Owner: Stephanotis floribunda URL:http://stephanotisfloribunda.blogspot.com Join Date: Tue, 30 Jan 2007 11:25:34 -0600 Rating:0 Site Description: Stephanotis Floribunda: The best humorous blog with a touch of eroticism. This is the place for your daily dosis of top quality jokes, cartoons, erotic pictures, flash media, games and much more. Site statistics:Click here
Penis reducer 1970-01-01 00:59:59 "Take 6-10 inches off your wang" Read more:Penis
Fast as a bullet 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A woman passenger in a horse-drawn cab has offered the driver a large tip if he can deliver her to her destination in a hurry. However, she is horrified at the cruel whipping the driver is giving the horse to make him go faster. "My good man, is there no other way you could urge the horse along?" she asks. "Yessum," the cab driver cheerfully replies, "but, I've got to save his balls for the hill!" Read more:bullet
Blonde Painter 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari." Read more:Blonde
, Painter
Mah-jongg solitaire 1970-01-01 00:59:59 HOW TO PLAY:Simply locate the matching tiles and find a way to clear them from the board as quickly as possible. A timer in the upper left hand corner keeps track of how you are doing. Click on the above image to begin.Adobe Flash Player Download Center
Rubbit the rabbit 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A guy goes down south to be a farmer because it's his life long dream. So he buys a piece of land and goes down there. Now all he needs are the animals. So he goes into a store and asks the clerk for a rooster to wake him up every morning.The clerk says, "We don't call 'em roosters, we call 'em cocks.""Okay" the man says. "I'll take a cock and a rabbit for the farm.""We pronounce it rubbit says the clerk.""Okay, I'll take those two things and a mule to carry them home.""We don't call 'em mules, we call 'em asses and every time the ass stops walkin', just scratch behind his ear."So the man walks out of the store with the three animals. He's walking home when all of a sudden the mule stops.The man sees a lady passing by and asks, "Can you hold my cock and rubbit while I scratch my ass?"
Fleas on the road 1970-01-01 00:59:59 One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin' and a shakin'. The first flea asked, "What the hell happened to you?". To which the second flea replied "I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I'm so very coldddd!". The first flea said, "Don't you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to the airport, go straight to the ladies cammode, wait for a pretty young stewardess to come along, and when she sits down you climb right up in there where its nice and warm". The second flea agreed that this was a grand idea. The next winter comes along and it was time for the fleas to head for the sunny beaches again. The first flea arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flea legs. About that time, the second flea arrived Read more:Fleas
Just passing... 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine."The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby."The little boy replied, "You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's ass and he'll overtake a speeding car. Read more:passing
You can ring my bell 1970-01-01 00:59:59 You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell (ring my bell, ding-dong-ding)You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell (ring my bell, ring-a-ling-a-ling)
Are these my brains 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A three-year-old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. "Mum," he asked, "are these my brains?""Not yet."
Puddles 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Three ducks walked into a bar... "Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck. "Huey," was the reply. "How's your day been, Huey?""Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey."Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and what's your name?" "Dewey," came the answer from duck number two."So how's your day been, Dewey?" he asked. "Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?"The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?""No," she said, batting her eyelashes. "My name is Puddles."
New Windows 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, but this week I got a call from the contractor, complaining his work had been completed a year ago and I had yet to pay for them. Boy oh boy, did we go around and around Just because I'm a blonde does not mean I'm automatically stupid.So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year - namely, that in one year, the windows would pay for themselves.... There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up. I have not heard anything back. Read more:Windows
Falling asleep in church... 1970-01-01 00:59:59 One day Mrs. Smith went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep
during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?""I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this needle with you.I will be able to tell when Mr. Smith is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."In church the following Sunday, Mr. Smith dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones."Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the needle."Yes, you are right, Mr. Smith," said the minister. Soon, Mr.Smith nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Smith."God!" Mr. Smith cried out as he was stuck again with the needle."Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.Smith
Flying Turtle 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A pair of birds were sitting on a branch of a tree when they see a turtle run past them, jump off the branch and flap his arms as hard as he can. He falls to the ground. The poor turtle repeats this process numerous times, and then one bird says to the other "dear, do you think we should tell him he's adopted?" Read more:Flying
IRS Visit 1970-01-01 00:59:59 A man who was called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper," the accountant replied.Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie."Confused, the man went to his Rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma."Let me tell you a story," replied the Rabbi. "A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.'But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. Wear your most sexy negligee, with a v-neck right down to your navel."The man protested: "What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?"The Rabbi replied, "No matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed."
