Owner: Cinnamon Marine URL:http://cinnamonmarine.blogspot.com Join Date: Thu, 10 Aug 2006 04:46:53 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: Rock music. Diet obsession. Hamster antics. Ramblings of a 20-something woman. Do not expect deep thought. Site statistics:Click here
Something significant? 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Apparently this is my 500th post to this blog. I suppose in theory I ought to be saying something deeply profound about what I have learned about myself in the last 499 posts, the journey I've taken over the past 18 months or however long it is I've taken to reach this point, blah blah blah. Clearly that's not going to happen. I'll just say to whoever might happen by that I hope you at least find parts of it interesting.Actually, I know some of what I've written is interesting some people. Periodic checking of the sitemeter throws up some oddities as far as referrals here go. The majority are from the message board I post to - my blog url is in my signature - and quite a lot come from weird, non-obvious searches on Google (largely calorie related recently). But I know the Folio Society has posted a couple of links to posts of mine in the members' section of their website, and I also discovered recently that a post on the other blog is linked to on a website devoted to all things
Falling in love with a dress 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I've been tormenting myself with a dress
. During my roaming round town yesterday I went into Laura Ashley and saw a gorgeous dress in the sale. It is mid-calf on me, chocolate silk with faded flowers in deep blues and pinks, plus an underskirt to give it the sort of forties and fifties look. In the sale it is £40, down from £99. Given that it's silk I thought I would end up paranoid about wearing the thing - what if I spilled something down it and ruined it on first wearing? Strangely, while this could happen with pretty much any outfit it's only something I seem to worry about with luxury fabrics. So rather than spend the rest of the day thinking about the dress I decided it would be most sensible to try the thing on to prove to myself it doesn't suit me. And as seems to have happened a couple of times in Laura Ashley that plan backfired.It fits. It fits like a glove. It feels fabulous, it looks wonderful. And I've been thinking overnight that my white hat will go bri
Erm, what? 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Okay, I give up. I'm never going to understand my body and its weight issues. This morning I'm definitely on 9st 7, and rather than baing on the low side inching towards 9st 6 the scales would indicate that if anything I'm edging upwards. I'm practically living on fruit here, what the hell is going on? Mind you, I might need to focus more towards the veg than the fruit, it clearly has fewer calories. And of course, fruit has a lot of natural sugar. Maybe salads are the way to go? Will keep playing. I've just worked out yesterday's calorie intake was in the region of 1500 cals, which was a bit of a shock. But I bought the dress in any case. And it was even more of a bargain than I had anticipated, because the items marked with a red cross were buy one, get one free - so I ended up with the gorgeous chocolate brown, silk dress, and another dress which isn't as nice but will be good for casual weekends in the summer. Next provided me with a chocolate coloured bra with blu
But it's still only January! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I was in the office until 8.45 this evening. Yesterday I was there until nearly 10pm. Tomorrow I have a meeting in the evening, Friday no doubt I will be finishing everything that needs to be done for the session on Saturday, and Sunday I have to go to a conference. Return from the conference on Tuesday to go straight into yet another bloody evening meeting. At what point I am I allowed some free time?The trouble is, everyone else has all these bright ideas which have to be done instantly but of course it's never bloody them who has to do it, is it? No, it's always stuff that has to be dumped on me. And I'm fucking sick of it. Especially when they never meet their obligations in return. I'm waiting on something from one of them that I said I had to have on Monday. If it isn't sitting in my inbox in the morning I will do something else and they will have to put up with it - they're causing me enough problems as it is. I want to take a day off next week because I'm going Read more:January
Heading out 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Just popping by to say I haven't died or anything, I've just had a shitty week timewise and am about to head off to a conference. Must remember to set the video for Top Gear and Waking the Dead before I go. Read more:Heading
