Waiting Game
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Nature needs to figure out a better way.I mean seriously. I feel like a bowling ball. I am 5 days over my due date and terrifyingly enough my midwife is talking about inducing labor. Ack. It would figure that little one is going to take after her mommy. I think she is hitting the baby equivalent of a snooze button.Not now, thanks. Maybe in a couple more days, mom.Anyway...I really shouldn't complain as I have had it pretty easy so far. Not much in the way of morning sickness, back pain has stopped, the horrendous allergies that plagued me for my entire second trimester finally stopped. The only thing bothering me now is not being able to get comfortable enough to get any decent sleep, and rolling out of bed to waddle down the hall to pee 6 or 7 times a night.But I am ready for this little one to be here. Before my due date I was terrified and scared to give birth but all of a sudden, now I just want to get the whole labor thing over with. I am ready to meet my daughter already! I ke
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Nervous
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Well, midwife said I am ready to go. If little one doesn't decide to make an appearance tonight or tomorrow, then I get to go to the hospital on Thursday at the butt crack of dawn to be induced. Ack. I am going to try and go the natural route (what I am thinking I don't know) but I don't know if I will be able to make it through with no pain relief. This is my first baby so I have no idea how intense the pain will be or whether or not I will be able to stand it. I think I will...just so long as my labor doesn't drag on forever and ever. Oh, the waiting!I have cleaned the whole dang house from top to bottom. If I clean anymore I think I will start to rub holes in things. Apparently I am one of the "Nesters".
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From the Land of No Sleep
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Wow.No one warned me (ok, I lie. They did.) about how very little sleep I would be getting. This whole parenting a newborn thing is pretty...exhausting? Awesome? Stressful? Mind blowing? Nerve racking? Pick an adjective.Anyway my plans for this blog are going slightly off course, as I can barely find the time, energy or inclination to drag myself out of my cozy bed-nest of bottles, baby, and blankies.I shall try harder.Even though no one's reading this thing.Yet.I think my apartment has a ghost cat. Yes, a cat. I can't even escape cats in the supernatural realm, apparently. But I see the damn thing running down the hall and when I look down the hall, all the doors are closed, but there is no cat. I don't even really want the cat I have, let alone an ethereal one. Bleh. At least it won't shed all over everything and pee on my clothes.Duty calls.
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She's Here!
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Little One is here! She decided she would make up her own mind and started on her way out the day before I was to be induced. I went into labor at 4:00 pm and has her at 5:05 am January 26. Here are some things I learned at the hospital:-IVs aren't as bad as I thought they would be.-Contractions HURT in a way I find impossible to describe.-Throwing up every time you have a contraction sucks.-Epidurals ROCK.-It feels really weird when the epidural medicine goes up your spine.-Catheters aren't as bad as I thought they were either.-You lose all modesty while in labor. Seriously, I think half the people in the hospital saw my cooch or my ass and I DID-NOT-CARE.-Pitocen brings on some insane contractions that I firmly believe would have killed me if I hadn't had an epidural.-Pushing the baby out isn't the worst part of labor.-Stitches on your cooch suck.I still can't quite believe that my baby is HERE. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and still be pregnant. Daddy is doing a great
Peanut Butter and Jelly
1970-01-01 00:59:59
...is my new nutrition staple. I guess because it's quick and easy. I have also mastered the art of finishing a meal in 5.2 seconds flat, cuz we all know how babies have that nifty little radar that tells them when their parents are trying to eat and cues them to scream like all the demons of hell are after them.The livable amount of sleep I have been getting is about to go out the window, as Daddy is about to go on a job and will be gone for like 2 MONTHS. I am in a bit of panic about this as I don't know how I am going to deal with caring for the munchkin all by myself.All this business with the ghost kitty has reminded me of my first ghost encounter. I was on vacation in Oklahoma with my best friend one summer. We were staying at her grandmother's vacation house (which was empty the rest of the year). We were up playing cards one night at like, 2:00 in the morning and I started talking about how sleeping in strange places freaks me out. Pretty soon I had us both creeped out ("You
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, Butter
, Jelly
, Peanut Butter
Humans-The Next Step!
