Owner: Stephanotis floribunda URL:http://stephanotisfloribunda.blogspot.com Join Date: Tue, 30 Jan 2007 11:25:34 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Stephanotis Floribunda: The best humorous blog with a touch of eroticism. This is the place for your daily dosis of top quality jokes, cartoons, erotic pictures, flash media, games and much more. Site statistics:Click here
Dyslexic Cinderella 1970-01-01 00:59:59 THIS IS BEST IF READ OUT LOUDRindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing scloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day she was nucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swollocks. They were really forrible huckers, and had fetty sweet and fetty swannies.The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts wouldn't let Rindercella go. Suddenly there was a bucking fang and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole, and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite whice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks.The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnight otherwise there would be a cucking falamity. At the ball Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Miste all chucking frig Read more:Cinderella
The Chinese Couple 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A Chinese
couple while working in a Chinese restaurant, fall in love and get married - and she's a virgin.On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring, "My darling, I know dis you firs time and you bery frighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting you want....What you want?""I wanta have numma 69" she replies.He looks at her very puzzled and says, "You want..... Beef with Broccoli?"
Free, but in chains 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A woman is born free and everywhere she is in chains.
Mothballs 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A man comes home early from work to find his wife in bed. He's immediately suspicious and opens the wardrobe to find a man stark naked."What are you doing in there?" demands the husband."I'm the local pest controller," replies the man, "and we heard there's a plague of moths about.""So how come you're naked?" shouts the husband."Well bugger me!" replies the man as he looks down at his body. "The little bastards!"
Duties 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Three men were sitting together in a bar bragging about how they had given their new wives their duties.The first man had married a woman from Albania and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed to be done. He said that it took a couple of days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.The second man had married a woman from Korea. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, the dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results but the next day it was better. By the third day his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.The third man had married a Brummie girl. He boasted that he had told her she was to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry done and that he wanted hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, t
Meeting the parents 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A boy decided to have a dinner with his girlfriend parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.A minute passes, and the boy is sti
5 Bucks Hooker 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A man is walking around New York with his wife. They find a perfume shop, the wife goes in, and he waits outside.A hooker comes along and says to him, "Like to come home with me, buddy?""For how much?" asks the man."One hundred dollars," the hooker answers."I'll give you five bucks," he replies.The hooker swears at him and walks away.A little later, the man's wife comes out of the shop and they continue their walk.As they round the corner, there stands the same hooker. She takes one look at the man and his wife and says, "HA!… see what you get for five bucks?" Read more:Hooker
Little Red Riding Hood 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Little Red Riding
Hood was on her way to see her grandmother in the forest. Her mother warned her "Don't walk through the forest, take the path, or else the Big Bad Wolf will catch you and suck your tits dry!"Little Red started towards her grandmother's house but decided to take the shortcut through the forest anyway. The turtle stopped Little Red and warned her "Turn back and use the path, because if the Big Bad Wolf finds you, he'll suck your tits dry!"Little Red was almost there, so she kept going through the forest. Sure enough, the Big Bad Wolf jumps out of nowhere and tells her "Take off your shirt Little Red Riding Hood - I'm gonna suck your tits dry!!"."Oh no you don't", yells Little Red, as she pulls up her skirt, "You're gonna eat me just like the story says!"
Cracker 1970-01-01 00:59:59 What's the difference between a ritz cracker and a lesbian?One's a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker. Read more:Cracker
The Skunk 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A man and a woman are driving in the car when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, the woman gets out, picks it up and brings it back into the car.She says: "It looks cold, what should I do?"He says: "Put it between your legs."She says: "What about the smell?"He says: "Hold its nose." Read more:Skunk
The boys are bragging again 1970-01-01 00:59:59 I know folks! This is an oldie and has been around on the net for some time now. Sorry!! It is still funny though and maybe there is a soul out there who has not seen it yet.