So, what's been happening? 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I haven't been on line since Sunday morning, and even then it wasn't for long so I haven't had a chance to catch up with the blogging of late. Not that I was doing anything last week which was remotely of interest to anyone (including me). Add stupid work hours to that and there just seemed to be little point in being on here of a morning before work when all I really wanted to do was curl up under the duvet and not move for a fortnight. I hate when I reach those exhaustion points. I can't think of one day last week when I was working fewer than 12 hours, and Thursday was particularly awful because I ended up putting in 15. Saturday I worked until mid-afternoon, so no day off there, and Sunday I was rushing round like a mad thing in the morning getting ready to have to head off for a conference. Got back from the conference yesterday, had an hour at home then I had to go out again for a meeting. The boss was joking about us being in for 8 this morning. At least, I think he w
So what's been happening? Part two 1970-01-01 00:59:59 So, the conference. Same as every year really, although this was the first time I did one sober. This was apparently a big deal, especially when it p0assed midnight and I was still in the bar with an increasingly plastered set of colleagues. There wasn't a pressure to drink or anything like that, just a general thought along the lines of "Cinnamon isn't drinking? Weird." I did have to smack down my trainee at one point though - he needs to learn when he is crossing lines.Unfortunately the being sober means I have a clear image of one particularly hairy colleague deciding to flash his boxers for no apparent reason. Not a pretty sight.I'm still feeling tired. It probably won't be until the weekend that I get a chance to catch up on my sleep. At the moment it doesn't look like I am being expected to work on Saturday, so any suggestion that I do so at the moment is going to be met with a polite refusal. Last week's ridiculous work schedule, coupled with the conference, has pl
Random photo from freeimages.co.uk 1970-01-01 00:59:59 No, there's no particular reason for it. I just thought the blog could do with some images every now and then. I've found this website - Free images - where I can download stock images for use on the condition they get a credit so here's a random tree.In theory I'm going to be looking for things t0 illustrate blog posts, but given that I don't really have a clear idea what I'm going to write each time I log on this might well not work out. So be prepared for totally random photos cropping up that I think look pretty or interesting. Read more:Random
The magic of paper 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I like stationery. I will spend ages in shops examining fairly ordinary notepads, buy notebooks I don't need because they look pretty and generally build up a collection of stationery that no one really needs and which will languish in my desk drawer for ever more. About 14 years ago I bought a set of writing paper
and envelopes in Italy, with beautiful decorations in the corners of the paper and on the lining of the envelopes. So far I have used one sheet of this stuff. I just haven't had anything special enough to use it for I guess. This morning in WH Smith I was looking at sets of note cards and pretty writing sets. But what would be the point in buying them when I don't write letters anymore? Letters are wonderful things, an artform we seem to be gradually losing. The only person to whom I have written actual letters, on paper and with real ink and everything, in years was a friend of mine on a six month tour of duty in Iraq. Haven't communicated with him since shortly after
Rugby report 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Okay, so I don't know why that last post won't format as I want it to. There should be spaces between the paragraphs, but for some reason blogger wasn't liking that for that post. Maybe it was something to do with the photo.It was a relief to see England having greatly improved from when I saw them play Argentina. I was worried I had paid £65 for the privilege of seeing them lose to Italy next week but it might be that they will actually win. Final score against Scotland was 42 - 20, including a Jonny Wilkinson try which really wasn't because his foot was in touch. It was impressive to see him at work again when he hasn't played international rugby in such a long time, and has only played 40 minutes at club level in the last few months. I must say, I was rather dubious about him being picked for the squad but he handled it well. I disagree with Brian Moore though - Harry Ellis should have been man of the match.It isn't really a good sign for the future of English rugby, t Read more:report
, Rugby
The meaning of home 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I'm in a mildly introspective mood this morning but don't really have the words for the vague feelings which are circling my mind at the moment. Instead, I give you a paragraph from The Wind in the Willows, which I recently bought for my cousin's sons:The weary Mole also soon had his head on his pillow. But ere he closed his eyes he let them wander round his old room, mellow in the glow of the firelight that played on familiar and friendly things. He saw clearly how plain and simple - how narrow, even - it all was; but clearly, too, how much it all meant to him. He did not at all want to abandon the new life, to turn his back on sun and air; the upper world was all too strong, it called to him still, even down there, and he knew he must return. But it was good to think he had this to come back to, this place which was all his own, these things which were so glad to see him again and could always be counted upon for the same simple welcome.