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!I think humans should lay eggs. Wait, hang in there. Think of how easy birth would be. Just pop out a nice, contoured egg, instead of a squirmy baby full of knees and elbows and such. Pregnancy would only last like, 2 months, then we'd just have to incubate our little eggy babies. No morning sickness, no achy backs, no heartburn, no huge belly to cart around, no stretch marks...wouldn't it be nice? Then you'd just wait for your little one to...urm, hatch...and bam, little bundle of joy, sans hours of painful labor.Well, I think it's a good idea. Notify whoever's in charge of this whole human evolution thing. Platypuses (platypi?) lay eggs, and they're mammals.Easter would be kinda weird. And people probably wouldn't care for scrambled eggs anymore. Yech.Anyway.Little one is doing well. She's been a bit of a fussy butt the last few days, but I don't think it's bad enough to be considered colic. Just a case of the grumps. And as a giant YAY, Da
Rocket Biscuits
1970-01-01 00:59:59
The other half worked at KFC once, a few years back. One day (his last day, incidentally) he ran into a difficult customer. Those of you who have worked retail know the type-snotty, rude, and convinced they are SO much better than you.Well, said customer pushed him just a bit to far. The following insued:Hubby: Thank you for your order. Would you like to try our new rocket biscuits?Customer: Rocket bicuits?Hubby: *hurls biscuit into said customer's face*How many of you have wanted to do something like this? I know I have.
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Stressness
1970-01-01 00:59:59
It's been a tough couple of days.The other half has been driving my bananas. He doesn't quite get why it upsets me that he can act like everything is the same (going out of the house whenever he wants, or even peeing or sleeping) meanwhile everything is totally different for me. Things like eating and sleeping are no longer something I can do whenever the urge takes me. I mean, there's no reason for us both to be housebound and suffering from cabin fever, but he just seems like he is trying to act like everything is the same as it was pre-baby, when it isn't. Ugh.Little one has also settled into a routine of nightly fussiness where everything pisses her off. She even pisses herself off and then hollers about it. I don't think it's colic, as it doesn't seem to be bad enough to qualify, but it's still a little bit frustrating. I find myself wishing time would move a little faster, as it seems like this whole thing will get a bit easier. I know, wishful thinking. I know I have tee
This is Great!!
1970-01-01 00:59:59
I'm not much of a link poster, really, but you HAVE to watch this. It's freakin hilarious!http://www.theneweditor.com/index.php?/archives/4917-This-Will-Make-You-Laugh.html
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Things To Come
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Little One is sleeping now (oh, the miracle of swaddling) and I actually got a full(ish) night's sleep, so I'm feeling rather mellow right now.You know what I can't wait for? When she is old enough to start reading. Because my child will be a reader. Or at least, I hope she will. Because there are so many awesome books I want to share with her. Stuff I read when I was little. Stuff I am reading now. And I hope that she loves books as much as her mommy, because TV is just no substitute for a good book. Now, I'm not one of those, "We won't have a TV in the house it rots your brain" type parents. But I think it sucks that not many people read actual books anymore. It seems like everything is being replaced by electronic devices.It makes me sad.Some people will never know the joy of re-reading a book you've read who knows how many times, just because the story and the characters are so awesome. Or smell that old book smell. Or know how great it is to find books from your childhood th
I Love Lists
1970-01-01 00:59:59
I saw this blog idea here.I thought it was a nifty noodle idea, so I'm snagging it as well. You are supposed to list one thing about 50 people you know. Here goes.1. I thought you were crazy when I first met you. All you did was talk about guns.2. The night we found out we both lived in Hawaii around the same time when we were kids and adopted each other (drunkenly) as long lost brother and sister was great.3. You put me through more pain than any other person ever has, and I still don't really hate you.4. I miss you a lot sometimes...we always had so much fun.5. I wish we had been closer when you were alive. I feel like I missed out on a lot.6. I LOVE your laugh. It never fails to crack me up.7. God, how I wish I had never dated you.8.I think you are quite possibly the most unfair person I ever met.9 You need to take care of your kids, and stop dating young girls, you perv.10. I miss our horror movie discussions.11. Keep your bald head out of pregnant lady's vaginas.12. Watch yours
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Helloooooooooo, I'm a caaaaaaaaaar.
