They May Take Our Lives, But They'll Never Take Our Freedom!!
2007-03-12 19:16:00
Sorry. I've been watching Braveheart. God, I love a Scottish accent. Yum.Anyway, mommy's going out this weekend! Ex's parents are watching little one for the weekend so that I can go out and de-stress. And it just so happens to be St. Paddy's day Saturday too.Fake Irish accents anyone?Anyway, I plan to get sloshed and not think about a damn thing but having fun.FYI, like I said before, this may be my last posting for a while, since the Internet's gone any day now. Don't lose faith, loyal readers, I shall return. In the meantime I'll try to get to the library once or twice.
Read more: Lives
, Freedom
A Bit Overwhelmed
2007-03-19 01:21:00
Sometimes, it's all a bit much to handle.I'm reaching the point where I've recovered enough to start thinking about finding a job, and how I'm going to have to find a day care for little one. How I'm going to have to find a smaller apartment because I can't afford this one alone. How I'm going to have to face this all on my own.It scares me.Everyone seems to think I am such a strong person and that I can do this but I don't FEEL strong. I feel helpless and panicked. I feel like everything is weighing me down and slowly smothering me. When I look ahead at the rest of my life, the only bright spot in it is my daughter. The rest of it seems like an endless line of bill paying, working a job I hate, and struggling.I just don't know how to deal with it all.Some days I just want to curl up in a ball and cover my head with a blanket and cry.
Read more: Overwhelmed
A Bit Of All Right
2007-03-23 11:07:00
So, anyway, I'm doing better. SOMEDAY I will quit boring you all with my endless mopings about being dumped. I am still a little stressed, of course. But it's getting better.In other news I had SO MUCH FUN on my weekend off, I spent it with my two best friends and we got drunk and talked. And talked. And talked. We analyzed music, discussed why James Hetfield from Metallica should never have gone sober, why guys like lesbians, psychoanalyzed the weirdness that is my friend's brain, discussed why I am so much better off without Ex and what a whore his new chic is, swapped very strange sex facts ( a guy will ejaculate roughly three gallons of sperm in a lifetime...blech ) and reminisced about our wild, carefree teenage days and how we've all grown up(Sort of). All in all it was exactly what the doctor ordered, and despite my mental breakdown in the last post it really helped lift my spirits.The only bad moment was when I puked (blame it on malt liquor, I should stick to the hard stuf
Read more: Right
I Was A Teenage Idiot
2007-03-27 00:10:00
Oh, my. The memories this post brings back.I think I might have mentioned somewhere before that I went through a phase for about a year when I was teenager where I was drunk or stoned pretty much any time I wasn't in school. I had a group of friends that I had started hanging out with that, while good friends, weren't exactly the best influence. Now I was never really one to cave into peer pressure, it's just that being around it all the time made me curious. So I fell into the same habits they did.Getting stoned? Sure. BAD experiences. First time I did it, I stumbled around feeling nauseous and as though I was going to die for 2 hours before eating three toast sandwiches (just toast...nothing else. No butter, no nothing.) and a bowl of potato salad and falling asleep after shrieking at my then-boyfriend NOT TO TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN OR I'D DIE. Another time (having not learned from my first experience, evidently) my friend and I managed, WITHOUT EITHER OF US KNOWING, to get hold of
Rant-O-Rama
2007-03-29 07:56:00
Nothing like browsing through Craig's List for about an hour to make you want to BITCH your head off. Some days, I don't feel like making the effort to be nice. I get sick and tired of telling everyone that I'm doing ok. Today was one of those days where I woke up with my bitch switch (ha ha ha, I rhyme) flipped on high.To the lady who SPEARED MY CHILD:Yes, I know she had to have her shots. But this ain't the fuckin' Olympics and it is not the javelin throw. All that was missing was a running start. Soup up your technique a bit, yea? Because if you give her a shot that way again, I'll give into my mommy urge and punch you in your over sized nose.To Ex's Whore:What on God's green earth makes you think I want to be friends with you?! Hello, we tried that, and you FUCKED AROUND WITH MY HUSBAND. I do believe that takes you out of the potential friend runnings. No, I do not want to be civil, either. I do not want to lay eyes on your stupid slut face ever again, because I may well re
This Is Why I Hate Cats.