Step away from the food 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I'm clearly eating too much again. Although the scales are saying 9st 8lbs, which is better than I feared, I am grazing far too much. Last night I added broccoli, cauliflower, ham, peppers and mushrooms to a packet mix macaroni cheese and thought that half the total quantity would be fine as dinner because it was quite filling. I ended up eating the second half later in the evening, in spite of not being hungry at the time. Really, really, really shouldn't be doing that. I listened to the McKenna CD again last night and will try to make sure I listen to it every night when I go to bed. It really does help when I'm using it; it's just that the will power bit seems to wear off if I haven't listened to it for a while.And I admit I'm being a bit down on myself for my weight creeping up again even though I really shouldn't. Let's face it, this time last year I was just starting to lose weight having nearly hit 11 stone, so being safely under 10st is quite an improvement. I'
This is stunning 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Check out this link for an amazing image. Actually, there are plenty of others on that site too, so go play when you've finished gazing in wonder at the first one.
Big decisions 1970-01-01 00:59:59 The Folio Society has written again, this time reminding me that I have to choose another book before the end of the month to complete this year's membership. They have sent the full catalogue again so I really need to sit down and make a decision. Much as I want the Apocrypha they have recently brought out, I am having such an expensive month that I would be annoyed with myself if I bought it. Same goes for the Book of Common Prayer, which is a beautiful edition and which I would be buying for that beauty rather than for the words, sicne I'm not actually overly keen on the BCP. So, something inexpensive. There's Elizabeth David's Italian Food, to go with her Book of Mediterranean Food which I already have. Josephus' Life of Herod, which is extracted from Jewish Antiquities - but I already own the complete works of Josephus (in a bit of a tatty paperback, but still), just as I already own a translation of the complete Dead Sea Scrolls. How about fiction? Cold Comfort Farm b
It's February, here comes winter 1970-01-01 00:59:59 There is snow outside. I've already been out in it today and am hoping it goes away before I have to go to work tomorrow. Driving up to the garage this morning wasn't too hairy, although being able to avoid the narrow roads which never see a gritting truck helped on that score. Not many people were about either. I walked back into town and after a browse round took the bus home but went over to Starbucks for a coffee and a read first.Don't know what the car is going to cost to repair. I've asked my mechanic to have a look at the heating as well as changing the cam belt in the general service because I have been freezing on the way to work of late so I don't think the heating is working properly. It's going to be a couple of hundred pounds, clearly. I hope it isn't too much more than £250. I had Jareth out for a run around on the futon this morning since he was awake and looking lively. Otis immediately leapt up to have a look as well, and I wish I had had my camera to h Read more:February
, comes
, winter
Unexpectedly expensive 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Well, sadly my estimate for the car repairs was really quite badly wrong. £464.64. Bugger. I've been working out the finances though and am owed a couple of hundred quid in expenses, which will help. Not having to pay council tax in March is also a good thing. I suspect I am going to end up paying some interest on the computer rather than being able to pay it all off before the beginning of April. Nick tells me that the exhaust is starting to rust as well, so no doubt next year's expensive repair work will be changing that. And I had been thinking about planning a weekend away for my 30th in October. I suppose I don't need to start buying tickets or whatever yet, but the cheap flights I've seen will probably have long gone by the time I think I can afford it. Maybe I should just save up for a Nintendo Wii instead, I really want one of those now. There is speculation on the snopes message board that Guiter Hero is going to be released on the Wii - how much fun will that be?
Another day of domesticity 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I've been at work on the kitchen and bathroom today. The kitchen was reorganised, much was thrown away, and the end result is that I have a pretty clear windowsill and far more space on the work surfaces. Both bathroom and kitchen floors were washed, and I finally got round to using the grout whitening stuff I bought in the Lake District over a year ago now in the bathroom. Mixed results on that front, but there is an improvement. I think I am going to paint it white, although I'm still undecided about whether or not to do the tiles.I think I was in part inspired by doing the rounds of various showhomes in various housing developments. In spite of the fact that these are always clearly laid out in a way that no one actually living in a place would have it (one place I looked at had four bedrooms and the only wardrobe I could see was the one built-in wardrobe in the master bedroom) I do like the minimalism they have. Wasn't terribly convinced by any of them as homes really. Th
Feeling blue 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I'm having a bout of depression again I think. Work is being too much of an effort, my eating habits are all over the place and I just don't want to talk to anyone. A year ago I would be disappearing into a bottle right now, so at least I don't have that side of things to worry about. The job search is being interesting. I hope to see at least one thing each time I buy the Guardian that I think I would like to apply for, and while there wasn't really anything yesterday there is another option today which would mean a pay rise of a minimum of £7,000 - so of course, with the mood I'm in, I'm thinking I'm being over ambitious and won't even be considered. It means quite a bit of responsibility, being head of a department in effect, and is quite a change of tack, but on the other hand it's basically admin, which is largely what I do right now in any case. It would also mean a daily commute, unless I can find something I could afford to buy nearer the workplace, which seems u Read more:Feeling
, Feeling blue
The Valentine's loathing continues 1970-01-01 00:59:59 So far today I've had my smug engaged trainee ask me whether I'm doing anything for Valentine
's Day (knowing full well I'm single), and one of the volunteers (who is also single and therefore should know better) came into my office and repeatedly expressed surprise that I wasn't surrounded by flowers or overwhelmed with cards. A recreation of the Valentine's Day Massacre is proving tempting at this point...
