Owner: Here's to Happy Women... URL:http://herestohappywomen.blogspot.com Join Date: Sun, 11 Feb 2007 21:13:04 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Teri Gray Franta is a freelance writer working from (stuck) behind what she affectionately calls "the Orange Curtain." Her thoughtful, funny and at times sarcastic essays are drawn from her observations of life in the O.C. They are written for the despera Site statistics:Click here
No fondue for you! 2007-02-09 19:07:00
Why is it that perfectly happy couples easily fall prey to the most lethal "Hallmark" holiday of all — Saint Valentine's Day? It's like quicksand. Once you fall into the pit, you can't get out. Fights, arguments and hurt feelings, which can all lead to the playing of the hazardous "no sex" card, are more commonplace than you may think on the supposedly most romantic day of the year. Once this card is played, it's easier to use it again — and again. Once sex is held hostage, it's all downhill from there. Just ask your mother. Trust me on this...she'll know.
Now you may think that single people have dibs on the heartache and hurt that Valentine's Day can cause. They don't, but they do have a good case. After all, if you're not one half of a couple then it's right there on your calendar reminding you of just how "not a couple" you are. New Year's Eve is another event that alienates singles and promotes forced romanticism. Retailers spend billions advancing this idea.
Flirting with danger? 2007-02-02 19:28:00
I have several guy friends and a few of these boys are great big flirts. They flirt with everyone. The waitress, the teller, the receptionist…even their mother. That's just the way they are. Are they looking for a sexual escapade? No…well at least not with their mother. Are they acting inappropriately? At work, there's a good chance they are, given the new rules and regulations. Everywhere else, I believe they're just being friendly...and having some fun. This brings me to my point, and rather quickly I might add.
Flirting
is fun. It makes us feel happy and boosts our self-confidence level. The flirting I'm talking about is the harmless kind, not the lecherous type. It involves wordplay and innuendo…nice, friendly smiles…and the occasional wink. Wow. When I put it that way, I could be describing several of my married friends—guys and gals. And why not? Why should the single folks have all the fun? What's wrong with a little "word" play among friends…as long
We've been nominated!!! 2007-02-01 07:40:00
Share the love chicas and chicos...
Note to self: Go to the "Share the Love" Blog Awards, now through February 6, and vote for some of our ladies of the roundtable, including Bonnie of "Ballpoint Wren" for Best Site Design, Lisa of "A Comforter is Not a Bedspread" for Happiest and Most Inspiring, Matty of "Running on Empty" for Most Thought Provoking, Kacey of "Cookie's Oven" for "Blog I'll Never Stop Reading" and Teri of "Here's to Happy Women" for Best Writing (and Most Thought Provoking).
First round semi-finalist voting ends on 2/6.
Share the Love Blog Awards(Vote Here)
Read more:nominated
Tivo this! 2007-01-26 17:00:00
Hello, my name is
Teri and I'm a Tivo-holic. I have three Tivo machines in my house and one cable DVR. My oldest Tivo is from the first year they hit the market and has only a few hours of storage capacity. As new models came out, with increased storage space, my husband purchased the newer model and then moved the older model to another room in the house.
This all started whe
n I was working 95 or more hours a week. I would come home in the wee hours, make something to eat and then watch a bit of TV to wind down from a long stressful day. My television viewing tastes are a bit esoteric, and as nothing I was interested in was ever playing when I came home, my husband bought me the first Tivo recorder for Valentine's Day eight years ago. It was a thoughtful and romantic gesture that I'm sure he regrets. I am the Tivo master. Bottom line: I always scan back to hear every word of dialogue and I never watch any live programming, unless it's the Super Bowl.
Ahhh…the Supe
Time for tee...or tee for two? 2007-01-17 20:16:00 After taking seven years off, I've taken up the game of golf again. This time, my approach—literally and figuratively—is much better than in the past. A torn rotator cuff and the subsequent surgery caused my hiatus in the first place. Golf was never my primary sport, as I was a tennis player. After forgoing the tennis courts for the same reason, I recently accepted that tennis would never be my game again. My serve will never be the same and the possibility of re-injuring said rotator cuff is a problem. So, I decided to revisit golf—the sport I only half-heartedly played with my husband, children and friends whenever required to do so. This time around, golf seems much more social...more fun. I'm not just talking about the 19th hole. There is a different vibe. Everything about golf seems more alive…and paradoxically, more relaxed.
