Owner: My Natal Tongue URL:http://mynataltongue.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 09:11:36 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Confessions of a Flailing Superwoman . . . Site statistics:Click here
A Poem In Your Pocket Day . . . 2008-04-17 12:05:00 The High-Toned Old Christian Woman by Wallace Stevens Poetry is the supreme fiction, madame.Take the moral law and make a nave of itAnd from the nave build haunted heaven. Thus,The conscience is converted into palms,Like windy citherns hankering for hymns.We agree in principle. That's clear. But takeThe opposing law and make a peristyle,And from the peristyle project a masqueBeyond the planets. Thus, our bawdiness,Unpurged by epitaph, indulged at last,Is equally converted into palms,Squiggling like saxophones. And palm for palm,Madame, we are where we began. Allow,Therefore, that in the planetary sceneYour disaffected flagellants, well-stuffed,Smacking their muzzy bellies in parade,Proud of such novelties of the sublime,Such tink and tank and tunk-a-tunk-tunk,May, merely may, m Read more:Pocket
Stars from the Rooftop of a Mini Van; The Canyons are Calling; A Motel 6 in Carbondale 2008-04-16 23:06:00 I managed to jumble over 8000 words for the big, fat meaningful paper. I was told in a brief e-mail that I "had a lot of work to do" but that "the story's heart is in the right place." I think that's a good thing. But, ya' know, I can't help thinking that there has to come a time when I stop relying on the feedback of college professors . . . Life experiences only goes so far when you live close to a campus, when you have so many good benefits, the freedom of a sabatical, the stressors of impressing paying parents over the world, the stressors of impressing your fellow colleagues (who come to make up the world, for example: "I'll give you this award that I made up if you'll make up one for me!"). I'm not sure where it is that I'm at right now - it's not enlightenment; it's not annoyed; Read more:Calling
, Rooftop
, Motel
Writers on the Road, Slime in the Star, and Finding Inner Peace 2008-04-22 23:01:00 Here's a spot for my ego, eh? If only I could come up with something reflective of my inner being . . . Eckert Tolle is deflating my drive to draw eyes. Reality TV is deflating my sex drive. I wonder how good sex with Brett Michaels could possibly be - there in his kick-ass tour bus with band members and VIPs like paid onlookers . . . And, see? I get cornered into this shit and feel like I have to explain myself (I blame my teenage daughters). I don't even feel justified in describing my day. I can only call it "good." Okay, it felt more like "damn good." There's a little description. This is why I should write poetry. Memoir turns pointless.I wonder if I can turn the trip to Carbondale into a poem? But then it would have to be too chronological. An exploding tire, the guy on t Read more:Writers
, Slime
, Peace
Lights Out 2008-04-29 23:13:00 The student loan is all gone. And now I have new wheel bearings and back brakes for the van and a new well pump for the house to show for it. No trip out west to the four corners. What was once vital has been canceled. The story of my life.For now, I have a stack of poetry to read. I'm not sure why I'm avoiding it, but I think I will. Karate Kid II is on the television in the background. The whole world must be asleep. Read more:Lights
Mornin' Sunshine 2008-05-01 08:22:00 Ah, the stress of morning . . . Josie peed in the bed again. The puppy won't stop barking. My teenagers have come close enough to outright tell me that they're ready for birth control. Matt and I need a vacation. This morning, I have a stack of shit to read . . . well, it might not all be shit. But I'm stuck here in this house again today. I have added the ending period to my Spring semester '08 and mailed it off to Small Memory presses. It sort of makes me sad. It was an enjoyable semester for once. I could easily make a career out of either course - Literary Journalism or Literary Editing. And only having 2 classes is what freed me up to do other things. Next semester promises to be a somewhat pain in the ass. My schedule will be hell. Non-fiction (which I really don't want
