Owner: What a mind job. URL:http://yayobanderas.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Thu, 10 Aug 2006 06:41:56 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: You may, at some stage, feel compelled to share intricate details of your life with other people. Sure, you rationalise, "I’m pretty important, I live an interesting life". Sure, you jest, people will be fixated on your words like a fat bitch loves mud ca Site statistics:Click here
Shut the fuck up Kerri-Anne 2006-09-19 01:37:00
Kerri-Anne: When will she learn, to shut the fuck up? She always interrupts her guests, only to ask 3rd-grade level questions, or to make imbecillic comments that do not have anything to do with anything. You fat fucking whore. Her word retrieval deficit is similar to that of Daryl Somers, who degenerated on Australian TV Airwaves from reasonably witty comments, to "heyyyyy, hooooooo!". Why do b-grade TV personalities feel the need to talk, to fill in silences with their cockroach voices that lack substance? It's pure fucking luck that such a fat, obnoxious whore like Kerri-Anne is even on TV (even considering the geriatric timeslot). When will you learn to shut the fuck up, Kerri-Anne?
The Science of Tasty Doughnuts & Addictive Coffee 2006-08-10 14:15:00
Food chains must think we are fucking stupid. Until this very moment, they have faked openness and wholesomeness, and have pulled it off well. Here, I present a number of big secrets. Some things you shouldn't know. The elements that make Krispy Kreme and Starbucks taste so good.
1. Reused oil
2. Trans-fats
3. Refined sugar
4. Unpronouncable additives
5. Abused cow-teets
5. Trance-states
Krispy Kreme
Delightful, aren't they? People buy them by the box-load, don't they? Snacks for manic-depressives, KK is guaranteed to make you shine - like some
ball-less radioactive superhero
. A nutrient profile any mother would be proud of,
16g FAT
with the deadly triad of month-old, reused canola (industrial grade), soybean, and palm oils heated with KKs special trans-fat frying machines that exceed the core temperature of Hell (4,203,544c). Also,
42g of carbs
with the dicky duo of bleached white flour and hardkore Read more:Science
, Tasty
, Doughnuts
, Addictive
, Coffee
The 3 Golden Rules of Communication 2006-07-01 12:31:00
1. Remember, no one gives a fuck about you
You may, at some stage, feel compelled to share intricate details of your life with other people. Sure, you rationalise, "I'm pretty important, I live an interesting life". Sure, you jest, people will be fixated on your words like a fat bitch loves mud cake. But, consider one fact, if you would: Your life is pathetic. And, you are boring. No one wants to hear you speak, let alone digest random ramblings about your irrelevant existence and the particular way in which you perceive it. What you do, interests nobody beyond yourself. So, before you decide to tempt fate (and ask for an elbow to the face), spare the poor piece of shit you are conversing with. Unless such disclosure is solicited (see out clause below), simply shut the fuck up. It really works, I promise. Now, how's that for a dose of reality, you babbling fuck-stick? Good! Keep reading.
OUT CLAUSE: This rule need not be heeded if you are detailing: 1) how you won more tha Read more:Golden
, Rules
The Science of Good Chocolate 2005-09-27 01:25:00 Chocolate
manufacturers must think we are fucking stupid. They think we don't know what constitutes good chocolate. Well, not any more. Here, I present a secret. A big fucking secret. Something you shouldn't know. The three elements that make chocolate good.
1. Cocoa to sugar ratio2. Quality of ingredients used3. Absence of colourings and chemicals
Collectively, these factors dictate how chocolate tastes, feels in your mouth, and makes you feel afterwards. Research you may have heard promising that 'chocolate can be beneficial for your health' needs to be clarified. When that story broke out, fat women everywhere started eating chocolate by the trolley-load, feeling liberated in their menstruation-induced chocolate-fury. But, fuck no. That shit is incorrect and out of context. It's really the COCOA in chocolate that has any healthful effects. The COCOA contains flavonol's, which are the mystical phytonutrients that prevent oxidation, stimulate your immune system, an Read more:Science
Who the fuck are you, cockroach? 2005-09-27 01:14:00 Leave me a comment, and tell me who the fuck you are, cockroach.