I wonder what's changed. It's not the same old-school (read: uptight) game I remember…with the same old-school (read: snooty) people. Ega
I made it to the finals! Please vote! 2007-02-08 01:21:00 (Finalist voting ends 2/13)
Share the Love Blog Awards
I made it guys and chicas!...
Thanks to all of your votes I (Here's to Happy Women) have made it into the finalist round of the "Share the Love" Blog Awards. Please
vote for me in the "Best Writing Category" and also "The Most Thought Provoking." Click above site link now through February 13 and vote. You should also check out the Read more:finals
American "Idle." 2007-02-17 07:10:00
I'm not a fan of reality programming, but I decided a few weeks back that I needed to connect with the king—or rather, the idol—of reality shows. Yes, for the first time I tuned in to "American
Idol" I felt I needed to see for myself what the hype was all about these past five seasons. Maybe I was missing something important. Worse. Maybe I was getting old...and stuffy.
With this in mind, I set my Tivo to the appropriate settings. I must say that I thought for a minute that Tivo might talk back. After all, we've had an intimate relationship for over eight years, and nobody knows my TV viewing habits like my friend Tivo. But no…he remained silent. I didn't, and neither did countless contestants who were hopelessly vying for the gravy train.
Speaking of trains, watching the recent tryouts for "American Idol" was like watching a train wreck. Actually, it was more like watching someone sit on the train tracks and then be surprised and indignant when hit by a tra
Shoetree don't bother me 2007-02-23 21:16:00 I'm not a man expert, but I am somewhat of a shoe expert—and I'm convinced that there are three types of guys in the world. That's right; I've narrowed it down to just three. There's the "shoetree" kind of guy; there's the guy who knows what a shoetree is, but will never use one; and finally, there's the guy who says, "Shoe tree? Since when do shoes grow on trees?"As I stood looking at the
A lose-win situation... 2007-03-02 17:00:00
We've all heard of a win-win situation, but what about a lose-win situation? Sounds confusing, but it’s not. Sometimes when we lose we still win.Take for example a recent event in my life. Some of my readers nominated me for both “Best Writing” and “Most Thought Provoking” in an online competition for women bloggers.
I told everyone who would listen—and a few who wouldn’t—that I wanted either one of these awards for the first line of my book proposal. I explained over and over again that it would be a call out to influential people, especially editors. It would make them stand up and take notice and provide validation that I was doing something right—that there’s an audience out there for my sideways voice.
How pompous, silly and narcissistic I must have sounded...and stupid. I failed to realize that receiving the nominations and then making it into the semi-finals meant that I was being noticed already—and that my readers were plenty influential in their ow
13 points of right. 2007-01-12 18:44:00
We’ve all heard of making a list of pros and cons. When someone is thinking of making a career change, they often make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of their current job and those of new job. Some people do this before moving to a new home, a new town or a new state. More often, I think the pro/con list is used for relationships that are in trouble…and by women. Does it work? I don’t know. I do know it only has a chance if we are completely honest with what we commit in writing. For instance, if we are in a troubled relationship and substance abuse is an issue, then we need to address this issue: recognize and admit. Sometimes physical (or verbal) abuse may be a problem. Many people won’t admit to the real issues because it hurts too much or causes embarrassment or humiliation—even if only admitted in private.Recently, a friend approached me about her relationship. I have been worried about this friend and her husband for some time; however, I had remained silen
Resolution solution. 2007-01-05 22:29:00
Okay, it’s a new year. For some people, it’s a time to reflect on the past and plan for the future. Well-meaning individuals try to institute positive changes by making resolutions for the New Year. The most popular resolutions involve lifestyle changes.This tradition of making New Year resolutions dates all the way back to 153 BC. The name of the first month of the 365-day solar calendar, January, originates from a mythical Roman king named Janus—the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances. King Janus had two faces: one in the front and one in the back. He could simultaneously look backward on past events while looking into the future. The first New Year resolutions evolved from ancient Romans asking forgiveness of their enemies. On New Year’s Eve, they would exchange branches from sacred trees to represent good fortune for the recipient in the coming year. * Yeah...pretty similar to the New Year’s Eve parties I’ve attended, except the morning after I a Read more:Resolution
How does your garden grow? 2006-12-29 09:00:00
(As it is a time for reflection coming up, and looking toward the future, I thought it fitting to run this article again. It was originally posted in November of 2005. As you make your New Year's resolutions, remember your yard and the watering, fertilizing, mowing, edging, and weeding. A well tended garden is a happy garden, or so I've been told. Happy New Year everybody! I'm a bit busy and will get back to you after the first.)
