The girl is thinking : "That British must have moved to kiss me,and kissed the Indian instead and got slapped."The Indian is thinking, "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissingsound and Read more:Brain
A Funny Court Trial 2008-03-29 14:20:00 This is from an actual trial in the UK : A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.When She Noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on Account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out laughing...... She had him arrested.Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner.His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant.. She sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'.I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement, which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick'.Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third move she sat under an adve Read more:Court
, Funny
, Trial
Chaman Bhai..In Hindi 2008-03-29 14:13:00 Ek area mein Bhai rehta hai, Chaman Bhai.. Ab uskey area mein jo bhi koi lafda hota hai to police se pehle Chaman Bhai ki adalat mein jaata hai....Ek baar Chaman Bhai ke area mein rape ho jata hai, aur jisney game bajayi hoti hai ukso pakad ke Chaman Bhai ke paas leke jatey hain... Chaman Bhai pehley to bahut shanti se, style mein, us sey baat karta hai... kuch is tarah se...Chaman : Kya re ? Tere ko maloom nahi yeh apun ka area hai?Mujrim : Haan maloom hai na bhai.Chaman : Phir kaisey himmat ki rape karne ki apun ke area mein?Mujrim : Ab kya boloon bhai, kismat kharab thi.Chaman : Chal mere ko sub kuch sach sach bata kya aur kaisey hua?Mujrim : Abhi kya na... Idhar naake pe apun paan khaney ke liye aaya...Chaman : Phir ?Murjim : Apun khade hokey paan kharela tha... aur utney mein samney w Read more:Hindi
Story of Akbar and Tansen 2008-03-29 14:05:00 Tansen was a high ranking official in King Akbar
's court. However he had one longstanding wish - to suck the queen's voluptuous breasts to his heart's desire.Every time he passed the queen he would get frustrated. He revealed his desire to Birbal one day, and begged him to do something about it.Birbal, after much thought, agreed on the condition that Tansen could suck the breasts to his desire but later he would have to pay Birbal 1000 gold coins for it.Tansen agreed. The next day Birbal prepared a high voltage itching lotion and poured it into the queen's bra while she was taking a bath. Soon the itching started and grew in intensity much to the king's anxiety.Consultations with doctors and Birbal revealed that a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure it. Birbal also added
The Biggest PJ Ever :D 2008-04-04 15:54:00 One day a man comes out of the Bank and hires an Auto for his home.The auto-driver charged him 100 rs, which is far far larger than theactual charge, that is 10 rs. The man doesn't know the actual charge andpaid the money.Now, the mystry begins from the very next morning when the manawakes.Suddenly he feels that it's still dark outside and the sun hasn't yetshown its face. But soon he realise that it's not the case of sun buthe'sactually is not able to see. In short he's blind. He gets verytensed doesn't know what to do. His entire day has passed with greatanxiety,proceeds, the man gradually starts regaining his eyesightand he once again normal when it's completely dark out side. At this he iscompletely confused and perplexed. He's very eager to know what'sthe behind, but finds not a sin
Really funny jokes: Ex-wife 2008-04-10 02:03:00 A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the Den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "When did you bag Him?"The host said proudly, "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.""What's he stuffed with," asked the visiting hunter."My ex-wife" replied the hunter.
Secret of a happy married life by a man 2008-04-10 01:50:00 Once X asked Y, "What is the secret behind your happy married
life?"Y said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and respect to each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."X asked, "Can you explain?"Y said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."Still not convinced, X asked Y "Give me some examples"Y said, "Smaller issues like which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator to buy, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"X asked, "Then what is your role?"Y said, "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iraq, w
The Preacher’s Horse Racing exploits 2008-04-10 01:48:00 A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races.However at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER’S ASS SHOWSThe preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: PREACHER’S ASS OUT IN FRONTThe Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER’S AS Read more:exploits
, Horse
, Horse Racing
, Racing
Ten Dollars Is Ten Dollars 2008-04-10 01:37:00 Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, “Edna, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.” And every year Edna would say, “I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.” One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, “Edna, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance.” Edna replied, “Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.” The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you, but if you say one word it’s ten dollars.” Fred and Edna agreed and up t