Do it, generic asshole. Leave a comment. Or I will steal your numberplates and drive past your local police station at 280km/h, or 174 mph if you are stupid enough to live in a country that uses mph. Fucker.
Pseudo-intellectual kernal head 2005-09-26 14:13:00 What, are you fucking stupid?
Generic asshole.
I'll fucking king hit you with a microphone stand. Read more:Pseudo
4WD owners need to be bashed 2005-09-11 15:21:00 You know, 4WD vehicles are increasingly popular today. But, there are only two types people who own them: 1) those who live in the crevices of a mountain made of stone, dirt, gravel and manure, and 2) those who live in suburbia on perfectly normal, sealed roads. So, let's examine the second group more closely. Yes, the sad, insecure cohort of life-rejects who drive big 4WDs in regular suburbs and cities. Here is a consideration of the statistics: Well, it looks like inner-city 4WD drivers do need to be run off the road and into concrete pylons. Either that, or bashed with high-quality steering wheel locks. They will always remain insecure, intellectually touched assholes that continue to plough through the suburban roads thinking they dominate other traffic, and everything that moves. Yep, who'd a thought buying a 4WD could turn a softcock jerkoff into a real man.
Crazy frog - New age drug dealer 2005-09-07 11:18:00
Would it surprise you that the crazy frog concept has raked in over $24 million dollars since it began? Absolutely not! Look at the market the creators are exploiting! Teenie dumbfucks … to drill down this demographic more specifically, I suspect they are predominantly female virgins under 15 years of age who own colourful mobile phones. Don't forget, they have rich parents who will buy these fuckin' brats anything they whine for.
Now, these fucksticks will consume anything! Anything that is perceived as "cool'. They go through stupid phases like wearing g-strings at age 13, getting a tattoo on their ass crack, and wearing ¾ length bike pants. Now they suck up every fuckin' variation of the original "ding ding" ringtone - which, incidentally, was recorded on a shit microphone by some European heap of shit who decided to imitate a scooter. Now if this doesn't give you some insight into the intelligence of the creator of the crazy frog, I really don't Read more:Crazy
, New age
I hate Kirstie Alley 2005-09-06 13:32:00
What a fat, sweaty, worthless drug-fucked whore she is. She appears on my TV screen every lunchtime and dinner, screaming out "fat chick" mantra's while bouncing on a trampoline. She harasses the viewer like a true nutjob with her trademarkâ„¢ cocaine-induced husky voice.
She raves on about how Jenny Craig allows her to eat "chocolate cake!" and "fettuccini!". Perhaps that's the reason why she's still a fat fuck. There is no doubt she is the mascot for all fat whores the world over, who must feel a jolt of liberation to see a fat woman on TV finally making waves.
In fact, this bitch openly admitted to using cocaine in the 70's to "shed pounds'. It induced hardcore psychosis and paranoia. No shit. Watch her on the Jenny Craig ad's. She appears to have no greater cognitive functioning than our friend Gilbert Grape - however, to her credit, she may actually be a pretty fuckin' good actor (anyone in Hollywood looking to cast a psychiatric patient please conta
How to beat fuel prices 2005-09-06 07:27:00 Roof methodClass: 7, Skill required,: 9, Risk assessment: 9.8, Impression: 10.DIRECTIONS: Pounce on the roof of a passing car. Secure your propeller hat, set it to "fly". Gain enough momentum before the asshole driving the car gets caught at a red light. Leap into the air before the car loses momentum. You should find yourself gaining altitude rapidly, indicating your propeller hat is fully functional. Steer yourself with skyward head movements. Hover directly above your designated location, remove hat. You may find yourself plummeting at a speed of 2800ft/sec. This is normal. You may report a loss of vision and/or consciousness. This is also normal. You may want to ignore pre-recorded pleas from the hat to "pull up, pull up". Perfect for making a grand entrance, and impressing that girl you want to fuck in the ass. Just don't die doing it, idiot.Refried Beans method:Class: 5, Skill required,: 3, Risk assessment: 4.5, Impression: 7.DIRECTIONS: Eat several cans of Refried Bean
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