Deadly Weekend Experiences
2007-05-22 11:51:00
We decided to go away this weekend.We decided to 'have a little fun'. We decided to be spontaneous.In the process, we almost died.Multiple Times.What you are about to read are true, real life events that happened within the last 4 days. Some of these events may or may not be greatly exaggerated because the writer of this blog tends to become overly dramatic at times. Just bear with her as she writes about the fear, the horror and the luck that was her the past few days.Near Death Experience #1 : Energy DrinksAl and I decided to float the river, which is just an excuse to get drunk, sun burnt and wet in public, but we decided to do this late Friday night, around 8:30pm. The river, being a 3 hour drive away, mocked us with our sleepiness. We decided to get energy drinks. The laughter, the loudness, the high powered beating of our hearts nearly ran us off the road into a ditch. Then, into a truck. And once more, into a dog. Although, there is speculation that the swerving towards the do
Read more: Weekend
Fun With Emilie
2007-05-31 10:19:00
I've decided that, on occasion, I will upload IM conversations that happen with my Emilie
, for no other reason really than - sometimes we say some fucked up shit. Also because I don't have anything better to blog about.Emilie: my computer is being super slow and retardedEmilie: frosted flakes are the SHIT!Tamara: lol. If they were actual shit though - I totally WOULD NOT eat them. But since they're metaphorically the 'shit', that's okay.Tamara: CHOW DOWN BITCH. CHOW DOWN.Emilie: lol
Our New House
2007-05-31 09:00:00
I mentioned a few weeks ago that Al and I were moving, and then promised to blog about it at a future date.Well-THAT. DATE. HAS. COME.Yea that may have been a little over the top just then, especially since it's not terribly exciting - for you, anyway. Now for me, I'm peeing my pants and pooping my panties from excitement.And if that little imaginative scenario didn't get you rock hard I don't know what will.***Al and I have been living together for approximately 5 years now, 1 ½ of those with his father and the last 3 ½ rent free in a house owned by his father. Rent free?! Why yes, that IS what I said. But really, the stipulations for living there insisted that we fix the house up to make it livable for renters once we got our lazy asses out of there. So, we have thousands of dollars tied up in that house, just for others to fuck up.Because seriously, if you're renting you don't give a crap what happens. It can all go to shit, for all you care.So, we were sad to leave, as it w
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Justin's Bellybutton of Doom
2007-06-08 14:59:00
Currently I have 5 drafts, none of which are even close to being finished.Someone quit work this week and we've been taking up the slack.Or I guess I should say, I've been taking up the slack.But I did have time to converse with a dear ol' friend of mine, Justin
.I realize uploading IM conversations is pretty lazy and hardly any type of entertaining, but well, right now my brain can't handle anything more, so you're stuck with it.BUT, I do talk about lasers. And lasers are the fucking shit.***Tamara: You're like a giant lame robot person who constantly works.Tamara: Next thing I know you'll be shooting a laser out of your bellybutton.Justin: i know i feel like that tooJustin: that would be awesomeTamara: It really would. Until you got drunk and was like "Hey guys look what I can do!"Justin: ooppsTamara: Next thing you know they're calling us One Armed Alfred, and Tiramasu Tamara.Justin: and they call me the tyrannical tobsterTamara: Haha. We should make tshirts!Justin: i knowTam
Post-a-lacking
2007-06-13 16:57:00
My lack of posts have been due to the following:- excessive amount of work thrust upon me for being low man on the totem pole- excessive amount of schoolwork thrust upon me because I'm a retard and decided to take 2 incredibly hard summer classes.- i'm lazy when it comes to doing things I'm not required to do- everytime I start to write my mind wanders towards thoughts of butterflies and unicorns.- note to self : blog about blowing up butterflies last weekend- there has been so many exciting things that have happened recently I seriously just don't know where to start- {insert another equally lame excuse here of your liking}Or insert it in the comments. Who knows, you might be right.