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Anyway, have I mentioned that I LOVE Dane Cook? I know, a lot of people talk crap about him."He doesn't even tell JOKES. He just YELLS and makes faces."Poop on them. Dane is a funny freakin' guy. And he's not bad on the eyes, either.He makes me crack up, and I'm not even much of a stand up comic gal. I was into George Carlin for a while but it seems like the older he gets, the more cynical he gets. And that makes him progressively less funny. I do still like his older stuff though.Hmm.I also love Kevin Smith. Yes, Silent Bob. I know his movies abound with fart jokes and stoner humor, but there's also some awesome dialogue and some heartfelt stuff in there as well. Plus the man's really smart and hilarious to listen to. I also like the fact that he is really in touch with his fans and doesn't hesitate to rip anyone who tries to trash talk him a new one.I was way too upset when the Croc Hunter died. I watched the memorial on Animal Planet and cried like a wuss. My excuse for this
Get Off My Kool Aid
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Well, I installed that nifty little trackback thing on my blog here.They failed to warn me that it would DELETE all my previous comments.Bastards.On another note (one just as pissy, sorry to say) I am about to kick some ass. More specifically, the ass of a certain female that seems to think it is OK to flirt and hit on other women's HUSBANDS.Yea.I don't think she knows how close I am to pummelling her into a little pile of mush. SHE doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with the way she acts. And the husband seems to think it's OK to go traipsing about with our group of friends and include her in everything. She calls him MULTIPLE times a day to ask him to go here or there like he's got some kind of responsibility to escort her every damn place she wants to go.Does this chick have no FRIENDS?No, she doesn't. And I can only imagine why. I have talked to the husband (I really need to think up a nifty code name for him like everyone else has) about this and while he seems to
On Mothering
1970-01-01 00:59:59
I don't think I've yet figured out what kind of mother I will be.On the one hand, you have the overprotective zealot moms. The ones who want to ban books from libraries, protest violence and sex in movies and TV, and generally shelter their kids from anything they deem offensive. The kind who have a sort of, My Way Is The Only Way outlook on parenting. These are usually the moms who think spanking is the devil incarnate and the like. They don't really seem to be happy unless they are wrangling to get something banned, taken off their air or edited.Then, you have the other side of the spectrum. The "cool" moms, who generally let their kids do, say, watch, wear or read anything they want, who don't impose curfews, who let their kids just generally run wild and expect them to learn their own lessons with a minimum of guidance.Most mothers fall into a kind of gray area between the two, sometimes leaning farther to one side or the other, but mostly just trying to find a balance between
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Enough Is Enough
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Alright, this is getting ridiculous.Before I get into my main topic here, just let me say that Pampers Baby Dry SUCK. We got a giant package of them at my baby shower and hey, free diapers right?Baby DRY? They should have called them Pampers Baby-Will-Wake-You-Shrieking-At-3AM-Because-Of-Massive-Pee-Explosion. Twice. Yea.Anyway.My husband is missing the danger signs. You already know about the whole other woman after his nuts thing, but get this. He has gone out to hang out with his friends nearly every night this week. Monday we actually both went to our friend's house to toss a few back and relax baby-free. So I'll give him that one, since we both went. Tuesday we stayed home. Wednesday he SPENT THE NIGHT over at the same friend's house after getting sloshed on Vodka and playing pool half the night. Thursday he kinda stayed home, but only because he didn't come home from the night before until about 4 in the afternoon. Last night he went driving to League City with HER. Yes, tha
