Owner: Funny Indian Jokes URL:http://funny-indian-jokes.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 05:55:52 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Indian humour blog featuring funny Indian jokes and pictures Site statistics:Click here
New TV 2008-02-29 05:27:07 While visiting Santa's house, Banta noticed that he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model.Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down, Banta asked why the small one was there."Oh," Santa replied, "I have decided to watch less Tv."
Egg Dispute 2008-02-25 06:15:52 There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who Read more:Dispute
OH NO!! 2008-02-25 05:58:02 Sardarji finds cigarette in his daughter's room: OH NO SHE SMOKES...he exclaimsThen finds whisky bottle and again he exclaims,"OH NO SHE DRINKS"...Can you imagine what our Sardarji finds next???A condom!!!
Elephant ride 2008-02-15 06:16:26 Elephant in the truck?!?!...Never heard or saw such things but probably it happens in India
Buses In India 2008-02-15 05:46:48 You have seen trains in India
(atleast in the pictures) , now check out buses in India! Read more:Buses
Trains in India 2008-02-15 05:41:30 You got to believe it ..you can come across such sights if you happen to be in India
!!! Read more:Trains
Shopping in burma bazaar 2008-01-26 05:57:38 One sardar came to Madras and wanted to do shopping in burma bazaar. His tamilian friend told the Sardar that the prices will be costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the price. Sardar went and asked the price of stereo for which the vendor told 2000 Rs. Sardar asked for Rs.1000. vendor told he can give for Rs.1800 for which sardar told no,no only Rs.900. Vendor told ok , i will give it for 1500 Rs for which sardar bargained for Rs.750. It was going on like this when finally vendor out of irritation said he will give the Sardar the stereo free of cost. Our sardar asked whether he will give two. Read more:Shopping
Laloo's Son Marriage Proposal 2008-01-09 05:58:58 Laloo Prasad Yadav talks to his son.Laloo: I want you to marry a girl of my choiceSon : "I want to choose my own bride".Laloo : "But the girl is Ambani's daughter."Son : "Well, in that case...... Yes"Next Laloo approaches Mukesh AmbaniLaloo : "I have a husband for your daughter."Ambani : "But my daughter is too young to marry."Laloo : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."Ambani : "Ah, in that case.....Yes"Finally Laloo goes to see the president of the World Bank.Laloo : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."President : "But I already have more vice-presidents than I need."Laloo : "But this young man is Ambani's son-in-law."President : "Ah, in that case.......Yes."This is how business is done!!! Read more:Proposal
A Bengali and a Punjabi In ICU 2008-01-08 05:42:18 A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition. Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, "Bengali." The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, "Punjabi
." This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, "Calcutta." Other replied in a weedy frail voice, "Ludhiana." Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, "Asit." Replied the other, "Santa." A few hours later, Asit managed to point
Fifteen inches curtain 2008-01-08 05:13:15 Sardarji enters a store that sell curtains. He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains." The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing. Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman asked what size curtains he needed. Sardarji replies, "Fifteeninches
." "Fifteen inches?" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what room are they for?" Sardarji tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor. The surprised salesman replies, "But, sir, computers do not have curtains!" Sardarji says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
A letter to Bill Gates from Banta Singh 2008-01-08 05:12:44 Dear Mr Bill Gates
,This letter is from BantaSingh
from Punjab. We have bought acomputer for our home and we encountered some problems, which I want to bring toyour notice.1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account andwhenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field.We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****.I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what thepassword is.2. We are not able to enter anything after we click the 'shut down 'button.3. There's a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We re Read more:Bill Gates
Sardarji in cybercafe 2008-01-08 05:11:40 Once sardarji entered a cybercafe to check his mails.It was crowded so he had to wait.As he waited he saw a man checking his mails.He stood behind him and watched.The man typed his password and was waiting when sardarji cried out "Yes yes I know your password.I can read your mails now."Surprised the man asked "Oh yeah, tell me what is it".Sardarji replied " Five stars."