2007-03-28 07:31:00
Today was just great. What with my house nearly burning down and all.I went out to go grocery shopping earlier, taking Little One with me. My grandmother was still here at the house. So I go, get the shopping done, swing by and check the mail, and then head home. On the way up the stairs I thought to myself, "Something smells like burning." Sure enough I open the front door and smoke billows out at me. My grandmother is sitting on the couch, oblivious."What the hell is burning?!" I shriek."Burning? Nothing's burning." says Grandma.So I bundle Little One out onto the patio and go rampaging around the house. Stove? No. Toaster? No. Microwave? Nope. Cigarette burning on the floor? Don't see one.Finally I get to my room and spot the source of the problem. Turns out while I was gone that damn idiot of a cat had decided it would be fun to play with the heat light on top of my snake's cage. He had knocked it off onto the floor. Now these lights aren't like regular light bulbs. They get HO
Mission Impossible
2007-03-31 12:08:00
Well, I finally did it.Today, I tried to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans.I was hopeful at first. Everyone I see comments on how I lost my pregnancy weight so fast. So I figured hey, it's been two months. Time to break out the old wardrobe. I can do this. Piece of cake.So I lay them out on the bed and eyeball them. Never before had they looked so tiny.Alright, I say to myself. Let's do this.Feet go in. Pause. I grab the waist of those sons of bitchs and begin the shimmy dance.You all know the shimmy dance, don't you? The side to side wiggle as you inch those bastards up your legs? You know.I hit the thighs. Pause. Deep breath.Shimmy, shimmy.Pause.What the hell?SHIMMY SHIMMY SHIMMY.I-shimmy-can-shimmy-do-shimmyshimmy-THIS!Pant, pant.Yank-shimmy-pull-yank-shimmyshimmyshimmy.And they're up.Ha! Victory is mine! screams the voice of Stewie Griffin in my brain.Uh oh. I have to button these bastards, don't I?Pause. Stare. Firmly grasp both sides and pull. Pull.Pull, woman, pull! Suck it i
Read more: Mission
, Mission Impossible
I'd Like To Thank The Academy....
2007-03-31 04:35:00
Woot! I got my first blog award! Bestowed upon me by the wonderful and gracious Cyndi.Thank
you, awesome lady! I'll try to control my giddiness so I can post the rules:The directions I was given are these: 1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think, 2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme, 3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote.My nominees are all wonderful women. They will make you think, make you ponder your own life, leave you nodding your head in agreement on a daily basis, and are just all around awesome chics. All are a daily read of mine (when I can get to the net) and all are well worth the time. Go! Read them! 1. Memoirs Of A Dysfunctional Housewife2. Dancing Through3. Motherhood Uncensored4. A Girl And A Boy5. Mommies Are People, Too
Read more: Academy
All Is Well
2007-04-05 03:46:00
Just thought I would let you guys know-all is well with the doctor fiasco. No one besides Old Fart is the least bit worried about my parenting, My doctor referred me to a different clinic that Little One will be going to from now on, gave them all another talking to, and all I have to do is let the social services lady know that I am, indeed, taking her to the doctor to be checked out.No one's coming to do a visitation or taking my daughter.If they had, you guys wouldn't be hearing from me anymore because I'd have killed them all Ninja style and run away to hide in the mountains, daughter in tow.Amazingly enough my internet has stayed on all this time but they actually are gonna turn it off in the next day or two, so don't worry if I disappear for a bit. All is well.Why does Blogger think internet needs to be capitalized? I refuse.And you know what pisses me off? I had this dream last night about a guy I worked with at my old job. I had the biggest crush on him. He was so freaking
Talk About Jumping The Gun
2007-04-04 18:36:00
So I spent most of last night researching this whole "failure to thrive" crap that the Old Asshat tried to pin on my daughter, and you know what?She doesn't have any of the symptoms. Not ONE.She isn't below the fifth fucking percentile in weight, she's at the 25th. Below average a bit, but nothing to warrant the crap he pulled.She's right on target with her height and her mental and social development. She does everything a baby her age is supposed to do.She's not unresponsive or excessively sleepy, she doesn't avoid eye contact. Nothing.So basically an exam that should have led to a normal conversation about how we could get her to up her weight a bit led to accusations of neglect and threats of having CPS take my baby.When I go back today I'm getting that fucker's name and I am filing a complaint. This shit is ridiculous.Not to mention, hello, I'm not exactly big myself. I'm 5'3 and before I got pregnant I weighed about 100 pounds soaking wet. Pregnancy was the only thing
Read more: Jumping
Old Man River Needs To Retire
2007-04-04 01:32:00
Holy lord, what a fucking day.Little One had a doctor's appointment today. When they weighed her it turns out she is a bit below where she should be weight wise. So we go in for her physical exam.Here's where it all goes downhill.Right off the bat I notice the doctor is a bit, well, old. But I think to myself, hey, grandfatherly, and let it go.He starts the exam. Checks her tummy, shines the little light in her eyes, looks in her mouth."How are her bowel movements?" he asks."Fine."He again grabs the little light. Shines it in her eyes again. Checks her tummy again. Looks in her mouth again."And how are her bowel movements?"Blink. "Um, they're fine."He grabs the light AGAIN. Shines it in her eyes. AGAIN. Checks her tummy. AGAIN. Looks in her mouth. AGAIN."How are her bowel movements?"I stare. "They're just FINE." I say loudly. Maybe Methuselah here didn't hear me the first two times.And oh my god, he grabs the light A-FUCKING-GAIN. He proceeds to examine my daughter for the fourth
Read more: River
, Needs
, Old Man
Back Again
2007-05-05 04:26:00
Well I'm back!I'm temporarily using crappy dial up *uhg* so it's amazingly irritating slogging through pages at the speed of smell-but at least I'm online again.All is well here. Little One and I are doing fine, though we did have a scare when her new doctor found a heart murmer and we had to whisk her off to the cardiologist for testing, but nothing is wrong. Just a small, benign heart murmer, no holes or leaks or anything.Other than that it's been the same old wildly boring life.Really, I can't much think of anything to post about. I have a mild case of writer's block at the moment. Someone tag me for a meme or something, please!