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JERK
1970-01-01 00:59:59
What I meant was fucking asshole, but I wasn't sure if I could put that as a post title.So yea, he comes home and guess the fuck what? HE ASKS ME IF HE CAN GO STAY THE NIGHT AT HIS FRIEND'S HOUSE.What the hell is he, ten? And he has said friend with him. I gave him my best, I Am Going To Kill You NOW look, and I'm like, "What the FUCK?"Then he starts babbling about how he is playing games over there and he wants to drink and blah blah blah *insert glares from me* and how he'll be back tomorrow.So his friend leaves the room. And I start crying, you know, because I am just too upset to be bitchy at this point. I told him to do whatever the fuck he wants because he is obviously going to do it anyway. Any man with half a brain in his skull knows this is NOT permission, but a warning that if he leaves he may well never have sex again.And then he leaves.With me still crying, because I'm so damn upset that his sorry ass seems to think playing games and drinking with his friends is more i
I Am Housewife, Hear Me Roar
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Well.So I realized that yea, I guess I WAS acting a bit like a doormat. I mean, why should he stop pulling that kinda crap if I wasn't going to really put my foot down?So, when he woke up this morning (he ended up coming home at like, 3 AM) I had a long talk with him. I told him that what he has been doing is bullshit. I told him that going out every night and leaving me home with the baby made me feel like we weren't as important as his friends and boozing it up. I told him I was tired of him walking all over me and acting like what I said or felt about the situation didn't matter.He did his typical, I'm gonna joke around to try and change the subject thing that he does, but I was having none of it. Not this time.He said that he was just feeling a little overwhelmed by the whole Daddy thing. To which I said, "How do you think I feel, being here 24/7 with no help? How's THAT for being overwhelmed?"Then he tried the, "Well I was just trying to get it out of my system before I go ba
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Ode To Poop
1970-01-01 00:59:59
We had another pee explosion this morning (Pampers can rot in hell) with an added bonus of poop.So I'm changing the kiddo, and her clothes, digging out a new blanket, etc. all while half asleep.I get her all wrapped up, and I'm picking her up to feed her. As my hand slides under the back of her head, I feel something...squishy.What the hell?I am so out of it, that I stare blearily at the whatever it is stuck to my finger, and give it a sniff.It is poop.Oh yes. My darling daughter has a FREAKIN POOP NUGGET STUCK TO THE BACK OF HER HEAD.How did this happen? She has ninja poops, I swear to friggin god. Husband got one stuck to his big toe the other night. They pop out of the diapers and go nuggeting around the house, just waiting for an opportunity.Did I mention I'm not even a morning person?
100 things
1970-01-01 00:59:59
You knew it had to happen eventually, didn't you? Here goes:1. I have an insane fear of large cockroaches. I will go into hysterics . I nearly brained my husband once when he was dumb enough to get in my escape path. I ran him the fuck over and he had a black eye the next day.2. I love reptiles. Currently I have 3 snakes and 4 geckos.3. I worked at Petco for 3 years. If you have an animal or pet related question, I'm your gal.4. I don't remember the first time I kissed my husband. I was too drunk.5. I have 4 tattoos.6. I cried like a bitch when the Croc Hunter died.7. I have abnormally long toes.8. I am the world's worst procrastinator.9. Both of my parents died before I was 16.10. I LOVE to read. I will read all day and all night, if given the chance.11. I am an avid Harry potter fan. But only the books.12. I have not yet seen a movie adaptation of a book that I am satisfied with. Lord of the Rings came close, but no cigar.13. I love to play video games.14. I am a pretty good arti
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What Now?
