Owner: The Bad Mommy Blog URL:http://www,batchfoobadmommy.blogspot.com Join Date: Tue, 26 Feb 2008 23:49:06 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Bad Mommy Stories as told by ex-party girls. Tired of all those parents telling you how wonderful and easy parenting is [while you can see they're lying through their clenched teeth]? Read the truth here. We tell you our experiences: all the bad-mom Site statistics:Click here
all was chaos... 2008-03-09 13:08:00 Before I was a mommy...
I smoked too much
I painted myself silver and pranced around the house in leather hot pants
I thought of myself
alot
I could out drink a man that out weighed me by 150+ pounds and then when he passed out in my backyard... I could find a way to drag him in and lay him on the sofa
I thought I was free to be who I was and who I wanted
I wore big boots and dark
Before I was saddled to something that would grow into a wine-chugging maniac 2008-03-05 09:48:00 I was young
I was fulfilled
I was happy
All this was delusional
I had dreams to become an international author, living in The Sudan.
I went to war torn zones to check out human rot without worrying about my safety
I didn’t have to like The Dingbat because Id didn’t need a cheap baby sitter.
My father was convinced I was a virgin.
The Dingbat didn’t think it’s OK to talk to me about sex, Read more:something
Sweets~letter to my boys 2008-03-14 05:31:00 Baby boys,
I know you’re not babies anymore, but you’ll always be my babies. Today you are 25, if I died then today is the day when you’ll get your money! Relax and listen to me first!!!!!!!!
It’s a whole lot of moolas there boys, if you use this money on shit (I can say shit now, you’re old enough) I’m not going to be impressed… use it wisely, build some sort of future with it, it can make Read more:Sweets
You Have Future Mail 2008-03-14 01:54:00 Dear The Kid, Today, the day you are opening this letter, will be your 18th birthday. The day I am writing this, it is your 4 month birthday. I wonder what you will look like - more like me or your father? Blonde with blue eyes or will you have my deep brown eyes? Will you be nerdy and smart like me, or a jock like your father? What will your plans be, for the next phase of your life? As I sit Read more:Future
Hello Mommies! 2008-03-13 06:38:00 I posted a cry for help over on my blog. Don't worry, it's not as bad as what it sounds at first, but any help from all you great mommies (BMB mommies and loyal reader mommies) will be greatly appreciated.
I know I can count on you! Read more:Hello
Bridget - De-bonding 2008-03-17 05:43:00 My Darling Pickle,
I write this with the hope of three things:
1. That you have inherited my sense of humor.
2. You are no longer living at home.
3. And you don’t resent me moving to Peru to pursue a writing career you so rudely interrupted almost 20 years ago to this date.
On that note, read on.
My lovely child, I have watched you grow and blossom into a miniature copy of me. [Cue - Clip From Read more:bonding
, Bridget
Letter to the Future Sanity-Breaker 2008-03-16 21:56:00 Dear Isobel,
I thought it would be important to instill a few important thoughts on this, the day of your (first) engagement. I'm actually writing this three minutes after you've fallen asleep on the evening of your 599th day, but that I fell into a heap of exhaustive, head-shaking sighs shows me that you are my twin. At least, according to my mother.
And this means something rather important. Read more:Breaker
, Future
, Letter
, Sanity
bad mom seeks amusing moments 2008-03-18 18:57:00 So, I haven't done last week's homework and I'm late with this week's assignment. Clearly I am cut out for the Teacher of the Year award, right after Best Mom Ever.
Regardless, here we go.
Please tell us about something your child(ren) said that was supremely amusing
. Embarrassing is also fun.
Okay, me first.
One from the archives of my son's many hilarious exchanges:
When my son was
A Letter To Damien Of The Future… 2008-03-18 16:56:00 My dearest, darling, centre-of-my-little-universe, gorgeous Damien
Whilst this letter may go as far into the future as next century some time in this here Ethernet as well as in our interpersonal dealings- in terms of how it relates to you, it may only make it as far as tomorrow.
Now, when you asked me yesterday after work if you could go to Flower’s house after school on Thursday, and then go Read more:Future
, Letter
I Can't Do It 2008-03-18 11:04:00 Dear Fellow Bad Mommies,
I know this is suppose to be a letter to my daughter. I started one for her Restless Sweet Sixteenth Birthday, and got really sad! She was cuddled up against me, sleeping away and I started thinking of how I wouldn't be able to envelope her with my body like I do and feel like I can protect her from the world like I think I can. I started thinking about her not being a
One day, when you’re all grown up 2008-03-18 08:27:00 Boobah,
Happy Birthday. You are now 18, a man, an adult (according to the Childrens' Rights Laws). You are now old enough to sign your own cheques, your own contracts and make your own decisions.
I love you. Never forget that. That said, there are some things I would like to tell you:
Your girlfriend hates me. That's fine, because I'm not all that keen on her either. She's snobby, rude,
Perhaps Not Supremely Amusing at 19 Months 2008-03-21 15:19:00 Q: Please tell us about something your child(ren) said that was supremely amusing. Embarrassing is also fun.
A: My daughter's 1st word was "hi" (the exact way I say it - kind of high-pitched/sing-songy)....this is more amusing in person unfortunately. Especially when she says it right after I have said "no" to something or when she knows she has done something "wrong".
