Owner: Autism and The Empress URL:http://www.empressnightshade.blogspot.com Join Date: Tue, 26 Feb 2008 09:19:52 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Autism and it's affect on my life, love and happiness. Site statistics:Click here
Must They Stare? 2008-03-07 20:10:12 My son, which I will now call ER and no, it does not stand for Emergency Room even though he's seen enough of them -- my son and I just returned home from grocery shopping. We visited our neighborhood store, one we have been shopping at for nearly eight years. All the staff knows us there and even though it's one of the more expensive places to shop, I appreciate being recognized and asked, "How's your family? Where's your other son?" Personal touches always impress me. However, the stares from customers do not.Why must they stare? I realize my son is different and yes, he's clapping his hands, laughing and words you cannot understand are flying from his mouth. But, he's excited. Food shopping is one of his favorite things to do. Especially, if there's a chance Macaroni and Chees Read more:Stare
Rewarding With Food ~ Bad Idea? 2008-03-06 16:15:41 In approximately 30 minutes, I will have to keep a promise I made to my son that if he gets all 1's on his behavior report today, I will take him to McDonald's. His reaction to me when he gets off the bus will let me know if I should back the car out of the garage.....Rewarding with food -- this is something that has been a part of his life since he began Preschool. He would have done anything for a handful of Cheetos or Cheeze-its. Unfortunately, that behavior has continued through the years and I have picked up on the habit here at home. Food in exchange for good behavior is something he looks forward to. But, is rewarding in such a way a bad idea? Many say that it is....Marlene Schwartz, PhD, co-director at Yale Center for Eating and Weight Disorders says,“Rewarding children wit
Someone on the Spectrum Speaks! 2008-03-05 11:47:45 Dear Readers,I have something very special to present to you. It comes in the form of an email sent to me yesterday. She read this blog and found that it touched her in many ways. What touched me is that she has Aspergers Syndrome, yet does not let that stop her in reaching her goals. Well, I could continue to write about her, but why don't we hear what she has to say from her own hands. Keep in mine that the post she occasionally refers to is the first one I wrote entitled, The Beginning...And now, I give you over to her....."I always have a ton of respect for parents and (active) family members of a person with a disability. It changes a persons life, in good ways and bad. Most people don't understand anything about autism. Before I was diagnosed, I had horrible ideas about it, i Read more:Spectrum
I'm Living With The Flintstones & Rubbles 2008-03-04 16:10:08 I am a huge fan of The Flintstones!I can look at an episode five seconds (my kids have clocked me) and tell you exactly what that particular episode is about including all characters names, most of the dialogue and even sound effects and music. Yup, I'm a Flintstones expert alright, which is why I know that I'm living with them. Well, not The Flintstones and Rubbles themselves, but rather my son's personalities and habits reflect the characters'.....FredWhenever my little man walks into the house from school, I feel like he should be yelling, "Wiiiilma! Where's my dinner?" Since the door he enters is the one located in the kitchen, he immediately starts searching the refrigerator and cabinets looking for anything new I may have purchased while he was away. When there's nothing new, I save Read more:Living
Life's Unexpected Turns 2008-03-03 10:37:09 The other day, I went to the store to pickup a few things -- wine, candy, facial cleanser and moisturizer, sunflower seeds, body wash, a perm -- did I say a few things? After putting my items in the basket, I wheeled to the checkout stand. The lady in front of me was holding a conversation with the cashier. Normally, this would have ticked me off. However, I noticed the wine she had in her cart -- the same kind I was looking for, but, could not find. I waited until they had finished their conversation and then proceeded to ask her where she found the wine. The cashier stepped forward and was kind enough to show me what aisle it was on. I quickly chose what I wanted and headed back to the checkout where a line was forming. Wouldn't you know it?The cashier greeted me with a look of 'I see y Read more:Unexpected
The Autistic....ALIENS??? 2008-03-01 19:03:40 Now, don't get your curlers in a bunch. This is only a theory that someone presented to me a while ago. This individual's thoughts are out there, but for those who believe in the supernatural....The person's possible theory: What if Autism is a higher level of thinking and behavior that we don't understand. Almost as if they are intelligent life instead of being beneath us as many believe.This isn't my own theory, however, and to think that my ex-husband, his father, is some sort of extra-terrestrial.....come to think of it, that would explain a lot of things about him -- His toes, habits... Anyway, I digress. MY SON IS NOT AN ALIEN! He's just different and different does not a subhuman make. With that said, exactly what is he?In my years of living with him, I've found that he is beyond th Read more:Autistic
