Owner: The Melting Pot of Black Humour URL:http://blackjokesgalore.blogspot.com Join Date: Fri, 02 Feb 2007 21:00:05 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Collection of political, sarticial and risque humour Site statistics:Click here
MR. BUSH GOES TO AFRICA 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Give President Bush some credit. He once referred to Africaas a "nation," but at least he took the time recently tovisit Africa and determine the truth. "Africa is definitelynot a nation," he said, upon his return. "It's at leastfive nations. And Liberia, too."Bush's trip lasted five days, the longest time a Republicanpresident has ever spent away from white people. But Bushdidn't seem to mind, enjoying the cheers that greeted him atevery stop. "Wait till I tell Dad!" he said to his wife,Laura. "He never thought I'd be popular among black people.I wonder if we need to distribute more absentee ballots."Bush stopped in Senegal, South Africa, Botswana, Uganda andNigeria, spending just enough time in each country to give aspeech, visit an AIDS clinic, and answer questions abouturanium. "I still believe that Saddam Hussein bought uraniumfrom Africa," Bush said. "That's why I'm here -- to see ifwe can buy some, too."In Senegal, Bush toured an island where slaves were oncebought and sol
Ebonics & Bubbonics 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Everyone is familiar with the plan to teach Ebonics in such leftist enclaves as California and Massachusetts. "Ebonics," a neologism created by combining "Ebony" and "phonics," is supposed to be the language of the untermenschen, the urban underclass.Here in the South, we have a similar movement, called "Bubbonics!" Created from mixing "Bubba"and "phonics," we too have an entirely separate language from English. Like Ebonics, Bubbonics has a slightly different alphabet and different pronunciations from standard English. For example, the English language includes the letter "L" although Bubbonics does not. Likewise, vowel pronunciation in Bubbonics is different from English pronunciation.Take, for example, the following sentences in English, and their translation into Bubbonics:Can I help you?Kin ah hip ewe?Hi, I'm Don Fowler.Hah, ahm Dahn Fah-wah.The discerning English speaker quickly notices that Bubbonics has fewer vowel sounds than English, and the primary vowel sound is "ah." The
Drink My Poison 1970-01-01 00:59:59 There's this guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying." "No, it's not that. This is the worst day of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave the building, to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there but the cab had already driven away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. And when I'm thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison . . ." Read more:Drink
, Poison
Discharge 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Q:Why is being in the military like a blow-job?A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Wedding Jokes 1970-01-01 00:59:59 1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming too high.2. Woman don't make fools of men-most of them are the do-it-yourself types .3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you're sick of him .4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.5. A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one-they try harder.7. Go for younger men. You might as well-they never mature anyway.8. A man who can dress himself without looking like Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay.9. Men are all the same-they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.10. Definition of a man with manners-he gets out of the bath to pee.11. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he already is.12. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men .......... a woman.13. There are a lo Read more:Jokes
Men Are Like.... 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Men are like department stores.... their clothes should always be half off.Men are like vacations.... they never seem to be long enough.Men are like computers... hard to figure out and never have enough memory.Men are like coolers... load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.Men are like coffee.... the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.Men are like horoscopes.... they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.Men are like plungers... they spend most of their lives in a hard ware store or the bathroom.Men are like cement.... after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard
Negro Prayer: Fo' White Folks Only 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Back in the days of steam ships, only rich white people sailed at sea.One day while sailing, something suddenly happened to the ship. It About to sink. Terrified, the white folks aboard didn't know what to do. Someone suggested that they do what the Negro
s did....."Pray".Unfortunately, no one knew what to say. So they called "Thomas", a Black cook on the ship and asked him to pray. Thomas agreed, came Up on deck, removed this cap and began like this:"Lawd one day I wuz hongray, I went to a restrant to git me sumpin'to eat!...An da sign said: 'FOR WHITE FOLKS ONLY.'Den, I went to da water fountin to git me some wauter an da sign said 'FOR WHITE FOLKS ONLY.'Den Lawd, I went to da toilet room and da sign said: 'FOR WHITE FOLKS ONLY'.So Lawd Almitee.....when dis here big 'ol boat sanks....let it be "FOR WHITE FOLKS ONLY.'In yo name I pray......AMEN. Read more:Prayer
, White
The Last Confession 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Elroy was on his deathbed. His wife, Puncey was maintaining a vigil byhis side.She held his fragile hand, tears ran down her face. Her praying rousedhim from his slumber. He looked up and his ashy lips began to moveslightly."Mi daling Puncey," he whispered."Hush, mi love," she said. "Rest. Shhh. Doe talk."He was insistent. "Puncey," he said in his tired voice. "Mi ave somtingmi muss kanfess to yu.""Dere's nohting to kanfess," replied the weeping Puncey, "Everyting allrite, gwaan go sleep.""No, no. Mi haffi die in peace, Puncey. Mi haffi tell yu...a slept widyu mada, yu bess fren an yu sista.""A kno", Puncey whispered softly, "das why a poison yu"
Computer-Illiterate Husband 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A woman was helping her computer-illiterate husband set up his computer. At the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to choose and enter a password -- something he would use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in "p..e..n..i..s". His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH *** Read more:Computer
, Illiterate
, Husband
The Indian He-She 1970-01-01 00:59:59 An Indian lady walks into her doctors office screaming. She yells, "Doctor, Doctor my breasts are hairy! What do I do?" The doctor asks, "Well, how long does the hair grow?" The Indian lady replies, "From here to my pe*is, but that's a different story!"
The Most Sheer Lingerie 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A Jamaican man goes to Victoria Secret to buy his wife the most sheer lingerie he can find. The woman behind the counter goes and gets an outfit. "This is 200," she says. "I want one that's more sheer," says he. "This one is 350." "I want it even more sheer than that." "This one is the most sheer that we have. It's 500." "I'll take it!" The man goes home to his wife and shows it to her saying, "Go put this on and come down to model it for me." His wife goes upstairs, opens the box and thinks, "This thing is so see-through that the old coot won't even notice if I'm wearing it or not. I can take this back for a refund and he won't know the difference." So his wife comes out wearing nothing at all and strikes a pose at the top of the stairs. "So, how do you like it?" she asks. Her husband then complains, " Well Damn, you'd think for 500 they'd iron the damn thing!" Read more:Sheer
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Jamaican Amtrak Tale 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Three Americans and three Jamaicans are traveling by an AMTRAK train to a conference. At the station, the three Americans each buy a ticket and watch as the three Jamaicans buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an American. "Watch the ride my yute!" answers a Jamaican. They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three Jamaicans cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train is departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket,please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Americans decide to copy the Jamaicans on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Jama
Beener & Neeger 1970-01-01 00:59:59 There was a guy named neeger and there was aguy named beener neeger was going to the store to get milk and met a hot girl 9 months later beener was shocked to find out that his baby was black and white beener told his wife what had happend she said I drank milk from a Black guy
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