Why is it that the grass always seems to be greener on the other side of the fence? Maybe it is and maybe it’s just an illusion—an oasis that will disappear the moment you stake your claim. You buy a new car, and then a few months later another car comes along that you think you might like better. Instead of enjoying your new car smell, you just can’t wait for the lease to end. Eventually you get the car you lusted after (note: the word "car" is exchangeable here). You drive the car a few miles—maybe on a weekender road trip—and it’s not at al
Cheers, beers and leers! 2006-12-22 20:42:00
I recently came across a catalog my husband had set aside rather than toss in the recycle bin with the thousands of other catalogs that arrive this time of year. I was intrigued with this catalog on two counts. One reason was that my husband, who throws everything away, actually saved it—and the other reason was the tag line prominently printed in big block letters on the front cover. It said, “STUFF GUYS WANT.”
What woman could resist such a direct challenge? Not me. I sat down and started perusing the pages of this catalog in hopes of finding out what kind of stuff guys really want. After all, this could be my chance to find the perfect gift for my husband this year. Boy was I surprised. If this catalog is true to its word, and its pages accurately reflect stuff guys really want, then my husband is sure to be disappointed come Christmas morning.
After digesting this “stuff” for a while, I decided to make a Christmas list of my own—of all the stuff my husband apparentl Read more:Cheers
I've got a secret. 2006-12-15 22:15:00 I’ve got a secret. I’ve kept it for many years, but it’s time to fess up. No, it’s not an earth-shattering secret. It’s just something about me that I’ve kept hidden for several years. I’ve recently decided that in order to move on I must share this secret. Get it out in the open. I need to “own” it, as Oprah would say. Perhaps people not from Southern California won’t care about my secret. The locals probably won’t care either. The point is that I care and in the interest of clearing my conscious and recognizing that my secret doesn’t necessarily make me a bad person, I’m going to “out” myself.
I have many quirks. I’m a bit claustrophobic and I don’t like confined or crowded spaces. I always need to sit so that I can see the door…even if it means turning my back on a stunning view of the Pacific Ocean. Not my secret. I am a native Californian, and no, that’s not my secret, either, but I’m getting close.
Let’s stay with the Californian theme,
Ask not...want not! 2006-12-09 02:08:00
Why is it that some people, armed with only partial information or information from unreliable sources, assume they are knowledgeable enough to weigh in as experts on specific subjects? It goes right along with getting unasked for, unnecessary and uninformed advice…especially in the up close and personal department. This is a pet peeve of mine. It also hits my husband’s radar. It’s as if these people are judging us and finding fault with how we live our lives. Perhaps they think we have a problem because we don’t conform to their lifestyle...or maybe they weigh in for other more altruistic reasons. Either way, I think it’s best to keep these opinions to ourselves, unless someone asks for our advice. I say, “Ask not, want not.”
I am reminded of the well-known and arguably incorrect phrase, “Mother knows best.” I say “incorrect” because no one person, mother or not, can know what’s best 100 percent of the time—not for themselves, for their children or for the
Get off of my... 2006-12-02 01:58:00
I can’t tell you how many times in the last few months I’ve heard someone say, “Life is a highway.” Well, if life is indeed a highway, then some people need to drive a little better. Scratch that. They need to drive a lot better. I’m tired of the road hogs, the tailgaters, the speed demons, the oblivious (to everything but their world) drivers, and the honkers. I’m especially tired of the honkers.