Shortie
2007-06-25 16:55:00
I use to work at a veterinary clinic, it's how I supported myself through high school.And yes, I said high school.I enjoyed it immensely, well, kind of. The cleaning up of animal feces/blood practically every day kind of played down the awesomeness of it all. But regardless, I liked it and it was a great first job.I still stay in contact with all the people that work there. Although, not as much as I'd like too. But that looks like it's going to change, oh around 9 pm tonight.Why 9 tonight?Because I'm going to pick up my NEW puppy. Well, it's not really new (it's 4 years old) and it's not really a puppy (because it's like, uh, 4 years old) but I'm incredibly excited.I've been looking for a Yorkshire Terrier, that's you know in my price range (free), for some time and lady luck has finally thrown me a bone. I got the phone call this morning and quite possibly the best time possible. I was nearly in tears from the amount of stress that work seems to be pushing onto me. And Sho
Pure Romance
2007-06-28 10:10:00
I've posted a lot of conversations involving Emilie, but I've actually never introduced her. So, today, I shall.Emilie and I met when she was in middle school and I in high school, she's the same age as my sister and they were friends before we were. I was friends with Emilie's older sisters, Erin and Christina. Who are incredibly awesome people as well. I have plenty of fabulous memories with Erin - we got into a lot of trouble together during band. Erin and I liked to incorporate random 360 spins during our halftime marches at football games. Erin and I liked to torture our poor Spanish teacher by stealing her remote. Erin and I liked to...well, you get the point.Back to Emilie. We didn't start really hanging out until she started dating Justin, a best friend of my husband, a few years back. We laugh together, we get drunk together, we complain together, we compliment each other on the awesomeness that is us and we have fun together. Recently, we had some more fun together.Fun i
Read more: Romance
My Lesbian Crush
2007-07-06 09:44:00
My job is somewhat demanding during the summer months, but other than that it's great. We have a nice dose of freedom that allows me to answer personal phone calls, listen to music and scour the internet - all within reason of course. Recently, I've gone into a TV show listening kick. It started with the videos on ABC.com. Ugly Betty, Brothers and Sisters, Desperate Housewives - but very quickly I realized that I didn't want to just listen to random ones. I want to listen to them ALL, in order and at my leisure.So, I was directed to this link - http://www.tv-links.co.uk/ - via an awesome friend and I've never been happier. But because the "Brothers and Sisters" link was screwing up, I changed over to another show. I know, I know - laugh it up. I can't help it, I'm a girl and I love these teensy soap operas. They get me every time. And because this show was moved to another station last year, another station that I do not have - I never get to watch it.And because I never get to w
Two Weeks of Love
2007-07-11 13:51:00
I intended on doing a photo blog of my new dog, Shortie, or who Alfred and I affectionately called "Stupid". But, unfortunately, that will never be.Last Friday my beloved dog of whom I had just a mere 2 weeks was brutally murdered.By my other dog, P.P.I know, we have some odd animal names.I don't know where I'm going with this blog, and I suppose this once I'm not really writing to entertain - just more to write I guess.I've lost animals, I've had animals for months that have been killed by coyotes, or run over, but none have affected me nearly as much as the death of Shortie. I looked forward to coming home from school to find him bouncing off the walls with excitement to see me. It was a nice feeling. I've never had that before, with an animal, I mean Al bounces off the walls all the time for me. But with Shortie I felt like we bonded in that short period of time.He followed me around the kitchen, or hell, he followed me everywhere and I can't help but blame myself for his dea
Read more: Weeks
, Two Weeks
Death by Class
2007-07-26 11:52:00
So, I'm exhausted from school. And from work. And from every buttmunching thing else that can extract any type of energy from me.And because of this I've decided I need a vacation. A vacation to Galveston, to be specific. Although, I haven't discussed this with Alfred and I'm not entirely sure we can afford it - I think I'm going to have to continually sex him up and once he's in the afterglow of my sexings I will have him where I want him.You know, to the point of "Anything you want, babe."It's a good point and once I learned it was possible, a pivotal role in our relationship. But that's just our dirty little secret. Also, I need a vacation to hopefully rid me of these frightening, albeit fascinatingly odd, dreams.Dream Excerpt #1 - I was walking along a path, next to a very tall, very block shaped ( kind of like in a Lego fashion)and incredibly red.Actually, there were a bunch of them.But I'm going to just focus on one. We were walking side by side when all of a sudden some
