Owner: Mostly True Stories URL:http://www.padandpanty.blogspot.com Join Date: Wed, 14 Feb 2007 04:17:56 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Somewhat authentic tales from nursing school, labor and delivery, catering and the bathroom. Site statistics:Click here
Be Careful Not to Dry Out Your Vagina! 2008-01-17 11:56:00 Suzanne's most recent post reminds me of when Kenny and I were dating. I really wanted to take a hot bath one night at his house, but his tub was really yacky looking. Those of you who know us might be surprised by this, because Kenny is really the better housekeeper of the two of us. But he was a showerer and, like most showerers, didn't necessarily scrub the tub out regularly -- although it did get some sort of cleaning on a regular basis. On the other hand, I am very messy, but scrub my tub till it shines on a regular basis (because I'm a bather more than a showerer.)Anyway.Do you have any comet? I asked him.No, but I just cleaned the bathroom from top to bottom a few days ago. That tub is just really stained. But I guarantee that it's clean. So I drew my bath and soaked in it fo Read more:Careful
Surprise! 2008-01-17 09:34:00 I hate being on call. We alternate between taking 12 or 8 hours of call per month. I don't mind working my call, but I despise being at home waiting for that phone call to come. So, every once in a while, I sign up for 4 hours of call at the end of a 12 hour shift -- I like to see my old night shift peeps and I generally know as the day progresses what the odds are that I will be asked to stay. One day last week, I had a really busy day. I had a pretermer on mag and another pretermer with a partial abruption on observation. Although this could have been a really easy assignment on night shift (my former home), the perinatal specialists come to see the antepartums during the day and they can be pretty high maintenance. Add to this the fact that I don't know any of the specialists beca Read more:Surprise
Just Thinking 2008-01-16 13:08:00 So, first of all, I called in sick to work today. And I feel guilty. I really am sick -- I've got some kind of stomach virus -- I'll spare you the gory details. I think I faked sick too much when I was a kid, or something -- I'm not sure I was ever actually sick as a kid -- but you'd never know that from how often I went to the nurse's office. I could be stroking out and I'd still feel guilty calling in sick.I wrote a post yesterday about an awesome birth that I was involved in and a doula, whose beautiful blog can be found here, left a comment that at first made me feel defensive, but then made me think.When I decided that I wanted to go into L&D, I really believed that the medical model of birth that prevails in this country was flawed. But then I started working in L&D. Ma
Going Natural 2008-01-15 20:43:00 So, today I had one patient all day long. She was being induced because her baby was past-due. To put it mildly, she didn't tolerate the vag exam. Hated it. It was really uncomfortable for her (not that its fun for anybody, but some people tolerate it better than others). She was planning on going natural because she was afraid of needles. This was her first baby.Whatever. When her doctor came by and checked her, he encouraged her to get an epidural because, well, the baby's head was going to be a lot bigger than two of his fingers...During one vag exam, the doc actually had to ask her to unclench so he could get his fingers out.I offered her an epidural several times. (I support people going natural, I really do. But I was really worried about her -- usually if you can't tolerate Read more:Going
, Natural
Second Time Around 2008-01-14 09:02:00 The other morning I got report from T (a night shift nurse) on a patient. It was her second baby, no risk factors, she was a health care professional, yadda yadda. I looked over her chart and then went into her room to meet her. Hi, my name is Working Girl....Hey, her husband said, we had a Working Girl 3 years ago with our first baby....but I think she was a student...Ok, it was me and I wasn't a student, I was a "nurse resident." The thing was? I got her vag exam all wrong. I checked her after her epidural (before the epidural she had been 3 cm) and called her 3-4. But then she told me she was feeling pressure like she had to poop, so I called my preceptor in to check behind me. She was complete and ready to push!! What happened? One of two things. Either she changed really fas Read more:Second
Vaginaromatherapy Revisited 2008-01-08 10:57:00 The other night I had to admit a stinky patient. She wasn't stinky in a stale "I never bathe kind of way," but rather in an "I worked hard all day and then accidently went in to labor before I could shower" kind of way. I didn't really have a problem with this. It isn't my favorite thing, but, what are you going to do? Her water broke, and she went right to the hospital -- just like her doctor told her to do. Then her husband and sister arrived. Apparently, they had also had hard days at work since they last got busy with some soap and water. This was definitely a bummer. The patient was a primip (first time mom) and this labor might take a while! She labored all night long, and when I left in the morning, she was nowhere near complete (ready to push). The the next night, I am assigne Read more:Revisited
Baby Daddy Tips 2008-01-06 08:02:00 If you're a guy...and your significant other is having a baby...I'm going to give you some tips ok? Because, over the holidays, you guys fucking wore me out being stupid and not supportive of your partners. (Not all of you -- some of you were so awesome and loving that you made this jaded old nurse cry with joy that there are such good men in the world.)But, anyway...Don't bring your video game system to the hospital. You can not hook it up to the TV in her room. I will not help you with that. I mean, really, are you fucking kidding me? You want to play while she's in pain?When I wake you up in the morning to tell you that a room finally opened up on the mother baby unit and we need to move, please do not tell me to go ahead and take your wife up while you sleep for a couple more hou Read more:Daddy
