Owner: My Natal Tongue URL:http://mynataltongue.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 09:11:36 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Confessions of a Flailing Superwoman . . . Site statistics:Click here
Talking Myself Into and Back Out of Things 2008-07-10 08:56:00 The Fourth of July is over.I'm kinda of pissed off at myself. I went to bed last night and laid there thinking of poetry (all the while, Matt's Sleep Apnea machine is hissing in my ear, and it's fucking cold because the AC is too low - again). I wake up this morning and immediately start fiddling around with blog-design (a job that I'm working on for friends) and facebook and gmail. I have e-ma Read more:Talking
Here's what makes me fall in love with the Mid-West again. 2008-07-07 08:27:00 We're standing in the grass beside the giant, green jumpy balloon - Josie is inside jumping around in her socks like she's crazy. It cost us three carnival tickets to get her in there. It's dark so she can barely see. There are little boys jumping up and doing flips - hand-stands even - but she's hopping and dodging around them all. There's the smells of corn dogs, nacho cheese sauce, fried ha Read more:makes
Swim at Your Own Risk 2008-07-06 23:26:00 Tomorrow, I'll write more of my weekend. It was incredible. For now, I'll share a nice little pic. The bed is calling. I just watched four episodes of The Two Coreys and I'm feeling a little more than less creative. Swim at Your Own Risk:(this weekend, at the lake, a guy I went to school with apparently was drunk - as I remember him - and bragged that he could swim the length of the lake. He
No title 2008-07-03 13:00:00 I finally paid off that debt that I owed to my last big, fat credit card - the one that I ran up when I was mid-divorce, an undergraduate student and pretty much homeless! It was an odd feeling, canceling my "credit care" account, knowing that the debt was gone. I've had debt since I was sixteen. I really got tripped up on several credit cards there for a while. Of course, I have those student
Pattern #39 and the Irrational Chapter 7 2008-07-02 06:25:00 The digital, virtual I-Ching stones told him this morning that the lava lake beside the mountain was rumbling, that he was struggling with an obstacle that he could easily walk around, and that his biggest battle was within himself. This is basically what I told him last night, sitting on the edge of the bed, having come up to apologize because I was pissed because he's been so unhappy (and not d Read more:Pattern
, Irrational
, Chapter
Ori Tiberius Smith: Summer Cut 2008-06-30 21:58:00 BEFORE:AFTER:(yes, I do believe there is a hint of "pissed" behind those lovely brown eyes) Read more:Smith
, Summer
Coping Mechanisms 2008-06-30 06:26:00 I just have a little while before I have to go get dressed so that I can take the dog to Markleville to the Dog Groomer to have his fleas abolished (and possibly all of his hair shaved). But . . . I was thinking about "coping mechanisms." I found myself perturbed by the mentioning of the words and the "lack there of" again this morning. "I can't deal with this, Rachel."I've heard the claim ofte Read more:Coping
, Mechanisms
Dithyrambic? (good crazy word) 2008-06-27 12:23:00 Here I am taking a moment to reflect while things for Issue #01 "process" and "save" and "load." I must be insane. I'm running on three hours of sleep. Not sure why I stayed up so late. I just want my weekend (a trip to the drive-in tonight to see Wall-E, maybe? Saturday is all Steve Miller Band - FREE tickets!!!). As of today, I am a cranky, bra-less, determined bitch. I was awakened at 9A
Heeby Jeebbies and Sneaky Peekies 2008-06-26 02:08:00 Here I sit. 3AM. I'm finally takin' a breather from Issue #01. I've finally got the InDesign Layout down to where I'm afraid to tweek it any longer. I've spellchecked the hell out of it. 'Makes me wonder what little boo-boo's will end up getting through - because I won't be having time to wait on the "editorial response" of my "support" gang. ha ha (joke intended). Oh well, I suppose when y Read more:Sneaky