Longing for a memory 1970-01-01 00:59:59 The object of my obsession at uni has been appearing in my dreams again. So I've been looking for him online. Stalker tendencies also rear their head when I think about him. I think it's because of the single woman's most hated day of the year which occurred earlier in the week. I usually say I've never received a Valentine's card in my life, and then I remember what he sent me in my first year. It looked like a notelet into which he had stuck a Shakespearean sonnet printed on his computer, with a hand written envelope. He had left it in my pigeonhole, and I still don't know why he picked me. Still got it, even now. No doubt he sent several at the same time, but even so, I've never been sure what it was he saw when he looked at me. He spent several nights with me over the course of a couple of years, but would hardly acknowledge me in public. He was so beautiful, but he knew it. That was a man who could pull off a sneer. He exuded an air of superiority, which made me e Read more:Longing
Unexpected faces 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I ran into an old friend from uni yesterday as I was ambling out of town in the direction of my car. It was weird to see him appearing on a street in my town - I haven't seen him since another friend's wedding a couple of years ago. MC, it seems, now lives here. His wife (I think wife, could be girlfriend) H works at the hospital and MC commutes to the town I'm applying for a job in to work. He thinks the commute is fine, so if I get an interview I hope I can persuade my prospective employers of the same thing. Need to do some work on that application this afternoon.Anyway, MC has suggested meeting up with our other uni friends who are in town as well (and whom I hardly ever see, but never mind) for an evening out sometime. Would be cool. Won't hold my breath on that though, I know how these sort of things go. MC has my email address so I shall leave it up to him ultimately. Would be a nice change though, and he claimed to have been thinking of seeing if I was still around the plac Read more:Unexpected
, faces
Memories of loved ones 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A private message from an individual on a message board has just left me crying. Or rather, the attempt to reply to the PM caused the tears. It was a brief couple of lines to say thank you for posting words of comfort in a thread requesting prayers and vibes because his Mother was dying. My post was after the news of her death, and it still surprises me that the words of someone I've never met and may never meet move me to write a few words to him. But then, I suppose you do feel you know the people through the screen, at keyboards in far flung parts of the world. I felt I needed to respond to the PM but as with the initial post I find it hard to know what to say. I hope I didn't get it wrong this time, but I've never been any good at saying the right thing in situations like that.The description of his Mother's last few days and the good weekend she spent playing with her grandchild set me thinking of my Grandad. He died in June 2004, and while I saw him before he died it w Read more:loved
Traveller on the road 1970-01-01 00:59:59 My Mum just called me, which was unusual in itself at 10 o'clock at night. When the phone rings at that time I tend to assume it's either going to be a dead call, a heavy breather or some kind of emergency. In this instance it was my Mum with an anecdote.A year ago last November, a gentleman of the road had turned up at church in a merry condition one Evensong. Mum and the churchwardens had chatted with him and got him to quiet down when he was being a bit rowdy, but he sat at the back and enjoyed the service. It was a cold night so Mum asked him where he was going to be staying. He intended to bed down in the churchyard and wouldn't hear of any offer of a bed. He was provided with a flask of tea and that was that. He left again in the morning.Well, it seems he has reappeared. Looking rather neater and more sober this time round, he sat at the back during the Ash Wednesday service this evening. Mum chatted with him afterwards before going home to make him some sandwiches an Read more:Traveller
Pointless musings 1970-01-01 00:59:59 How do you know what sort of relationship would suit you, if you've never experienced what you think you want? Is it possible or even desirable to describe what basically amounts to a text exchange as a meaningful relationship, or a relationship at all? I've been pondering these things a bit this week, largely it has to be said because of the coincidence of a day of particularly pornographic email exchanges with the printer and me watching Secretary for the first time. One could argue that the thing with the printer is the longest relationship I've ever had. He knows my tastes in music, a bit about my home life and family, my tattoo obsession; I know about his musical taste, the fact that he's a cat person even though he now finds a dog occupying his home, that he goes to watch the football fairly frequently and that he still enjoys the odd rowdy evening in a nightclub in spite of having just turned 40 this week. Strangely, I don't actually know the name of his wife, and altho Read more:Pointless