Am I talking about real drivers here or will this be another metaphorical column with ducks and trash? Since I’m currently perturbed with many of the drivers in my neck of the woods and a few people in general, you be the judge. Read between the lines or drive between them. Both navigate well for me.
Let’s start with the road hogs. A road hog is someone who thinks that he or she personally owns the road. On the highway, they seem as if they’re not paying attention as they hog the road. In actuality, they just won’t make eye contact with other drivers. To do so would be
Oh no! I'm Invited! 2006-11-25 00:10:00 (This article was originally posted November of 2005. I know that some of you have already read it, but I know that many of you have not. I wish you all a wonderful, safe and delicious Thanksgiving. And now, I am off to Hollywoodland to enjoy the view and my brother's hospitality...and yes, I am bringing the dessert!)Why is it that the invitations we don’t get can be as agonizing as the ones we do receive? We’ve all experienced the pain of not getting an invitation. Like the Christmas party that all of your friends were invited to, but not you. How about the time when several of your friends got together for a movie—without calling you? This always hurts, so we put on a good show and say that we were busy and wouldn’t have been able to go anyway—even if we weren’t and we could have. Sometimes not being invited is due to miscommunication. Someone was supposed to call, but forgot. Perhaps the invitation was truly lost in the mail. Other times, you just weren’t invited. As
Menu of friends... 2006-11-17 20:30:00 Recently I was thinking about the similarities between people and food. We’re all familiar with the famous saying, “You are what you eat.” I brought this up with some of my chicas and we had a great time putting some interesting cuisine in front of our friends’ faces, including our own not so innocent little mugs. We decided to plan a menu for a friendly dinner party. We didn’t base our bill of fare on the food we eat on a regular basis. It was personalities and other little quirks that set our table with an eclectic variety of chow.
We started with a snack...and a friend that always has a dilemma in her life. Nothing on her plate is ever easy. She’s invariably stuck in the middle of something difficult or controversial. Perhaps it’s stealing a bit from the late, great Erma Bombeck, but we decided unanimously that this chica is a bowl of cherries…complete with all the pits. Once pitted, she’s smart and funny, but getting there is a challenge for even the most experie
Does anybody really know what time it is? 2006-11-10 21:31:00
On a recent trip to visit our son in college, my husband and I needed to adjust our watches to accommodate for a new time zone. Not just the hour time difference in Colorado, or the difference between our son’s 10 minutes and our 10 minutes...we needed to adjust for the time difference between our son’s life and our lives and the thought processes and priorities that our differences entail.
You see, there have been times when we haven’t adjusted our watches...and frustration, anger and hurt feelings ensued. There have been times when we’ve been focused on our timetable and priorities and totally consumed with our timing. There have also been times when our son has been tuned into his timetable and completely ignored our time zone. I learned this lesson long ago—and I mentally adjusted my watch before we left for the airport. My husband...not so much.
Our destination for the weekend was “The Republic of Boulder.” It’s not officially a republic, but it’s called thi
I don't, but I do. 2006-11-04 07:00:00
At a party recently, someone brought up the “I don’t” trend of older couples. It was said by one friend that there’s not enough motivation anymore to say “I do” if children are not in the master plan. I know several of these couples. I’m not referring to couples who have “his” and/or “her” children. I’m talking about couples who have no children, on either side, and are approaching (or just past) the half century mark. Many have been together for years (and years), and still have not tied the proverbial knot—or have they?
Some of these couples are content with their “single but almost married” status, and others not so much. There’s this one case in which the chica would really like to be married. It’s not the wedding she wants per se, but the ring and its symbolic commitment in the eyes of our society. Her significant other has held out for over eight years. Before the comments come in saying that it’s time for this couple to fish or cut bait...o
I think, therefore I'm anal? 2006-10-27 20:29:00
I’m tired of hearing don’t sweat the small stuff. I like the small stuff. I think
life is in the details. If you can’t appreciate the details, how can you appropriately appreciate the broad strokes?