All Graduation Parties Are Off, Spiritualism and My Humble Little Penis 2008-05-02 06:50:00 And the reason for the cancellations is good. Matt and I have a humble little room reserved at the Western Inn at the Chesterfield Spiritualist Camp. It's close and cheap and peaceful. It's on the National Historic Registry (or something). We are going to rediscover ourselves and maybe have lovely sex along the creekside (before all those damn mosquitoes hatch and if it doesn't fucking rain). No one will be there. No one wandering around the tomb that houses a painted statue of Jesus and always one or two lit candles. No one wandering around the totem pole or all the stone busts of enlightened past leaders. There will be no one at the hotel's front desk. We'll have to find our own key. Sadly enough, the Sunflower Inn is closed. The last time we stayed there, we liked to pretend t Read more:Humble
, Penis
Perceiving Things . . . 2008-05-04 23:43:00 Deep conversations can make up for a cloudy, chilly day. The little room at Chesterfield was pleasant . . . comfortable (aside from the squeaky, little bed) . . (the smell of incense, the quiet strange people, the little church, the homey floral furniture and all the warm antique lighting) . . . but no love-making in the great outdoors. It was too damn cold; we could barely stand outside to smoke. The wind was sharp and he hadn't even brought a jacket. The room worked. He said our noises drew giggles from the hallways. I never heard anything. No shower together. The stand-up shower was maybe three feet wide. The little entryway into the shower was the size of a door mirror. Before we ever settled into the room, we talked about Zen and expectations and jealousy and honesty and a
Walking the Dog 2008-05-06 22:49:00 And all the world is flying by . . . Why don't I care much about the presidential election? I went for a walk this evening. Myself and my daughters took the dog for a walk down 575 South. At first, it was horrible. The little border collie mutt is a rambunctious lunatic when he sees another dog. There are other dogs all up and down our little county road. He has so much energy, I think I will need to buy him a tread mill or a couple of acres to run on (whichever, neither could I afford within the next five years - by then he'll be old enough not to care). On the way back to the house, we ran into a neighbor. We introduced ourselves. He was a skinny boy - 25 years old, although I would've guessed nineteen. He was walking his little female dog (had her collar tied to a rope) and Read more:Walking
Money, Money: Debt, Intent and Santa's Sell Out 2008-05-07 23:33:00 Life is good. Finally, I convinced a creative writing prof to let me work with CEllA's Round Trip this summer and gain some college credit in the process. Little did he realize that this little act of kindness actually made me eligible for student loans. So . . . consider living expenses paid. Loans Schmloans. I know. I know. This will all come back to bite me in the ass eventually . . . but this is merely more inspiration to get my ass in a respectably profitable (at least comfortable?) place. I've revamped CEllA's entire site. I've started pasting images into InDesign. I've finalized responses from my editors. Now, it's all on me to send out acceptance letters and contracts, requests for edits, and those hideous little rejection letters which - no matter how polite you are - a Read more:Money
, Intent
, Santa
41 Virus Files, To Mom, With Love 2008-05-11 22:04:00 This post is a little cherry on my shitty Mother's Day. It only makes sense that I curl with my blog before I end it all (the day, I mean). I woke up to a rainy, chilly day and with a wicked spyware Trojan virus infecting the hell out of my beloved laptop. I was reminded of just how much I DO HATE Internet Explorer. I've been telling the kids not use it for months, but of course, they've ignor
Another Crow Squawks 2008-05-20 12:11:00 Suddenly, I'm finding all of these little snippits about "crows" by all of these modern-day (slutty) writers. My own flash fiction editor even published a piece on WigLeaf. It's like somebody said, "The poetic theme this summer is ______. If you do not have a poem about _______, you suck."