It's the waiting that's the hard bit 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I saw Jareth out of his house this evening, for the first time in days. He looked so old. He was trying to climb slowly back up to the top level where his house is, his eyes were barely open and every movement of his tiny feet seemed a struggle. It was heartbreaking to watch. For the last week he has hardly left his house, he isn't eating, and while he is drinking a little he isn't taking in much fluids. I've moved his house down to the lowest level before the floor of the cage and removed the top level so he won't have to clib up too high. I've also put a bowl of food right in front of the opening to his house and he has reached out for a bit of cucumber, which is something. His paws barely have the strength to hold it though and he kept dropping it. He's such a pathetic sight. My little baby is so very old, he can't have long left, and I really hadn't realised until now how upsetting it is to see. Maybe because the only contact I've had with him for days is looking
Tired and malfunctioning 2007-03-02 23:36:00 Not really got anything much to say, except I'm really glad I don't have to work this weekend. I'm feeling generally wiped out and fed up - my mood has not improved in the last few days. Otis has been stroppy because I've been out so many evenings, and has made his displeasure known by thumping loudly at 12.45am and waking me up, peeing on the futon one evening and the following morning, and in addition to the repeated attempted rape of my feet he is biting my ankles. Jareth is hanging onto life by his claws. I had him out of the cage this evening and gave him a gentle brush since he isn't managing to groom himself. The poor little thing is skin and bone. Last night I noticed him crawling out of his house for a pee almost immediately outside his front door, then turning round and going straight back in. He looks positively arthritic. Do hamsters get arthritis? I've put his food bowl right by the house but he still doesn't seem to be eating. When I had him out of the cag
Things you don't expect to hear in the morning 2007-03-06 07:37:00 I was woken up by the opening riff of Sweet Child O' Mine when my alarm clock-radio switched on at 6am. This might not have been unexpected if I wasn't listening to the Today programme on Radio 4. It would appear they are going to run a piece on Chinese Democracy, today being the date that Axl said late last year it would be released. Inevitably no sign of the album still, although a message on the band's website from Del James says it is in the mixing stage now. Still, it's not the sort of thing you usually expect from Radio 4.
Application dilemmas 2007-03-08 23:50:00 I've spent this evening finally drafting the covering letter for yet another job application. I know this is the first one I will have applied for in a fair few months now, but it is a terribly depressing process. Selling oneself on paper is really hard to do - I'm not good at selling myself in any case but I don't want to keep saying 'I this' or 'I that'. Helpful guidance from the snopes message board stressed the importance of focussing on how your skills will be of benefit to the prospective employer, which is what I have tried to do. I just can't help feeling that what I have written is terribly wooly and unconvincing. Still, at least a draft has been achieved. I've sent it to Mum for a read and suggestions and will aim to send it off first thing Saturday morning.The thing I was really uncertain about was contacting someone I work with to ask if they would be a referee for me. My boss won't be a problem, he's been aware of previous applications. I just don't wan Read more:Application
, dilemmas
RIP Jareth 2007-03-10 22:15:00 I got home from work on Friday to find that Jareth was dead. He was curled up in his house and it looked like he had died in his sleep. While I had been half-expecting this for a couple of months now it was actually quite upsetting to find him cold like that. This morning I brushed his fur and clipped off the tangled bits, then Mum and I took him up to my Grandparents' where we buried him under the apple tree. Mum bought some basil and we made a sweet smelling nest for him then covered him over in it before filling in the hole. We've planted snowdrops to mark the place. My poor little baby. I was remembering this morning the time I was woken by a scrabbling sound at 1.30am and having lain in bed wondering what the hell it could be finally turned on the light. Jareth appeared from behind the laundry basket and sat in the middle of the floor, looking at me as if to say "What? I wasn't doing anything!" He was a sweet little creature, and I'm going to miss him.
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