I love the paintings by Vincent Van Gogh. I think I appreciate his genius more because I know some of the details behind the canvas…behind the big, thick impressionistic strokes of that Starry Night. Does this make me an “over-thinker,” as a dear friend recently labeled me? Am I compulsive? Anal? Or do I just like the details.
What does “over-thinker” mean anyway? Taken out of context it can mean many things. In my case, my friend means that I see things and then do things to ensure the happiness of others. At least I think this is what my friend means. I think she’s wrong. I’m much more selfish than that. I do things for others because it makes them happy, and this in turn makes me happy…and I like to be happy.
This same friend calls me detail oriented. She’s
Don't call between 12 and 1. 2006-10-20 21:37:00 It happens all the time. We think we know someone and then we find out we don’t—or at least not as well as we thought we did. I’ve decided that we may not know someone at all until we know what he or she does during the lunch hour. Life is full of surprises, and we may discover that a friend’s plat du jour may not be at all what we expected and that he or she has a taste for something different—something we may never choose from the menu in a million years. This happened to me recently. I found that a friend of mine spends her lunch hour in another state of mind...and most definitely in another world.
The title of this article purposefully alludes to the lunch hour—specifically the hour between noon and 1 p.m. You might be thinking “nooner” at this point…and you wouldn’t be wrong. It’s actually my friend Su-Z-Q’s nooner to which I allude. It’s an almost daily event that I had no idea took place—and continues to take place Monday through Friday. Let me clar
A cat in wolf 's clothing. 2006-10-13 22:51:00
I'm convinced that no sentence uttered aloud should ever begin with the phrase “Watch out,” unless it involves a life or death situation. I recently came to this conclusion and communicated it quite clearly (and loudly) to my husband as I escaped death (or at least severe injury) by a tiny little woman in a big black SUV. She was talking on her cell phone and checking out her eye makeup in her rearview mirror. My husband told me to “Watch out.” I told him afterward to never (ever) do that to me again. Even now, my heart races as I think how close I came to being parking lot road kill. It’s like Woody Allen says, “I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens”—to which I add—I’m just a little picky about how, when and where it happens.
Seriously...my near (and potentially very messy) brush with death aside, I'm pretty sure you’re thinking that my husband told me to watch out because he saw the diminutive diva barreling toward me. You
Calling all cougars... 2006-10-06 21:11:00 How can it be that a woman writing about her first hot flash in “Beware the freezer burn!” can be accused of being a cougar? Not of the four-legged variety—but an urban cougar, which is loosely defined as a savvy chica who enjoys the company of younger males. That’s right, yours truly just heard that someone, a pot calling the kettle tarnished, warned the sweet girlfriend of a handsome young man about little (and apparently) not-so-old me!
It seems that I was on the hunt and stalking my prey, or rather hers. Of course, this is funny in a sick way. My alleged prey is like a nephew to me. My friends, including the Husband, think this is hilarious. The woman who issued the warning is definitely not a friend, nor does she know me—or even have the slightest idea of whom I am or what makes me tick. If she knew me and made this accusation, then I guess it wouldn’t be as funny. As it is, this really made me laugh when I heard about it…after my first, initial “ICK!”
Why do Read more:Calling
, cougars
And the beat goes on… 2006-09-28 21:18:00
Saturday evening my husband and I had some friends over. It was a small and intimate affair—with many laughs all around. It was also special because we toasted someone from my life—from all of our lives—on the sad occasion of her death. Before we began our meal, we all lifted our glasses in a toast to Beth Levine. It didn’t matter that I was the only one at the table who knew who Ms. Levine was...and how she influenced our culture so long ago. Each person obligingly repeated her name and clinked glasses, no doubt curious to see where this was going. After the toast, my guests looked at me expectantly, with the same look of confusion that I imagine is clouding your vision now. I told them that Beth Levine had played a big part in my youth—helping to capture many memories of me dancing around and laughing—every moment caught on film by my father, to haunt me all the days of my life. As I waited to see if anyone caught on, I saw my husband smile. He knew where this was going
Can you imagine? 2006-03-24 17:05:00
Can you imagine living to be 97-years old? Not sick, not ailing...not lonely? Living in good health? Living a good life? Living this way for most of those 97-years? I can't, but my mother-in-law, Marvelous Marvel, did just that. I was only around for 15 of those years, but I wouldn't have missed them for the world. True, the last few years were hard on us all...but that still left 90-plus great years.