1970-01-01 00:59:59
Here I am, about to post another long diatribe about the wonder that is my husband.Well, the talk didn't seem to help. Today he left at 8:00 am to go for his job interview. No phone call until 2, when he informs me that he is playing basketball at his friend's house. Then no phone call until 6, when he informs me that he is going over to another friend's house. Then nothing until 8, when he drops by to pick up a change of clothes and informs me that he is spending the night over at said friend's house.I go apeshit. I ask him what the hell is wrong with him. I tell him he is acting like he only gives a shit about himself and not his wife or baby. I tell him if he wants to leave me he should just go ahead and leave. I ask him what the hell he wants from me.He says I jump his ass about being gone too much. He says he feels smothered. Then he contradicts himself and says maybe I should speak up more(???!). He says he is stressed out and wants to be somewhere where he can not have to th
Letter To Husband
2007-03-02 03:05:00
Dear Husband
,I think I hate you.As I've been sitting at home, alone, these past few nights, I have cried a lot. I cry because it hurts me that you seem to have stopped caring. I think back to the beginning of our relationship. Where is the guy that used to call me 10 minutes after I left the house to tell me he missed me? Where is the guy that blindfolded me after I came home from work, and led me into a room lit up with candles, a tape of our song playing, and slow danced with me for hours? Where is the guy that used to write me poems nearly every day?I think he is long gone.Then, I think back to a not so great period of time. You would stay out for hours, and I knew you were with her. I remember you slipping out of bed one morning, after getting a phone call. I followed you, wondering why you had been so careful not to wake me. Only to look out the window and see you kissing her in the driveway. I wanted to run outside, to tackle her to the ground and beat her until I felt better. I
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Thoughts n' Stuff
2007-03-01 02:39:00
There's my daughter! I told you I was a bad photographer, but look at that grin!They should make a freakin button on the TV that makes the remote control beep. You know, like what they have for cordless phones. I lose the damn remote constantly. Doesn't help that we have like 4 different remotes, either.Top Ten Favorite Movies (In No Particular Order)DragonheartAll the Kevin Smith movies (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl, Clerks 2. Yea, there's 7 of em. I know it's cheating.)Cinderella ManBraveheartThe Lion KingBruce AlmightyBad SantaPirates of the Carribean 1 & 2My Best Friend's WeddingIndiana Jones 1, 2, & 3I am still all excited about the new Harry Potter book. It needs to be July already. (
Pieces
2007-03-03 07:11:00
He's gone.When he came home today, we talked. And it's over. The explanation he gives for the way he's been acting is that he wanted to leave me before I ever got pregnant. After I was pregnant he said he decided to try to stay and work it out. But that he can't. So, somehow, instead of me kicking him out, he dumps me.I've been living a lie for damn year a near now. Or he has anyway. Funny how his desire to break up with me didn't extend far enough to stop having sex with me.So he is gone. I can't quite believe it. I feel like someone hit me with a bat, right in the face. Like someone is tearing me apart from the inside out. I keep wandering around the house, feeling lost. I thought I would take it better than this, but as soon as I closed the door after him, and locked it, it hit me. He is gone. There is no working this out. It's over. I tell you, my king sized bed never looked so freaking huge, now that I am going to be sleeping there alone.I have spent nearly every day of th
The List O' Books, And A Question
2007-03-03 02:41:00
I got this idea here.Since I'm an avid bookworm, and desperately needed a change from the marital posting (which I don't feel up to talking about at the moment) I figured what the heck. Without further ado: In the list of books below, bold the ones you’ve read, italicize the ones you want to read, cross out the ones you won’t touch with a ten-foot pole (I don't know how to cross out, so I'll underline the ones I won't touch -- there aren't many), put a cross (+) in front of the ones on your book shelf, and asterisk (*) the ones you’ve never heard of. 1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown) Maybe I’ll watch the movie first.2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)4. +Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell) So much better than the movie.5. +The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien) Read these in fifth grade.6. +The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)7. +The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
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, Question
Of Beatings And Bimbos
2007-03-05 12:36:00
So, yea.I've been coping. That first night was H-A-R-D. But I got through it. And the one after that. I haven't cried at all today, so that's news.All hell broke loose earlier. A friend of mine that I haven't talked to in a while because Asshole ( aka ex husband) hates him (and forbade me to talk to him) came over with this chick I kinda know but not very well to give me some nice information about how Asshole was cheating on me before we broke up and is now shacking up with the same silly tramp. Anyway, as we were sitting on the porch smoking who should come walking up but Asshole himself.Friend: You know, that kinda sounded like his car.Me: Nah, it's not. He is over at...oh, shit.And then Asshole comes out, posturing and getting in his face and asking him what he was doing at his house (HIS house? Say what?! You don't live here anymore, sir) and then proceeded to beat the shit out of him.Really. My friend is kind of a wussy and he just kinda sat there and let himself get beate