Harry Potter
2007-08-03 09:38:00
One of my favorite things to do is sit down, open a bag of chips, and devour – a book. Not literally though, because let’s face it – taste buds and paper don’t get along. But intellectually speaking, that’s exactly what I do – devour. Especially if it’s good, the book will be swallowed, digested and pooped out in a couple of days. And soon after, I’ll had wished I didn't eat it so fast and rather sat back and enjoyed each delectable mouthful.You’d think after 15 years of doing just that – stuffing my brain full entirely too fast it cramps up - that eventually I’d learn. Well, tell that to the Harry
Potter
books 1-4, that I’ve been ravaging through over the past 6 days. In fact, I’ve been so drawn in I actually called Al – Alfred Potter, the other day.Why? Because he said something and in my world I thought it’d be funny and appropriate. He just thought it was strange and awkward. A few moments later –“I guess I need to be careful otherwise you’ll be
Simply Beautiful
2007-08-02 16:18:00
If you've been reading me for some time, you realize my love of dance. Well, that's a little misleading because the implication is that I AM a dancer, or at least a decent one. And I'm neither.But I like to pretend, and it's been a fun game for me to try and trick my husband into taking dance classes with me. A game I will never win, sigh.Unless... I get a new husband.I'll have to look into that.Back to the post at eye - because I love the thought of me twirling around the floor gracefully I watch So You Think You Can Dance and picture my head on the dancers. Last season I was die hard and watched it religiously. This season, not so much, due to classes. BUT, since classes are over I caught the show last night.I'm usually attracted to the hip hop routines, and salsa dancing but Mia Michaels is simply amazing. She choreographs contemporary routines for the dancers and this is the second time she's stirred enough emotions in me to pull water from my eyes.That's right people, I cr
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Addicted
2007-08-08 15:37:00
I pick up the needle, eyeing it cautiously.Slowly I fill the syringe, glancing wearily over my shoulder.I bite my lips as I extend out my arm.My head rolls back and the beginning of a sideways smile begins to creep across my face as the rush settles into my body.It’s official, I’m addicted to –not only Harry Potter- but books in general.I just came back from my lunch break, where I hauled ass across town to Books-A-Million in search of the 5th Harry Potter book. I found it within seconds of walking into the store, and after reading the cover I looked up smugly. I was about to appease my appetite, but then as I was standing in all my glory – I…I… became engrossed in the ‘million’ books they had strewn about.Fiction, Nonfiction, Biographies, Mysteries, Thrillers – I couldn’t get enough.I ended up buying 3 additional books, part of another series, that I have yet to finish because I so quickly became entranced with The Potter. I also ended up becoming a member for 15 b
Read more: Addicted
300, The Number 23 and Disaster!
2007-08-07 10:38:00
When 300 was first advertised Al and I both exclaimed “WE HAVE TO SEE THAT MOVIE!” Well, since we’ve grown accustomed to uh…not going out anymore, we were stuck with waiting for it to come out on video. Our Movie Gallery was rented out, so we went to Wal-mart and just bought it hoping we wouldn’t be disappointed.We weren’t. 300I ended up drinking Boone’s Snow Creek Berry wine and passing in and out of consciousness while watching this movie, so some of it has escaped me and some of it just never found me. Luckily, we did buy it and I intend on giving it my full attention at some later date. Al didn’t take his eyes off of it though, except to poke at me when something poke-worthy happened on screen. What I did see I enjoyed as well as my other half, who tried to spear me with his arm once it ended claiming he was King Leonidas. If that’s not a joy to wake up too, I don’t know what is.Plot – The Persians are all , “Yo, I want this land Bizatch.” The Spartans ar
Read more: Number
, Disaster
Crispy Bacon and Pervy Cows
2007-08-06 16:02:00