Read more: Again
To Hell With Dial Up, Anyway
2007-05-11 18:56:00
So I haven't been posting much. The battle dial up requires to do the simplest damn things just annoys me too much to struggle into my account most days.Anyway
, not too much going on here. Ex has started trying to turn this whole thing around on me by insisting that I have cheated on him with an old guy friend of mine that I've been friends with since eighth grade. Which I didn't. But I suppose it makes him feel better to try and turn things around on me so that he doesn't have to feel bad.Whatever.People with road rage need to, you know, not drive, because the crappy Honda Civic that tried to swerve back and forth in front of me and motioned for me to pull over so the four ghetto fabulous guys in it could get out and whip my ass or whatever, while my daughter is in the car, yea, they need to not be on the road. My meek little Chevy Malibu stomped their ass in my daring getaway, though. Let them take that back to cracktown and tell their homies. Uhg.Anybody else have unfufilled dre
Plant Madness!
2007-05-16 02:43:00
I got plants! Yay me. I know it's lame but there's not a single plant in this house and I felt it was high time I added some. Ivys are tough, right? Cause I'm plant retarded.If you all promise not to have heart attacks I might post some pictures of my snakes next. They're pretty, I promise.Anyway that's about it from me. Little One is finally packing on weight, yay for her!I have actually begun speaking via myspace messages to Ex's chic. (She made the first move). He better watch out, we're going to start comparing notes and wind up kicking his ass. It's not really a friendship per say so much as a "Why's he doing this?!" kind of thing. I am, after all, the expert on his asshole ways. I think he's cheating on her. Kharma's a bitch, for sure.Uhg, that's about it for me.
Read more: Plant
, Madness
Self Pity Bonanza
2007-05-19 18:47:00
Today I'm going to whine.Because yea, guess what I'm doing today? I'm sitting at home. While all my friends go to the beach. And I wanna go to the motherfuckin' beach.But I can't, as I have no one to watch Little One, and what would I do with a four month old at the beach?You know, I'm only 22. I still want to DO stuff. I am not really at the point in my life where I am perfectly content sitting at home all day changing diapers and wiping up drool. I dearly love my daughter, of course. And I love spending time with her and watching her goofy grins and watching her try her damndest to sit up and then getting her mad face when she can't.But still.That's ALL I DO.I get out of the house to go grocery shopping. Or to check the mail. Or to go buy diapers.Step back! I'm crazy and out of control! Put me on motherfuckin' Mommies Gone Wild!I don't even really like the beach here. The water's a nasty browny-grey color and there's seaweed everywhere and I don't really like how itchy
Woot! They Live!
2007-05-18 19:59:00
My Morning Glories are growing! Having never had plants before I'm kinda surprised at how giddy I feel seeing those little leaves pop out of the dirt. Soon I shall be one of those people whose porches look like someone transplanted the Amazon outside their front door. You half expect to see a monkey pop out at any second. Yay for me.Also the dates on this (borrowed) digital camera are not right. And I have no clue how to fix it. Oh well.I got tagged for a meme by this lady.The gist, I believe, is that you link to five bloggers you've never linked to before.So, in no particular order:1. Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper2. Attack Of The Redneck Mommy3. random mommy. limited cleverness.4. Joy Unexpected5. Irreverent Antisocial IntellectualThere we go. Since I amaze one and all with my laziness I tag EVERYONE! I hereby declare this a meme free for all. Have at it.Little One has topped 11 pounds! She gained 10 ounces in 1 week! So those docs can shove it up their you-know-what. She is just g
*Sigh*
2007-05-27 21:54:00
I'm not in the best of moods. Just in a funk, I suppose. Haven't really been posting much lately.I'll get better. I've just kinda been missing Ex lately. It's hard seeing him with someone new. I gave him three years of my life and had a baby with him, after all.And I get kicked to the curb in return.Fuck it.I always had myself classified as one of those, "I don't need no stinkin' man." types. Turns out that yea, maybe I was a bit overconfident in that respect. Not that I NEED a man, per say. Just that I really do like having one around.Cuddling is nice. Having someone to watch scary movies with is nice. (Because me? I'm a total chicken shit, and I will have to sleep with the lights on if I watch anything alone. Because when I saw Blair Witch Project and went to bed that night, my warped brain totally SAW a hand coming over the edge of the bed to grab me and, omigod, now I'm traumatized.)Anyway.I miss him. I've been fighting it but I do indeed miss his sorry ass.This gets bett
I'm Back, and I've moved!
2008-01-19 18:10:00
If anyone's still out there, I've decided to start blogging again...and I've started a new blog here.Pop on over and check it out.
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