She's Gone! 2008-02-29 19:06:01 If you read my post yesterday entitled "Heartbreak: Do They Hurt As We Do?", you would know that my son's 'heart' may be leaving him. Well...it was confirmed. As he was getting off the bus, she was waving good-bye. In her hand was a piece of paper. My little man went to the opened window next to her seat and took it from her. Today is her last day at his school and I feel so sad for him. If her departure did not bother him in the least, I would be okay with it even though she is a dear child. But, I could see it all over his face. His head was held low as he looked confused at times.She never stopped waving. Even when the bus pulled off. They both looked at each other until they no longer could. He then opened the paper which had her name and telephone number written on it by he
Are Miracles Still Happening? 2008-02-29 09:27:24 This was a very popular story on ABC News a short time ago. But, I wanted to bring it up again for two reasons:1. So, those who missed it can read such a miraculous story2. To address a comment someone made to meAutism Breakthrough: Girl's Writings Explain Her Behavior and FeelingsDoctors Amazed by Carly Fleischmann's Ability to Describe the Disorder From the InsideBy JOHN MCKENZIEFeb. 19, 2008Carly Fleischmann has severe autism and is unable to speak a word. But thanks to years of expensive and intensive therapy, this 13-year-old has made a remarkable breakthrough.Two years ago, working with pictures and symbols on a computer keyboard, she started typing and spelling out words. The computer became her voice."All of a sudden these words started to pour out of her, and it was an exciting mo Read more:Happening
Heartbreak ~ Do They Hurt As We Do? 2008-02-28 16:46:03 I just got my little man off the bus.Remember "Kathy" I spoke of in my last post? Well, the bus driver called me over. I was preparing myself for some incident that happened. But, this time it was about "Kathy." It appears this may be her last day at school -- her family has moved and she isn't sure which school she will be attending. I asked the driver if she could find out from her family for sure as I would like to prepare my son if this happens. Somehow, though, I think "Kathy" got the message over to him because he lingered longer outside the bus window looking, smiling and touching the glass while I spoke to the driver. I could actually see a bit of sadness and yes, even love in his eyes.Children lower on the spectrum than say Aspergers -- do they feel heartbreak as we do? I guess th Read more:Heartbreak
RUN...It's PUBERTY! 2008-02-27 18:19:24 ME: "Hi, Mamma's Man. What's that you got? Oh, you want me to help you with your homework? Okay. This paper wants you to write down things that are hot. What is hot? The Sun is hot, so go write that down."ME: "You wrote it down? Cool! Now, what else is hot? Is Fire hot? Well, go write down Fire, okay?"ME: "Finished already? Great job! Let's see if we can come up with something else that's hot. Um...what about soup? Yeah, soup is hot. So, go write down the word Soup."ME: "Look at that! You wrote down 'Hot Soup." Wow!! Something else that's hot..Summer! Summer is hot. Think you can write that word?"ME: "You did it! You're wonderful! Now, there's only room for one more word and I want you to think of something yourself. What do you think is hot?"HIM: "Kathy."ME: "WHAT??!!"That was the convers
He's a Fat Admirer! 2008-02-26 17:27:20 That's an F.A. to some and BBW Lover (Big Beautiful Women) to others. But, whatever you want to call it, my Autistic son is.I never paid it any attention before. Not even when he would grab the extra cushion that bounces off my arms when I raised them. I just figured he loved me -- his Mamma. But, soon I noticed him hitting on females in the store, at my Haunted House and even in the doctor's waiting room -- ALL of them were large ladies. Soon after, I heard about a little girl in his fifth grade class. Did I say little? Nope, she was a big girl, too. The few words he could say, one of them being her name, was heard around here and at school all the time.Now, I don't know if this "fat fetish" comes from the fact that he has a heavy woman for a mother (he's not exactly "flaco" himself), or
Don't Ring My Bell! 2008-02-25 18:06:26 GOOD!He's home. I've been biting my fingernails all day waiting for his bus to get here. Well, not actually biting them -- I have acrylic on top of my nails, so it would take a great feat to bite them off. But, you know what what I mean.Today marks the first day back from a week's long vacation from school for my two sons. For seven days, I have endured the constant preparation of food, asking of questions and oh the noise, noise, noise...... Having them back in school is a treat. So, why have my nails been in jeopardy?My little Autistic man has had behavior problems of sorts in school for the last several months. Since he had been a model student in his previous schools, I attribute his current problems to being in a new program, a new school (Middle school at that) and puberty. P