Juno Knocked Me Sideways 2008-05-22 22:09:00 Check one thing off of my "To Do" list. Unfortunately (?), I was in a piss poor emotional state when we pushed play. I had napped in and out of a migraine this morning, suffering through my most dependable, classic menstrual symptom. I even called Matt to come home early from work and help me take care of the three year old and the stupid, demanding dog (who has broken another backyard clothes Read more:Sideways
To Do List 2008-05-21 22:46:00 Since nobody's really watching . . . I've given myself a minute to put the coming the week into perspective:1. finish up Issue #01 on InDesign (geez . . . this includes sending out acceptance/rejection letters to artists as well as contracts, sending out proofs to fellow editors -perhaps, now, there are only 2?- uploading it all on Issuu and making sure it works)2. Figure out Dreamhost, create a
To Do, Done, Undone and Missed 2008-05-25 21:59:00 There is still so much to do. I've got a lot done, but I feel like I've been chugging along in slow motion. I hate to get "I know you're frustrated; it's okay to give up" e-mails from friends . . . I don't give up easily. I don't know why I am this way or from where I might've inherited it (I have been contemplating this one lately). I have this coming week to get this done and it will happen. Read more:Undone
Suffocated by a 2 Week Seminar 2008-06-02 23:58:00 Holy shit. This Lit Biography class has left me terrified. of course, I have not read Middlebrook's bio of Anne Sexton yet . . . I was too busy trying to get my premiere issue of my lit journal out (for the most part, single-handedly). This evening, I had to research alternate Sexton bios (found a cool one comparing Anne and Sylvia) and then read three fat articles about the objectivity of biog Read more:Seminar
Shaving Cream Wars and Bleach Blond Highlights . . . ah, Summer Nights 2008-06-05 05:30:00 Last night, I brought an entourage of children to a farmhouse in Markleville. I picked them up at the park because school had let out early and they wanted to "hang." They were told by school authorities that anyone caught participating in "shaving cream wars" would be arrested. At the park, the June Jamboree buzzed nearby and little Fall Creek raged right beside it - transformed into a smelly, Read more:Shaving
, Cream
, Blond
, Highlights
, Summer
Celebrating and Swaying 2008-06-12 14:41:00 By tomorrow at this time, I will have completed my little two week summer seminar on Literary Biography, and I will have gained an entire 3 credits! This is a big accomplishment in two weeks. Although it's been a lot of work - immersive fer sure - it was worth it. Today, I was giddy. I know that my paper will come together easily (I've already got the draft drafted). I'm going to play a record
Desperate Advice . . . 2008-06-14 00:09:00 to anyone reading . . . Do NOT waste time and money on The Happening . . . unless you're in the mood to throw popcorn at the screen and then bitch for hours on end afterwards. R.I.P. - Your career, Mr. Night. If the shitty writing and acting doesn't kill your career, all the shots that let the boom show surely will. Wow. I had to ask Matt mid-movie is this was supposed to be a satire . . . I k Read more:Desperate
My Father's Day of Whines and Leisure 2008-06-15 22:49:00 This is my last evening of leisure. Next week, I'll be dealing with the kids - ALL of them - while I try to play catch up for CRT as well as with the laundry (the gargantuan pile in the garage will be sprouting mushrooms soon). I actually played a few little games online and watched Shallow Hal tonight. Great movie, but ya' gotta' wonder if Hal tries to find the big-headed man from the elevator Read more:Father
, Leisure
Something I Put Out There and Why it Might Stink 2008-06-17 08:57:00 This is my latest flash. I submitted it to Barrelhouse, but looking at it now, I can guess as to why they won't accept it. In fact, what I've posted here is a version that I've edited even more since I submitted it. The title is . . . uh . . . I was trying to make the link to Anne Margaret (if I remember correctly . . . ) which really wasn't a well-thought connection (I can't remember what happ Read more:Stink
Chasing Away the Fizzles 2008-06-16 22:21:00 "A mutual hatred of beets isn't enough to base a relationship on." ~ the blond on ScrubsThe blond got me thinking. Oh, Scrubs. So funny, and then you have your routine meaningful moments. That music starts. Face soften. So then . . . what is enough? Matt and I had an awesome date on Friday. We had Mediterranean Cuisine at The Nile (no Belly Dancer - she only comes out on Saturdays), and we Read more:Chasing