Supremely amusing (to us Read more:Months
things i miss about BC 2008-03-20 07:23:00 hi there. I'm not sure whether i should introduce myself or not. here goes the 'data':
single working mom in durban with vitriol running through her head, constantly, lying next to dreams. write and love it, smoke too much and trying to be unapologetically alive.
and I just want to say this: i think you're all amazing mothers. But, more than that, amazing writers. But, more than that, amazing Read more:things
Blasphemy 2008-03-20 05:26:00 Duplicate post from my site
I can't believe that our *government decided that easter was falling during an inconvenient time so they promptly shifted it one month back! Ok, I can.. just wanted to appear shocked...
Whats next Christmas in November?? I told my boys because its a leap year the easter bunny only gives easter eggs to adults.. They weren't happy... Now before you go all "shame man,
Thrilling House Rules 2008-03-20 04:05:00 Dear The Kid,
I know you are only 4 months old. However, the time has come to lay down some rules. Your co-operation in this regard would be appreciated. As you know, I have been going through some tough times. In order to prevent:
(a) being given away;
(b)being thrown in the rubbish bin; or
(c) being sold for cigarette and vodka money
please note that the following is now expected of you:
1. Read more:House
, Rules
, Thrilling
Homework – House Rules 2008-03-20 03:39:00 When you get the time.
Here is more homework
Briget, Becasue I Can recently did a post, Letter of Intent.
Thought it would be fun to do a letter modelled on that.
But on of actual house rules in your home.
Moms with babies can skip this one if they want. Read more:Homework
, House
, Rules
Child Protégé, Indeed. 2008-03-22 18:24:00 (Crossposted from SA Parent Life)
So, there you were, all newborn and fresh and cute and your dad and I were swallowed up by new baby love.
Then, after six weeks of “continual awake/asleep/feed me/change me/and that’s all I do – isn’t that easy?” phasing… the worst thing happened.
All of a sudden, you were AWAKE. AWAKE and staring at me. Goading me to “go on, now entertain me”.
So, we did. We
introduction - c@th 2008-03-22 02:50:00 So, here I am, doing my introductory homework, because I am failing dismally with the househunt this morning - sigh. Not my fault they will not put the perfect address up for rent.
1. Post a picture of your kids.
this is my favourite one of the two of us. i look about three thousand years older than i really am, but i don't care. it's from the december holidays, and it was the best time.
2.
Homework Time!! 2008-03-26 00:50:00 Right, Bad Mommies, it's my turn to set the homework. Sorry it's so late. I could give a whole list of excuses, but you won't believe me anyhoo…
Okay, for this week, I want everyone to do a Photo Project. I know all of you, myself included, are Happy Snappers and that is why I think we need to do something like this.
So for topics, please choose one of these*:
Place your emotions and feelings Read more:Homework
SURPRISE!! We Have Rules At Home!! 2008-03-25 11:11:00 Thassaright bunnies- Damien and I have several house rules- and obviously as he’s gotten older these have changed. . . and I have very clearly added to them as well as situations have arisen. . . At this point in time, our “rule book” is tracking at 421 pages, with over 872 rules, including all the appendixes, corrections, addendums, modifications, additions, adjustments and amendments we’ve made Read more:Rules
rant post, block your ears kids 2008-03-25 09:09:00 For fuck sakes. Woman at the robot in front of me? Buckle your kid the hell up! Do you not realise that if you slam on the brakes the first thing going through your child's mind, next, will be his ass? Literally.
Did no one ever tell you that while the ankle biter sticks out his arm a truck will magically rush past and chop it off?
I think sometimes you mothers out there need to wake the Read more:block
Picture This 2008-03-28 02:36:00 1.Spell out your child's name in pictures:
Any guesses as to what The Kid's real name is? Read more:Picture
time capsule homework! 2008-04-01 13:59:00 Today you are 2 years and 9 months old.
At this exact moment, you are sleeping, finally hehe.
These days, you like to wear this: your princess skirt. constantly. and a stripy shirt.
Your favorite t.v. show(s) or movie is Barney. Thomas the Tank Engine. The most annoying Kidsongs dvd of all time, Cool Cats and teletubbies
You love to play with balloons, are OBSESSED with playing with coins and
Homework: Online Time Capsule 2008-04-01 10:23:00 Alright Bad Mommys. Ready for some more homework?
The idea is to encapsulate your child’s/children’s life at this moment with words, pictures, and if your really ambitious, video.
Following, is a guide by which you can use to collect your data.
(Here comes the overly ambitious part)
THEN, the plan is in 20 years, April 1, 2028, we will all come back to this blog, reopen our time capsules with Read more:Capsule
, Homework
Homework 2008-04-01 09:24:00 So the renegade Bad Mommy finally gets around to doing some homework... sort of.
Here goes:
**Images found by Google, on amazon.com, stuartdiamond.com and all-natural-mommies.com No copyright infringement intended. Read more:Homework
bad mommy homework 2008-04-01 01:21:00 I've never told you this, but your name is actually the beginning and the end of all things. To some, they think it means 'crooked nose' but, it actually symbolises the two of us, and together, it made you. The first three letters of your name, particularly.
Catherine
And
Matthew
Not Always Restless... 2008-03-31 16:15:00 These images are to represent how my baby makes me feel...(most of the time - just kidding).
Guesses anyone?
UPDATE: Since mine was confusing cuz I didn't spell anything and Boobah's mom was close anyway...I was trying to represent the word "whole". Read more:Restless
All rock, all the time 2008-03-31 15:14:00 Guesses? Bet you'll get it in half a jiffy...
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