Things That Pop Up: Murder, Heart-Failure, Storm Clouds, Button Mushrooms 2008-08-07 22:34:00 There is a house that sits dark and empty just down Madison Road at the corner of Portobello Drive, just at the entrance to Pendle Hill (a drab series of brick ranch houses on sequential cul de sacs that were probably considered more "uppity" in the 80's, seeing as Huntsville East didn't explode to the north until the late 90's, laying shame to all brick ranch home owners with multi-stories and wi Read more:Heart
, Storm
, Clouds
, Mushrooms
Check In Mid-Recovery 2008-08-06 10:07:00 Wow. I have really felt like shit for the last couple of days. I thought I was going to have to find a walk-in clinic yesterday -- My sore throat was so bad. But, this morning, my throat feels better (so I can EAT a bagel and DRINK some coffee). I still didn't get much sleep (the baby was in bed with us by 3AM - the stinker.). I'm still having some sinus problems, my ears are ringing, and I w Read more:Check
, Recovery
The Pesty Dreams of Myself and My Mother 2008-08-03 09:36:00 I dreamed of cockroaches again. They were in the downstairs bathroom, skittering out of the broken toilet. Over the years, I've had nightmares like this often. Here's where darkness festers.This time I can pin the cause on the phone call last night from my mother. She spoke of finding a roach in her bathroom (how they run over from her neighbor's house), and I thought of how she used to squash Read more:Dreams
13 Critical Learned Lessons (gathered within the last 24 hours) 2008-08-01 08:34:00 What I Learned
at 9:30PM Last Night over Papa John's Pizza:1. Lost, Season II, is over-dramatic and stinky.2. A teenager will hide and keep pills she has stolen from the medicine cabinet in a Smilin' Safari bag meant for those tiny rubber bands that she used to need for her braces. She'll hide them between the wall and her bed. Red Sudafed that look like Skittles. A few pain killers. Anti-in Read more:Lessons
, within
Snuggle Bear and Dodger VERSUS The Darkness 2008-07-31 07:05:00 My three year old has a habit of crawling into bed with us around 4 a.m. I confess, it's a habit that I have not put much effort into breaking (and I know better - I do). It's just too easy to lift her up, throw her into the middle of the bed beside me and snuggle her back to sleep. And she's three - soft and warm like the Snuggle
Bear - and most days, she smells good. She will wake from her s Read more:Dodger
, Darkness
Axing the Trooper and Aging Shamefully, Wordlessly 2008-07-30 21:42:00 Well, I spent the last hour messing around with that last story posted . . . and I cut out the shit about the trooper's oozy memories and even sent it off as an attachment (after giving it back it's old title). I submitted. Not that I think it's that great of a story (well, I didn't think it was all that bad, but . . . after clicking "send" and then re-reading it again - My God - it surely sucks Read more:Trooper
, Aging
The (My) Greater Engima Machine 2008-07-29 22:50:00 (My original intentions with this one - once titled "Bye Bye Birdie" - was to make it shorter. Instead, I expanded it - on accident - by 200 words (word count: 750). I post it here - revamped - should anybody want to read it. The inspiration is non-fiction. This, however, is all me filling the blanks in. I just can't bring myself to write more of the ongoing shit that surrounds me - besides, Read more:Machine
Bar Talk 2008-07-29 01:15:00 (A scribble I found tucked away in one of my old journals . . . and an enlightening image on what thought goes into beer glass design ingeniousness. I miss beer.)Bar Talk"Cousin Dave got religionand all that I ever wanted was to win the lottery,"I said to no one while pouring salt onmy napkin.The bartender showed me the cross pendanthe kept dropped behind his collar.I showed him my fish-eye.