A weekend blog is long overdue.I’m sure you’ve all gone into withdrawals, because without them you’re bound to gag yourself with boredom.Or maybe because of them you’ll gag yourself with boredom.Hmm, well, either way – It’s a weekend blog!FridayI came home from work to find 21 calves in our backyard. I had to ‘shoo’ them out the gate, but not before they tried to gang up on me because they thought I was there to feed them. I think one copped a feel on my ass. It shouldn’t surprise me, they are Al’s calves after all.Al came home shortly after with a friend, who stayed the night at our house. Going through a nasty separation, Al took his mind off of it with loads of alcohol, a 4 wheeler and some rather nasty smelling mud.I was tempted to make them strip and spray them down with the water hose before tracking that crap inside my house, but since it was his friend’s first time over – I didn’t want to scare him too much. SaturdayMade some extra crispy bacon and tes
Read more: Crispy
, Bacon
Happy Birthday Fasha
2007-08-17 16:30:00
Today is very important.Much more important than yesterday could ever dream of being.I mean what is the 16th anyway?(After a Google search I found that the 16th is actually National Tell a Joke Day, who knew?)Still, today is much more significant, not because it’s #2 Pencil Day or because this is the day former President Clinton admitted to having improper relations with our favorite intern, Monica Lewinsky. (Those are both, also found by Google.)It’s because it’s my fasha’s birthday.That’s right, the man who donated his love, his fabulous sense of humor and his pretty olive complexion to me is turning well, one year older.I haven’t lived with my dad in roughly 17 years and my mother, siblings and I moved away when I was about 8 but that didn’t stop me from remembering my father’s birthday even if we weren’t together or in contact. By holding on to that date – I was holding on to my dad even though we were states away from each other. Regardless of what my mother’
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, Birthday
, Happy Birthday
Broken Eyes
2007-08-15 10:27:00
I’ve decided to cut back on Harry Potter for a week.I’m quitting cold turkey.Also, I’m quitting room-temperature ham.My eyes are rejecting me and the only way to stop the burning sensation behind my temples is to cut back a wee bit on my addiction.Because of this new development involving my vision I have been trying to exhibit some sort of willpower by not heading out to Barnes and Noble to pick up the 6th book. The second I have it in my grasp I’m surely to go blind, or have my head explode from strain. The only thing keeping me from going to B&N is this possible conversation.“Tamara, why are you wearing those eye patches?”“Uh, well, you see…a rabid bunny lured me away from the safety of my home by being, uh..cute. Yeah, cute. And I .. Oh hell, who am I kidding. Blame Harry Potter and my lack of self-control.”“You should have stuck with the rabbit story.”Since I started typing this blog (Monday), I can happily say that I’ve yet to go blind. I still can’t wai
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A Weekend List
2007-08-22 15:56:00
Things that have happened within the past 4 days worth mentioning, possibly worth blogging about, but my laziness has taken over once again.- I successfully hosted a baby shower without having any sort of breakdown.- Al’s attempt to convince me that he was a dying unicorn and the only way to ensure his kind would one day roam free again was to “love his horn” could have worked. Unfortunately for him I remember the “I’m a troll, love my club” incident and if he was lying then – well, he’s probably lying now.- I like red-headed sluts. The shot, not an actual … Oh who am I kidding? I love me any kind of red-headed sluts.- I can make a cake, but not any kind of cake – a cake made of diapers.- Who knew that opening a can of green beans while drinking from a free keg can create an unforgettable bonding experience with a younger sibling?- My sister’s hair in the morning is equivalent to an ostrich’s with camel spit
Read more: Weekend
A Poem
2007-08-24 14:06:00
Falling teardrops splash like rainThrough the clouds of thoughtful brainsA wonder of a hopeful wishSticks to me, unrelenting kissScuttle bug, across my shoeDrowning in the water blueThat streaks below my moistened faceOnto the shoulder I embrace.Goodbye, a whisper, so sweet and pureFor the love I once chauffeuredNow drops off on the walk,A heart now, forever locked. Just something I popped out with as I was trying to write this blog. Perhaps an insight into my soul, or maybe I just felt like rhyming. One may never know.Hope you have a marvelous weekend.