New And Improved
2007-03-06 14:07:00
So, I decided the dark, dreary layout needed to go. Time for something more light and airy and cheery. Thus the butterflies.~~~~~~~~~~~~Free to good home: One cat, male, intact.Prone to bouts of sudden psychosis that may include: sudden unexplained rampages throughout house; running headfirst into sliding glass doors and/or walls; trying to fit entire body down bath tub drain; stealing baby's socks, hats, and mittens to drag under the depths of the bed, never to be seen again; refusing to let owner use restroom without an escort; refusing to let owner bathe without attempting to sit on top of her head; obsession with wires; chewing on cell phone antennas.Is cute and fluffy.~~~~~~~~~~~~~In other news, Little One is smiling and cooing now. Seeing her beautiful little grin and holding "conversations" with her is really helping me cope. It's so awesome that she's starting to show her personality more and not being just a little blob of poop and hunger cries. Can't wait for that first b
Aw, Crap
2007-03-07 16:12:00
So I woke up this morning and I realized-how am I going to get laid now?Yea, I know. It should be the last thing on my mind, but now that my downstairs no longer feels like someone set off an M80 in there, my libido has been slowly making a comeback. It's not like I woke up feelin' frisky or anything. It was just a sort of random observation.I am used to having booty on call. Now what?It's not like I couldn't. I know there are calls I could make to get some tail. (God, now I sound like a hooker.) Old exes, friends that would, ahem, probably oblige me, being guys and all. But I don't want to just have a one nighter. That's never really been my thing. Call me old fashioned, but I like to have a little emotional attachment with those I sleep with.It's just one of the many things that I have to get used to after taking it for granted for so long. Along with taking the trash out myself, going to check the mail, cleaning the cat box (one perk of pregnancy that I miss, no cat poopies t
Bless Me Father, For I Have Sinned
2007-03-08 04:59:00
It's time for a confession.Oh, you guys are gonna be so mad at me.So Ex has been coming around the last few days, to bring me groceries and run other little errands. We said when we split up that we were going to keep it civil for Little One's sake. And we've been getting along pretty well.And he's started talking about getting back together. He is saying how he was an idiot to let me go, to pull the gone all the time shit, to leave me for HER. She, apparently, is a raving nutter. She's already telling him she loves him, that they should get a place together (she lives with her mom-did I mention she's only 18? Ex is only 21, so it's not sicko or anything, but still) that she doesn't want him to pull out.Yes, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Can you say crazy?So now that he's seen her psychosis, I think he is really regretting what he's done.Here's the confession part-I've actually been considering it. *ducks*I KNOW. I know, I am being a raging idiot. Of course since
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, Father
, Sinned
Digging Up The Past
2007-03-10 01:07:00
Most people that I know do not know how my mother died.A lot of people that I know do not even know that my parents are dead.Whenever anyone asks, I usually just kind of skirt the question, or say something about how we don't get along.I don't really know why this is. I guess it is because I don't want their pity, or to hear the ever present "I'm so sorry." I don't want to see the look they would give me if I told them that my father died of a heart attack when I was seven, and that my mother killed herself when I was sixteen.She had left me and my little sister at home one day to go to work, and never came home that night. Or the next. Or the next. Apparently, she was done with us, and decided to stay at a boyfriend's house in the town that she worked at, rather than come home to her kids. Two months went by. I heard from her once, when she called to say she was coming by to pick something up. (I was living with my grandmother by now, and my little sister was living with my aunt
No Need For Violence
2007-03-09 15:06:00
So I was thinking about it today, and I realized something.For the past week I have thought a lot about hunting his little bitch down and beating the crap out of her for the crap she pulled. But then I figured something out.She's a fucking kid.I told you she was 18, right? Well, there are 18 year olds that are adults and there are 18 year olds that, well, aren't. She is the latter of the two. I see how she talks to him in her messages ("Baby you're so hott. I love you!" ) She is still very much in a high school relationship frame of mind. She doesn't know what it is to have a grown up relationship with grown up problems. She still lives with mommy and daddy and has all her stuff paid for. She doesn't even have a job.And I figure one day, down the road, she will get married, settle down, and have a family, and then she will look back on this and wonder what the hell she thought she was doing. She will think about how she would feel if some little tart was to come along and do the
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