Dragging feet 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969." The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back." Read more:Dragging
Rude emoticons 1970-01-01 00:59:59 We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons", where : ) means a smile and :( is a frown. Well, how about some "arseicons"? Here goes: (_!_) A regular ass(__!__) A fat ass(!) A tight ass(_x_) Kiss my ass(_X_) Leave my ass alone(_zzz_) A tired ass(_E=mc2_) A smart ass(_$_) Money coming out of his ass(_?_) Dumb ass
Rude parrot 1970-01-01 00:59:59 David received a parrot for his birthday. This parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set a good example. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird got worse. He shook the bird and the bird got more angry and more rude.Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer for a few moments he heard the bird squawking and kicking and screaming-then suddenly there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have actually hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto David's extended arm and said: "I'm sorry that I might have offended you with my language and actions and ask for your forgiveness. I will endeavour to correct my behaviour."David was astounde
True Story? 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Scientists at the Canadian Research Facility built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airline and military jets, all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea is to test the strength of the windshields by simulating frequent collisions with airborne fowl.NASA engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains.Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the NASA engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.The horrified Americans sent the Canadian Research Facility the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the Canadian scientists for suggestions.The Canadian Research Facilit Read more:True Story
Mary Poppins 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him... what?A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. Read more:Mary Poppins
Security Threat 1970-01-01 00:59:59 At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Just some thoughts 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one? If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? What hair colour do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen Read more:thoughts
The Logical Scientist 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit...Dave: I reckon he's an accountant.Stuart: No way - he's a geologist.Dave: He ain't no geologist ! A geologist wouldn't come in here!The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder...Dave: Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?Suit: No offence taken ! I'm a Logical
Scientist by profession!Dave: Oh ! What's that then ?Suit: I'll try to explain by example. Do you have a goldfish at home?Dave: Er, mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!Suit: Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pon
Don't step on the ducks 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven - don't step on the ducks."So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along Comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day
Sexy, hot & busty Erica Campbell 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Adobe Flash Player Download CenterFrom Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaErica
Rose Campbell
(born May 12, 1981 in Deerfield, New Hampshire) is an American adult model and pornographic actress. She is particularly popular in the United Kingdom, appearing regularly in Men's World and other publications. She is an all-natural model who is of Polish and French Canadian ancestry. Campbell was the Playboy Special Editions Model of the Year for 2005. She was also the Mystique Magazine Model Safari winner in 2003 as well as being featured on the World Wide Web on Danni's HotBox and in FreeOnes galleries.Erica was named Playboy.com's Cyber Girl of the Week for first week of June 2006 and the Cyber Girl of the Month for month of October 2006.
Watchen Das Blinkenlights 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Achtung! Alles Touristen Und Non-Tech-nischen Looken Peepers! Das Machine Control Is Nicht Fur Gerfingerpoken Und Mittengrabben. Oderwise Is Easy Schnappen Der Springwerk, Blowenfuse, Und Poppencorken Mit Spitzensparken. Der Machine Is Diggen By Expertzen Only. Is Nicht Fur Gerverken By Dummkopfen. Das Rubbernecken Sightseenen Keepen Das Kottenpicken Hands In Das Pockets. So Relaxen Und Watchen Das Blinkenlights.
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