Odds Are Down Home 2008-06-23 08:20:00 Ah, my weekend . . . We got up at 7AM on Saturday and drove four hours to Southern Indiana, my homeland, to visit my sister and her family. We didn't tell any other family that we were coming so that we wouldn't have to do the usual routines of running around visiting as many houses in one day as is physically possible (and having to keep in mind the time shifts between counties - "well, is that
Morning Revelations over Coffee, PopTarts, and Smoke 2008-06-19 08:15:00 I cleaned house all afternoon yesterday, because there is a chance that I will actually have a friend drop by this afternoon. I discovered something in the process: I am a really shitty "housekeeper." I am not sure how so much dust accumulates on the bookshelves, etc. I am blaming the air ducts. We really should have our air ducts cleaned. Oh, and I am also blaming the teenagers. Ya' know, y Read more:Smoke
, Coffee
, Revelations
, Morning
Good Morning, Dog Shit. 2008-07-22 09:10:00 You know it's going to be "one of those" days when you wander down the stairs, half-dead because you were kept up all night by a freakish thunder storm, and you find a abominable and foul pile of dog shit sitting on the carpet between yourself and the coffee pot. Apparently, no one woke to put the dog out when he needed it. But, I take all shit in stride, don't I? I scrubbed and scrubbed on my k Read more:Morning
, Good Morning
Me, Mom, the Multi-Functional 2008-07-21 09:20:00 Before he had left for the Crue Fest on Friday, I had told my son to call me by noon on Saturday to assure me that he was in fact still alive and definitely not in jail or hitchhiking along the interstate still trying to get home. I thought it would be a hard call. Assuming he got home just fine, he'd probably be in the position to want to sleep until 3PM. He did call - at 11:51AM. I was jokin Read more:Multi
, Functional
Jingle Bells, Batman Smells . . . 2008-07-19 09:06:00 There was a little group of kids next to us in mini lawn chairs who repeated this song (Jingle Bells
; BatmanSmells
; Robin laid an egg . . . the Bat-mobile lost it's wheel, and the Joker got awaaaaaay . . . you know the one, right?) five times while the intro was running for The Dark Knight there at the Skyvue Drive-In. Ah, lovely Skyvue. Skyvue Drive-In, surprisingly, has amazing cheeseburgers
Lost on the Couch, Missing Tommy Lee 2008-07-17 22:22:00 What a long fucking week. We've managed to watch half of the first season of LOST. It's been our "family time" in the evenings. We sprawl out on the couch, watch at least four episodes, and grumble if the puppy or the three year old needs to pee or if one gets in the way of our line of vision. We ask each other things like "Why aren't they setting up flaming markers like Tom did on Cast Away?" Read more:Couch
, Missing
, Tommy
Ear Wigs, Abortion Rights, and Sedatives - all before coffee number 2! 2008-07-16 08:00:00 This morning it was hard to wake up. I thought I had another headache, but now that I'm up and having my coffee (sharing the couch with my puppy - poor little guy's having strange dreams), I'm feeling okay. I have a box of chocolate "donettes" and my laptop. All is quiet. Bliss. BUT I have to shower within the hour. Yesterday, my fifteen year-old and I covered our little back deck with water Read more:Rights
Manifestations: The Flip Side of Hum Drum 2008-07-14 08:23:00 Here are truths. But it's missing a little I suppose. I guess I've been caught up in hum-drum shit (like Martha Stewart comforters and trips to the matinee). The hum-drum shit is deadly. No wonder I'm not writing anything worth reading; I'm swallowing it all and keeping it down. It's sneaking up in the my sleep and manifests itself in night sweats, nocturnal seizures, and restless leg syndrom
Après La Matinee 2008-07-12 19:46:00 We didn't go to The Nile tonight . . . We bought a new comforter set instead. A Martha Stewart comforter set with psuedo-suede and stripes. Only $40 at Big Lots. I love close-outs. And, now, another mid-western summer squall line is rumbling across central Indiana. It's probably best that we got home and then stayed.Kudos to Wall-E. We caught the matinee. I loved it. Although I'm not sure t Read more:Matinee
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