Autistic ~ Can They Live A "Normal" Life? 2008-02-24 17:04:18 As a parent of an Autistic
child, I have often wondered many things: "Will he ever find love and get married?" "Will he have children?" "What will happened to him when he graduates?" "Will he learn skills to be employable?" "Where will he live when he becomes an adult?" These worries abound especially now that he has hit puberty, has designs on one of his classmates and pops anyone upside the head if they even consider looking at her.I know that he has skills -- his highest score on Bop It is well over 200! Okay, so he's not an Autistic Savant, but I tried to play that handheld game and the most I could get was a measly 20 correct before the voice groaned, "Nooooooo! You're out!" But, because he can train his mind to listen and quickly produce what has been asked of him shows me that Read more:Normal
The Beginning...... 2008-02-23 17:52:03 I know the name I have chose for this blog sounds a bit fairytale-ish. In a way, my life has been as though I'm walking through the pages of a book. I've often said to myself, "Girl, your life would make a good book." Well, instead of writing a novel, having it published, giving Hollywood the movie rights and charging you an arm and a leg to see it in the theaters, I've decided to blog my life story living with Autism right here......AREN'T YOU LUCKY?!I, in many circles, am known as Empress Nightshade -- Empress for short. I'm the owner and operator of a haunted house called The Scream Extreme located in Sacramento County, California. I, however, am not the one with Autism. My eleven year old son was diagnosed with the neurological disorder nine years ago. I can't say that living with Auti
Fearing the Death of My Son 2008-03-11 22:37:43 Three years ago, my sister got up in the morning and went into her daughter's room. She found her daughter had died - passed away in her sleep. Her death sent our family in a tailspin as we had never had anyone in our immediate family to die. My sister's life was damaged in a way that could not be repaired. I thought I would lose her, too. Her daughter, a 23 year old with Down Syndrome, was her companion and buddy. Being divorced for many years, it was always the two of them – as thick as thieves.I, too, was very close to her. (I love you Gago!) And as much as I miss my niece sitting on my floor in a yoga position with her shoes kicked, her death affected me in a way I thought would never be. I now fear the death of my own child, ER.ER gets up very early in the morning. Six o' clock is h
He's Growing Up! 2008-03-11 08:07:35 It looks as though puberty has it's 'ups' as well as it's 'downs.'A few weeks ago, I asked you to RUN....It's Puberty! I had been only seeing the bad side of ER's raging hormones, but as it turns out, there's a bright spot.....He's bringing the groceries in the house! Not only that....he's putting them away and in the correct locations! This is totally of his own volition. I had nothing to do with it. One day, his brother stayed overnight at a friend's house -- this is something he rarely does. During that day and night, I saw a change in ER. It's as though he then donned the 'Man of the House' hat and took over responsibilities. This comes totally unexpected to me and my son who said maybe he should leave more often. Agreed....and not necessarily because of ER. (Sssssh. Don't tell him I s Read more:Growing
Leaving Him 2008-03-14 18:21:09 I feel rather melancholy right now. You see, I'm leaving for Vegas tomorrow (Saturday) afternoon and although the trip promises to be fun-filled, I'm dreading leaving my son, ER.It's not the first time I've left him for more than a day. Last year, I went to Transworld's Haunt Show in Chicago. This year that show has moved to Vegas. And although it's much closer living in California, I'm sad none the less.I told him of my trip four days ago. I did this by standing him in front of his magnetic calendar made by Melissa and Doug. It's a really neat wooden calendar that features 2 dry-erase boards that include 140 brightly colored magnetic pieces depicting most holidays and common childhood activities. He changes the calendar month, days and even the season and year all by himself. He then look Read more:Leaving
Blogging About Autism In April 2008-03-13 13:20:40 First of all, before I begin the subject of today's post, I wanted to point out that no, you are not hallucinating. I have changed the template of this blog. I just felt a change was needed. It's a bit more spacious and I don't feel as though things are cramped. Although, that may change down the road, I'm comfortable with it for now.A new look required new music. So, I deleted the old songs and chose new ones. You'll hear selections from Danny Elfman to music from the video game Chrono Cross and I've chosen them all for your 'listening while reading' pleasure. Enjoy!As the post title indicates, I will be blogging about Autism