22 Years Alive, It's Gonna Be A Good Day
2007-08-23 11:07:00
Today is my birthday, and so far I couldn’t have asked for a better one.Within 10 minutes of waking up I already had 2 birthday cards and 1 text message wishing me a grand ol’ time today. If that’s not cause for a smiling frenzy, I don’t know what is. And it hasn’t stopped there, I’ve also had co-workers stop by my cubbyhole, text messages, a few emails and even a couple of IMs – all within the last 2 hours.Seriously, if I didn’t know any better I’d say there’s a neon light above me flashing “BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY!”(I looked up, only dust and fluorescent lighting)I’m thankful to have made it another year, and it’s gone by so fast. It’s hard to believe I waited that long to be 21 and now, BAM, I’m 22. As odd as it sounds, it feels different. I mean, when someone says – “Hey, I’m 21.” You think, “Damn kid is going to get wasted like a mofo.” But 22, oh 22 is so much more mature, well at least 365 days more mature. I’m like a fine wine, aging w
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, Alive
, Good Day
2 Years
2007-08-27 15:44:00
2 years ago today I wore white, although some might argue it should have been crimson, down the aisle towards my Alfredo to joyously embark on a journey bound to one another for the rest of our lives.One year ago today I spent the day with friends and family, a perfect 1st year anniversary.Today, I’m miserably being allergic to everything. My nostril (the left one) cringes every time a Puffs Ultra comes near it and my brain is trying to squeeze out of every orifice on my head. To top it off, I started classes today and won’t be able to stuff my brain back inside to rest until around 9:30 tonight.Wait, it won’t even be that early. I’ve forgotten about the obligatory anniversary sex to be had. There will be no arguing with that because my husband insists that the endorphins released during sex will heal my ailing allergies and swollen noggin. It’s an argument I concocted years ago that’s come to bite me in the ass ever since. Actually, it’s not even an argument, it’s just
Read more: Years
Street Signs
2007-08-30 15:26:00
Al: “What does a street sign with a circle and lines coming out of it mean?”Tam: “I have no idea what that means.”-I receive an IM and fail to actually listen to what Al says from this point on, for some reason I’m thinking he is just saying the same thing over and I keep repeating myself-Al: “It has a speed limit on it.”Tam: “I have no idea what that means.”Al: “I think it’s for the circle by that Mexican restaurant, never saw it before though.”Tam: “ I have no idea what that circle means.”Al: “TAMARA IT’S FOR THE CIRCLE!”Tam: “Oh, oops. My bad.”Al: “Do you know what a sign with my hand up your anus means?”Tam: “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can figure it out.”
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Overload
2007-09-18 12:02:00
Sorry for the lack of posts – I’ve been busier than a toothless possum. I’m not sure how busy toothless possums are, but I’ve definitely been busier than one. Because of that, this will be a short post with just some updates regarding my life in the past 3 weeks.- My teachers are all awesome, excluding my internet class. 40 minute quiz for 50 questions is downright playing dirty. Pray that I don’t catch him in the prison yard, I might shank his bitchass.- I applied for a new position within my office and actually got it! It’s tons more work, but a lot more interesting which is something I had been looking for.- More job news – I received a raise and upon my excitement I told the Alfred. Later that night he had to ruin it by proclaiming his new raise, which was like twice the amount of mine. He lives to show me up, I swear.- I got the internet. At my house. Perhaps one day, I’ll post a blog there. Until then, I’ll use company time lik
Weirdest Thing
2007-10-01 08:18:00
Weirdest thing just happened.I’m sitting in my chair, doing my morning processes, fretting about the amount of work I’m expected to get done today and I reach down to the side in a hurry.Why?Because I’m trying to find my seatbelt.Seriously, I need to get more sleep. Or lay off the granola. Or perhaps find a slower chair.Whatever it is - I'm thinking I need to do it pretty fast because who knows what will happen next.Sitting in my truck, trying to cut on the computer monitor.Cooking dinner, trying to turn on the microwave for Grey's Anatomy.Watering the garden, trying to shoot dove with the hose.Sigh. At least it looks like it's going to be an interesting week.