Voodoo dildo 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This joke was, and still is, riddled with punctuation and spelling mistakes. I have done my best to amend this. It is, however, still funny so here it is anyway. A businessman's company tells him that he will have to take a long business trip to japan to clinch an important deal. Unfortunately his wife is known for cheating on him when he goes away. He loves her still but every time she does it it breaks his heart and this trip will be the longest he has been on. He also knows that she tries hard not to cheat and has done so less and less. Having given up smoking he knows how hard it is to shake an addiction so he decides to go to a sex shop to get her something to keep her amused.On his way home he goes to a little sex shop. He looks around for a bit but doesn't really find anything satisfactory. Just as he is about to leave the owner calls him over. "You're looking for something special?" "Yes, I need something to keep my wife busy while I'm away so she won't cheat". The owner l Read more:Voodoo
Contagious 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Little Johnny's teacher is teaching class, and she's telling them that the word of the day is "contagious." She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence. Several children raise their hands. "Very good," she says, "How about you Ray?"Ray says, "My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps, 'cause they're contagious.""Very good," says the teacher. Then she picks Suzie, who says, "The atmosphere was contagious," and the teacher says, "Excellent, Suzie!"Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up, at the back of the class. "Yes Johnny?" she says.Johnny says, "The other day, me and my dad's a-sittin around, and we saw our blonde neighbor painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car paintbrush, and she was going in tiny little strokes up and down the fence, and my dad says to me, "Jesus, it's gonna take that cunt ages to finish that fence." Read more:Contagious
But It Itches! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A teacher notices that Little Johnny, at the back of the class, is squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She goes back to find out what's up. He's quite embarrassed and whispers that he has just recently been circumcised and he's quite itchy.The teacher has him go down to the principal's office to phone his mom, andask her what he should do about it.He does this, returns to the class, sits down in his seat and suddenly, there's a general commotion at the back of the room. Back down she goes, only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out."I thought I told you to call your mom," she says."I did," he says, "and she told me that if I could stick it out till noon she'd come and pick me up from school."
Make up a caption 1970-01-01 00:59:59 You are hereby cordially invited to make up a caption for the above picture. Don't be shy! This is your chance to be creative. Let your imagination run free and say what's on your mind!
The Smurfs Lost Episode 1970-01-01 00:59:59 This is unlike any other episode of the Smurfs
you have seen before. This episode is funky, musical and it swings. So without further delay just crank up those speakers, click on the image and lets get down!! Read more:Episode
Little Johnny 1970-01-01 00:59:59 One day, when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone had written the word "penis" in tiny letters. She turned to the class, scanned the boys and girls, looking for the guilty face. Finding not a guilty face in the bunch, she quickly erased the blackboard and began her class.The next day, the teacher went into the classroom and noticed, in larger letters this time, the word "penis" scrolled on the blackboard. Again, she looked around the classroom in vain for the culprit, but found none. And so, the teacher erased the blackboard and proceeded with the day's lesson.Every morning, for about a week, the teacher went into the classroom and found the same word written on the blackboard, each day, scrolled larger than the previous day.Finally, one day, the teacher walked into the classroom expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board. Instead, she found scrolled on the blackboard:"The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!" Read more:Johnny
, Little Johnny
A romantic winter vacation 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romanticwinter
vacation. When they get to the cabin, the guy goes out to chop some wood to start the fireplace. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"To that she replies "Well, come here and I'll warm them between my legs."He goes out a couple of more times and does the same thing. After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night. When he returns, he again says, "Honey, my hands are really freezing!"She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?"
Protect her privates 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Ever worry about your wife cheating? Want to know where your daughter is late at night? Need to know when your girlfriend's temperature is rising? This amazing device will answer all of your questions! These panties can give you her location, and even her temperature and heart rate, and she will never even know it's there! Forget-me-not pantiesâ„¢ Read more:Protect
River walk 1970-01-01 00:59:59 There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank."Yoo-hoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?"The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are on the other side." Read more:River
Female masturbation terms 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Euphemisms for Female
Masturbation5 Digit Disco Backslappin' Betty Bailing out the Gravy Boat Beaver bashin' Bouncing the bearded clam Box buffing Buffing the jewel Butter schlopping Buttering the whisker biscuit Buzzing the honey hole Clam twiddlin' jamboree Critter crammin' Damming the beaver Dialing "O" on the little pink telephone Diddling miss daisy Diggin' for clams Digitis Erectus Drillin' for oil Fingering the fountain Friday night lip service Frosting the love muffin Giving yourself the finger Going for the gooey duct Impeaching Bush Juicing the clam Let your fingers do the walking Lip smacking Menage à moi Performing a Pearl Jam Petting the kitty Playin' the slots Playing the squeezebox Pokin' the pie Polishing the little pink pearl Pumping the kooter Punchin' the chipmunk Reading in Braille Riding the clitoris-saurus Romancing thy own Roughing up the suspect Scrubbin' the Cake Pan Self-guided tuna boat tour Slopping the hog Smacking Jerry Garcia on the nose Smacki
Little red riding hood 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log. "My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf."The wolf jumps up and runs away.Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush. "My what big ears you have, Mr.Wolf."Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock. "My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off, I'm trying to shit!"
I know you want it 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Move your mouse pointer across her breasts. Enjoy!!Adobe Flash Player Download Center
Recommend Site To A Friend