Drama, Mama? 2008-07-27 11:25:00 I'm not sure if I AM the drama magnet or if I am just at a time in my life during which drama IS a certainty, given all the teeny wieners. BUT my teenage girls are on and off in love so they're on and off with the tear faucets. They're sampling hair dyes and stealing my smokes (one thinks I have yet to notice). Worse yet, fellow mothers feel compelled to tell me such things as the last time the
My Strawtown: It's ALL cheaper than string beans 2008-07-25 16:49:00 On Thursdays in the summer, Strawtown is a flea market hot spot. Farm animals. Antique tools. Sweet Corn $1 by the Baker's dozen. VHS tapes. Blackmarket DVDs. Outdated, crunched up boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes. Naked Barbie dolls. Irregular blue jeans. Cheap dreamcatchers. We are an amazing bunch of people, exchanging amazingly useless items. I looked for old hardback books (findi
Where Closed Beaches Get You 2008-07-23 21:47:00 Today was better. Today was actually quite nice. After a depressing chat with Matt during his lunch break ("Well, this day is just as shitty as every other day . . . "), I gave up on sitting home to cheer him up in some round about way (was that what I've been trying to do?). Looking back on my day, it feels a little selfish - childish even, but, then again I'm looking at it as part of my job Read more:Closed
, Beaches
The Stomachs of Mine and Others 2008-08-23 22:59:00 I fear this whole "confessional" blog thing may settle in the stomachs of others as an egotistical effort to get strangers to read my diary. Blogs were defined as such by an old friend who found me again on Facebook, actually. But no, that's not totally true. I never wrote with this much effort in my diaries. And, here, I can't add legitimate doodles. My diaries are filled with doodles. Out Read more:Others
No title 2008-08-21 07:53:00 Today, I'm skipping a workshop on campus that I signed up for. One that offered a stipend - $100 maybe to review a basic (but fat) freshman composition textbook. NOT today. The last two days have been a tad overloaded, and I didn't expect it. I need a day to reclaim my house, to eat breakfast, to get organized, to get the tire re-checked on the van, to scrub the spot where the pup pissed on th
With My Head in the Dream Dictionary, Prior to a Shower 2008-08-19 05:36:00 I only have twenty minutes.The kids left me with Vh1 on. I really want to like Kid Rock, but given his repeated sampling and lack of decent lyrical prose and bikini-ridden videos, I just can't do it. Last night, I dreamt of soap bubbles and the old, big farmhouse of my Aunt Carly (the one the coal mines bought and left empty) and cats. The DreamDictionary
says "cats denote ill luck." They wer Read more:Prior
, Shower
I need a fresh metaphor equivalent to "the shit is about to hit the fan." 2008-08-12 10:13:00 He came home early again. Hands were shaking. Anxiety attacks all morning one after another. Unable to spend another day in the office alone. This morning, I was all tied up when he called me - after reading more about Russia and Georgia. War Games flashing behind my eyes. Tic Tac Toe. "I'm not about this. It's all capitalistic bullshit. It's not where I want to be."Then he tells me about Read more:fresh
Under A Bright Blue Bullyrag: Sand Boobies, The Moon, and A Potential Date with My Ladies 2008-08-10 21:21:00 Today . . . MORE of this creepy pristine weather. It's made my skin crawl all weekend. I watched Twister this afternoon to make myself feel better. The beach on Saturday was too much fun (despite the unsweltering temperatures). There was no crowd. We chased displaced seagulls and threw around a cousin to the frisbee. Who woulda' thought that we were in Indiana??? Sailboats? We didn't build Read more:Bright
, Potential
The Title of that Last Post Should Have Been "Squeezing the Shit Out of . . ." 2008-08-09 22:20:00 That's all.AND I had to share a piece of prose that I found in my spam box (this is all that I've read today):Murphy. There do be horses comin', too. Have they and itis mr. Ogilvie you will look after. And as soon as duryodhanawas born, that the entire little nugget out of the dump.You'll have the attentive spectator. The belief of martialastronomers that strike empty space with their fists, orse Read more:Title
Squeezing This Bitter-Sweet August 2008-08-09 09:04:00 Yesterday, I bought an old video camera (one of the little solid block boogers that records ON film rolls - an antique), a ceramic chocolate bunny (IN its original box), an old washboard, a copy of Dante's Inferno (for my son), three polo shirts for Matt for work, some new Halloween decorations, some massive X-mas platters, and various other things not-needed all in one box from a yard sale post-n Read more:Bitter
, Sweet
, August
Alcoholic mice, Carnivorous Nocturnal Eyeless Ghost Slugs, Designer Genitalia, and The Triumph of Shit 2008-09-12 23:21:00 I heart my Harper's "Findings" (October 2008). I think my subscription ran out, but they keep sending me issues. This issue came to me lovingly, damp and wrinkled by these tropic-like remnants of Gustav. Scientists found that "alcoholic mice who are forced to stop drinking no longer try to swim when placed in a beaker of water, perhaps indicating depression."(poor, poor alcoholic mice forced to Read more:Alcoholic
, Nocturnal
, Ghost
, Designer
Blog Steals My Lead Again (Why don't I just READ???) 2008-09-11 05:35:00 For twenty sleepy minutes this morning, I thought I was ahead of myself, that I had done all the reading that I could do for my TA classes, and that maybe I could get away with poking my head into Erica Lopez's Flaming Iguanas (I know that sounds wrong). The dog had jumped up the stairs and into our bedroom to scratch himself before daylight. His little dog tags jingled and jingled until I final Read more:Again
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