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Work Quotes
2007-10-16 14:38:00
I work in a cubicle, I’m one of oh, twelve, in this neighborhood. The actual offices – with windows and doors - are separated from us, but we can still somewhat hear things. Sometimes it’s good, because we know that something might be flung our way and we can prepare ourselves with loads of excuses as to why we can’t possibly add anything to our ever expanding workload.“ Susan is out today, I’m covering her workload.”“ I have a meeting at 3 today, and two other processes to run – It might get done faster with someone else.”“If you give that to me, I swear I’ll paper cut you in between your fingers and toes while you dream of lollipops and turtleneck sweaters.”Sometimes, it’s just weird. With people walking in and out of offices, doors closing and one-sided phone call conversations – one can never tell what you might hear. Because of my recent cubicle move, I’m in a much more traffic prone area. I’m hearing things from people I never even knew talked. T
Read more: Quotes
, Work Quotes
Harry Potter infatuation is back
2007-10-19 20:04:00
I had a post a couple months ago talking about my sudden infatuation with Harry
Potter
and how I couldn't put the books down. I read one through five in a very short amount of time and finished the 5th right about the time classes started back up.So, I had to stop otherwise there was no way I'd be able to concentrate on school and being determined to do better than my last two semesters I couldn't let something as silly as a book get in my way.Also, I was reading so much I felt like my eyes were being gouged out with a KFC spork.Besides the point.Last weekend I picked up the 6th book. I've been reading it in my spare time - lunch breaks, waiting for class to start, using the toilet.I've just finished it and the ending, my gawd, the ending had me in tears. It's been years since I read a book and become that emotional, granted most books I've been reading have the word 'text' in front of them, but I was surprised. Not at my emotion, but that even with a couple months lapse in ti
Happy Turkey Day!
2007-11-22 11:57:00
From Ninja Cat to You - Happy
Turkey
Day! (I know it's been awhile, I'll get back to regularly posting quite possibly as soon as tomorrow! We shall see young grasshoppa, we shall see.)
Thanksgiving Meal
2007-11-25 17:03:00
My five day vacation from work is quickly dwindling away and within hours I'll be in bed awaiting sleep only to find myself filled with dread at the upcoming workweek. I suppose I could call in sick tomorrow, but that would only be prolonging the inevitable.Instead, I'll finish cooking my Thanksgiving
meal and while waiting to watch my Sunday night shows I'll do a little bit of homework - just to give me a sense of accomplishment. Or it might be frustration, it depends on how difficult this homework turns out to be.I know it's 3 days past Turkey day but, we didn't get to eat us a thanksgivingesque meal this year. It's our fault, we decided to forgo the festivities with family - thus, giving up the fantastical food I so dearly love. So, last night the Alfred and I decided to make our own for today. Sure we'll have leftovers for the next week, but eh, you win some you eat some. Upon re-reading that I realized I made it sound as if the Alfred would be helping with the cooking - tha
No Title, Just Relief
2007-12-12 13:54:00
My what was thought to be permanent headache successfully left my body at around 12:20 pm central time.People, I've just finished my last final for the semester. *This post has been written for no other reason than to acknowledge that Tamara is still alive and much less stressed than she was 4 hours ago. Tamara will reside in a temporarily goofy state of mind as she enjoys the upcoming holidays with family and friends. This state of mind will diminish as January 14, 2008 becomes closer, eventually leaving her forever until the end of the Spring Semester. Tamara would like to thank all those that pushed her along over the past 4 months and ask forgiveness to all those that she reduced to tears with her incessant complaining and yelling.
Read more: Title
Cheater
2008-03-04 14:20:00
These past couple of weeks with classes I have been frantically scribbling down notes and re-reading material, all in hopes of pulling off at least two A’s in 4 of my classes. A personal goal I set for myself that doesn’t seem too far-fetched and completely attainable.One of these classes is business calculus. Although I studied myself into a crazy frenzy before the first test, I only managed to pull a 61. Not happy with myself, I vowed to do much better on the second test – which I took last Thursday. When I turned over my exam today and saw the bright red 86 in the upper right hand corner, I couldn’t help but whisper a ‘yes’ to myself and break out into a huge grin. And because 5 out of 8 people in my class failed the first test, the teacher has allowed a make-up exam. I take
Read more: Cheater
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