It's taken me over a year to able to write this piece, but I made a promise to Marvel. I told her on that last Thanksgiving Day, just a week before her death, that I would write about Marvelous Marvel and remind myself and others what it was like while she was in the world. I promised her that I would never forget her. If I am not as wry or witty...or if there are not as many "read-between-the-line" innuendos as usual, it is out of respect for this woman who touched my life so deeply.
During the last five-years of her wonderful odyssey, I had several conversations with Marvel ab
Hotel, motel or no-tell Fred 2007-03-09 19:21:00
So, you’re in a relationship and heading out for a long weekend with your partner. The weekend promises to be great fun. You’re looking forward to getting away and enjoying a few nice meals, perhaps some dancing or listening to some live music, sleeping in, and some lazy days by the pool with some refreshing libations. It’s a change of scenery you’re after…and some romance and relaxation. You get to your destination, check into the hotel, and whack…you are hit in the head with those interesting, yet predictable, expectations the moment the door to your room opens and your partner spies the bed. Perhaps you have the notion. Either way, my point is that the word “hotel” or the hint of the word “hotel” can be a powerful aphrodisiac. Let me digress, cool off and explain where I’m going with this article. Bare with me please…and yes, the bad pun’s intended. A few months ago, I read a silly article about the name “Fred.” I don’t remember all of the d Read more:Hotel
Girls' rules 2007-03-16 17:46:00
Sometimes when playing with girls the rules are different. Take for instance the game of golf. When a friendly wager enters the competition, the stakes are often different and so are the rules. You might say that it’s a completely different ball game when you play with the girls.
Recently, I played a round of golf with a good friend. She and I decided to play skins. For those of you not familiar with skins, the basic principal is that the person with the lowest score on each hole wins the amount wagered (the skin) on the hole. We bet a dollar a hole. A basic rule I’ve always adhered to while playing skins is “one tie all tie.” Meaning if more than one person gets the lowest score (a tie) on a hole, then everyone playing moves on to the next hole and the wager, or skin, for the tied hole (or holes) carries over to the new hole. Whoever wins the new hole gets the skin for new hole and any skins from any preceding tied holes Read more:Girls
Satisfaction guaranteed 2007-03-23 19:40:00
Okay…my husband is on a diet. His knee surgery last year caused problems. He’s not as active as he was prior to the surgery—not by a long shot. He can’t walk for extended periods, nor can he ride the step machine or the stationary bike at the gym as he once did. He can’t even play golf. Bottom line: he’s gained weight because he can’t do what he normally does to stay fit—almost. We’ll get to the “almost” in a bit. A new knee is supposedly the answer to this dilemma. Alas, this begets another dilemma. To get the new knee my husband has to lose weight—or else the operation won’t be successful. Exercise is obviously out of the question, so here we are—counting carbs, calories, fat content and constantly reading labels for taboo ingredients like high fructose corn syrup, trans fat and refined flour. We’ve never done this before. It’s almost like learning a foreign language, except foreign languages aren’t as sneaky as the food labels. This enti Read more:Satisfaction
That's not my suitcase 2007-03-30 17:35:00
Why is it that we have some friends who make us feel good about ourselves, and then we have other friends who always tend to bring us down? And just like a marriage, for better or for worse, we hang in there with the downers for as long as possible. Faithful until the end. These days, many friendships outlast marriages. This makes me wonder...do I make my friends feel good about themselves? Or am I a downer friend? After all, I’m opinionated, pragmatic, and if you ask me a question, I generally tell the truth…as I believe it to be. On the plus side, this means that I will always tell my friends when their mascara is smeared or if they have a poppy seed or a piece of spinach in their teeth. But honesty is not always popular, and sometimes difficult to maintain—especially when a friend is going through a rough time. When friends have a problem, they generally want you to tell them only what they want to hear—and that’s usually what you do, because you don’t want to cause th Read more:suitcase
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