in April
. Well, I always blog about Autism as this blog is based on the disorder. But, I'll be paying particular attention to it as April is Autism Awareness month. Read more:Blogging
It's ME Who Needs To Grow Up 2008-03-20 10:39:32 I'm back from Vegas and have finally settled down into the usual routines. It's good to be back home. But, I wasn't so sure ER was as happy as I. In fact, I was lead to believe that he didn't really care that I was gone. Let me explain....When I arrived at my hotel room, the first thing on my agenda was to call home to let everyone know I was safe and doing well. Unfortunately, unknowing to me, Metro PCS, my cellphone service, does not cover Nevada. I refused to pay the seven plus dollars it cost to make a call from my room. I got online searching Metro's website in hopes of finding a way to use my phone. I found they do have a free service called 'Talk Travel', but it must be activated on your phone before you leave your calling area. If the service was free, why in the world don Read more:Needs
Sibling Rivalry 2008-03-22 17:48:08 I never thought I'd see the day when my children would rival each other. My two eldest (a boy and a girl) were quite close. Being three years apart, they played together, ate together, were disobedient together and thus, disciplined together. Although they are adults now, they remain close.Not so with my teenager and ER. They are not the best of friends. There's five years between them, but that shouldn't constitute the attitudes, bickering and yes, sometimes fighting amongst them.From the comments I receive....my teenager is jealous. He feels I pay more attention to ER than him. He says I allow ER to "get away with things" I wouldn't allow him to get away with. Oh, and also, I buy ER more things from the store than I do him. When these comments are flying back and forth over me, Read more:Sibling
, Rivalry
Music -- It Tames the Not So Average Kid 2008-03-26 15:33:12 Music has been an important part of my son's (ER) life for as long as there has been an ER. In fact, it was his obsession with it and the constant need to put a certain song on repeat while he rocked hard back and forth in his crib that gave me my first inclinations he was not your average child. For awhile, he had more CDs than anyone in the house and they were of all genres of music. He took better care of them than we did ours making sure none of them were misplaced or out of their case and scratched. But, now that's changed. Not the lover of music part, but of how he gets his musical fix....He has now turned to the radio -- Jack FM being his choice of stations. Jack states, "We play what we want" and does not take any requests. Songs range from every genre and spans many decades. I app Read more:Music
, Average
He's Pouting 2008-03-28 17:55:11 With a turned down mouth and an occasional deep sigh, ER is pouting.Being home from school about thirty minutes, ER is laying on the couch acting as though he is a victim. But, according to his school report, he's not the victim, but the perpetrator....The report had a huge #3 on it with the words "Hitting in PE" next to it. Looks like he didn't have a perfect day. This is the second time this week he's gotten a #3 for the same act. What is it about PE that's causing him to strike out? Perhaps, I should look deeper into the situation.The problem is, I don't care very much for his teacher -- first time in his history of being in school. She comes off as uncaring and not aware of what he may be going through. I also wonder if there is a bit of fear involved -- afraid he might strike out at h
I'm REFUSING To Blog About Autism! 2008-04-01 07:34:20 April Fools!Of course I'm blogging about Autism
. In fact, today marks the beginning of Autism Awareness Month.For thirty days, parents, care-givers, teachers, assistants, doctors, nurses, researchers, philanthropists, journalists, bloggers and yes, even those on the Spectrum themselves will be speaking out about Autism.I'd like to start off by posting on a subject that is quite touchy to many -- Mercury. But, not exactly in the way you may think.A few days ago, an article was brought to my attention on Go! Smell The Flowers. It is about mercury being present in the energy saving light bulbs we've been so bombarded by. Did you know there is mercury in those bulbs? I certainly didn't. But, yet here it is:"With an estimated 150 million CFLs (Compact Flourescent Lamp) sold in the United States
TV is Newest Culprit Tied To Autism 2008-04-03 10:26:40 Here we go again....Researchers from Cornell University have announced they have discovered a link between watching television and Autism