Bengali Joke 2008-01-06 12:15:55 An angry Bengali letter? Chitti-chitti Bong! BongA talkative Bengali? Bulbul ChatterjeeAn outlawed Bengali? Kanoon BanerjeeAn enlightened Bengali? Jyoti BasuA stupid Bengali girl? Balika BuddhuA Bengali marriage? BeddingA Bengali voyeur? KeyholloA mad Bengali? In Sen (insane)A dark Bengali who lives in a cave? Kalidas GuhaA perfumed Bengali? Chandan DassA Bengali goldsmith? Shonar BonglaWhat's bigger than the Bay of Bengal? The Bengali EgoWhen does a Bengali sound like a dog? When he says Bow (wow)Also when he bharks! (works).
Hidden cameras 2007-12-31 08:23:07 Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?" Santa: "Hidden
cameras!" Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?" Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?"
Message on the birthday cake 2007-12-24 07:06:54 Banta Singh wishes to observe his wife’s birthday by holding a party. So he goes to arrange a birthday cake.The salesman inquires him what message he prefers to* use on the cake.Well he thinks for a while and tells: Let’s put, “you are not getting older you are getting better”.The salesman demands, “How do you wish me to set it up ? ”Sardar says, well put “You are not getting older”, at the top and “You are getting better” at the bottom.The true fun didn’t kickoff until the cake was opened the entire party viewed the message decorated on the cake: “You are not getting older at the top; you are getting better at the bottom”. Read more:Message
What is your favorite flower? 2007-12-24 06:24:11 Once a Hindu, a Muslim and our dear Santa Singh were standing together. An Englishman came up and asked, “Hey guys, what is your favorite flower
? ” The Hindu replied, ‘Lotus’ ‘Ha, I wipe my shit with that! ’ the Englishman jeered. The Hindu got angry, the lotus being our national flower. The Muslim replied: “Chameli” ‘Ha I wipe my shit with that! ’ The Englishman response The Muslim also got angry but kept quite. The Englishman asked Santa, ‘Sardarji, and what is your favorite flower? ’ Patriotic Santa replied: ‘Cactus! and replied, “Now wipe your ass with that! ”
Santa - "GOD" 2007-11-12 05:55:48 Santa: People consider me as "God"Banta: How do you know??Santa: When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh God ! U’ve come again... Read more:Santa
At the accident scene 2007-11-12 05:54:37 At the scene
of an accident
a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh! Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
Radio 2007-11-12 05:53:53 Banta: You cheated me with this radio.Santa (shopkeeper): No, I sold a good radio to you.Banta: Radio
label shows ‘Made in Japan’ but the radio says ‘This is all India Radio’!
Asking out for a date 2007-11-07 07:24:23 Boy: Chalo kisi viraan jagah chalte hain! Gal: Tum aisi-vaisi harkat to nahi karoge?Boy: Bilkul nahi!Gal: To phir rehne do...
IB, CBI and Delhi Police apprehending criminals 2007-11-07 07:20:36 The IB, CBI and Delhi Police
are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The PM decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch.The IB goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.The CBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.The Delhi Police goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
Finger prints 2007-11-07 07:16:23 Police Inspector: Have you caught the thief? Hawaldar: No, but I found some trace of him. Police Inspector: What? Hawaldar: Finger prints
. Police Inspector: Where? Hawaldar: On my cheeks.
Desi Marriage FAQ For Dummies 2007-11-07 06:56:33 Q: What is an arranged marriage?A1: Arranged marriage is the process through which a loser like him will get a knockout like her that he will never get in real life.A2: Arranged marriage is the process through which she will get the BMW of her dreams by marrying the doctor of her nightmares.Q: How many functions are there in a desi marriage?A1: It depends on how much your parents love you and how much they are prepared to spend on you. Parents, if you have two kids, decide which one you love more now. The other one is going to elope.A2: Three functions.Q: What's the first of the three functions?A: It's called a holud ceremony, literally the "yellow" ceremony.Apparently, we have discovered a breakthrough scientific formula.Brown + Yellow = White.Because our ultimate aim in life is to look l Read more:Dummies
Indian Midget Dancer 2008-03-22 05:50:54 This Indian midget has got the moves..I don't have much info about this clip except that the man in the cot is a famous and popular Indian actor 'Rajnikanth'..Oh Man! i like his style of lighting up the cigarettes in movies Read more:Dancer
Disk Full 2008-04-10 05:00:36 Santa and Banta work in a software company. One day, they were to move their m/cs to another building. Banta was having a tough time carrying his machine.Santa : "My m/c has 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB. Can't you carry even this much?"Banta : "But yours is empty and my disk is full"!!!
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