Congratulations! It's a Mucus Plug! 2008-04-15 19:39:00 When I have a patient in labor, I have to make sure that I chart pretty much every single little thing that happens. But, especially, I have to chart certain milestones. Like...your due date...the first day of your last menstrual period...when your labor started....when your water broke, when your cervix in dilated to 10 cm. When the baby is born...when the placenta is delivered. But, you know what IS NOT A MILESTONE? When you lost your mucus plug. I don't really care. Your doctor doesn't care. Your midwife doesn't care. If you call your midwife at 3 am to tell her that your mucus plug is currently exiting your vagina? and she tells you to put it in a baggie and take in to the office the next day to show the other midwife? She's probably really mad at that midwife (or has a rea Read more:Congratulations
, Mucus
I've Got a Call on Line 2 2008-04-17 19:38:00 We have a bathroom in our nurses' lounge. On my first day of work, I got oriented to the bathroom by one of the other nurses:No pooping in there.We eat all our meals about 3 feet from that toilet, so it just makes good sense. But where can we poop? Most of us work twelve hour shifts. We poop at work. It's just biology, dude. People poop - even nurses. Well, there is a toilet in the recovery room, and one in the preop area. These are both good choices as long as there aren't any patients in recovery or preop. There is also a bathroom in the sterile supply room. The sterile supply room potty is my favorite. It's pretty private and you have access to a sink -- in case of, well, extra messiness. However, recently, one of our nurses decided that we shouldn't be pooping in their beca
Baby in the Bed 2008-04-20 19:17:00 So, I kind of knew that the day was going to suck when I got my assignment in report. My patient was 42, pregnant with her first baby, and had brain damage and chronic pain from a car accident she had been in as a teenager. She had basically never been to see a doctor from the time she was released from the hospital in 1979 until she got pregnant. To control her pain? She had been smoking pot daily. To her credit, she freely volunteered this information to her OB and to the nurse who admitted her. She was being induced for IUGR (Intrauterine growth retardation -- there is actually a more PC term for it now than retardation, but I've had a couple of beers and I can't at the moment recall it). Just after I got report, the MD called (did I mention that he's kind of a dweeb?) and ordere
Cuernavaca Journal: Day I 2008-04-21 22:02:00 Kenny and I got up at about 0430 this morning in order to make a 0930 flight to Mexico City. For the first time EVER, since I started buying discounted plane tickets online, I didn't get flagged for special screening in security. What a luxury.We are going to Cuernavaca, Morelos, Mexico to study Spanish at a little school called Chac-Mool -- for about a week. We will be staying with a host family in the same neighborhood. Despite the fact that I have taken 7 years of junior high, high school and college Spanish, I am far, far from fluent. However, I can say things like: Please bring me a beer with some lime or I am going to start your IV now. Kenny's mastery of the language is limited to: Hello and I'm sorry. We come armed with dictionaries, verb books, phrase books, and two typ Read more:Journal
Cuernavaca: Day 2 2008-04-22 21:33:00 Nobody in Cuernavaca has a front yard that you can see. Houses are built, in some form of fashion, all the way out to the sidewalk. Last night, as we were walking back to Chelo's house after our beers, we walked by an open garage. A huge grill had been pulled out to the sidewalk. Several youngish Mexicans are gathered around the grill and busy in the garage. Beef is being grilled, tortillas are being heated, smells (oh, the most wonderful smells) are being created. Tacos? They ask us. No, we say. Another time. We are scheduled to have cena (the light evening meal) with Chelo in a few minutes. We arrive back at the house, let ourselves in through the gate, and go up to our room. We had opened the windows in the room to let some air in and now we are being punished for it. Althou
Cuernavaca Journal: Day 3 2008-04-23 21:25:00 When we get to breakfast this morning, Neil is already at the table. I haven't had a chance to speak to him very much at school, but he is in all of Kenny's classes. We all greet each other with various levels of Spanish and Kenny and I begin to eat our fruit. Steaming Christmas mugs full of coffee show up in front of each of us. Merry Christmas! Neil tells everyone in Spanish, toasting in our general direction with a Frosty-the-Snowman mug. Chelo laughs and walks back to the kitchen. Oh Senora.....Neil calls out. I have been wanting the milk, please. Some of Neil's sentence constructions remind me of David Sedaris essays -- especially the one where he goes to the doctor in Paris. I immediately capitalize on Neil's request and pour some milk into my coffee. Chelo goes back into the Read more:Journal
Flush it! 2008-05-15 05:48:00 I was helping S admit a patient. The patient's cousin was in the room.When was the last time you had a bowel movement? I asked the patient.This morning, she had one this morning, the cousin responded.Wow, your cousin sure knows a lot about you, I said.Well, the cousin told me, she forgot to flush it.
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