.Looking at county-by-county information on when cable TV entered an area, as well as precipitation rates the analysis showed that children from rainy counties watch more television and that areas with high precipitation also had higher autism rates.Michael Waldman, a professor of economics at Cornell's Johnson Graduate School of Management said, "The analysis shows that early childhood television viewing could be an environmental trigger for the onset of autism and strongly points to the need for more research by experts in the field of autism." A news release from Cornell reported that the autism rate was 1 in 2,500 children 30 years ago, but has incre Read more:Culprit
April Events for Autism 2008-04-07 10:22:35 In keeping with April
being Autism
Awareness month, today I'm posting a few events going on around the country. Hope you find something in your neck of the woods....California*Autism Speaks' Walk Now for Autism Big Fat Greek DinnerWhen: April 26, 2008 4pm - 9pmWhere: Daphne's Greek Cafe10357 Fairway DrRoseville, CA 95678More Info: Walk Now for Autism*FEAT's Night of Caring Dinner AuctionWhen: April 26, 2008Where: Sacramento Convention CenterMore Info: FEAT*All Out for Autism Casino NightWhen: April 26, 2008 5pmWhere: San Diego, CAMore Info: San Diego ASA ChapterOregon*6th Annual Autism WalkathonWhen: April 13, 2008Where: Oaks ParkMore Info: Autism Walkathon*2nd Annual Autism BallWhen: April 18, 2008 7pm - 12:30amWhere:Portland Hilton Grand Ballroom921 SW Sixth AvenueMore Info: Autism BallP
Physician Seeks To Educate Parents 2008-04-10 14:04:01 "One of the most frustrating things we parents face is a multiplicity of anecdotal information. You could spend your whole life hopscotching from one hope for a cure to another without any real sense of what is going to help."This was said by Dr. Louis Vismara, a cardiologist and parent founder of The MIND Institute. He, like I and so many of us, is in a quandary as to what direction is the right one for our Autistic child. Do we put all our trust in medicine with their prescription drugs? Is detoxification and special diets the answer? Should we take stock in any of the latest studies? All of these ''hopes for a cure" -- is there no end?Figures released in 2007 by the Center for Disease Control shows the prevalence of developmental disorders among 8-year-old children (rate per 1,000)Menta Read more:Physician
, Educate
, Parents
How I Almost Threw In The Towel 2008-04-15 13:24:36 I don't believe I've written about it much, but I'm the founder and executive director of a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization called ShadowBox Theatre Company. We fund field trips and social outings for children with Autism in local public schools. We are able to finance these trips due to The Scream Extreme, (picture to the left) a haunted house I own and operate during the Halloween season.Although, I had been donating books and money from recycled can drives to my son's Autism class, I didn't organize ShadowBox until December 2004. Like so many parents, I occasionally felt the crunch when it came to financing his field trips and like many parents, I didn't want my child to be left at home. ShadowBox and The Scream Extreme made it possible to aid those parents who were in the same financia Read more:Almost
, Towel
Parents, Don't Give Up! 2008-04-18 11:06:03 Yesterday, I, ER and my teenage son went to a school celebration officially ending ER's studies on the California settlement. The event was called "Westward Ho" and ER insisted on going. I, myself, wasn't enthused about it. This being his first year at this school, I wasn't sure how things would go. As I've written here before, most students in his class aren't Autistic, ER has lashed out at several of them and I've made it plain to his teacher and school admins I'm not too happy with their lack of knowledge about the disorder.Due to ER constantly pointing out the Westward Ho paper sent home with him, I forwarded a note to his teacher RSVPing to the event. For his sake, I figured I'd give it try. Besides, I couldn't very well have him miss the Cow Patty Tossin', Seed Spittin', Gold Pannin' Read more:Parents
Refuse If You Want - It's Your Right 2008-05-01 13:56:35 Yesterday, marking the last day for Autism Awareness Month, I attended ER's IEP (Individualized Education Program). It was his Triennial and I was looking forward to finding out the goals he had met and setting new ones.Eleven people, including myself, crammed into a tiny room with a small table in the middle. Those people were specialist in the fields of speech, technology and psychology to name a few. His teacher was also present.I was impressed with the goals he had met over the past year and for the most part, the goals set for him in 2009. All except for his teacher's. She and her goals was just as I expected. Let me explain why....Moving ER from a class consisting of all Autistic students to a new school and a program called ILS, has been a challenge. Making matters worse was Read more:Refuse
, Right
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