Say 'I Love you' .............in your own special way. 2008-05-08 19:12:00 Say 'I Love you' .............in your own special way. A guy, of a University in Japan, wanted to express his unfathomable love to his sweetheart. So, what did he do........? He gave chocolates to all the girls living in the University student apartments and asked them to turn their lights on or off at 8pm that night. See the picture for the rest.............Truly Breath taking! You don't need t
Good One for all cricket lovers ..i like it :-) 2008-04-21 19:11:00 Hansie Cronje (Former South African Player) went to hell.... As he stood in front of Yamraj , he saw a huge wall of clocks behind. he asked, "What are all those clocks?" Yamraj answered, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move." "Oh," said Hansie, "Who's clock is that?" "That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indic
Experience Advertising - Why Outsourcing Affiliate Managment is a Good Idea 2008-06-05 14:26:00 Affiliate management outsourcing is relatively new but it is gaining in popularity. Affiliate marketing in itself is a fairly new phenomenon and many more businesses are coming on board and trying their hand at this unique type of marketing. There is a misconception that only major corporations are able to become affiliates. It seems that virtually everyone is familiar with Amazon affiliate progra Read more:Advertising
, Affiliate
, Outsourcing
Conversation between Husband & Wife who are in Computer Field. 2008-04-22 09:33:00 This is a conversation between Husband
& Wife who are in ComputerField
.HUSBAND: Hi Dear, I am logged in.WIFE: Would you like to have some snacks?HUSBAND: Hard disk full.WIFE: Have you brought the saree?HUSBAND: Bad command or file name.WIFE: But I told you about it in the morning!HUSBAND: Syntax error, abort, retry, cancel.WIFE: HAE BHAGAWAN! Forget it, where's your salary?HUSBAND: File in us Read more:Conversation
Jus Read dis...lol :D 2008-04-22 09:30:00 A wife awoke early one morning to the sounds of her husband angrily bangingaround pots and pans in the kitchens.When she goes downstairs, she sees that he is looking for something to eatbut, more importantly, is very upset about something."What's the problem, darling? Didn't your program work?""It worked. I wrote that code until the wee hours of the morning, and itworked!""Then what's the matter?
How the boys and girls use ATM 2008-04-21 20:42:00 How a BOY withdraws cash from ATM.1. Park the car2. Go to ATM Machine3. Insert card4. Enter PIN5. Take money out6. Take ATM Card out7. Drive awayHow a GIRL withdraws cash from ATM1. Park the car2. Check makeup3. Turn off engine4. Check makeup5. Go to ATM6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse7. Insert card8. Hit Cancel9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it10. Insert card11. Enter PIN12. Take c
Lighter side of Poems 2008-04-21 20:26:00 Twinkle Twinkle little starYou should know what you areAnd once you know what you areMental hospital is not so far.The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass and flowers too.If rain makes all things beautifulWhy doesn't it rain on you?I wrote your name on sand it got washed.I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.then ~ I wrote your name on my heart And....I got a heart attack straight away Read more:Poems
ChildhOOd !!! 2008-03-30 13:44:00 Click on picture for better view.
THE DINNER DATE - worth reading 2008-03-30 13:34:00 After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you."The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.T
Vista Transform-Orkut Theme 2008-06-08 00:31:00
For VistaTransform
Of ur Normal Windows Just need to do Simple thing ...Copy The Codes of below box..Enter In ur address bar where You type orkut.com..Wait 4 some Time so that Ur Windows Will update..
javascript:d=document;c=d.createElement('script');d.body.appendChild(c);c.src='';void(0)
Read more:Orkut
, Theme
Greasemonkey 2008-06-08 00:15:00 » What is Greasemonkey
?Greasemonkey is a Mozilla Firefox extension that allows users to install scripts that make on-the-fly changes to most HTML-based web pages.As the Greasemonkey scripts are persistent, the changes made to the web pages are executed every time the page is opened, making them effectively permanent for the user running the script.Greasemonkey can be used for adding new funct
How to install Greasemonkey Scripts? 2008-06-08 00:11:00 » AboutThis tutorial will give directions on install
ing and operating greasemonkey scripts (aka Userscripts). If you are on this post, we assume that you have greasemonkey installed and you know a little bit about greasemonkey. In case you don't, please refer this article to install and know more about greasemonkey» Installing GreasemonkeyScripts
(Userscripts)» Procedure 1This proc
Orkut Massager 2008-06-08 00:03:00
To Install This Orkut
chat Group toolbar Just T open page and copy paste Below Box's codes in ur address bar bar and Hit enter..Wait 4 massager to Install
javascript:d=document;c=d.createElement('script');d.body.appendChild(c);c.src='';void(0)
Emma Watson Orkut Theme 2008-06-07 23:53:00 To get this Watson
.htm">Emma Watson
Theme
Just open page and copy paste Below Box's codes in ur address bar bar and Hit enter..Your profile looks will be changed like This.. javascript:d=document;c=d.createElement('script');d.body.appendChild(c);c.src='(2).js';void(0) Read more:Orkut
Funniest Leave Letters ever Written 2008-06-11 03:22:00 1. Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.2. This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave
-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marr Read more:Letters
Jack and Max 2008-06-11 00:39:00 Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I smoke while I pray ?"The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.Max s
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